This is a post that’s been rattling around in my head since I spoke at the ladies retreat at our church in April. I mentioned self-care in my afternoon talk that day, but I wanted to develop the idea more fully here.

First of all, I want to be very clear about what self-care isn’t. Self-care is not selfish! In fact, it’s essential. It helps us stay strong and healthy physically, mentally, and emotionally so that we’re able to handle the stresses of daily life and be there for others.

Self-care needs to be intentional. It’s much more than just a bubble bath or even a one-time spa escape, although those are wonderful ways to relax! Self-care involves making lifestyle choices that nurture body, mind, and spirit. It includes getting enough sleep, eating a nourishing diet, getting regular exercise, and seeking medical care when it’s needed. Self-care isn’t always glamorous or fun, but going to the dentist, starting a new exercise program, or choosing a reasonable bedtime are all ways of investing in your overall well-being.  

There’s much more to self-care than just taking care of our physical bodies though. As holistic beings self-care needs to address every aspect of our well-being. We need to make choices that also help us live well mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

There’s no one-size-fits-all when it comes to self-care, but there are some common factors. We’re fundamentally wired to be social beings. Close connections with other people are essential to our well-being. We need to make time to connect with family and friends, but most of us, especially those of us who are introverts, also need alone time. Like many things in life, it’s about finding the correct balance; balance that works for you and is good for your well-being.

Emotional self-care means taking care of your feelings; your inner wellness. It means means recognizing, understanding, and managing (not suppressing) your emotions. It includes actively challenging negative self-talk as well as knowing your limits and setting appropriate boundaries. It also involves taking time to relax. That might mean escaping into a good book, watching a favourite show, engaging in an enjoyable hobby, or spending time in nature. Pursuing fulfilling and meaningful activities that give your life meaning and purpose are also essential to emotional wellness.

I would be remiss if I didn’t also mention soul-care. Although there’s overlap between how we take care of our emotional and spiritual selves, soul-care also involves specific faith or tradition based practices that nurture our relationship with our Creator and allow Him to fill us. This might include scripture reading, prayer, meditation, or journalling as well as being part of a community that provides encouragement and accountability.

As strange as it might sound, one of the most spiritual things that we can do for ourselves is rest. That’s why God introduced the idea of Sabbath. There’s a big difference between being “tired” and being “depleted.” If we’re simply tired, a nap can solve the problem, but when we’re “depleted,” we need something more. So, if you find yourself feeling overworked, overwhelmed and over stressed this is your invitation to slow down and focus on how you might better engage in self-care. Quality self-care has been shown to improve mental health, enhance self-esteem and self-worth, increase optimism, and lessen symptoms of anxiety and depression. It can also help build resilience so you’re better equipped to handle life’s many stressors and challenges.