Sitting at His feet

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I ended yesterday’s post with a question. How can we, like Mary of Bethany, sit at the feet of Jesus and learn from Him? (Luke 10:38-42) Today, I will try to answer that question by sharing a slightly edited version of the remainder of the first talk that I gave at a ladies retreat on Saturday. Again, although I was speaking to women, what I’m sharing applies to both men and women.

A.W. Tozer, a prominent 20th century pastor, author, and editor, said that “God can be known satisfactorily only as we devote time to Him” but how do we do that? I want to look at three answers to that question: Scripture, prayer, and community. There’s no one size fits all, perfect way to spend time with Jesus, but these three components are vital parts of a life with Him.

Let’s start with the Word of God. The Bible is so much more than just an ancient text. It’s filled with timeless truths and profoundly practical principles that are just as applicable today as they were when they were written thousands of years ago. The world in which we live has changed, but the principles are eternal.

There are many different ways to incorporate Scripture into our daily lives. Although there’s nothing inherently wrong with them, I’m not actually a big fan of read through the Bible in one year plans. You start off in Genesis with the stories of creation, Adam and Eve, Noah’s ark, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, and Joseph. Exciting stories that keep you reading. Then you move into Exodus and read about God saving His people from slavery in Egypt, but after that comes Leviticus, a book about laws, rituals, sacrifices, and priestly duties. Perhaps you push through that only to find that Numbers is aptly named as the first few chapters detail a census counting the entire Israelite population by clan and family. By this point many people with great intentions get bogged down and give up. If that’s been you, you were probably left feeling frustrated and guilty, as if you’d failed at something important.

I really like something that our pastor said in his sermon several weeks ago. “The Bible isn’t a book to get through, it’s a book to get through to you.” 

If you do decide to read through the entire Bible from start to finish, doing it in one year might not be a manageable goal for you. That requires reading more than three chapters a day. Instead, if that’s more than you can realistically see yourself doing, try taking smaller, more manageable bites and really focusing on what you read. So what if it takes three or four years or even longer to finish? It’s not a race!

An option that I prefer for reading from Genesis through to Revelation is a chronological Bible that rearranges the text into the order that the events occurred historically, rather than the traditional order that we’re used to. It makes so much more sense to me that way. Many of the most commonly used versions are available in this format, but regardless of how you decide to incorporate Scripture into your daily life, make sure you choose a translation that you find easy to understand.

Instead of reading through the entire Bible, there are many other ways to incorporate Scripture into your busy days. There are, of course, print and online devotionals that provide short, daily readings and small portions of Scripture. Listening to an audio Bible is another great option that can be done almost anywhere.

Psalm 119:11 says, “I have stored up your word in my heart.” Regardless of how we do that, our goal must be more than surface knowledge. Instead, we need to allow the truth of God’s Word to sink deep into our hearts and shape our lives. We need to be like Mary sitting at Jesus’ feet. I suspect that she hung on every word He said. I don’t think she was daydreaming. Her mind wasn’t wandering and she wasn’t dwelling on the next thing on her to-do list.

God knows what season of life each one of us is in. He knows that the amount of time that we’re able to carve out for Him will vary at different times in our lives. We just need to make sure that we’re giving Him quality time. Whether you read three chapters a day or just a few verses, It’s very easy to fall into the trap of simply performing another duty, something else to check off on your to-do list. Don’t just skim over what you read, take time to really think about what it’s saying to you.

While Scripture is God speaking to us, prayer is us in conversation with Him. It’s how we stay close to Him. Jesus often withdrew to desolate, quiet places to pray. If He, the Son of God, needed solitude with the Father, how much more do we?

While a place of solitude sounds great, that might not be realistic for you in the season of life that you’re in right now. I go into my den and close the door for a time of prayer every morning, but I realize that being retired, I’m speaking from a position of privilege. That hasn’t always been the case. My den used to be a child’s bedroom and in those days, mornings certainly didn’t look like they do now. They were a hectic rush of making sure that everyone was dressed, fed, and ready to leave for school on time. During the 18 years that I taught in the next little town down the highway, my prayer time was in the vehicle on the way to school and back. I also remember praying in the bath when that was my only alone time. The point isn’t isolation though, it’s presence. It’s sitting at the feet of Jesus whenever and wherever works best for you at this point in your life.

In 1 Thessalonians 5:17-18, Paul gives us a clear and challenging command, “Pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Jesus Christ.” He doesn’t describe a prayer time, but a prayer life, an ongoing conversation with our Lord. Intentionally setting aside a specific time and place to pray each day is an important spiritual practice, but we can also pray anytime, anywhere. Praying isn’t just speaking though, it’s slowing down, listening, sitting with God, and letting Him speak into the never-ending noise. It’s a relationship, not a request line and it isn’t something to be squeezed into the edges of life.

Also, our love for God isn’t measured by how perfect our prayers sound. If Jesus is our friend, as Scripture tells us He is, and as He was to Mary and her sister, Martha, then we can talk to Him as we would to anyone else. We can tell Him anything. If it’s important to you, it’s important to God. Whether it’s praying for an open parking space or an end to the war in Ukraine, there’s nothing too big or too small to talk to Him about.

Although making Scripture and prayer part of our daily lives are usually solitary activities, God didn’t design us to live the Christian life alone. It’s a group project, not a solo event. We can’t be all that He designed us to be without community. We don’t have what it takes to thrive on our own. We need each other’s gifts and each other’s presence. When we walk with others whose lives are aligned with the Word of God, they challenge us, encourage us, and help us see what we can’t see on our own. We need people who will remind us of what’s true when we falter, who will pray when we can’t find the words, who will walk beside us when we feel like we can’t go on. That requires more than simply doing church together on Sunday mornings. It means getting to know one another on a deeper level. That’s one of the benefits of being part of a small group Bible study.

In John 15:4, Jesus said, “Abide in me, as I also abide in you.” He didn’t say visit occasionally or check in when it’s convenient. He didn’t say, see you next Sunday! He said abide, remain, sit at my feet.

I’m going to conclude with a slightly altered version of an illustration from the book, Living by the Word, by Seth M. Jones:

Abiding is like tending a fire in winter. You don’t just light it once and walk away expecting the warmth to last. You return to it. You feed it. You guard it from going out. Your presence is required. Prayer, scripture, and community are three of the logs we lay on that fire. Without them, our love for God cools into embers, but with them it burns bright, steady, and strong.

In my next post, I plan to share from the second talk that I gave on Saturday on the theme, Present Over Perfect.

Lessons from Mary and Martha

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I was the speaker at a ladies retreat at our church yesterday. Although a late spring snowstorm kept a few women away, those of us who were able to be there had a wonderful time. Our theme was Present Over Perfect and I was given two Scripture passages to speak from. A lot of work went into preparing what I was going to say, so I’d like to share some of it with a broader audience. I’ll do a bit of editing and I’ll break it down into several posts as I doubt you’d want to read it all in one go. Please keep in mind that I was speaking to women, but I think there are principles here that apply to both men and women.

Have you ever felt overwhelmed trying to prepare a special meal for a dozen or more guests? Perhaps it was Christmas or Easter and you wanted everything to be just right. That was likely the case with Martha of Bethany. The story is just five verses in Luke chapter 10.

As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

This wasn’t just any ordinary gathering. At the centre of the guests was Jesus himself. Martha knew Him as Messiah. She called Him Lord. No wonder she wanted everything to be perfect!

There’s a lot more going on here than meets the eye though, so let’s try to step into the story and look more closely at what’s happening. Luke doesn’t actually tell us that Martha was preparing a meal, although I think it’s safe to assume that she probably was. He simply says that she was “distracted by all the preparations that had to be made”. That could mean a lot of things. On occasion, Jesus was known to spend the night with Mary, Martha, and their brother Lazarus, so perhaps she was also preparing for overnight guests.

Keep in mind that this took place approximately 2000 years ago, in a time and place very different from our own. In order to correctly understand Scripture, it’s always important to be aware of the time, the place, and the culture that we’re reading about. In first-century Judea, there were no telephones. Martha likely had little or no warning that company was coming, no time to prepare in advance. In that time, cooking was a labor-intensive task. Meals were prepared from scratch using basic tools, locally sourced ingredients, and open-fire cooking. Martha didn’t have an instant pot, an air fryer, a microwave, or an electric oven. No wonder she was frazzled!

When this story is taught, I always feel bad for Martha. I think she often gets a bad rap. She was, in fact, doing exactly what would have been expected of her. In her culture, food preparation and serving in the home were exclusively the role the woman. Martha’s mistake was not in the work that she was doing, but in the fact that she allowed anxiety and frustration to steal her peace. Her mistake was in trying to be the perfect hostess instead of being present for her guests and especially in allowing her desire for perfection to rob her of time with Jesus.

I’m sure that most of us can identify with Martha. Like her, our lives are busy. We feel the weight of what needs to get done and there always seems to be more to do. In a culture that exalts multitasking and a “we-can-do-it-all” mentality, we too can become frustrated and overwhelmed. We get tangled up in our never ending to-do lists. Like Martha, it’s very easy for us to become “distracted” and “worried about many things”. Like her, we might find it hard to step away from the busyness of our lives to sit at the feet of Jesus.

So, what could Martha have done differently? What can we do differently? I don’t know what was on the menu at Martha’s house that day, but perhaps she was trying too hard. Perhaps she was going for perfection instead of good enough. Do we do that? Do you? Do we feel that our house has to look perfect before we can invite someone in? Do we plan an elaborate menu when our guests might be just as happy with a simple meal and a less stressed hostess?

We do know from both this story and other mentions of Martha in Scripture, that she was a close friend of Jesus. In fact, if she hadn’t been, I don’t think she would have spoken to Him the way she did. She was ticked off and she let Him know it! She was clearly angry with Mary for not helping her with the work that needed to be done, but I think she was also annoyed with Jesus for allowing it and she didn’t try to hide her feelings.

Perhaps in this way, Martha is a good example for us. Praying when we’re anxious, afraid, frustrated, or even angry with God is not only acceptable, it’s actually a good thing to do. Bringing our honest, raw emotions to Him is much healthier than bottling them up. Like Martha, it’s okay for us to say, “Lord, don’t you care?” God has all the time in the world to listen and He can handle our anger, our frustration, and our pain. Expressing those feelings is actually a sign that we truly trust Him with our full selves.

But what about Mary? Why wasn’t she helping her sister? It wasn’t unreasonable in that culture for Martha to expect Mary to be helping her serve their guests. In fact, that’s what everyone present would have expected of her; everyone except Jesus, that is.

Without understanding the cultural context, we might totally miss the significance of Mary sitting at the feet of Jesus. According to Jewish tradition, it was only men who would sit at the feet of a rabbi to learn from him. Sitting at his feet in this manner would identify a man as one of the rabbi’s disciples.

I don’t know about you, but I used to think of Martha as being the strong, dominant sister and Mary, the quiet, possibly subservient one, but that’s not actually the Mary we see here. She takes a bold and courageous stance when she chooses to join the men at Jesus’ feet. This would have been shocking to some and probably an embarrassment to her family. Mary, a woman in a male-dominated world, was breaking the social rules of her time. She was being totally counter-cultural.

In affirming her choice and telling Martha that Mary had chosen what was better, Jesus wasn’t just telling her to calm down or suggesting that she should come and sit at His feet with her sister. In a patriarchal society where men led and women followed, where men sat at the feet of a rabbi and women served, He was throwing a socially acceptable custom on its head. He was recognizing women as disciples and full-fledged members of the kingdom of God on equal footing with men.

Have you ever heard a message or read a devotional based on today’s story that asked, “Are you a Mary or a Martha?” Did it leave you feeling guilty because it seemed obvious that the answer should be that you’re a Mary, but in reality you know that you’re more like Martha, caught up in the busyness of serving others and finding it hard to make time for Jesus?

I’m here to tell you that that’s an unfair question! This isn’t an either-or situation. True disciples, male and female, are called to be both Mary and Martha, to sit and to serve, to have the heart of Mary and the hands of Martha. This story isn’t about “good vs. bad”. It’s about establishing right priorities. Mary wasn’t avoiding work, she was prioritizing presence.

So how do we do that? We can’t ignore the fact that Jesus told Martha that by sitting at His feet and listening to His teachings, Mary chose what was best, but how do we do that? That will be the topic of my next post, so I hope you’ll come back for more tomorrow!

Saipan: from tranquility to typhoon devastation

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This is the message that I’ve been receiving from WordPress for the past few days.

By far the most popular post, the one that has been drawing lots of readers to my blog, is this one that was published more 15 years ago. Entitled Where in the World is Saipan, it was written when hubby and I learned that we would be spending the summer of 2011 serving as short term missionaries on the tiny Pacific island of Saipan.

Saipan is the largest and the most densely populated of the 14 tiny islands that make up the Commonwealth of Northern Mariana Islands which stretches 400 miles along the Mariana Trench in the western Pacific Ocean. Just 15 degrees north of the equator, the island is only 12.5 miles (20 km) long & 5.5 miles (8 km) wide, but it has a population of almost 47 000 people.

A tropical island with a warm humid climate, Saipan holds the Guinness World Record for having the most consistent temperature in the world. The average temperature year-round is 27C (81 F) with very little fluctuation between day and night. It is, however, in a very high-risk area for tropical storms or typhoon with several passing near or directly over the island annually and I’m sure that this is what has drawn so many people to my blog post this week.

On Tuesday night and throughout the day on Wednesday, Super Typhoon Sinlaku hammered the island with sustained winds of up to 150 mph (240 km/h) flipping cars, uprooting trees, toppling utility poles, and ripping off tin roofs. The only hospital on the island sustained severe flooding as did many homes and other buildings. Power and water were out and many of the roads were left impassable. The images and videos that have been filling my Facebook feed are heartbreaking. Here are a several from the Marianas Press.

What a sharp and horrifying contrast from the tranquil beauty that I remember.

As gorgeous as Saipan was, however, and in spite of the fact that there were beautiful beach resorts along the west side of the island, we also knew that many of the people that we were ministering to lived in houses like these ones. I can only imagine what’s left of them after Sinlaku ravaged the island this week.

I’m not happy about the fact that there’s still snow in our forecast for the coming week, a time of year when we’re often on the golf course, but seeing what the people of Saipan have been dealing with certainly puts things into perspective in a hurry!

Family, fashion, and waiting for spring

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I can’t believe it’s been almost three weeks since I last published a blog post! That’s not because I haven’t been writing though. I’m going to be speaking at a ladies retreat at our church a couple of weeks from now and although I know what I want to say, I’m not a confident enough speaker to do that off the cuff, so yes, I’ve been busy writing! I’ve been asked to speak for about half an hour in the morning and another half hour in the afternoon.

Did you know that an hour of public speaking involves about 8000 words? Considering the fact that my blog posts average about 1000 words each, that’s equal to about 8 of them. I’m actually thinking that what I’m preparing for the retreat might provide material for a few posts once it’s over, but we’ll see how it goes first. 

As usual, life has been busy with other things as well. Shortly before Easter, we spent several days with our daughter’s family visiting and then helping out while she had surgery. (She’s recovering well and back to work now.) On the morning of her operation, after getting up early to see the kids off to school, I managed to slip over to the nearby mall to do a bit of shopping. I had just one thing in mind. New jeans. My old favourites, the two pairs that I wear more than anything else in my wardrobe, are definitely showing their age. It was time to find some new ones before they wore out completely. 

I knew that finding the right jeans might take awhile as I often have a hard time buying pants that fit because of my boyish figure. I’m definitely not a curvy girl and a lot of pants bag at the hips. I tried on several styles in the first store I visited, but none of them were what I was looking for. Just down the mall I found a Mark’s, a Canadian retailer that specializes in casual clothing, footwear, and industrial workwear. They carry a vast array of jeans. I had no idea where to begin, but I received the best service that I’ve experienced in any store in a very long time. The salesgirl was unhurried and totally attentive. After asking a few questions about my preferences, she directed me to shelves full of Levis and suggested that I try the 314 Straight and 315 Bootcut styles. She also wisely advised that I try one waist size smaller than usual as these shape-enhancing jeans have a lot of stretch. Although both styles fit perfectly and the super-soft denim was very comfortable, the bootcut style won out. Even if they hadn’t been on a buy one, get the second pair 50% off sale, I would have bought two pairs. 

Levi’s 315 Shaping Mid-rise Bootcut Jeans

Thankfully, the search for new jeans didn’t take as long as I thought it might. Shortly after I paid for them, my phone rang and I had to leave the mall in a hurry to pick up a grandson who wasn’t feeling well. When I arrived at the school, he looked sickly pale, but apparently it was only anxiety over Mom being in surgery. Once we got the news that she was out and all had gone well, he was fine again! 

The following day, once Mom was home and settled in, we left and headed three hours north to our youngest son’s home. His kids were on their spring break that week, so we enjoyed a few days with them as well. 

Speaking of spring, it’s been very slow coming this year. Earlier this week, there was a flock of robins in our backyard one morning, but a couple of hours later a mini blizzard dropped a couple of inches of fresh snow. Today the sun was shining and the temperature finally crept above 10ºC (50ºF). We watched thousands of snow geese fly high overhead on the way to their Arctic breeding grounds, but now I see that there’s more wet snow in the forecast! I fear that it will be a while yet before we’re out on the golf course and before I’m ready to do my seasonal wardrobe switch. 

In the meantime, I must get back to preparing for the ladies retreat.  

Returning to the stage again!

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It’s been almost two weeks since I last published a blog post, but what a busy and fun two weeks it has been! After a hiatus of several years, I returned to the stage last year for our community theatre group’s very first musical. That’s all it took for me to realize how much I still loved performing, so when auditions for this year’s production were announced, I read the script and decided to try out.

Gramercy Ghost, a comedy by John Cecil Holm, was originally published in 1951. It’s the story of a young woman, Nancy Willard, who inherits the ghost of Nathanial Coombes, a young and handsome Revolutionary soldier who was ambushed and killed in 1776 and is now doomed to an earth-bound existence because he failed at his mission to deliver a vital message. Much hilarity arises when Nancy is the only person who can see and communicate with him. Adding to the fun for me was the fact that both Nancy and Nathaniel were played by former students of mine!

I specifically asked for a small part in this year’s play as I’m not sure that I could memorize the vast number of lines that I was once able to. I was absolutely delighted to be given the role of Augusta Ames, a somewhat ditzy lawyer who appears in just one scene early in the show. Our local newspaper, in their very positive review, described my role this way… “Elaine DeBock is hilarious as the solicitor; it’s not a big part, but she makes the most of it.”

This was not the first time I played the part of a lady lawyer. You can read about the last time in this post. It was also during that show that I first tried my hand at prompting and discovered that I really enjoyed it, so as soon as I came offstage this time, I took over that role for the remainder of each performance.

Over the past two weekends, we entertained three dinner theatre audiences followed by a matinee showing yesterday afternoon. Coming to the end of a production is always bittersweet. This afternoon we got together one last time to tear down the set, pack away our costumes and props, and clean the community hall.

One of the aspects of theatre that I have always loved is the costuming, especially when we’re doing a period play. As soon as I was assigned my part, I started researching 1950s fashions and hairstyles. Although our group has a large collection of costume pieces, I couldn’t find exactly what I wanted there, but a couple of visits to our local second-hand store were all I needed to put together my costume.

I also started growing out my hair so that I could attempt to replicate a 1950s hairdo. Using this photo of actress, Dianne Foster, as my inspiration, I practiced until I was able to manage a fairly good imitation.

Here I am after our last performance.

Now that the play is over, I have an appointment for a much needed haircut later this week!

A love of acting seems to run in our family. All three of our kids thoroughly enjoyed being part of the high school drama club when they were growing up and this Thursday, we’ll be in the audience watching one of our teenage granddaughters onstage!

How far would you go for a party?

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This weekend I did something I never imagined that I would do. I flew all the way to Vancouver for a party! I left Friday morning and was back home again by supper time on Sunday! It was a whirlwind trip, but I’m so glad I went.

It was over ten years ago that I wrote this post about my older brother. More than a decade before the measles vaccine became available, Donald, an infant at the time, suffered irreversible brain damage due to encephalitis, a severe, often fatal, complication of measles. Although my parents were told that they should put him in an institution, they refused and we grew up together. He has, however, been in care all of his adult life. Since 1981, before the Community Living Society that now provides residential and personalized community-based support to individuals throughout Vancouver and the Lower Mainland of BC, came into existence, Trudy M has been one of Donald’s primary caregivers. After 43 years with CLS and even longer with Donald, Saturday’s party was a well-earned celebration of Trudy’s retirement. How could I not be there?

Over the years, Trudy has become family. Mom and Dad adored her and as I said when asked to say a few words on behalf of our family at the party, four of us became siblings by birth, she became our sibling through hard work and dedication.

The only reason that I had considered not going to the party and the reason that my stay in Vancouver was so short was the fact that this is the beginning of what we in my community theatre group call “hell week”. This Friday is opening night of our latest play and it’s all hands on deck to ensure that we’re ready to entertain our audiences. Thankfully, our director is also a close personal friend who knew how important it was to me to be able to slip away for Trudy’s party.

Although I was in Vancouver for less than 48 hours and in spite of the fact that it was a damp, drizzly weekend, I arrived in the city on Friday in time to watch one of my grandsons play a game of rugby. That was particularly meaningful to me because he attends and was playing for the same high school that I attended 60 years ago!

My sister and I also fit in a long walk on Saturday morning. Coming from Alberta where we still have sub zero temperatures and lots of snow, we enjoyed the humidity and the signs of spring that we won’t see here for awhile yet.

International Women’s Day 2026

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March 8 is International Women’s Day and this year’s theme is one that I’m very passionate about. Give to Gain is a worldwide call to lend our support to the advancement of girls and women in the ongoing struggle for gender equality. As individuals, giving support can mean calling out stereotypes, challenging discrimination, questioning bias, celebrating women’s success, and much more.

Give to Gain can also be financial and, although there are many great organizations to choose from, I’m going to highlight two of them for your consideration. I’ve mentioned the first one many times before. Kiva is a global non-profit organization that facilitates microloans to underserved entrepreneurs around the world. With as little as $25, you can help fund one of these loans. As the borrower repays their loan, the money is returned to your Kiva account to be lent again. This is truly a gift that keeps on giving! Although Kiva lends to both men and women, 84.8% of the loans that were disbursed in 2025 went to women. This is partially due to a strategic focus on combating systemic financial inequality. Also, it has been shown that money in the hands of women tends to have a much greater impact on the welfare of their families and communities. When mothers are given the resources to provide for their families, children go to school and when children go to school, change occurs. Kiva’s International Women’s Day goal is to fully fund 5000 loans to women this week!

CARE is another organization that puts women and girls at the centre of all they do because they know that we can’t overcome poverty until all people have equal rights and equal opportunities. CARE Canada supports 50 projects and initiatives in 35 countries, working across four main pillars: her health, her safety, her livelihood, and emergency response. Every donation made to CARE during the month of March will be matched by corporate sponsors, so this would be a good time to double your impact. 

While the plight of women is much greater in many other parts of the world, we mustn’t forget that we have yet to achieve equality here in North America. As of early 2025 in Canada, women held nearly half of all jobs (47.4%), but a 13% gender wage gap continued to persist. In other words, women earned 87¢ for every dollar earned by a man. In addition, women are underrepresented in leadership, holding only 36.4% of managerial roles and less than 29% of senior management and legislative positions. Women in Canada are more likely than men to live in homes that fall below acceptable housing standards. Women are five times more likely than men to be victims of reported sexual assault. Roughly 30% of all women in Canada over the age of 15 report having been sexually assaulted at least once. Human trafficking is happening right now in communities across Canada and over 90% of the victims are women and girls. The list of inequalities goes on, but what can we do this International Women’s Day to make a difference? How can we Give to Gain in these situations?   

We can give our voice to these issues advocating for policy change by writing to local or national leaders and pushing for legislation that addresses gender inequality, such as closing the gender pay gap or combating gender-based violence. We can call out gender bias every time we see, hear or witness it, actively challenging stereotypes, discrimination, and misogyny. We can include men in discussions about gender equality and emphasize the importance of working together to achieve positive change. We can give our time to local organizations that specifically help women, such as shelters for survivors of domestic violence or mentorship programs for young girls. 

As Gloria Steinem once said, “The story of women’s struggle for equality belongs to no single feminist nor to any one organization but to the collective efforts of all who care about human rights.”

Book of the month – February 2026

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Finding Flora

Elinor Florence

When a friend recommended this historical novel I was immediately intrigued because the setting is a very familiar one. The story takes place near the location of present-day Clive, Alberta, about an hour and a half by car from where I live! The action begins in 1905 with Scottish newcomer, Flora Craigie, jumping from a moving train to escape a disastrous marriage. Depending on where you live, 1905 might seem like fairly recent history, but this was brand new country at that time. The town where I live was established as a Canadian Pacific Railway townsite in 1906 and incorporated as a village in March 1907.

In the early 1900s, the Canadian government granted 160 acres of free land to any man who met three stringent conditions: he had to live on the property for three years, build a habitable dwelling, and cultivate a required number of acres each year. That opportunity wasn’t open to single women, however. Not surprising, I suppose, if you consider the fact that women in Canada weren’t even legally declared persons until October 18, 1929!

The heroine of our very well-researched story finds a legal loophole, however. Canadian veterans of the Boer War in South Africa were granted homesteads by the federal government in appreciation for their service and there was no law against them selling these claims. Flora purchases her claim from one of the twelve Canadian nurses who served in the Boer War and who were therefore considered veterans. She is astonished to find that her nearest neighbours are also female: a Welsh widow with three children, two American women raising chickens, and a Métis woman who trains wild horses.

With strength, determination, and endless courage Flora and her neighbours battle the harsh environment as well as those who were opposed to women owning land. They endure backbreaking labour and many hardships that were common to early Canadian settlers. Hardships like the winter storm that kept us housebound one day last week. Imagine surviving a prairie blizzard in a one room cabin without insulation, indoor plumbing, electricity, and central heating! To complicate matters for Flora, there were indications that her violent husband hadn’t given up looking for her.

The kindness of strangers and the importance of community are themes that weave their way through this heartwarming story.  There’s also an element of romance and although the ending is quite predictable, I can’t help but love a story about resilient boundary-breaking women!

Schedules, rhythms, and writing

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I’ve been thinking a lot about schedules and rhythms since reading this post and watching this video earlier in the week. A schedule, as you’re already no doubt aware, is a detailed, clock and calendar-based plan with set times for tasks, activities, and events. A rhythm, on the other hand, is more flexible and better accommodates spontaneity while still maintaining some structure and routine. 

When I was teaching school, my life was very scheduled. Days were ruled by the clock and the bell. One of the greatest joys of retirement has been more freedom and flexibility. I attend church at the same time every Sunday morning and during the winter months I lead a ladies Bible study at 10 o’clock on Tuesday mornings and I bowl at 9:30 AM on Wednesdays. Other than that, unless I have a medical appointment, I’m not tied to a schedule. There is, however, a rhythm to my days.

I usually get up sometime between 7:00 and 8:00. Five days a week, from Monday to Friday, I spend about 20 minutes exercising before I leave the bedroom. Once I’m dressed for the day, I move to my den where I spend some time in prayer. Next, it’s time for breakfast and then I sit down at my computer with a cup of green tea. I read and respond to emails and messages, then read the news. I’m not really a morning person, but this rhythm or routine allows me to move into my day with ease. As I often tell hubby, mornings are meant to be approached gradually! 

Although there’s less structure to the rest of my day, I usually do laundry on Tuesdays and Fridays and edit Kiva loans on Thursday mornings. We generally eat lunch between noon and 1:00 and I like to have supper on the table not later than 6:30. 

I’ve learned that there’s one thing I can’t schedule or plan with any predictability and that’s writing. For some time now, I’ve been trying to publish a blog post every Friday. Even though those posts are often written earlier in the week, I’m still finding that that feels too rigid and doesn’t always work for me. I don’t want to simply write and publish because it’s on my schedule or something that I feel I have to do. Instead, I want to write when I have something worth saying. That might be once a week, but sometimes it’s more often and sometimes less.

When I introduced my weekly Fashion Friday feature in March 2016, I was looking for a way to ensure that I wrote and published something on a regular basis, especially during those times when there wasn’t a lot else going on to write about. I’m actually amazed that it went on for as long as it did before I started to run out of ideas! Over the years, the fashion blogs that I’ve followed have either fizzled out or gone commercial, becoming what I call shopping blogs, basically advertising arms for the companies that sponsor them. Most of the bloggers that I continue to follow have a wider focus. Fashion is just one of the topics that they write about and that’s what I visualize for the future of Following Augustine. I plan to continue blogging indefinitely and I hope to include a fashion post from time to time, but I’m no longer going to try to schedule a post every Friday. I need to allow myself more flexibility. 

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I’m curious about your thoughts about schedules and rhythms. Is your life more schedule oriented or does the idea of living by rhythm appeal to you? Please let me know in the comment section. 

 

 

Why Me? Coping with cancer and survivor’s guilt

/ edebock / 8 Comments

This has been a very hard week.

I think it’s common for people to ask “Why me?” when they’re diagnosed with cancer or another life threatening illness, but that wasn’t my experience. In fact, I clearly remember thinking, “Why not me?” After all, nearly 2 in 5 Canadians are expected to develop cancer at some point in their lives. Why wouldn’t I be one of them?

There are times though when I do ask “Why me?” When I walk into the cancer clinic for an appointment and see patients who are so much worse off than I am, I can’t help wondering why I’ve been so fortunate and they haven’t. Surviving longer, having an easier time with treatments, and/or experiencing fewer side effects often cause cancer patients like me to experience what’s known as survivor’s guilt. This is a complex emotional response where survivors feel guilty, sad or unworthy for living and recovering while others don’t.

Once again, this week has left me asking, “Why me?” In a period of less than 48 hours, we lost two very special people to cancer. One, our son-in-law’s younger sister, was a woman in her 40s whose youngest child is still in high school. The second was a very dear friend who we first met in 2013 when we were teaching English in China and her husband was on staff with us. As couples, we did many things together, even traveling and climbing the Great Wall together. Since they retired to Mexico several years ago, we’ve visited them several times and had many more interesting adventures together. Why is it that, almost 12 and a half years after being diagnosed with an incurable cancer, I continue to live a fairly normal and productive life while both these women suffered much more than I have and are gone less than a year after diagnosis? Logically, I know that their cancers were more aggressive than mine, but I can’t help asking why I’m still here and they are not.

There are, of course, no answers to these questions.  I can only conclude that God isn’t finished with me yet and determine to make good use of whatever time I have left. In fact, that’s one of the recommended ways of dealing with survivor’s guilt and I suspect it’s the reason that I’ve felt driven these past few years to do many of the things I do. Things like editing loan descriptions for Kiva, a nonprofit organization that facilitates microloans to help alleviate poverty in underprivileged areas of the world. Things like writing letters for a Christian prison ministry and helping lead a provincial patient support group. These are things that help me find purpose and meaning in survival.

I also know that guilt, including survivor’s guilt, is one of the common stages of grieving. As I grieve the losses that we’ve experienced this week, I know that it’s normal for me to be feeling this way right now and so I acknowledge the feeling and don’t despair.