How far would you go for a party?

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This weekend I did something I never imagined that I would do. I flew all the way to Vancouver for a party! I left Friday morning and was back home again by supper time on Sunday! It was a whirlwind trip, but I’m so glad I went.

It was over ten years ago that I wrote this post about my older brother. More than a decade before the measles vaccine became available, Donald, an infant at the time, suffered irreversible brain damage due to encephalitis, a severe, often fatal, complication of measles. Although my parents were told that they should put him in an institution, they refused and we grew up together. He has, however, been in care all of his adult life. Since 1981, before the Community Living Society that now provides residential and personalized community-based support to individuals throughout Vancouver and the Lower Mainland of BC, came into existence, Trudy M has been one of Donald’s primary caregivers. After 43 years with CLS and even longer with Donald, Saturday’s party was a well-earned celebration of Trudy’s retirement. How could I not be there?

Over the years, Trudy has become family. Mom and Dad adored her and as I said when asked to say a few words on behalf of our family at the party, four of us became siblings by birth, she became our sibling through hard work and dedication.

The only reason that I had considered not going to the party and the reason that my stay in Vancouver was so short was the fact that this is the beginning of what we in my community theatre group call “hell week”. This Friday is opening night of our latest play and it’s all hands on deck to ensure that we’re ready to entertain our audiences. Thankfully, our director is also a close personal friend who knew how important it was to me to be able to slip away for Trudy’s party.

Although I was in Vancouver for less than 48 hours and in spite of the fact that it was a damp, drizzly weekend, I arrived in the city on Friday in time to watch one of my grandsons play a game of rugby. That was particularly meaningful to me because he attends and was playing for the same high school that I attended 60 years ago!

My sister and I also fit in a long walk on Saturday morning. Coming from Alberta where we still have sub zero temperatures and lots of snow, we enjoyed the humidity and the signs of spring that we won’t see here for awhile yet.

International Women’s Day 2026

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March 8 is International Women’s Day and this year’s theme is one that I’m very passionate about. Give to Gain is a worldwide call to lend our support to the advancement of girls and women in the ongoing struggle for gender equality. As individuals, giving support can mean calling out stereotypes, challenging discrimination, questioning bias, celebrating women’s success, and much more.

Give to Gain can also be financial and, although there are many great organizations to choose from, I’m going to highlight two of them for your consideration. I’ve mentioned the first one many times before. Kiva is a global non-profit organization that facilitates microloans to underserved entrepreneurs around the world. With as little as $25, you can help fund one of these loans. As the borrower repays their loan, the money is returned to your Kiva account to be lent again. This is truly a gift that keeps on giving! Although Kiva lends to both men and women, 84.8% of the loans that were disbursed in 2025 went to women. This is partially due to a strategic focus on combating systemic financial inequality. Also, it has been shown that money in the hands of women tends to have a much greater impact on the welfare of their families and communities. When mothers are given the resources to provide for their families, children go to school and when children go to school, change occurs. Kiva’s International Women’s Day goal is to fully fund 5000 loans to women this week!

CARE is another organization that puts women and girls at the centre of all they do because they know that we can’t overcome poverty until all people have equal rights and equal opportunities. CARE Canada supports 50 projects and initiatives in 35 countries, working across four main pillars: her health, her safety, her livelihood, and emergency response. Every donation made to CARE during the month of March will be matched by corporate sponsors, so this would be a good time to double your impact. 

While the plight of women is much greater in many other parts of the world, we mustn’t forget that we have yet to achieve equality here in North America. As of early 2025 in Canada, women held nearly half of all jobs (47.4%), but a 13% gender wage gap continued to persist. In other words, women earned 87¢ for every dollar earned by a man. In addition, women are underrepresented in leadership, holding only 36.4% of managerial roles and less than 29% of senior management and legislative positions. Women in Canada are more likely than men to live in homes that fall below acceptable housing standards. Women are five times more likely than men to be victims of reported sexual assault. Roughly 30% of all women in Canada over the age of 15 report having been sexually assaulted at least once. Human trafficking is happening right now in communities across Canada and over 90% of the victims are women and girls. The list of inequalities goes on, but what can we do this International Women’s Day to make a difference? How can we Give to Gain in these situations?   

We can give our voice to these issues advocating for policy change by writing to local or national leaders and pushing for legislation that addresses gender inequality, such as closing the gender pay gap or combating gender-based violence. We can call out gender bias every time we see, hear or witness it, actively challenging stereotypes, discrimination, and misogyny. We can include men in discussions about gender equality and emphasize the importance of working together to achieve positive change. We can give our time to local organizations that specifically help women, such as shelters for survivors of domestic violence or mentorship programs for young girls. 

As Gloria Steinem once said, “The story of women’s struggle for equality belongs to no single feminist nor to any one organization but to the collective efforts of all who care about human rights.”

Book of the month – February 2026

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Finding Flora

Elinor Florence

When a friend recommended this historical novel I was immediately intrigued because the setting is a very familiar one. The story takes place near the location of present-day Clive, Alberta, about an hour and a half by car from where I live! The action begins in 1905 with Scottish newcomer, Flora Craigie, jumping from a moving train to escape a disastrous marriage. Depending on where you live, 1905 might seem like fairly recent history, but this was brand new country at that time. The town where I live was established as a Canadian Pacific Railway townsite in 1906 and incorporated as a village in March 1907.

In the early 1900s, the Canadian government granted 160 acres of free land to any man who met three stringent conditions: he had to live on the property for three years, build a habitable dwelling, and cultivate a required number of acres each year. That opportunity wasn’t open to single women, however. Not surprising, I suppose, if you consider the fact that women in Canada weren’t even legally declared persons until October 18, 1929!

The heroine of our very well-researched story finds a legal loophole, however. Canadian veterans of the Boer War in South Africa were granted homesteads by the federal government in appreciation for their service and there was no law against them selling these claims. Flora purchases her claim from one of the twelve Canadian nurses who served in the Boer War and who were therefore considered veterans. She is astonished to find that her nearest neighbours are also female: a Welsh widow with three children, two American women raising chickens, and a Métis woman who trains wild horses.

With strength, determination, and endless courage Flora and her neighbours battle the harsh environment as well as those who were opposed to women owning land. They endure backbreaking labour and many hardships that were common to early Canadian settlers. Hardships like the winter storm that kept us housebound one day last week. Imagine surviving a prairie blizzard in a one room cabin without insulation, indoor plumbing, electricity, and central heating! To complicate matters for Flora, there were indications that her violent husband hadn’t given up looking for her.

The kindness of strangers and the importance of community are themes that weave their way through this heartwarming story.  There’s also an element of romance and although the ending is quite predictable, I can’t help but love a story about resilient boundary-breaking women!

Schedules, rhythms, and writing

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I’ve been thinking a lot about schedules and rhythms since reading this post and watching this video earlier in the week. A schedule, as you’re already no doubt aware, is a detailed, clock and calendar-based plan with set times for tasks, activities, and events. A rhythm, on the other hand, is more flexible and better accommodates spontaneity while still maintaining some structure and routine. 

When I was teaching school, my life was very scheduled. Days were ruled by the clock and the bell. One of the greatest joys of retirement has been more freedom and flexibility. I attend church at the same time every Sunday morning and during the winter months I lead a ladies Bible study at 10 o’clock on Tuesday mornings and I bowl at 9:30 AM on Wednesdays. Other than that, unless I have a medical appointment, I’m not tied to a schedule. There is, however, a rhythm to my days.

I usually get up sometime between 7:00 and 8:00. Five days a week, from Monday to Friday, I spend about 20 minutes exercising before I leave the bedroom. Once I’m dressed for the day, I move to my den where I spend some time in prayer. Next, it’s time for breakfast and then I sit down at my computer with a cup of green tea. I read and respond to emails and messages, then read the news. I’m not really a morning person, but this rhythm or routine allows me to move into my day with ease. As I often tell hubby, mornings are meant to be approached gradually! 

Although there’s less structure to the rest of my day, I usually do laundry on Tuesdays and Fridays and edit Kiva loans on Thursday mornings. We generally eat lunch between noon and 1:00 and I like to have supper on the table not later than 6:30. 

I’ve learned that there’s one thing I can’t schedule or plan with any predictability and that’s writing. For some time now, I’ve been trying to publish a blog post every Friday. Even though those posts are often written earlier in the week, I’m still finding that that feels too rigid and doesn’t always work for me. I don’t want to simply write and publish because it’s on my schedule or something that I feel I have to do. Instead, I want to write when I have something worth saying. That might be once a week, but sometimes it’s more often and sometimes less.

When I introduced my weekly Fashion Friday feature in March 2016, I was looking for a way to ensure that I wrote and published something on a regular basis, especially during those times when there wasn’t a lot else going on to write about. I’m actually amazed that it went on for as long as it did before I started to run out of ideas! Over the years, the fashion blogs that I’ve followed have either fizzled out or gone commercial, becoming what I call shopping blogs, basically advertising arms for the companies that sponsor them. Most of the bloggers that I continue to follow have a wider focus. Fashion is just one of the topics that they write about and that’s what I visualize for the future of Following Augustine. I plan to continue blogging indefinitely and I hope to include a fashion post from time to time, but I’m no longer going to try to schedule a post every Friday. I need to allow myself more flexibility. 

If you aren’t already a subscriber and want to ensure that you continue to see my posts, simply enter your email in the space provided in the column on the right and click on “Sign me up!” You will receive an email each time a new post is published. Please be assured that WordPress has a strict privacy policy and does not sell, rent, or trade personal information, including email addresses, to third parties for marketing purposes.

I’m curious about your thoughts about schedules and rhythms. Is your life more schedule oriented or does the idea of living by rhythm appeal to you? Please let me know in the comment section. 

 

 

Why Me? Coping with cancer and survivor’s guilt

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This has been a very hard week.

I think it’s common for people to ask “Why me?” when they’re diagnosed with cancer or another life threatening illness, but that wasn’t my experience. In fact, I clearly remember thinking, “Why not me?” After all, nearly 2 in 5 Canadians are expected to develop cancer at some point in their lives. Why wouldn’t I be one of them?

There are times though when I do ask “Why me?” When I walk into the cancer clinic for an appointment and see patients who are so much worse off than I am, I can’t help wondering why I’ve been so fortunate and they haven’t. Surviving longer, having an easier time with treatments, and/or experiencing fewer side effects often cause cancer patients like me to experience what’s known as survivor’s guilt. This is a complex emotional response where survivors feel guilty, sad or unworthy for living and recovering while others don’t.

Once again, this week has left me asking, “Why me?” In a period of less than 48 hours, we lost two very special people to cancer. One, our son-in-law’s younger sister, was a woman in her 40s whose youngest child is still in high school. The second was a very dear friend who we first met in 2013 when we were teaching English in China and her husband was on staff with us. As couples, we did many things together, even traveling and climbing the Great Wall together. Since they retired to Mexico several years ago, we’ve visited them several times and had many more interesting adventures together. Why is it that, almost 12 and a half years after being diagnosed with an incurable cancer, I continue to live a fairly normal and productive life while both these women suffered much more than I have and are gone less than a year after diagnosis? Logically, I know that their cancers were more aggressive than mine, but I can’t help asking why I’m still here and they are not.

There are, of course, no answers to these questions.  I can only conclude that God isn’t finished with me yet and determine to make good use of whatever time I have left. In fact, that’s one of the recommended ways of dealing with survivor’s guilt and I suspect it’s the reason that I’ve felt driven these past few years to do many of the things I do. Things like editing loan descriptions for Kiva, a nonprofit organization that facilitates microloans to help alleviate poverty in underprivileged areas of the world. Things like writing letters for a Christian prison ministry and helping lead a provincial patient support group. These are things that help me find purpose and meaning in survival.

I also know that guilt, including survivor’s guilt, is one of the common stages of grieving. As I grieve the losses that we’ve experienced this week, I know that it’s normal for me to be feeling this way right now and so I acknowledge the feeling and don’t despair.

Book of the month – January 2026

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More than ever these days, with the world in ever increasing chaos, escaping into a good book seems to be a way to hold onto one’s sanity!

As a child, when I was feeling down or stayed home from school because I was sick, I often turned to my same favourite book and read it again. As an adult, however, I seldom reread books. I first read this month’s feature trilogy soon after the third book was published in 1995. The boxed set has been sitting on a shelf downstairs for almost three decades and lately it had been calling out to me. Although I remembered the main characters and knew that the story had impacted me the first time I read it, I couldn’t recall many of the details. It was definitely worth a second read.

Mark of the Lion

Francine Rivers

I seldom read Christian novels because most of them are either futuristic stories based on the author’s interpretation of the Biblical book of Revelation or fluffy happy-ever-after romances. These three books definitely don’t fall into either of those categories. In fact, they are best suited to a mature audience that isn’t overly squeamish as there are some fairly graphic descriptions of violence and cruelty, as well as references to sexuality and sexually transmitted disease, discrimination, and other forms of injustice. For those who like romance, though, there’s also some of that!

Set mainly in 1st century Rome and Ephesus, this is a story of courage, faith, forgiveness, and redemption. The main characters include Hadassah, a young girl captured during the siege of Jerusalem in 70 AD and sold into slavery; the Valerians, a wealthy and aristocratic Roman family; and Atretes, a German warrior captured and trained as a gladiator. In addition, the author weaves in a whole host of other characters including several from the Bible, fictionalized of course.

Rivers does an outstanding job of vividly portraying the decadent culture of 1st century Rome and at times it seems all too familiar as many of the same issues still plague us today. One would have to wonder if contemporary Western culture is destined to fall in much the same way that corrupt Rome did, but I digress!

The core message of Christianity is woven throughout the series and clearly motivates some of the characters, but Rivers has managed to incorporate this without becoming preachy.

Even the second time through, I could hardly put these books down. In the words of one Goodreads reviewer, “These are can’t put down, aren’t going to feed the kids or the dog, not doing laundry kind of books!” Fortunately, my kids have all flown the nest and we don’t have a dog!

Saying yes to the unexpected

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From time to time over the years, I have experienced the joy that comes from saying yes to the unexpected. While it’s easy to stay within what’s predictable and familiar, saying yes often requires us to step out of our comfort zone and stretches us as a person.

In mid December, I received an email from the president of CNETS (the Canadian Neuroendocrine Tumour Society) asking me if I would be interested in sharing my patient story at a pharmaceutical company gathering in Kananaskis on January 20th. While I seldom give an immediate response to an unexpected request, preferring to give myself time to think about it first, I knew right away that this was something I wanted to do. Since there was nothing on our calendar to prevent me from saying yes and since we could also combine it with a weekend visit with our daughter’s family on the way, I sent off a quick reply saying yes to this unexpected opportunity. I will admit that the location in the beautiful Rocky Mountains of southwest Alberta was an added incentive!

The event was held in the Black Diamond Club, an exclusive “hotel within a hotel” at the Pomeroy Kananaskis Mountain Lodge, and we were provided with one night’s luxury accommodation there. Here’s the beautiful view from the window of our room early Tuesday morning.

The group that I would be speaking to on Tuesday was made up of approximately 20 individuals from across the country plus a member of the company’s legal counsel from the US. We were invited to have dinner with them on Monday evening and by the time we’d spent a couple of very relaxing hours over a delicious meal together, I felt so comfortable with them that any nervousness I might have felt about sharing my story had completely evaporated. They have an unwritten rule that when they assemble in person they don’t discuss politics or religion, probably very wise considering the state of the world that we live in today. Instead, conversation around the table ranged from families to food to travel and a variety of other topics. After dinner, hubby and I relaxed in the outdoor hot tub before retiring for the night.

The following morning my story was very well received. As the producers of a generic version of a medication that is commonly used by neuroendocrine patients, they wanted to hear about my journey to diagnosis, my treatments, and what it has been like living with NETS (neuroendocrine cancer), as well as what tools or support services might be helpful to the NETS community. I was impressed by the fact that  they were very interested in learning about the disease from the patient’s perspective. There were audible gasps and even a few tears, but also moments of laughter as they hung on every word. My half hour talk was followed by a question and answer period during which they asked some very insightful questions and expressed their appreciation for all that I shared.

Once again, saying yes to the unexpected was a very rewarding experience and one that I’d be happy to repeat. When we take a chance and step into the unknown, we have the opportunity to make new connections, discover new strengths, and open ourselves up to unexpected rewards. I believe in embracing life and living it to the fullest, so I hope to have more opportunities to say yes to the unexpected!

Struggling with social media

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I’ve written about my love/hate relationship with Facebook before. Looking back, I can’t believe it’s been 10 years since I wrote that post and here I am once again feeling the same sort of frustration that I felt back then although for somewhat different reasons.

With over 3 billion active users, Facebook continues to be the world’s most popular social media platform, but it’s driving me crazy! I originally joined to connect with people who were important to me. I miss the days when my feed was filled with their photos and status updates. Now every time I look at Facebook, I see endless posts about the horrors happening south of our border, the vocal minority who want our province to separate from Canada, and the latest well-known evangelical Christian to admit to sexual sin, as well as numerous AI generated stories that may or may not contain elements of truth. I swear that my blood pressure climbs every time I scroll! Apparently, social media algorithms think these are the things I want to see, but they are not! I read local, national, and world news on several sites of my own choosing every day. I don’t need to see it on social media.

In the past, I found that I could clean up my newsfeed by hiding or blocking the sources of posts that I didn’t want to see. I’m still trying to do that, but it doesn’t seem to work as well as it once did. For every source that I block, several more appear. There seems to be no end of them!

So what’s the answer? What would happen if I just stepped away? Would I lose friendships? Would I miss something important? I know that I would lose the one connection that I still have with a number of acquaintances around the world and I would miss that, but is it worth it? That’s the decision that I’m struggling with. As long as I didn’t completely delete my Facebook account, I’d still be able to use Messenger to chat with those that I’m more closely connected with and I do want to continue linking my blog posts to Facebook as that’s where many of you find them and comment on them.

There are, of course, numerous other social media platforms, but none of them gobble up the time or cause me the frustration that Facebook does. I do have an Instagram account, but I mainly use it to look at what a few others have posted and seldom post anything myself. I also use WhatsApp to chat with a limited number of individuals and, although I’m no longer part of the professional world, I do have a LinkedIn account.

How would you describe your relationship with social media? Do you find it as frustrating as I do? How do you handle that?

For now, I’m going to continue attempting to curate my Facebook feed by unfollowing or blocking sites that frustrate me and I’m also going to try to set limits on how much time I spend on social media. Perhaps that will help.

Paper or digital?

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There was a time when I wrote everything by hand. As a university student in the early 1970s, while most of my peers were cranking out essays on manual or electric typewriters, every paper that I submitted was handwritten. It wasn’t because I didn’t know how to type. My mother had insisted that typing was a skill that every girl should have, so I had taken typing classes in high school. I just preferred to write by hand. My early freelance articles were handwritten, but I typed a final copy for submission because  that was required by most publications. Then came computers and the ease of word processing. I made the transition to writing on a keyboard and never looked back.

There are, however, some areas where I have intentionally hung onto vestiges of the past.

In a world where it seems that we’re constantly glued to screens, I still prefer a physical, paper calendar that gives me a visual overview of upcoming appointments and events. One hangs on our kitchen wall and I carry a smaller version in my purse.

I also use a simple paper planner where I write my daily to-do list. Putting pen to paper and actually writing down my intentions and placing them where I will see them multiple times throughout the day keeps me focused on accomplishing them and there’s something deeply satisfying about crossing off each item as it’s completed. Unlike digital alerts that disappear once they’re completed, a handwritten paper planner also provides a record of tasks completed and gives me a greater sense of accomplishment. Ultimately though, the best calendar or planner is the one that a person will use consistently and for me, that’s paper.

Then there’s books. When we travel, I absolutely love the convenience of the e-reader that my daughter gave me for Christmas a couple of years ago, but at home I still prefer to immerse myself in the pages of an actual, physical book.

What about you? Have you completely joined the digital world or are you like me, still a little bit old-school?

One word for 2026

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At the beginning of each new year, I like to choose one word to inspire or guide me throughout the year ahead as well as a scripture verse to go along with it. For the past two years, my word was hope, a word that continues to inspire me to hold fast to a God who is who He says He is and can do what He says He will do.

Although I often find myself pondering what my new word should be during the final days of December, I’ve known since late summer or early fall what my one word for 2026 would be.

Joy!

The New Oxford American Dictionary defines joy as “a feeling of great pleasure and happiness” but joy is much more than that. Joy is a choice. It’s a a deep, enduring contentment that isn’t dependent on circumstances.  It’s a deeper emotion than happiness and often comes from having a sense of purpose or from meaningful relationships with other people. Happiness is fleeting, but joy sees beauty even during trying times. My goal this year is to be intentional about looking for moments of joy each day.

There were many Bible verses that I could have chosen to go along with my one word for 2026, but I settled on Romans 15:13 because it so beautifully ties this year’s word with my last one.

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”

Have you chosen a word for 2026? I’d love to know what it is.