Faith

Mostly good news

/ edebock / 9 Comments

For the past couple of weeks, I’ve been riding a roller coaster that is known in the cancer world as scanxiety (scan + anxiety = scanxiety). 

scanxiety

Over the 9+ years since my stage 4 neuroendocrine cancer (NETS) was diagnosed, I’ve had more scans of various kinds than I want to count. The morning after each of my 12 radioactive PRRT treatments I had an octreotide scan to determine whether or not my tumours had grown or spread since the previous treatment. Any scanxiety that I experienced back then was short-lived because I met with the doctor immediately after the scan to review the results. Not so with the CT scans that I’ve had at 6 month, and more recently 9 month, intervals since completing my treatments in June of 2019. After each of those, I’ve had to wait about a week to find out the results. A week can feel like a very long time if you’re riding the scanxiety roller coaster, but because I’ve been doing so well for so long, that hasn’t usually been a big problem for me. 

This time was different. About three weeks prior to each scan, I have a whole battery of lab tests. The results of those are available to me online, so before I even had the CT scan, I knew that something might be amiss. Two markers that are of particular significance for NETS patients are chromogranin A in the blood and 5-HIAA (5-hydroxyindoleacetic acid) in the urine. Both had been gradually climbing and were now flagged as being higher than the normal range. That’s when the roller coaster ride began! 

360_F_141399140_3bi2tLZvTs4ek3a81nu6aSkeNc8pjsNd

In my lowest moments, I was sure that cancer was rapidly spreading throughout my body, but I did what I’ve done before in times like this. I called on a dozen godly women who share my belief in the power of prayer and asked them to pray. The ride was smoother after that. I still knew that something might be wrong, but I felt more at peace. I’d be a liar if I said that I wasn’t anxious at all, but I didn’t dwell in the low spots any longer. I also focused on one of my favourite passages from scripture, Philippians 4:6-7. 

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

By the time the doctor phoned today for our follow-up appointment (saving us a 5 hour round trip to the city) I truly did feel at peace about whatever it was that she was about to tell me. She gave me the good news first. Nothing of concern appeared on the scans. In fact, a tumour in a lymph node that had been there since diagnosis in 2013 has completely disappeared! That’s amazing news, especially considering how long it’s been since I had my last treatment. I don’t think anyone expected that the PRRT would still be resulting in shrinkage of tumours three and a half years later. The good news was somewhat overshadowed though by the fact that those elevated levels in my blood and urine still indicated that something is happening. So what happens next? 

I’m going to be going for a Gallium-68 dotatate PET scan sometime in January. This newer imaging technique is similar to the octreotide scans that I’ve had in the past, but much more sensitive. It will be able to pick up even the tiniest growths that might have been overlooked on the conventional CT scan. The results of that will dictate what the next steps will be, but for now I’m not going to worry about it. I’m determined not to climb back on that roller coaster. Instead, I’m going to focus on having an enjoyable Christmas!

The scan did reveal something totally unrelated to my cancer. Apparently, I now have a 1.3 cm Thornwaldt cyst lurking in my head! This is a rare, benign growth that develops in the nasopharynx, above the soft palate and behind the nose. If it continues to grow or becomes infected, it has the potential to start causing things like headaches, postnasal drip, blockage of the eustachian tubes, and/or halitosis. If that occurs, it can be drained or removed surgically. I’ll cross that bridge if and when I get there. For now, it’s just one more thing to add to my long list of weird and not so weird diagnoses! 

Here we go again!

/ edebock / 10 Comments

We were camping almost nine years ago when my doctor called to tell me that I had cancer. The news was completely unexpected and, in that moment, our lives changed forever. We were camping again this summer when hubby’s urologist called to tell him that he has two different kinds of prostate cancer, so here we go again!

A recent biopsy took 12 tissue samples from Richard’s prostate. Two of those, taken from one side of the heart shaped gland, showed a low-risk, non-aggressive cancer that is common in older men and usually requires nothing more than surveillance. Unfortunately, one sample from the other side proved to be a somewhat more aggressive form. According to the Gleason score, a scale used to evaluate the grade of prostate cancer cells, it’s a medium-grade cancer meaning that treatment ought to be considered.

There are several possible options. Surgical removal of the prostate, in spite of the fact that it has some negative effects, is thought to be the best choice for long-term survival, but the urologist warned us that the maximum age for a radical prostatectomy has always been a matter of debate and many specialists consider 70 to be the upper limit for performing this surgery. At 72, Richard is otherwise in excellent health and physical condition, so he has been referred to a specialist who does robotic prostate surgery, the most advanced treatment option available. We are praying that he’ll be approved and that the procedure will go ahead. If not, we’ll have to consider other options.

Over the past nine years, we have learned many things. The word cancer, itself, isn’t as scary as it once was. Though not to be taken lightly, it isn’t necessarily a death sentence either. We’ve learned to live life to the fullest and to consider every day a gift. We’ve learned the importance of living in and enjoying the moment. We’ve learned that a positive attitude makes the fight easier and adds to the quality of our days. We’ve learned not to worry about things that haven’t happened yet. As Matthew 34:6 says, “do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” We’ve learned to focus on the things that are important in life and to let go of things that drain us for no good purpose. We’ve learned that there can be joy in the midst of challenging times. These are all lessons that we’ll take with us as we embark on this next journey.

Ultimately, we know that we have a God who walks this pathway with us and promises to take care of us. “Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10

imagesAs always, the blog will be about more than cancer, but from time to time I will be using it to share progress reports. The only difference from the past will be that now I’ll be reporting on both of us!

Perspectives on growing older

/ edebock / 7 Comments

Earlier this month, Sue Burpee, writer of High Heels in the Wilderness, wrote a very thought provoking post about the feelings of sadness and dissatisfaction that she was experiencing as she contemplated the realities of getting older (she’s 66). It obviously resonated with many women as it generated a vast number of heartfelt comments. In fact, it struck such a chord with Frances, over at Materfamilias Writes, that she responded with this post on her blog. Again, the comment section exploded with women in their 60s, 70s, and beyond expressing feelings of worry and despair as they faced their own mortality. Many wrote of feeling that time was running out and one of Sue’s readers likened it to falling into an abyss. Some wrote of physical decline or the fear of losing their spouse. Others were already alone. Some mentioned lack of purpose, having nothing good to look forward to, or feeling invisible to those around them. There was also an acknowledgement by many that the pandemic had robbed them of valuable time that they’d never get back.

I haven’t been able to stop thinking about those two posts and the comments that they generated. I keep asking myself why I don’t share the feelings that so many women expressed so poignantly. I do lament time lost to the pandemic, but I’m just three months short of 70 and rather than feeling down about it, I’m excited! I’m already thinking about how I want to celebrate that milestone. But why? Why don’t I feel the way they do?

I think that there are three reasons.

The first was a major shift in perspective that happened almost ten years ago. I’ve written before about the fact that I spent the whole year that I was 59 fretting about turning 60. It sounded so old! How had I got there so quickly? Then came 60 and it wasn’t so bad after all, but before I turned 61, I was diagnosed with cancer and within a year, a second unrelated one. If you’ve been following my blog for very long, you know that the past decade has brought a number of other diagnoses as well as surgeries, treatments, and medications. Now, still with one incurable cancer, but stable and feeling 100%, I’ve learned that every day is a gift. Nine years ago, I had no reason to think that I would make it to 70. Now it feels like a victory!

The second reason that I feel optimistic about the future is the faith that sustained me through all the ups and downs of the past decade and for many years before that. I, who in my childhood and young adult years had an abnormal fear of death, of disappearing into nothingness and no longer existing, found peace with that when I finally cried out to God in desperation and asked Him to remove my fear. That was forty years ago and to this point, it has never returned. I don’t pretend to know what life beyond the grave will be like, but I firmly believe that it does go on and that those of us who have a personal relationship with the Creator will continue in His presence. That’s all I really need to know. That may sound naive or foolish to those who don’t share my faith, but that’s not surprising. Scripture says that that will be so. “For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.” 1 Corinthians 1:18

Perhaps the main reason that I’m not burdened by the dark thoughts and feelings that seem to plague so many of my fellow seniors is that my life has purpose. Hubby and I fairly recently gave up a volunteer position that was beginning to become too physically taxing, but as my father always said, there’s no end to the things that you can do in retirement as long as you don’t need to be paid. I’ve edited almost 750 Kiva loans since I took on that role early last year. When I was younger, I led a ladies Bible study for more than twenty years. I didn’t expect to find myself doing that again in my late 60s, but I just wrapped up my second year back in that role and I look forward to continuing in the fall. In addition, I have a leadership position with an online women’s ministry and I’ve just been accepted into another role that will put my writing skills to good use. Nine years ago when I was looking death in the face, I certainly didn’t anticipate new beginnings at age 70! Clearly God isn’t finished with me yet!

48332799_595882320848486_1466678194248613888_n

image

I’m a Christian feminist

/ edebock / 2 Comments

I’m a Christian feminist. Yes, there is such a thing and no, that f word isn’t an obscenity.

The label may not be a familiar one, but Christian feminism predates well known secular feminists and activists including Simone de Beauvoir, Betty Friedan, and Gloria Steinem. There is, in fact, a long history of Christian women devoting themselves to fighting for the status of women, and the right of women to vote, to own property, and to defend themselves in a court of law against rape and domestic abuse. Women like Nellie McClung who, based on her understanding of God’s intention for creation, together with Emily Murphy, Henrietta Muir Edwards, Irene Parlby and Louise McKinney, launched a legal challenge that would pave the way for women to be declared “persons” under law and to participate equally in all aspects of life in Canada. Thankfully, theirs is a rich tradition of pro-life feminism that continues today.

Within the Christian church, there are two schools of thought regarding the roles of men and women. Complementarians believe that men and women, though equal in worth, are meant to have distinctly different roles. Egalitarians, while agreeing that men and women are equal in worth, believe there should be no gender restrictions on what roles they can fulfill. Marriage and ministry are the primary points of disagreement between the two viewpoints.

When we first married, I was a baby Christian. I tried to be the submissive wife that my husband had been taught was his due simply because he was born with a Y chromosome and an extra appendage. It didn’t work. He wasn’t a good leader and, truth be told, I wasn’t a good follower. All the while, I wondered why God would want me to submit to a sinful man. Then I realized that He didn’t. We were meant to be partners, submitting to one another (Ephesians 5:21) with God as the head of our household.

But what about Ephesians 5:22-24 and Colossians 3:18, verses that exhort wives to submit to their husbands? We can’t simply ignore portions of scripture because they make us uncomfortable or dismiss the parts we don’t like. Sometimes we have to grapple with scripture. We have to understand the context and the time in which the words were written. We have to dig deep and seek to understand the principles being taught and then figure out how to apply them in our time and place.

“It’s dangerous to cherry-pick a few stand-alone verses, particularly when they are used as a weapon to silence and intimidate, effectively benching half the church… We can’t read letters written to specific people with specific situations in mind in a specific context and then apply them, broad-brush, to the whole of humanity or the church or even our own small selves.”  Sarah Bessey, Jesus Feminist

These select verses telling wives to submit to their husbands line up with the Greco-Roman household codes that were part of Pax Romana law at the time and in the place that the apostle Paul was writing his epistles. They were the law of the land at that time and, as in Romans 13:1-2, Paul is telling his readers that “everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities.”

Interestingly, just four verses after Colossians 3:18 instructs women to submit to their husbands, verse 22 tells slaves to obey their earthly masters. While wives must submit is a core teaching in most Christian churches today, no one takes that verse literally and suggests that slavery is actually a godly practice. I jokingly respond that if I have to submit to my husband, I also want my slave!

In addition to slavery, which is never actually prohibited in the Bible, the church has rightfully done away with many Biblical practices including polygamy, the buying and selling of daughters, stoning, the requirement that baby boys be circumcised, and many other ancient practices that were once culturally acceptable. Gender inequality is just one more example of an injustice that we need to let go of.

Nowhere in the Bible does it suggest that any of the gifts of the Spirt, which include teaching, pastoring, prophecy, evangelism and leadership (Romans 12, Ephesians 4, 1 Corinthians 12), are gender specific and yet many Christian churches today exclude women from these roles. Sadly, in spite of the fact that there are numerous examples of women leading, teaching, ministering, and prophesying in scripture, patriarchy is alive and well in many churches today. This is clearly contrary to Acts 2:18 which says “Even on my servants, both men and women, I will pour out my Spirit in those days, and they will prophesy.” Paul himself says in Galatians 3:28 “There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”

I served on the board of our previous church for seven years, but in our present church I would not be allowed to because I’m a woman. I’m okay with me not being on the board, but I’m not okay with half the church being denied full opportunity to use their God-given gifts simply by virtue of being female and I’m not okay with a church board not having the benefit of the female perspective. The very first chapter of the very first book of the Bible makes it abundantly clear that God created male and female in His image and gave THEM dominion over all that He had made.

According to Genesis, God did create Adam first, but He also said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” The original word translated in English Bibles as helper or helpmeet is ezer, a word used twenty-one times in the Old Testament: twice in Genesis for the woman, three times for nations that Israel appealed to for military aid, and sixteen times for God Himself as Israel’s helper! God created His daughters to be ezers, strong and resourceful partners for His sons. He also makes it clear that in relationship, they are to become one. That’s partnership, not patriarchy! When a woman is held back, hushed up, minimized or lessened in any way, she is not free to walk in the fullness that God intended for her as His image bearer, His ezer.

“When half the church holds back – whether by choice or because we have no choice – everybody loses and our mission suffers setbacks.” Carolyn Custis James, Half the Church

So what do I make of 1 Corinthians 14:35 which says “If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church.”? Again, if we were to delve into the historical context for this verse, we would find that it was written in direct response to disruptions that were occurring in the Corinthian church at that time. The underlying principle is not that women 2000 years later should be forbidden from speaking in church, but that a church service ought to be orderly, not chaotic, a topic that Paul actually begins to address at the beginning of chapter 11.

And what about 1 Timothy 2:12 “I do not permit a woman to teach or have authority over a man; she must be silent.”? Again, Paul’s restriction was given in the context of a personal letter to Timothy giving advice about a specific issue concerning false teaching that had arisen in the church at Ephesus. There is no suggestion that he was establishing church policy for all time. Neither is there any mention of this in the rest of Paul’s writings or elsewhere in the Bible. As has already been mentioned, there are clear examples elsewhere in scripture of women teaching, prophesying, and taking leadership roles.

So why do I, a Christian feminist, stay in a male-dominated church? First of all, there aren’t a lot of options in our small community. Fortunately, however, there are ways that I can use my spiritual gifts of teaching and faith within the confines of a patriarchal setting and I’ve always been comfortable worshipping with genuine believers who don’t see eye to eye with me on all matters. I also believe that God has placed me behind enemy lines, so to speak, for a reason. Though it likely won’t happen in my lifetime, I can pray for change and speak for justice for the women of the future. I may not be allowed to preach from the pulpit, which I don’t feel called to do anyway, but I can speak the truth, as I know it, when opportunity presents itself and I can certainly preach it from my keyboard!

For further reading on this topic, I highly recommend:

  1. Half the Church: Recapturing God’s Global Vision for Women, Carolyn Custis James
  2. Jesus Feminist: An Invitation to Revisit the Bible’s View of Women, Sarah Bessey
  3. The Making of Biblical Womanhood: How the Subjugation of Women Became Gospel Truth, Beth Allison Barr
  4. A Year of Biblical Womanhood, Rachel Held Evans

This is, of course, a controversial topic. I invite dialogue in the comment section, but I also insist that it remain a safe and respectful place for the expression of differing viewpoints and experiences.

Must haves for 2022

/ edebock / 4 Comments

LogoThe internet is filled with lists of fashion items that every well dressed woman “must have” in her closet. Though I have neither, most agree that we should have at least one white button up shirt and a little black dress. Today, however, for my first fashion post of the new year, I want us to look at a completely different list found in Colossians 3:12-14.

“Clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience… and over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”

Whether you work from home in your pjs, wear a uniform each day, dress to impress in a corporate boardroom, or don PPE to care for the sick and dying, you won’t go wrong if you clothe yourselves in these six items.

When the young mother in front of you holds up the line in the grocery store while she fumbles in her purse for her wallet and tries to hush her crying toddler, practice patience. Have compassion for the cashier and offer her a word of kindness when it’s finally your turn at the till. When a friend, overwhelmed by the world that we live in today, posts another negative and poorly informed tirade on Facebook, be gentle with your response. When someone at work offers constructive criticism, accept it with humility and consider whether or not they might be right. Show love by listening to another’s story and acknowledging their struggles or by doing something unexpected for someone else without expecting anything in return.

Even if your smile is hidden behind a mask, your beauty will shine through for all to see when you clothe yourself in compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, and love.

colossians-312-14

One Word for 2022

/ edebock / 1 Comment

For the past few years I’ve chosen one word to inspire or guide me in the new year as well as a scripture verse to go along with it. There’s actually a whole #OneWord365 movement on the internet urging members to choose a word to focus on every day, all year long; a word that sums up who they want to be or how they want to live.

Much has been said over the past 22 months about how the Covid-19 crisis has robbed us of our freedom. Thinking about that led me to my word for 2022.

Freedom

Interestingly, of the 165 people worldwide who have registered their One Word for 2022 online so far, I’m the only one who chose freedom! I’m a tribe of one!

The Bible verse that I chose to go with this year’s word is a good transition from last year when my word was TRUTH.

“You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:32

So what is freedom? Oxford Languages defines it this way:

  1. the power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants without hindrance or restraint
  2. absence of subjection to foreign domination or despotic government
  3. the state of not being imprisoned or enslaved

There are really two kinds of freedom, freedom to and freedom from. There is no doubt that the Covid-19 pandemic has, at least temporarily, curtailed our freedom to travel, to gather in large groups, to celebrate special moments with those we love, to enjoy many of the activities that we once took for granted, and so on. Though it’s difficult to be optimistic with the Omicron variant running rampant, I do hold out hope that some of these freedoms might be returned to us before this new year comes to an end.

As I settled on freedom as my One Word for this year, however, it was actually freedom from that was at the forefront of my mind. While I’m enormously thankful that we, in the western world, are for the most part free from the kinds of oppression that are common elsewhere, I was thinking on a more personal level. For many years, I suffered from what has been identified as betrayal trauma. As a result, I clung to a root of bitterness that gave me a sense of stability. I was afraid that if I let go and let myself trust again, I would be completely blown away and destroyed. Several months ago, as God began to gently loosen my grip on that root of bitterness, I pictured it this way…

IMG_3461

For some of us, art can be a creative and healthy way to deal with trauma. My daughter, whose own journey toward freedom included an art therapy course, illustrated the words of American author and activist, Glennon Doyle, in this beautiful expression.

Melaina's art journaling - freedom 2

Regardless of how confined we are by the present health restrictions or those yet to come, I want to live 2022 in the fullness of the freedom from that I have finally found! I would be remiss, however, if I didn’t also point out that true freedom is found by surrendering our lives to the almighty Creator of the universe. Galatians 5:1 tells us, “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” and 2 Corinthians 3:17 says, “Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.”

Have you ever chosen a word to inspire or guide you in a new year? What would your one word for 2022 be?

The miracle of adoption

/ edebock / 4 Comments

Eight years ago, a beautiful discussion took place between our daughter and our then 5-year-old grandson:

Drew: Mommy, what is adoption?
Melaina: Adoption is when a baby grows in one mommy’s tummy but she can’t take care of him so another mommy and daddy adopt the baby and become his new mommy and daddy. Uncle Nate is adopted. He grew in a different mommy’s tummy but then we adopted him.
Drew: So Gram and Grandpa still got to be his mommy and daddy?
Melaina: Yes!
Drew: Wow! That is like a miracle!

Yes, Drew, yes it is! And now, many years later, Uncle Nate is himself the father of two adopted children!

When this conversation showed up as one of my Facebook memories recently, I was reminded of the many “miracles” in our extended family, but my mind also went to Romans 8:14-15a

“So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s Spirit when he adopted you as his own children.” (NLT)

and Ephesians 1:5

“God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure.” (NLT)

Wow! Nate’s adoption story is an amazing one, but is there anything more amazing than being adopted into the eternal family of the Creator of heaven and earth? How can that be?

When we brought Nate home at three days old, it wasn’t a temporary or part time commitment. We weren’t just babysitting. It was for life. He was 100% ours! That’s how it is with God too. He wants 100% of your life for all time. That’s why He sent His Son to die to take the punishment for our sins, so that by accepting that amazing gift and surrendering our lives to Him, we would receive His Spirit and be adopted as His children.

maxresdefault

With Christmas time fast approaching, that’s really something to think about, isn’t it?

He completes me

/ edebock / 2 Comments

Have you ever thought about what you’d like to be able to tell your much younger self? If I could, I’d tell the naive young woman that I once was that the romantic notion that a woman needs a man to complete her is absolute balderdash!

After 45 years of marriage, does my husband complete me? No! Absolutely not. He has a different skill set than I do and different spiritual gifts, so we are better together than individually, but he does not complete me nor I him. In many ways he complements me, but he cannot possibly meet all of my emotional and spiritual needs. There is no man on this planet who could do that and to expect otherwise is to put a load on another’s shoulders that there’s no way they can carry. I wish I’d known that sooner. 

In the 1996 romantic comedy/sports drama of the same name, Jerry Maguire uses the line, “You complete me” when trying to win back his love interest, but in the real world a partner or spouse should not define who you are. While “I love you” speaks of genuine affection, “You complete me” reeks of dependency, of needing another person to fill a gap, solve a problem, or heal a wound.  

So who completes me? Am I complete in and of myself? In some ways yes, but not entirely. 

87db8ae067745f5e4b5774e410efdfed

I am not a theologian or even a Bible scholar, but I do know that only God, the one who created me and knows me more intimately than I even know myself, can truly complete me. 

So what does complete mean? In this context, the dictionary defines it as to make something whole or perfect. 

Does that mean that I think I’m perfect because I’ve surrendered my life to Christ? Absolutely not! That will never happen this side of heaven, but God has imputed His perfection, His righteousness to me. That means that when He looks at me, He sees Christ’s perfection in me, not my own human imperfection. His estimation of me is equal to His estimation of His Son! 

Being completed by Christ means even more than this though. It means that because I am united with Him, I can lean on His absolute sufficiency. Hard as he might try, my husband can never be my ultimate source of peace, joy, or security. He is human. He will fail me. If I look only to him for meaning, significance, and value, I will be disappointed. No, these are the things I gain when I allow Christ to complete me. 

tumblr_p3r842I7HJ1tjj2sjo1_1280

These are things I would like to tell my younger self. 

Thoughts on turning 69

/ edebock / 10 Comments

It seems that every woman has a birthday she dreads; an age that she has trouble accepting. For me, that age was 60. The whole time I was 59, I dreaded turning 60. It was such a big number and sounded so old, but then the day came and nothing really changed. It was just another day, another new beginning, and I’d wasted an entire year worrying about it!

Now, nine more years have passed and tomorrow I turn 69! My 60s have not been easy. They brought three different cancer diagnoses, relationship trauma, the death of both my parents, and now a worldwide pandemic, but through it all, I learned endurance, perseverance, and resilience. I also learned to live one day at a time.

Learning not to count on the future, but to see every day as a gift and a blessing, was a very valuable lesson. When I was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer shortly before my 61st birthday, I really didn’t expect that I’d still be alive today. Four years later, I threw myself a “still alive at 65” birthday party and now, just one year short of 70, I’m still here and still going strong!

One thing I know that I won’t be doing when I’m 69 is wasting time worrying about turning 70. Instead, as long as God gives me life, I’m going to be busy living it to the fullest and doing my best to accomplish whatever it is that He is keeping me here to do!

148512088-gold-number-69-isolated-on-white-background

Blogging woes and cancer news

/ edebock / 14 Comments

My beloved MacBook Air is getting old; old enough that I’m not able to update to a newer browser. Recently, whenever I opened WordPress to check my stats or work on a post, I received a message telling me that I was using an unsupported browser. Until earlier this week, however, I was able to click through to the appropriate page and work as usual. Then came the fateful day when all that I could open was a blank page with the WordPress logo in the centre!

As I usually do when something goes wrong in my blogging world, I fired off a cry for help to WordPress support and hoped for the best. They’ve never let me down yet, but while I wait to find out what they can or can’t do for me, I’m typing this on my husband’s computer. Not easy! Mine is a Mac, but his is not. The keyboard is a different size and my fingers don’t know what to do. Things jump around when I’m not expecting them to and then there’s the issue of all my photos being on my computer and not knowing how to transfer them to his. With practice, I’m sure these things will get easier, but this is, at best, a very temporary solution! I’m hoping that I don’t have to invest in a new computer right now as mine still does everything else I want it to do, but I have to be able to blog!   

Now, for the other news… 

In mid August, I went through a series of tests and scans, as I do every six months, to determine whether or not there were any changes to my cancers. When the results became available online, I was concerned about a spike in one marker that is particularly significant to neuroendocrine cancer (NETS). Not only had the level increased dramatically, but it was now slightly above the normal range. Knowing that I had to wait several weeks to see the doctor for an explanation, my response was similar to when WordPress quit working. I called for support. I sent out a cry for help to eight godly women asking each of them to pray, not only that my cancer had not grown or spread, but also that I wouldn’t be anxious as I waited for answers. Almost immediately, an unnatural peace descended on me and I was able to go on without undue stress or anxiety. 

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”  Philippians 4:6-7

And now for the really good news… my cancer continues to be stable and the doctor has no concerns! Though the spike in that one marker looked concerning to me, she assured me that it would have to be much higher before it was anything to worry about. Praise the Lord!