Author: edebock

Book of the Month – September 2023

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I Am a Bacha Posh

Ukmina Manoori

9781629146812-usThe subtitle of this short, but intriguing memoir, My Life as a Woman Living as a Man in Afghanistan, tells much about the content of the book, but it could also be misleading to those of us living in western cultures. This is not a book about living a trans experience.

“You will be a son, my daughter.” With these stunning words young Ukmina learned that she was to spend the remainder of her childhood as a boy. This had nothing to do with gender confusion on her part. In Afghanistan’s heavily patriarchal, male-dominated society, it is customary for some families, especially those without sons, to choose a daughter to live, dress and behave as a boy, even taking on a boy’s name. These children are known as bacha posh which means “dressed up as a boy” in the Persian dialect, Dari.

Families have various reasons for making this choice and there are no statistics on how many families have daughters living as bacha posh. In most cases, due to the somewhat secretive nature of the practice, only the family, close friends, and necessary health and education officials know the bacha posh’s biological sex.

As a bacha posh, a girl has all the freedoms denied to her as a member of the female sex. Instead of staying at home cooking and cleaning, she can move about freely in public, attending school, running errands, playing sports, and sometimes finding work to help the family make ends meet.

Once a bacha posh reaches puberty, however, she is expected to revert to traditional female roles putting on the veil, staying at home unless accompanied by a male, and preparing for an early marriage. What makes Ukmina’s story unique is that when that time came, she refused. Confronting societal and family pressure, she continued to live as a man, not because of gender dysphoria, but because she doesn’t want to give up the the rights and privileges of a male in Afghan society.

Ukmina’s choice paved the way for an extraordinary destiny. She acted as a scout for the resistance when the Soviet Union invaded Afghanistan and ultimately commanded the respect of everyone she encountered. There did come a period of time when she lived in isolation and fear of the Taliban and even of some of her fellow villagers who didn’t agree with her life choices. Eventually, however, she entered politics and as an elected member of her provincial council, fights tirelessly to improve women’s rights.

Rather than telling you any more of her story, I’m simply going to share three quotations that I think wrap up Ukmina’s thoughts about her experience and the life of women in Afghanistan.

“Living in men’s clothing has given me a certain freedom. A life as a woman in Afghanistan is a life of destruction.”

“I say to myself that I have sacrificed nothing. I have done what I had to do. I became what I was. I found my destiny. And there is nothing I lack.”

“I also told myself that women were beautiful creatures of God. Men were cruel. I often asked Allah: “Give me the power of men and the kindness of women.””

If a novel about bacha posh would be more to your liking, I would highly recommend The Pearl That Broke Its Shell by Nadia Hashimi.

Changing seasons

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Logo by SamThe seasonal closet switch that I mentioned last week actually happened this week. Almost. I did leave a few pairs of summer pants in the closet in case we get some more warm days, but the shorts have all been put away. Most of my summer tops are now in storage too, although I do leave a few sleeveless tops in my closet year round as I’ll wear them under jackets and sweaters during the colder months.

These twice a year seasonal switchovers are an excellent time to evaluate and decide what to keep and what to get rid of. As I put the new season’s clothes into the closet, I turn all the hangers around. Then, when I wear an item, I turn its hanger back the right way. At the end of the season, if an item is still hanging backwards, it’s a clear signal that I need to consider whether or not to keep it. This year there were several spring/summer items that I hadn’t worn, but I didn’t feel ready to let go of some of them yet, so I separated them from the others in storage. I’ll reevaluate in the spring and decide then whether to keep them for another season or not. I did get rid of a few things though. Two pairs of capris that were too worn out to keep or to pass on to anyone else went out with yesterday’s garbage and a few other pieces are destined for the second-hand store. Bringing the new season’s clothes back into circulation almost feels like having something new to wear. There were even a few pieces in my fall/winter wardrobe that I’d forgotten all about over the summer!

But how do we dress for this “wear a sweater in the morning and regret it in the afternoon” shoulder season without constantly changing clothes? After all, the temperature can be barely above freezing in the morning, above 20ºC (68ºF) in the afternoon, and chilly again as soon as the sun starts to go down.

As always, layering is the key.

In this example, my base layer consists of a sleeveless top and a pair of mid weight chinos. In the morning, I added warm socks, sneakers, and a cardigan. In the afternoon, I shed the socks and sweater, rolled up the cuffs of my pants, and switched out the sneakers for a comfortable pair of flats.

Everything I’m wearing in these photos has been in my wardrobe for at least three years and has appeared on the blog before except the sleeveless top which is new to me. It was part of the cabi Fall 2018 collection. I have no idea where it’s been hiding for the past five years, but when I found it in our local thrift store recently, it looked like it had never been worn. It originally sold for $99 CAD and I bought it for $2.50! Is it any wonder that I love thrift store shopping?

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And, totally off the topic of today’s post, you may remember that on May 1st, I challenged myself to walk and/or hike 350 kilometres by the end of October. I’m excited to report that I crossed the imaginary finish line yesterday afternoon, a full month early!

Wear what makes you feel good

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Logo by SamTomorrow is officially the first day of fall. Today’s post was supposed to be about my seasonal closet switch from spring/summer to fall/winter, but life happened and the transition didn’t. Actually, I had a choice between spending time in my closet or packing the trailer for one last camping trip and you can probably guess which one I chose!

I’ve been trying hard to hang onto summer for as long as I can, but hubby has been raking leaves all week. Mornings are crisp and evenings chilly. Harvest is well underway all around us and geese are flying overhead. Whether I like it or not, they’re heading south! Though my summer clothes are still in the closet, the days of wearing shorts, sandals, and sleeveless tops are over and I’m reaching for warmer things.

As much as I try to resist the coming of winter, there are things that I’m looking forward to wearing again, especially cozy sweaters and boots. One pair of boots in particular! So, the transition will happen this coming week, or at least that’s my plan. We all know that plans are flexible though, especially in retirement!

In the meantime, I’ll leave you with this thought.

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Regardless of what season it is where you are, wear what makes you feel good!

Another Miquelon September

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We spent several days this week camping at Miquelon Lake Provincial Park, less than an hour and a half from home. We’ve camped there several times in the past, always in September.

It’s definitely not the lake that keeps us going back. Shallow, saline, and shrinking rapidly, it’s a small fraction of the size that it was a century ago. In fact, we’ve seen the water level drop significantly over the past few years. No, it’s the well-maintained hiking trails that keep us returning to Miquelon.. 

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The “knob and kettle” terrain consists of hummocky mounds (the knobs) and water-filled depressions (the kettles). Hiking trails wind up and down, around and between the ponds and at this time of year, colourful foliage adds to park’s natural beauty. Here in Alberta, we don’t get the wide variety of fall colours that are found in eastern Canada, but Miquelon seems to be an exception! Is it any wonder that we love to go there in September?  

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Over the past few days, we hiked a total of 26.5 kilometres (16.5 miles). As we made our way up and down the “knobs”, we definitely felt muscles that don’t come into play as much when we walk the level ground around home! Thankfully, our legs are in pretty good shape though. With just over 6 weeks to go, I’m only 32 km short of my goal of walking and/or hiking 350 km between May 1 and Oct 31! 

With our bear bell ringing, we didn’t see any of the larger wildlife, including deer, moose and elk, that live within the park, but there was clear evidence of their presence along the trails. Plenty of fresh hoof prints and droppings, including bear scat, told us that they weren’t too far off. We did see rabbits, squirrels, one garter snake, several grouse, and numerous other birds including an abundance of waterfowl. It was also clear that industrious beaver have been hard at work. 

The campground was very quiet during the week, but we were surprised to see how many rigs pulled in on Friday. Obviously, we aren’t the only ones who enjoy fall camping! 

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There were even a few hardy souls sleeping in tents. It must have been pretty chilly with nighttime temperatures dipping close to 0ºC (32ºF). We were toasty warm in our trailer bed though, except for the one night when the propane ran out and the furnace stopped running! Thankfully, fixing that problem was as simple as switching over to the second propane tank. 

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We’re hoping to fit in one more short camping trip before winter and I have no doubt that we’ll be back to Miquelon again another September. 

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The dark side of sequins and synthetics

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Logo by SamI’ve never been one to wear sequins or glitter. They’re a bit too flashy for me, but I was alarmed when I recently read how devastating they are for the environment. Made of plastic with a shiny metallic coating, they’re non-biodegradable and will sit in the landfill for hundreds of years, possibly shedding harmful micro plastics into the soil.

As often happens, reading that fact led me down a number of other rabbit trails. I discovered that ancient sequins, made of gold, have been unearthed in archeological sites from Pakistan to Egypt including heaps of them scattered in King Tut’s tomb and sewn in flower shapes on his ceremonial robe. I also learned about modern day attempts to produce sequins that are biodegradable. So far, however, those haven’t been able to withstand heat and moisture making them unsuitable for use on clothing. Perhaps someday though.

All of this led me to wonder about the biodegradability of the kinds of fabric that we commonly wear. Here’s what I learned about how long it takes for different fibres to decompose:

Cotton:  1 week to 5 months. Denim, which is a much hardier cotton, takes 10 to 12 months.

Linen:  as little as 2 weeks

Hemp:  2 weeks

Wool:  3 to 4 months

Bamboo:  4 to 6 months

Silk:  1 to 4 years

Nylon:  30 to 40 years

Polyester:  20 to 200 years

Spandex:  up to 200 years

Acrylic:  200 years

Clearly, natural fabrics are better for the environment. Not only do they decompose much more quickly, but they also require much less processing to turn them into fabric in the first place. Did you know that they’re also better for you? Natural fibres are soft, strong, breathable, and don’t irritate sensitive skin.

So, am I planning to go all-natural and stop wearing synthetic fabrics? Probably not. That would be pretty difficult to do, but as one who wants to shop ethically, one thing I will continue to do is to shop second-hand and keep those synthetic fabrics out of the landfill longer. And I probably won’t be wearing any sequins!

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Fall fashion colours 2023

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Logo by SamWe are fortunate to live far from the wildfires that have devastated vast areas to the north and west of us this summer, but smoke travels amazing distances. As I peered through the pall of smoke that hung over us for most of the past week, I saw leaves beginning to turn colour. Yes, fall is here whether I like to admit it or not!

Coloured leaves are beautiful, but it’s the colour trends for fall/winter 2023 fashion that are on my mind this week. Bold, fiery reds are definitely big this year. While I vividly remember both a red sweater and a red dress that I loved and wore a lot many years ago, the only red in my wardrobe at present is the coat that I found in a local thrift store last fall. That’s something I definitely want to correct this season! 

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I’ve sometimes seen red referred to as a universal colour, a colour that looks good on just about everyone, but although there is a red for everyone, not every red looks good on every person. Those, like myself, with warm skin tones should choose brighter orange-based reds, while those with cool skin tones look better wearing darker blue-based reds. If wearing red isn’t your cup of tea, you might want to add just a pop of it with an accessory or two.

Another colour that is on-trend for fall is brown. Think caramel, cinnamon, chocolate! Yum! Brown has always been a favourite wardrobe basic of mine, so I’ll definitely be making good use of the pieces that I already own. Other neutrals that will be big this fall are grey and cream, bone, or winter white. 

Two popular shades of blue this season are icy blue and cobalt. 

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Yellow, especially bright yellow, is another colour that’s on-trend for the new season. With the influence of the Barbie movie carrying on into fall this year, pink will also continue to be popular.

Will you be adding any of these colours to your fall/winter wardrobe? What are your favourite colours to wear? 

Book of the month – August 2023

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What the Wind Knows

Amy Harmon

wtwk-ebookx300_origI was absolutely captivated by this story! I could hardly put it down and when I had no choice, I couldn’t get it out of my mind. I didn’t want it to end and yet I had to keep reading to find out what happened. Clearly, nothing was going to get done around here until I finished it! 

In What the Wind Knows, Amy Harmon seamlessly blends elements of three genres – time travel, romance, and historical fiction – into one compelling and emotional read. 

In 2001, New York novelist, Anne Gallagher, grieving the death of her beloved grandfather, Eoin, travels to Ireland to carry out his request that she scatter his ashes on Lough Gill, the lake overlooked by his childhood home. There, she is mysteriously transported back in time to 1921, a time when Ireland was embroiled in a violent struggle for independence. Mistaken for her own great grandmother, a revolutionary who was missing and presumed dead, she adopts her identity, and is reunited with her grandfather as a 6-year-old boy. She also falls in love with his guardian. I don’t want to tell you too much of the story, but I couldn’t help wondering, would Anne live out the rest of her life in the past or would she, at some point, return to the life she’d left behind. I will say that I found the ending very satisfying. 

Amy Harmon is a gifted writer who makes the transition in time seamless and believable. She combines the magical and the real and integrates fictional characters and story with historical people, events, and places in a way that brings them to life. 

Not your typical time travel story and much more than a mushy romance, What the Wind Knows is a beautiful story of love that spans generations and time. Each chapter is introduced with a snippet of poetry by famous Irish poet, William Butler Yeats, who was a contemporary of the historical characters. Well researched and cleverly told, the novel introduced me to a period of political unrest in Ireland that I knew very little about and for those of us who love fashion, there’s even a bit of that. After all, Anne shows up in 1921 in clothing that is entirely inappropriate for the era and has to go shopping for a new wardrobe! 

I could go on and on, but suffice to say that I found this book absolutely mesmerizing and I’ll definitely be looking for more of Amy Harmon’s novels to read. 

There will be no Fashion Friday post this week. Camping with grandchildren took precedence!

My 10 year cancerversary

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Do you remember where you were and what you were doing exactly ten years ago today? I do. The day is etched in my memory in vivid detail. That was the day I was told that I had cancer in my colon and that it had already spread to my liver! There was no hope or expectation then that I’d be writing about that day ten years later!

It wasn’t until a couple of weeks later that we learned that what I actually had (and still have) is neuroendocrine cancer (NETS) which, though incurable, usually progresses slowly. That gave us a glimmer of hope, but on one of our earliest clinic visits, we read that the average life expectancy for a neuroendocrine cancer patient was five years following diagnosis. I now know that that information was probably already outdated. There are members of my online patient groups who have been living with this disease for 10, 15, even 20 years or more. Others, however, have not fared as well, so I’ve learned to consider every day a gift.

On a day like today, I could dwell on the fact that over the past ten years I’ve had two major surgeries, been exposed to an enormous amount of radiation, had dozens of tests and scans of various kinds, lived in 28 day increments between injections, had 128 of those “butt darts”, and on and on. Or, I could count my blessings; focusing instead on the things that I’ve been able to do and enjoy over the past ten years.

Since my initial diagnosis, we’ve seen our family grow by one daughter-in-law and four grandchildren! In spite of the worldwide pandemic that put a damper on travel for a time, we’ve holidayed in Nova Scotia, BC, and the Yukon, and traveled to Israel, Europe (Portugal, Italy, France, Belgium, and the Netherlands), and Mexico four times. We purchased a kayak and have spent many hours paddling quiet lakes and rivers. Over the past ten years, we’ve spent 240 nights in our trailer and I’ve played over 350 rounds of golf. We’ve tried new things like snowshoeing and joined a seniors’ bowling league. I’ve edited 1346 microloan descriptions for Kiva and joined a prison letter writing ministry. I’ve had the opportunity to teach two women to read and tutored an ESL student. And again, the list goes on!

Life is good! Yes, I have cancer. Yes, some of my tumours have grown a bit recently, but I still feel 100%. I don’t know what the future holds, but neither does anyone else. I have an army of people who pray for me and we know who holds my future. I’ll just focus on today!

So what am I doing to celebrate this momentous occasion? I suppose I could have planned something special, something big, but I’ve been so busy just living life that this one crept up on me! I have absolutely nothing planned, but that’s okay. I’m alive and living life to the fullest and that’s all that really matters!

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Styling a vintage tapestry jacket

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Screenshot 2023-08-24 at 5.01.09 PMI’m never ready for summer to end, but fall is definitely in the air! One thing that always makes the seasonal transition easier to bear is looking forward to wearing some of my fall and winter favourites that have been in storage for the past few months. Having something new (or new to me) to wear also adds excitement. After all, I’m sure we all remember the feeling of having something new to wear on the first day of school and, since I spent my entire career in the classroom, I had a lot of those first days!

Today I’m going to share a new for fall item that has been hanging in my closet since an early summer trip to a thrift store with my daughter. I haven’t actually worn it anywhere yet, but with the weather changing, I pulled it out earlier this week and started shopping my closet for ways to wear it.

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If you’re old enough, you probably remember the tapestry vests and jackets that were popular back in the 90s. I had a couple of the vests and now that I see vests coming back into vogue, I kind of wish that I’d kept them, but I never had a tapestry jacket.

Who cares that I’m 30 years late to the party; I love it and I’m very much looking forward to wearing it this fall! Clothing and accessories are considered vintage once they’re at least 20 years old, and in 2023 it seems that vintage fashion is gaining in popularity everywhere. Vintage is a great way to express individuality and it’s so much better for the planet than buying new. Cost can vary a lot. Prices for jackets similar to mine range from $30 CAD to over $160 on Etsy. I was fortunate to find mine in a second-hand store for $14.50. 

The key to wearing vintage and not looking like you’re wearing a costume is to add one vintage piece to an otherwise contemporary outfit as I’ve done in today’s photos. Another idea is to look for vintage pieces in classic styles. My vintage jacket in a different fabric would fit right in with today’s looks.

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So, how did I put today’s looks together. Since the jacket is a multi-coloured, stand-out piece, I paired it with basic solid-colour pieces. In the first photo above, I’m wearing it with a navy Uniqlo t-shirt and dark olive chino’s from Mark’s. Both pieces are several years old. Immediately above, I’ve switched out the chinos for a favourite pair of dark wash jeans from Old Navy, also several years old. Below, I’m wearing the same jeans with an olive green top that I bought second-hand about a year ago. 

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There are many shades of pink, rust, green, brown, beige, peach, grey, and even a few bits of blue in the tapestry, so it would be easy to wear this jacket with many other colours. I can also give it a modern twist by rolling the sleeves.

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The impact of the Barbie movie on fashion

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Screenshot 2023-08-14 at 11.58.52 AMEver since the Barbie movie, featuring Margot Robbie and Ryan Gosling, was released last month, women and girls of every age (and men too) have been flocking to the theatres dressed in pink. Pink is definitely having a big moment in the fashion world!

Historically, pink was just another colour worn by men and women alike and, in many parts of the world, it still is. In North America, however, it’s been considered a feminine colour since the 1920s when US department stores arbitrarily made the decision that blue would be for boys and pink for girls. Later came an era when pink was thought to be too girly. Women who loved pink weren’t taken seriously and boys who wore pink were accused of being gay. All those stereotypes have been shattered by the Barbie movie phenomenon.

Living where I do, two hours from a major shopping mall, I haven’t been in a clothing store for quite awhile, but a quick look at a few of my favourite Canadian retailers online turned up an amazing array of pink; every shade of pink imaginable, but especially Barbie’s iconic hot pink.

There were casual clothes, of course, like this tank top and wide-legged linen cargo pants from Reitmans.

But also dressier pieces like this satin wrap skirt from Ricki’s.

Satin Wrap Skirt Ricki's

And even business appropriate suits and blazers like these from Cleo and Ricki’s.

Cropped Pant Suit Cleo

Single Breasted Blazer Ricki's

I can imagine Barbie wearing a bright pink trench coat, can’t you? This one’s from Reitmans.

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The only pink in my wardrobe is a couple of golf shirts and special bright pink hoodie that I’ve had for many years, but if I was in the market for new walking shoes, I’d definitely consider these Asics from the Marks website!

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But, back to the Barbie movie. I haven’t seen it myself and I don’t know that I will, but I did see a trailer that looked like it might be fun. What is it though that is drawing huge crowds to a movie about a doll having an existential crisis and venturing into the real world? Certainly one of the things driving the phenomenon is nostalgia. Women who grew up playing with Barbie can relive a part of their childhood and in many cases, share the experience with their daughters and granddaughters.

I never had a Barbie doll. I was 6 when Mattel officially introduced her to the world on March 9, 1959. Perhaps my mother was a woman before her time, but from the beginning, she didn’t like the unrealistic beauty standards presented by the doll. About that time, she and my father made a trip to the States. There, she bought my little sister a Vogue Ginny doll and me a Jan. Compared to Barbie, with her ridiculously minuscule waist, Jan had some meat on her bones and was definitely more pleasing to my mother’s sensibilities. Somewhat later, my sister and I both received a Tammy doll for Christmas. Tammy was created by the Ideal Toy Company and made her debut in 1962. She was portrayed as an American teenager with a “girl next door” image. Although I didn’t have a Barbie, I did have her younger sister, Skipper, and she was probably my favourite of the three.

Perhaps for girls and women who did grow up with Barbie, her iconic pink evokes not only nostalgia, but a sense of fun and escape to a time when life was more carefree and joyful. That would certainly explain the crowds dressed in pink lining up at the box offices and the influx of pink in clothing stores this summer!

What about you? Did you play with Barbie? Have you seen the movie? If so, did you dress in pink? I’d love to know your thoughts on the movie, the hoopla surrounding it, or the colour pink in general.