Self-care

What is self-care?

/ edebock / 4 Comments

This is a post that’s been rattling around in my head since I spoke at the ladies retreat at our church in April. I mentioned self-care in my afternoon talk that day, but I wanted to develop the idea more fully here.

First of all, I want to be very clear about what self-care isn’t. Self-care is not selfish! In fact, it’s essential. It helps us stay strong and healthy physically, mentally, and emotionally so that we’re able to handle the stresses of daily life and be there for others.

Self-care needs to be intentional. It’s much more than just a bubble bath or even a one-time spa escape, although those are wonderful ways to relax! Self-care involves making lifestyle choices that nurture body, mind, and spirit. It includes getting enough sleep, eating a nourishing diet, getting regular exercise, and seeking medical care when it’s needed. Self-care isn’t always glamorous or fun, but going to the dentist, starting a new exercise program, or choosing a reasonable bedtime are all ways of investing in your overall well-being.  

There’s much more to self-care than just taking care of our physical bodies though. As holistic beings self-care needs to address every aspect of our well-being. We need to make choices that also help us live well mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

There’s no one-size-fits-all when it comes to self-care, but there are some common factors. We’re fundamentally wired to be social beings. Close connections with other people are essential to our well-being. We need to make time to connect with family and friends, but most of us, especially those of us who are introverts, also need alone time. Like many things in life, it’s about finding the correct balance; balance that works for you and is good for your well-being.

Emotional self-care means taking care of your feelings; your inner wellness. It means means recognizing, understanding, and managing (not suppressing) your emotions. It includes actively challenging negative self-talk as well as knowing your limits and setting appropriate boundaries. It also involves taking time to relax. That might mean escaping into a good book, watching a favourite show, engaging in an enjoyable hobby, or spending time in nature. Pursuing fulfilling and meaningful activities that give your life meaning and purpose are also essential to emotional wellness.

I would be remiss if I didn’t also mention soul-care. Although there’s overlap between how we take care of our emotional and spiritual selves, soul-care also involves specific faith or tradition based practices that nurture our relationship with our Creator and allow Him to fill us. This might include scripture reading, prayer, meditation, or journalling as well as being part of a community that provides encouragement and accountability.

As strange as it might sound, one of the most spiritual things that we can do for ourselves is rest. That’s why God introduced the idea of Sabbath. There’s a big difference between being “tired” and being “depleted.” If we’re simply tired, a nap can solve the problem, but when we’re “depleted,” we need something more. So, if you find yourself feeling overworked, overwhelmed and over stressed this is your invitation to slow down and focus on how you might better engage in self-care. Quality self-care has been shown to improve mental health, enhance self-esteem and self-worth, increase optimism, and lessen symptoms of anxiety and depression. It can also help build resilience so you’re better equipped to handle life’s many stressors and challenges. 

Fashion and self-care

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What comes to mind when you think of self-care? Eating nutritious meals? Exercising? Getting enough sleep? Scheduling some “me” time? In reality, there are a myriad of ways that we can take an active role in preserving or improving our own well-being, but when I asked what comes to mind when you think about self-care, you probably didn’t think about fashion.

The morning ritual of getting dressed is an often overlooked aspect of self-care, but it plays an important role in our well-being. In fact, a common symptom of depression is difficulty showering and getting dressed.

There are times, like during the incredible cold snap that we’ve experienced here in Alberta recently, when getting dressed truly is a matter of caring for our bodies. Keeping warm and protecting ourselves from the elements is priority #1.

But dressing contributes to self-care in ways far beyond keeping warm. Taking care of our mental and emotional well-being is just as important as caring for our physical comfort and fashion can play a vital role in that. We’ve all heard the term “dress for success”, but dressing mindfully is about more than impressing other people. It’s also about feeling confident, comfortable, and empowered. When we dress in ways that make us feel good about ourselves, we’re also more likely to participate in other self-care practices like exercising, eating well, engaging with others, or getting out in nature. In addition, intentional dressing sparks creativity which is also good for our physical and mental health.

Please note that this is not a post about “retail therapy”. Retail therapy is the act of shopping for clothes to make yourself feel better which may or may not actually work. Instead, as I’ve done before, I urge you to shop your closet. Take time to put together outfits that enhance your mental and emotional state; that make you feel truly good about yourself. If there are pieces in your closet that don’t do this for you, that drag you down emotionally, consider getting rid of them.

In the dark days of winter and a time when what’s going on in the world around us might seem overwhelming, it’s easy to begin to feel like we’re in an emotional rut. In times like this, more than ever, we need the boost that looking and feeling good in our clothes can give us.

How to look put together every day

/ edebock / 3 Comments

logo-by-samIt’s late in the day and I still haven’t written today’s Fashion Friday post, so this is going to be a quick one. We spent two days in the city this week attending medical appointments so that’s my excuse for not being better prepared. The good news is that the lab work and CT scans that I’ve had done over the past couple of weeks showed that my cancer is stable! That’s a word that I wasn’t sure I was ever going to hear again, so of course, I’m delighted. We’ll redo all the tests in three months time, but for now I can put that on the back burner and get on with other things.

We may not always feel as if we have it all together, but we can always look as though we do and how we look affects how we feel. Today I’m going to share 14 tips on how to look put together every single day regardless of age or occasion.

  1. Start by taking care of yourself. Regular exercise, a healthy diet, and adequate sleep go a long way toward looking and feeling your best.
  2. Get a good, low maintenance haircut.
  3. Good grooming is key. Develop a good skin care routine, make sure your hair is neat and clean, practice good dental hygiene, and don’t neglect nail care.
  4. Make sure your clothes are clean.
  5. Don’t wear wrinkled clothes (with the exception of linen which is supposed to be wrinkled). You might want to invest in a hand-held steamer for quick touch ups.
  6. Ensure that your clothing fits well.
  7. Invest in good basics. Shop within your means, but buy the best quality that you can afford.
  8. Use a fabric shaver to remove pilling from knitwear.
  9. Find the colour palette that works best for you.
  10. Make sure your footwear is clean and in good condition.
  11. Accessorize, but don’t overdo.
  12. Use makeup strategically. Again, don’t overdo.
  13. Practice good posture.
  14. And finally, wear a smile!

These tips might seem obvious, but you don’t have to look far to see women who ignore them, especially at this busy, sometimes frenzied time of year. Do you have any other tips to add to the list?

Does fashion matter?

/ edebock / 6 Comments

LogoIn a world where women and children are fleeing a war torn country with nothing but the clothes on their backs and the few possessions that they can carry, does fashion really matter? In a time when opposing opinions about wearing masks and getting vaccinated have torn families and friendships apart, does fashion matter? In a patriarchal world where International Women’s Day has just pointed out gender disparity in vital areas such as education and health care, does fashion matter? These are questions I’ve been asking myself as I wrestled with what to write about today. Perhaps writing about fashion is too frivolous, or is it?

In the light of eternity, maybe fashion doesn’t matter, but it matters to Farah, a young mother in Pakistan who took out a Kiva loan to buy a new sewing machine. With it, she can supplement her husband’s meagre income by making clothes to sell and thus afford to send her children to school.

Farah - Pakistan

From growing and processing cotton and other fibres to the finished product, the fashion and textiles industry employs millions of people worldwide – roughly one in eight workers globally. Add the retail workers involved in selling the clothes and fashion matters to a lot of people!

Then there’s the question of whether or not fashion matters to us personally. Enclothed cognition is a term that relates to the effect that clothing has on the way a person thinks, feels, and functions. Studies actually show that what we wear directly affects our behaviour, attitudes, personality, mood, confidence, and even the way we interact with other people. If that’s the case, perhaps fashion really does matter. Perhaps it’s part of self-care. How we dress can reflect our personality, character, and mood. It’s a way to express our individuality and creativity. So, in this day and age, when life sometimes seems heavy or overwhelming, think about those outfits that you feel happiest wearing, the ones that you receive the most compliments on, and wear those. Let fashion give you a boost!