Health

Perspectives on growing older

/ edebock / 7 Comments

Earlier this month, Sue Burpee, writer of High Heels in the Wilderness, wrote a very thought provoking post about the feelings of sadness and dissatisfaction that she was experiencing as she contemplated the realities of getting older (she’s 66). It obviously resonated with many women as it generated a vast number of heartfelt comments. In fact, it struck such a chord with Frances, over at Materfamilias Writes, that she responded with this post on her blog. Again, the comment section exploded with women in their 60s, 70s, and beyond expressing feelings of worry and despair as they faced their own mortality. Many wrote of feeling that time was running out and one of Sue’s readers likened it to falling into an abyss. Some wrote of physical decline or the fear of losing their spouse. Others were already alone. Some mentioned lack of purpose, having nothing good to look forward to, or feeling invisible to those around them. There was also an acknowledgement by many that the pandemic had robbed them of valuable time that they’d never get back.

I haven’t been able to stop thinking about those two posts and the comments that they generated. I keep asking myself why I don’t share the feelings that so many women expressed so poignantly. I do lament time lost to the pandemic, but I’m just three months short of 70 and rather than feeling down about it, I’m excited! I’m already thinking about how I want to celebrate that milestone. But why? Why don’t I feel the way they do?

I think that there are three reasons.

The first was a major shift in perspective that happened almost ten years ago. I’ve written before about the fact that I spent the whole year that I was 59 fretting about turning 60. It sounded so old! How had I got there so quickly? Then came 60 and it wasn’t so bad after all, but before I turned 61, I was diagnosed with cancer and within a year, a second unrelated one. If you’ve been following my blog for very long, you know that the past decade has brought a number of other diagnoses as well as surgeries, treatments, and medications. Now, still with one incurable cancer, but stable and feeling 100%, I’ve learned that every day is a gift. Nine years ago, I had no reason to think that I would make it to 70. Now it feels like a victory!

The second reason that I feel optimistic about the future is the faith that sustained me through all the ups and downs of the past decade and for many years before that. I, who in my childhood and young adult years had an abnormal fear of death, of disappearing into nothingness and no longer existing, found peace with that when I finally cried out to God in desperation and asked Him to remove my fear. That was forty years ago and to this point, it has never returned. I don’t pretend to know what life beyond the grave will be like, but I firmly believe that it does go on and that those of us who have a personal relationship with the Creator will continue in His presence. That’s all I really need to know. That may sound naive or foolish to those who don’t share my faith, but that’s not surprising. Scripture says that that will be so. “For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.” 1 Corinthians 1:18

Perhaps the main reason that I’m not burdened by the dark thoughts and feelings that seem to plague so many of my fellow seniors is that my life has purpose. Hubby and I fairly recently gave up a volunteer position that was beginning to become too physically taxing, but as my father always said, there’s no end to the things that you can do in retirement as long as you don’t need to be paid. I’ve edited almost 750 Kiva loans since I took on that role early last year. When I was younger, I led a ladies Bible study for more than twenty years. I didn’t expect to find myself doing that again in my late 60s, but I just wrapped up my second year back in that role and I look forward to continuing in the fall. In addition, I have a leadership position with an online women’s ministry and I’ve just been accepted into another role that will put my writing skills to good use. Nine years ago when I was looking death in the face, I certainly didn’t anticipate new beginnings at age 70! Clearly God isn’t finished with me yet!

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Another diagnosis, another pill

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No, it’s not another cancer this time!

Seven years ago, I was diagnosed as pre diabetic. I managed to control it with diet alone until recently when I gradually slipped into the diabetic range. Though I’d originally hoped that this would never happen, it comes as no real surprise. In some ways, I’m not a usual candidate for diabetes. I’ve never been overweight, I’m not a smoker, and I ate a healthy diet and exercised regularly long before the pre diabetes diagnosis. In addition to a family history of diabetes, however, the injection of Sandostatin that I receive every 28 days for my neuroendocrine cancer (NETS) can suppress the release of insulin and cause elevated blood glucose levels. With those two strikes against me, I’ve now reached the stage where I need medication and my doctor has prescribed Metformin, the most common treatment for type 2 diabetes. I’m also going to be meeting with a dietician to find out if there are ways that I can further tweak my diet.

If there’s one good thing about having NETS, it’s the fact that the regular surveillance that it requires brings other health issues to light before they become as serious as they might otherwise. Typical symptoms of type 2 diabetes include increased thirst, frequent urination, increased hunger, unintended weight loss, fatigue, blurred vision, slow-healing sores, and frequent infections. I have experienced none of these. If it wasn’t for the regular blood tests that I undergo because of my cancer, I likely wouldn’t have known that I was pre diabetic seven years ago and without the dietary changes that I made back then, I probably would have reached the diabetes threshold much sooner. Looking for silver linings helps me maintain a positive attitude!

I don’t share these health updates to garner sympathy. In spite of cancer, diabetes, and several other health concerns, I continue to enjoy excellent quality of life. Hopefully, with the help of medication, excellent health care practitioners, and healthy lifestyle choices, that will continue for a long time yet!

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What I wore for a walk by the sea

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Logo by SamWhether you like to read about travel or fashion, there’s something in today’s post for you. I seldom write “what I wore” posts, but I figured that that was the best way to squeeze in a Fashion Friday post this week!

For the past eight and a half years, since being diagnosed with neuroendocrine cancer, I’ve had an injection of Sandostatin every 28 days. Until two months ago, a nurse came to the house to administer theScreen Shot 2022-04-06 at 9.35.43 PM jab, but that service has been discontinued. Now, I get my monthly injection at my doctor’s office, but I can still easily arrange to have it done anywhere in Canada. Yesterday’s appointment, for injection #110, was at a clinic in West Vancouver.

One end of the popular 1.7 km West Vancouver Centennial Seawalk is just 3 blocks from the clinic. The weather was beautiful, so as soon as I was done, we went for a walk.

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Along the way, we saw a couple of harbour seals poking their heads out of the water some distance offshore and this long-legged heron standing guard closer in.

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At the end of the Seawalk, we made an unexpected discovery, The Beach House restaurant. The restaurant’s beachfront patio opened for the season yesterday and we were the first to sit at our table for two overlooking the shore. The service was impeccable and the food delicious!

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And now for what I wore…

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Everything I’m wearing has been in my wardrobe for quite awhile. The olive chinos were purchased almost two years ago at Mark’s. They’re a nice alternative to jeans and perfect weight for spring and fall. I’ve had the short-sleeved animal print top from Laura for so long that I don’t actually remember when I bought it. In spite of the fact that it’s been in my closet for a long time, I haven’t actually worn it a lot, but it’s been coming out more often lately. I added the anorak from Reitmans to my spring/fall wardrobe three years ago. It’s wind and rain resistant making it a perfect jacket to wear here at the coast, but it gets lots of use at home too. My white leather sneakers, also from Mark’s, are two years old and still like new. They’re super comfortable for long walks like yesterday’s.

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Though you can’t see it in the previous two photos, I wore my Shirttail Cardigan from cabi under the jacket. Layering is key to staying warm at this time of year. The sweater is over five years old and still going strong. It has been an absolute workhorse in my wardrobe and has appeared on the blog many times before. I don’t know what I’ll do if it ever wears out!

Before I go, did you notice my new Fashion Friday logo? It was designed especially for me by my 12-year-old grandson, Sam! He’s one of the young artists in our family. Thank you, Sam!

A very long short month

/ edebock / 2 Comments

Winter in Canada is long and cold with short hours of daylight. I always start to feel very confined by this time of year and the pandemic has definitely added to that. February might be the shortest month of the year, but this one has felt very long!

The recent rebellion in our capital city and at border crossings across the nation followed almost immediately by Russia’s attack on Ukraine have added to my gloom. The so-called Freedom Convoy in Ottawa and blockades at the border so disgusted me that I pretty much avoided the news for awhile. I blocked so many sources and unfollowed so many people on Facebook that my newsfeed became almost boring! Believe it or not, one person posted something yesterday suggesting that news about the invasion of Ukraine is just meant to distract us from the injustices happening in our own country and we need to be alert! What? Are you kidding me? With that kind of thinking swirling around me, is it any wonder that I feel like burying my head under a blanket and ignoring the whole wide world?

Unfortunately, at least in my opinion, in spite of the fact that Covid is far from over, our provincial government has decided to give in to the protesters and as of tomorrow almost all health restrictions will be lifted. Many are celebrating and I understand the feeling, but for some of us, that means less freedom, not more. I’m not immunocompromised and I’m triple vaxxed, but I’ve fought too hard for the past eight and a half years to stay alive and well to put my health at unnecessary risk, so I’ll still be wearing a mask and avoiding close contact, especially with the unvaccinated.

Not being able to travel has definitely added to my frustration. At our age, we definitely feel like our time clock is ticking and opportunities are passing us by. In their retirement, my parents visited 66 countries. Earlier this month, I spent some time reading through the journals that my father kept when they traveled; everything from short two or three day trips to nineteen months wandering Asia, Europe, and the Middle East, living most of that time in their Volkswagen camper van. Reading about their adventures was the next best thing to traveling myself and took my mind off current events, but it also reignited my wanderlust thus adding to my frustration.

A few days ago, realizing that my current state of mind was not a healthy one, I looked back at two of my earlier posts, one written in September 2020 about hitting the Covid-19 wall and the other, written seven months later, about languishing.

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I realized that my feelings of frustration and discouragement weren’t entirely new. I’d been there before. I got over the wall on those occasions and I would again. In the meantime, I decided to look back over the very long shortest month and think about the positives. What were some good things that happened this month?

  • I read eight books; three novels, three memoirs, and two non-fiction books. That’s double the number that I usually read in a month.
  • I may not be able to visit yet, but I started chatting online with our friend, Richard M, who lives in Mexico in Spanish! My daily online language lessons are beginning to pay off.
  • I edited 53 Kiva loans, significantly more than the 40 a month that I committed to when I took on the volunteer position.
  • After seeing a physiotherapist on February 1, I’ve revamped my morning exercise routine, started a new lifting program, and I’m back on the treadmill regularly.
  • Walking in town is treacherous due to icy conditions, but we discovered a mostly unused road not far from town where we can walk safely and enjoy a breath of fresh air when the weather isn’t too cold.
  • I’ve tried several new and delicious recipes using the InstantPot that I received for Christmas.

Mental stimulation, learning something new, doing something for someone else, physical exercise, fresh air, eating well… all of these are key to getting through the doldrums that may, at times, seem overwhelming. The fact that the days are becoming noticeably longer also reminds me that spring is coming and better days are ahead!

The next little while will be busy with another whirlwind of medical appointments. Hospitals and clinics aren’t my favourite places to hang out, but at least they’ll still be following Covid precautions! Sometimes you just have to look at the bright side!

One less cancer!

/ edebock / 12 Comments

It’s been several months since I wrote an update about my health which is usually a good thing because it means that there’s been nothing new to report. This week saw something very big happen though! Before I get into that, let me begin with a bit of history for those who are new to the blog.

In the early fall of 2013, I was diagnosed with neuroendocrine cancer (NETS) which is incurable, but often treatable. Exactly seven months later, a second completely unrelated cancer was found in a my left parotid (saliva) gland. Treatment on the first cancer was halted while that one was removed surgically and followed up with thirty radiation treatments. Once I’d had time to heal from that, treatment on the first cancer resumed. I entered a clinical trial that involved 12 radioisotope treatments (PRRT) over a period of approximately five years. Each of these treatments left me highly radioactive for a week, but I responded well and there was some shrinkage of my tumours. In the fall of 2018, toward the end of that regimen, scans detected something suspicious in my thyroid gland which eventually proved to be yet another unrelated cancer. Since only a small percentage of papillary thyroid cancers are aggressive in nature, the decision at that time was to watch and wait. My body had been through enough and we could afford to give it time to heal before deciding how to address this latest discovery.

Skipping ahead three years to last fall, my neuroendocrine cancer continued to be stable. In fact, 20 months after my last PRRT treatment, I was still experiencing some decrease in tumour size. I was feeling great and able to live a normal, active life. Though there had been no change to the thyroid cancer, we decided that the time had come to remove it rather than taking a chance on allowing it to begin growing or spreading.

Then began the long wait due to Covid hospitalizations delaying surgeries! Finally, on Thursday morning, the same amazing surgeon who did my previous neck surgery removed my thyroid. I woke up very early that morning with two distinctly different kinds of cancer and a few hours later I had only one again! It’s taking awhile for the reality of that to truly sink in.

After an overnight stay in the hospital, I’m home and feeling remarkably well considering. I’ve needed nothing more than Tylenol for pain which is such a blessing as heavy duty pain killers make me nauseous. My neck feels a bit like someone held me in a headlock for an extended period of time which is probably pretty similar to what happened during the 3.5 hours of surgery! I have a very husky voice as the result of some difficulties with the breathing tube, but that should gradually heal over the next couple of weeks. I had a super good sleep last night and now I’m just going to lean back and take it easy for a few days! During the first week of March, I’ll be back in the city for a follow up appointment with the surgeon as well as CT scans to check on the neuroendocrine cancer. In the meantime, I’m just rejoicing over having one less cancer!

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NET Cancer Day 2021

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Once again, today is Worldwide NET Cancer Day, a day set aside to increase awareness of neuroendocrine (NET) cancers and to promote improved diagnostics, treatments, information, care and research.

The theme of this year’s campaign is

Know the symptoms.

Push for diagnosis. 

Less than 30% of neuroendocrine cancer patients receive a correct diagnosis the first time they reach out for help. In fact, it often takes five to ten years from onset of symptoms to correct diagnosis. During that time, of course, the cancer quietly spreads. Thankfully, compared to many other cancers, NETS is slow growing, but like many of my fellow patients, I was Stage 4 at diagnosis. This means that my cancer had already spread from its origin to distant parts of my body. At this point, 8 years after diagnosis, treatment has halted it’s progress and resulted in some shrinkage, but there is no cure.

Know the symptoms. 

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Once considered rare, neuroendocrine cancer is actually the fastest growing class of cancers worldwide. Unfortunately, many health care professionals have never seen a case and know little or nothing about this complex disease. In order to achieve early, correct diagnosis for every patient, we need every primary care physician to know and recognize the symptoms. When they are presented with stomach pain, it makes sense for them to suspect gastritis (inflammation of the stomach lining), but we also need them to wonder if it could be neuroendocrine cancer. When the stomach pain is accompanied by severe diarrhea, irritable bowel syndrome is a definite possibility, but we also need the doctor to be aware that it could be NET cancer. When a woman complains of facial flushing, rather than simply assuming that it’s due to menopause, we need her doctor to ask himself if it could be NETS. Depending on the location of the primary tumour, other symptoms may include nausea and vomiting, rapid heartbeat, anxiety, skin rash, shortness of breath or wheezing, lack of appetite, unexplained weight loss and/or lack of energy.

Push for diagnosis. 

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Diagnosing neuroendocrine cancer is complex. In addition to recognizing the symptoms, we need doctors to order the correct laboratory tests and scans. It’s also important for patients to push for correct diagnosis. One of the most important things I’ve learned since my diagnosis is how important it is to advocate for yourself. Know your body. Know what’s normal for you. Pay attention when something feels off. Take note of unusual symptoms and talk to your doctor as soon as possible. If you don’t get the answers you’re looking for, PUSH! Don’t give up. Years before I was finally diagnosed, I remember thinking “at least it’s not cancer” but I was wrong! If I’d pushed for answers then, perhaps it would have been caught much sooner and the outcome might have been very different!

Know the symptoms.

Push for diagnosis. 

When is an accessory not just an accessory?

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LogoAccessories are the finishing touches that can take an outfit from drab to dramatic. They also add versatility to your wardrobe enabling you to create many different looks with the same basic outfit. Accessories are also an opportunity to express your personal style, taste, and preferences, but sometimes they are even more than that. Sometimes an accessory has special meaning or significance to the person who wears it. That’s definitely the case with my new hand-crafted zebra pendant!

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As many of you are already aware, the zebra is a symbol of neuroendocrine cancer (NETS), the cancer that I’ve been living with for the past eight years. In medical school, doctors are taught “when you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras”. NETS was previously considered rare and therefore, a zebra. However, with increasing awareness and quicker diagnosis, neuroendocrine cancers are proving not to be as rare as once thought. Another reason that the Canadian Neuroendocrine Tumour Society (CNETS) chose and continues to use the zebra as their mascot is the fact that every zebra has its own pattern of stripes. Just as each patient and their needs are unique, no two zebras are exactly alike.

Committed to improving the quality of life and the survival rate for NETS cancer patients across Canada, every year CNETS funds research initiatives that will have a direct and meaningful impact on their lives. As a little-known cancer, it falls upon patients to raise much of the money for this ongoing work.

Screen Shot 2021-09-15 at 2.45.32 PMAl Gillis is a neuroendocrine cancer patient who came up with a unique idea for both increasing awareness and raising funds; a beautiful one-of-a-kind pewter pendant/keyfob featuring the CNETS zebra logo. Made entirely of donated materials and using only volunteer labour, the first distribution sold out in less one day! I was fortunate to nab one of those. Now, a second batch is in stock and going fast. If you’re interested in purchasing one and supporting this important endeavour click here, but don’t hesitate too long or you’ll be waiting for Al and his crew to make more!

You might also be interested in watching this video in which Al demonstrates and explains how the pendants (which can also be used as keyfobs) are made. I found it quite fascinating.

Do you have any accessories that are especially meaningful to you? Please tell us about one or more of them in the comments section below. 

 

Blogging woes and cancer news

/ edebock / 14 Comments

My beloved MacBook Air is getting old; old enough that I’m not able to update to a newer browser. Recently, whenever I opened WordPress to check my stats or work on a post, I received a message telling me that I was using an unsupported browser. Until earlier this week, however, I was able to click through to the appropriate page and work as usual. Then came the fateful day when all that I could open was a blank page with the WordPress logo in the centre!

As I usually do when something goes wrong in my blogging world, I fired off a cry for help to WordPress support and hoped for the best. They’ve never let me down yet, but while I wait to find out what they can or can’t do for me, I’m typing this on my husband’s computer. Not easy! Mine is a Mac, but his is not. The keyboard is a different size and my fingers don’t know what to do. Things jump around when I’m not expecting them to and then there’s the issue of all my photos being on my computer and not knowing how to transfer them to his. With practice, I’m sure these things will get easier, but this is, at best, a very temporary solution! I’m hoping that I don’t have to invest in a new computer right now as mine still does everything else I want it to do, but I have to be able to blog!   

Now, for the other news… 

In mid August, I went through a series of tests and scans, as I do every six months, to determine whether or not there were any changes to my cancers. When the results became available online, I was concerned about a spike in one marker that is particularly significant to neuroendocrine cancer (NETS). Not only had the level increased dramatically, but it was now slightly above the normal range. Knowing that I had to wait several weeks to see the doctor for an explanation, my response was similar to when WordPress quit working. I called for support. I sent out a cry for help to eight godly women asking each of them to pray, not only that my cancer had not grown or spread, but also that I wouldn’t be anxious as I waited for answers. Almost immediately, an unnatural peace descended on me and I was able to go on without undue stress or anxiety. 

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”  Philippians 4:6-7

And now for the really good news… my cancer continues to be stable and the doctor has no concerns! Though the spike in that one marker looked concerning to me, she assured me that it would have to be much higher before it was anything to worry about. Praise the Lord!

Still walking, but not enough!

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It’s been two months since I last posted an update on my summer walking challenge. On May 2 of this year, I challenged myself to walk and/or hike 300 km by our 45th wedding anniversary on October 2. Five months to walk 300 km. Easy peasy! Right?

I got off to a really good start reporting 87.07 km by June 2 and another 63.59 km in the month that followed. Two months into the challenge, I was already half way to my goal. In my third month, I walked another 68.83 km for a total of 219.49 km.

That’s when I slipped off the rails and I’m sad to say that in the past month I walked and/or hiked only 38.41 km! What happened? Well, I could make plenty of excuses. There was time spent with grandchildren. We did go hiking while they were with us, but other than that, I didn’t take time away from them to go for regular walks. We’ve had some rainy days. I do own an umbrella, but it’s easier to stay indoors on those days. And then there’s the fact that I hurt my back again. That one was a pretty good excuse for a few days, but even though it’s still not 100%, I could be going for short walks. In fact, they might even be good for me.

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Most of all though, I’ve just been lazy! When it became obvious that I’d be able to reach my goal well ahead of schedule, I slacked off. Now it’s time to get off my butt, lace up those walking shoes, and finish the job! With only 42.1 km left to go and a full month until our anniversary, there’s plenty of time to get this done!

100 butt darts!

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Every 28 days, without fail, a visiting nurse pulls up in front of our house and comes in to give me an injection of Sandostatin LAR. Today was the 100th of those butt darts!

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Sandostatin LAR is a long-acting treatment meant to reduce or eliminate the symptoms associated with neuroendocrine cancer (NETS) and for me it has been an absolute life changer! No longer do I live with the stomach pains and diarrhea that plagued me off and on for several years prior to diagnosis. Though the effect of Sandostatin on tumour size, rate of growth, and development of metastases has not yet been determined, it is thought that it might also be of benefit in those areas.

Sandostatin comes as a powder and a diluent solution that must be mixed and administered according to very precise instructions which is why I haven’t been taught to inject it myself. Once the diluent is added to the powder, it must be allowed to stand for a minimum of 2 minutes and not more than 5 to ensure that the powder is fully saturated. Then, after gently shaking the syringe for about 30 seconds to ensure that the powder is completely suspended, the nurse has to administer it without delay to avoid sedimentation. Even following these guidelines carefully and using a fairly large needle (19 gauge), it sometimes plugs. On those occasions, she has to quickly change the needle and try again. On a couple of occasions it has taken 4 jabs to get the medication into me! My 100 butt darts has actually involved about 130 pokes altogether.

In addition to the benefits that the drug offers, getting it into me and not wasting it is of vital importance because every one of those butt darts costs $2358.52 CAD! In other words, over the past almost 8 years, we have pumped more than $235,000 into my posterior! You could buy a nice house in our small town for that much.

This is where I’m really glad to be Canadian. I pick up the Sandostatin at my local pharmacy every 4 weeks and don’t pay a cent! The cost is fully covered by the government and that includes the cost of having the nurse come to my home. A Mobile Administration Program even enables me to have my injection administered by a trained nurse anywhere else in Canada. A simple phone call is all it takes to make the arrangements. I have to take the medication, which has to be refrigerated, with me but I’ve found that an insulated lunch bag and a mini freezer pack do the job as long as I can put it in a fridge overnight. So far, I’ve had butt darts administered at all 3 of my children’s homes. Arranging to have it done outside the country would be more complicated and isn’t something I’ve tried at this point.

So, is getting my monthly Sandostatin a pain in the butt? Not really. As a child, I was terrified of needles, but I lost that fear a long time ago. Only once in awhile does really hurt going in. Today was one of those occasions, but it went in on the first try, so I’m not complaining! The injection site often feels bruised for a couple of days and a lump often forms that gradually dissipates over the next few weeks, but these minor inconveniences are well worth it when I consider the benefits. So, 100 butt darts down and here’s hoping that I can have 100 more! Or 200. Or more!