Exploring close to home

June 11, 2014November 27, 2018 / edebock / 4 Comments

Though we’ve climbed Mt. Fuji and the Great Wall of China, cruised Vietnam’s spectacular Halong Bay and swum in the Grotto on the island of Saipan, there are plenty of things right here in Edmonton, the city closest to our home, that we haven’t done. When we come to the city, it’s usually a day trip filled with mundane activities like medical appointments and shopping, but this time is different.

This time we’re in Edmonton from Monday to Friday for six weeks in a row while I undergo radiation treatment. Most days, we’re in and out of the clinic in less than an hour. That leaves lots of time to do and see the things that we haven’t taken time for in the past. Essentially, we’re playing tourist close to home.

The North Saskatchewan River, one of Canada’s most historic waterways, winds its way through Edmonton on its journey from the Columbia Icefield, high in the Rocky Mountains, to the Hudson Bay. Edmonton’s river valley comprises over 20 major parks and attractions and forms the largest expanse of urban parkland in North America. With over 150 km of well-maintained trails, the river valley provides a unique opportunity for city dwellers and visitors to escape the city without ever leaving it.

After today’s treatment, we spent about an hour walking in the river valley, something we had never done before. Though we started off near a high traffic area, the further we walked, the more the noise of the city faded into the background. It was soon replaced by birdsong and the chatter of squirrels like this little fellow who protested loudly when we came too close.

Further along the trail, we heard an unfamiliar sound; the huff and puff of Fort Edmonton’s steam train! Though we couldn’t see it through the trees, we were passing by Canada’s largest living history museum, just one of the many attractions found in the river valley.

The confluence of Whitemud Creek and the North Saskatchewan River

I’ve always admired cities with well developed and accessible green spaces and I’m glad we finally took the time to explore a bit of Edmonton’s!

Somewhere between pushy and patient

May 27, 2014May 27, 2014 / edebock / 10 Comments

Very early on in my battle with cancer a dear friend gave me some very wise advice. “Please don’t be afraid to advocate for yourself,” she told me. “You will have to wait at times but there is also a place for you to pick up the phone and ask for results, action, a timeline.”

It’s called being proactive.

Being proactive falls somewhere between pushy and patient. Pushy is defined as “excessively or unpleasantly self-assertive or ambitious.” Though waiting for appointments, waiting for test results, waiting to find out what’s going to happen next is is a huge part of this journey, I don’t want to be pushy. I don’t want to be excessively or unpleasantly assertive. I don’t want to phone too often and make a complete nuisance of myself but I’m not willing to be overly patient either. Patient means “able to accept or tolerate delays, problems or suffering without becoming annoyed or anxious.” No thanks! I’m definitely not willing to accept or tolerate unnecessary delays and I do become anxious!

Being proactive is all about balance and it has been especially important since my second cancer was diagnosed. I’m not willing to simply sit back and assume that all the experts involved in caring for my two entirely different cancers are talking to one another and coordinating their efforts. I’m being proactive and advocating for myself. I can’t control the situation or cause things to happen but I can ask questions and I can ensure that everyone involved in one part of my care knows what’s going on in the other part.

Regardless of how proactive I am, waiting is still a big part of the process, but lately things seem to have sped up. Surgery was just three weeks ago. I’ve already been back to the city for two appointments since then and I have another one tomorrow. Due to the size of the tumour that was removed and the fact some cancer cells may have been left behind, the next step is 30 radiation treatments over a six week period. At tomorrow’s appointment, molds will be taken to make a mask that will ensure that my head remains in the correct position and the radiation targets exactly the right spot each time. Because radiation to the jaw can cause dental problems and I need to learn how to prevent that from happening, I also have a dental consultation booked for the end of next week. Radiation will begin soon after that.

In the meantime, treatment of my neuroendocrine tumours is on hold, but a CT scan on June 12 will tell us whether or not there has been any change and I will be proactively advocating for resumption of a regular treatment schedule as soon as radiation is finished.

Being proactive doesn’t come naturally to me, but it’s getting easier all the time and it gives me some sense of control in a situation that is largely out of my hands.

In what areas of life have you had to be proactive?

Mesothelioma Awareness – Speaking out against a dreadful wrong!

May 26, 2014 / edebock / 1 Comment

This is the first time I’ve written a blog post on request. When Heather Von St. James contacted me and I looked into the reason behind her appeal, I knew it was something I had to do! With her shock of silver hair and vibrant smile, Heather looks like the picture of health, but that hasn’t always been the case. At 36 years of age, just 3 1/2 months after the birth of her only child, she was diagnosed with cancer and given 15 months to live. That was in November of 2005. Miraculously, over eight years later, she is alive and well and has dedicated herself to increasing awareness of mesothelioma, her particular kind of cancer.

I really don’t like the word cancer; not just because of the fear that is so closely associated with it, but because it is such vague and nebulous term. Cancer is not just one disease, but many. It is a term that is used to describe any disease in which abnormal cells divide without control and are able to invade other tissues. There are over 200 kinds of cancer!

Like my neuroendocrine tumours (NETS), mesothelioma is a rare cancer that is difficult to diagnose because, in the early stages, it can be easily mistaken for other illnesses. Symptoms are all too often ignored or dismissed by people who are inclined to attribute them to common every day ailments. That’s where the similarity ends, however. While NETS is a slow growing chronic cancer, mesothelioma is aggressive and deadly. The cause of neuroendocrine tumours is unknown but this is also not the case with mesothelioma. Not only is the cause known, it is preventable!

The only known cause of mesothelioma is exposure to asbestos. Heather never worked with asbestos, but her father did. Secondhand exposure as a child was enough to make her sick decades later. Because of the disease’s latency period of 30 to 50 years, it often doesn’t show up until long after exposure.

After reading Heather’s plea for help in spreading the word about mesothelioma and reading up on the disease, I wondered how the situation here in Canada compared to the U.S. where she resides. I was shocked to discover that, after climbing steadily over the past two decades, Canada’s mesothelioma rate is now one of the highest in the world!

Our country’s first asbestos mine opened in 1879. During the late 1800s and early 1900s, an increasing number of mines took advantage of the large asbestos deposits found in Quebec, Newfoundland, British Columbia and the Yukon. Manufacturers began to produce a variety of asbestos-containing products that would be used in Canada and worldwide. While the asbestos industry boomed and mine owners and company executives got rich, workers got sick, suffered from breathing difficulties, coughed up blood and died! Canadian mortality rates among miners were studied as early as the 1920s and evidence exists to show that asbestos company executives withheld negative reports from both their employees and the public. By the 1970s, doctors had declared Canada’s asbestos mining towns to be among the most dangerous places in the world to live, with rates of mesothelioma and other asbestos related diseases increasing. Asbestos opponents and those weary of seeing Canada’s mesothelioma rate rise celebrated in 2011 when last two remaining mines closed but, because of the renovation and demolition of the country’s aging buildings that used asbestos as insulation, the mesothelioma rate has been rising among construction and maintenance workers. Canada has long resisted a universal ban of asbestos as proposed by the World Health Organization (WHO) and continues to be a major exporter of asbestos to many countries who do not monitor asbestos exposure or regulate its use.

Is it any wonder that Heather asks us to join our voices with hers in speaking up against such an obvious wrong? For more information on mesothelioma and to read Heather’s story in her own words, visit the Mesothelioma Cancer Alliance.

Long distance hugs!

May 14, 2014May 14, 2014 / edebock / 10 Comments

I love hugs and I’ve been receiving lots of them lately; tentative, gentle hugs from friends who are being ultra careful not to hurt me. One friend, a huge teddy bear kind of guy, tells me that he’s reserving one of his giant bear hugs for me and that I can have it as soon as I’m feeling a little less fragile!

I’ve also been receiving lots of long distance hugs in emails and messages from around the world. There are the traditional Xs and Os, representing kisses and hugs, at the end of some of the messages and the more modern brackets ( ) or (( )) in others. I appreciate every one of them.

Today, I received the most unique and perhaps the most special long distance hugs ever. I had a long nap this morning and after lunch, Richard and I decided to try a walk to the post office. It was great to be out and about on a beautiful spring afternoon. There was a parcel card in our mailbox so we stopped into the office to see what had arrived. The post mistress handed me a large brown envelope with a paper heart glued to the front. It was addressed to Gram DeBock and the return address indicated that it was from our grandsons, Sam and Nate, in Vancouver.

“I knew this one was special,” she said. “So I didn’t want to bend it to fit it into your box!”

I can never wait until I get home to open exciting looking mail so we walked across the corner to our little Main Street Park and sat on a bench overlooking Sedgewick’s tiny downtown area while I opened my special envelope. Look what slipped out!

In everything give thanks

May 12, 2014 / edebock / 11 Comments

I almost hesitate to post anything today because I’m feeling rather cranky! My surgery went well last Wednesday so what do I have to complain about? Just the fact that my head feels like it’s been used as a soccer ball and a sore throat/earache kept me awake most of the night.

Feeling the way I do this morning, it would be easy to give in to whining and feeling sorry for myself but this is one of those days when I need to remind myself that scripture says

The little word in at the beginning of that verse is the reason that I can give thanks today. If it asked me to give thanks for everything, I’m quite certain I couldn’t do it. I certainly couldn’t give thanks for cancer and though I recognize how fortunate I am to live where universal and excellent health care is available, I’m not thankful that I had to have surgery at all, but even in these circumstances, there is much to be thankful for.

I’m thankful for my hubby who patiently puts up with my restlessness at night and crankiness by day! In some ways, the surgery was harder on him than it was on me. I was out cold, totally unaware of what was going on, but as the hours ticked by, he was the one who was waiting for the surgeon’s call to tell him that things had gone well. I’m thankful for a surgeon who worked patiently and carefully for seven hours straight to remove all the cancer yet leave my facial nerves intact. Thanks to his meticulous effort, my left eye is fully functional and I’m left with nothing more than a crooked smile which will likely improve significantly once the massive swelling subsides and healing takes place. I’m also thankful for the wonderful friends and neighbours who have been showering us with meals; pots of homemade soup, fresh buns and other soft foods that I can handle. We are so blessed!

But do you know what else I’m thankful for today? I’m thankful for the guys who invented the drinking straw! After seven hours with a breathing tube down my throat, it is SORE and it seems to be taking a long time to heal! Drinking lots of fluids helps but that’s hard to do when your bottom lip doesn’t work right!

Apparently, the first drinking straws were used more than 5000 years ago! The oldest one in existence, a gold tube inlaid with precious blue lapis lazuli, was found by archeologists exploring an ancient Sumerian tomb that was dated 3,000 B.C. On the other side of the globe, Argentinian natives long used similar wooden or metal devices, known as bombillas, to strain and drink their tea. Our humble paper and plastic straws had their beginnings in the U.S. In the 1880s, using rye grass as straws had become popular but their tendency to become mushy when wet and the grassy flavour that they added to beverages, made them somewhat unsatisfactory. It was Marvin C. Stone who came up with the idea of making one from paper. He started by winding paper around a pencil to make a thin tube, then slid the pencil out and applied glue to hold it together. He later built a machine that would coat the outside of the paper with wax. He patented his invention on January 3rd, 1888. In 1937, Joseph Friedman, created the first bendable straw, the type I’m using today.

Come to think of it, I’m even thankful for silly history lessons like this one that provide distraction from my present discomfort and crankiness!

What are you thankful for today?

Meeting Donloree!

May 6, 2014 / edebock / 8 Comments

As I’ve mentioned before, one of the perks of blogging is connecting with other bloggers and, in some cases, establishing long distance friendships with them. I first heard of Donloree Hoffman when I read an article in the Edmonton Journal in October 2010.

“Donloree Hoffman is about to do the scariest thing she’s ever done.

She’s going to put on an itsy bitsy teenie weenie purple bedazzled micro-bikini, slip her feet into five-inch Barbie-doll heels, and strut her new lean and toned self in front of some very judgmental people.”

The article’s opening paragraphs captured my attention and I immediately checked out the link to her blog. I’ve been following it ever since.

In the early days, Donloree introduced me to the fascinating world of fitness competition. A leadership coach who is passionate about empowering people to break out of their comfort zone and be the best that they can be, Donloree describes herself as a bodybuilding hobbyist, an avid reader, and a lover of audacious living. She also has a wonderful sense of humour.

Until today, I had never met one of my blogging friends in person but, after spending this morning navigating the maze that is Edmonton’s University Hospital in preparation for tomorrow’s surgery, I did just that! Donloree and I have been trying to connect in person for awhile and this time, it finally happened. When she walked into the Starbucks where we’d arranged to meet, it was like reconnecting with an old friend and we chatted for more than an hour!

I’m very fortunate that Donloree lives in Edmonton, just two hours from home. There are a few other bloggers that I’d also like to meet but they live in more exotic places like San Antonio, Texas and Dubai! That might be a bit more difficult to arrange!

Shoes of hope

May 5, 2014May 12, 2014 / edebock / 11 Comments

Sometimes a pair of golf shoes is just that, a pair of shoes designed to provide comfort and stability while playing the game of golf. The pair I bought today, however, are much more than that. These shoes, purchased to replace a very old pair that are literally falling apart, are a symbol of hope. Hope that the ugly weather that has been giving us below average temperatures, rain and even snow far into what is normally spring, will someday come to an end but also, hope that the surgery that I’ll be having the day after tomorrow will go well and that I’ll soon be able to get on with life!

I really have no idea how long it will take to recover from the operation to remove a cancerous tumour from my salivary gland. That will depend on how difficult the procedure is to perform, something that even the surgeon can’t determine ahead of time. Regardless of whether I’m only in the hospital overnight or have to stay much longer, I expect to be swathed in bandages for awhile afterward. If you’re out on the Sedgewick golf course and see someone who looks a bit like a mummy wearing shiny new golf shoes, that will be me!

Look Good, Feel Better

April 16, 2014November 6, 2015 / edebock / 16 Comments

There is no question that when a woman looks good, she feels better.

When I walked into the Cross Cancer Institute yesterday, it was nice to know that I wasn’t there for a test, a treatment or a consultation with the medical team who care for me. This time, I was there for a two hour Look Good Feel Better workshop sponsored by the Canadian Cosmetic, Toiletry and Fragrance Association. The program, which is free of charge to all participants, is designed to help women with cancer feel better about themselves and thus face their illness with greater confidence.

When I registered for the workshop, I was told that I would receive a kit containing a variety of cosmetic and personal care products. I expected a small collection of samples from the various CCTFA member companies but I greatly underestimated their generosity and was completely blown away by what I actually received.

In addition to many cosmetic companies, Look Good, Feel Better has several other corporate sponsors including Shoppers Drug Mart, Winners, WestJet and The Globe and Mail. Over 1800 volunteer cosmetic advisers and hair alternative specialists give generously of their time to bring the program to cancer care centres across the country. The ratio of volunteers to participants at yesterday’s seminar was almost one to one!

The session started with tips and techniques for properly cleansing skin and applying make-up. I have been meticulous about skin care for many years, cleansing and moisturizing every morning and night, but when it comes to make-up, I’m a minimalist. If I’d joined the recent craze and posted a no make-up selfie on Facebook, it wouldn’t have looked very different from my usual day-to-day appearance. I feel naked without mascara and I often use a bit of blush to add some colour to my otherwise pale complexion but that’s about all unless I’m going somewhere special. Then, I might use a tinted moisturizer and add some eye shadow. When I was teaching school, I always used an under eye concealer but when I retired, the dark circles under my eyes magically disappeared and I quit using it! It was actually fun to follow the 12 step program and put on my full face yesterday and I was quite happy with the results!

I was a little disappointed that not much was said about the effects that cancer and it’s treatment can have on the skin but I’ve since discovered that the Signature Steps guide that came with my kit contains some of that information. It also includes sections on body care, hair removal, eye care, oral care, nail care, nutrition and exercise, all topics that weren’t covered in the session.

I’ve always said that if I lost my hair to cancer (which I probably won’t), I wouldn’t bother with a wig. I had my head shaved as part of a cancer fundraiser several years ago and absolutely loved it. After the hair alternatives portion of yesterday’s workshop, however, I’m not so sure. There are so many cute wigs to choose from!

Already bald, as the result of chemotherapy, Tracy, like several of the other ladies, entered the room looking pale and apprehensive. As she applied her make-up, her face began to glow. It’s amazing what a difference something as simple as drawing eyebrows onto a hairless face can make! When it was time for someone to volunteer to model the wigs, Tracy raised her hand. As wig after wig was placed on her shiny head and we all oohed and aahed over how attractive she looked in several of them, she truly came to life!

What a blessing it was for each of us to leave a place where we’ve spent some of the most stressful moments of our lives with smiles plastered across our freshly made up faces! Thank you, CCTFA!

What makes a woman beautiful?

April 14, 2014April 14, 2014 / edebock / 9 Comments

I’ve been thinking a lot about appearance lately and questioning what it is that makes a woman beautiful. It began about a month ago when my Facebook news feed began to fill up with no make-up selfies, photos of fresh faced women without any make-up. Apparently, this was an offshoot of a campaign that originated in Britain in early March as a breast cancer awareness and fundraising endeavor. It quickly went viral. On this side of the pond, the breast cancer connection was lost and the movement became about women being comfortable in their own skin and embracing their natural beauty. Women were to post their no make-up photo then nominate other female friends to do the same. The response was interesting. Many posted their pictures proudly, others with disclaimers apologizing to those who had to see them, while still others refused to post at all.

I enjoyed the pictures but I was saddened by some of the responses. What is it about our culture that tells a woman that she needs to apologize for her natural appearance or worse yet, that she shouldn’t be seen publicly without being fully made up?

The answer is easy; the messages are all around us. Flip open any women’s magazine and you’re instantly inundated by air brushed images promising younger looking skin, flawless complexions, lusher lashes, smoother lips and glossy nails. How easy it is to forget that these are simply advertisements aimed at selling products. Instead, for many, they become the goal, the standard of beauty, and they go to great lengths to try to attain it.

The Bible has something very different to say about beauty.

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 1 Peter 3:3-4

Though this passage has often been misinterpreted, nowhere does the Bible say that a godly woman shouldn’t braid her hair, wear elaborate jewelry and fine clothes, or use make-up. It simply says that her true beauty shouldn’t depend on these things. It ought to come from inside.

That’s easy to say when you’re comfortable with what you see in the mirror, but what if you really aren’t? I’m waiting for surgery to remove a cancerous tumour from my parotid gland, the largest salivary gland on the left side of my face, and I have no idea what I’ll look like afterward. The best case scenario would leave me with nothing more than an S-shaped scar down the crease in front of my ear, under my ear lobe, and down onto the side of my neck. A change in hairstyle could easily camouflage that. The tumour is deep, however, and removal may require a much more complicated procedure. There’s no way of knowing this in advance, however, so I’ve already signed consent that would allow the surgeon to make a much larger incision and cut through and temporarily move my jawbone if necessary. This procedure would also require a temporary tracheotomy and, of course, the scarring would be much more extensive. In either case, this is very delicate surgery due to the close proximity to a major facial nerve. If possible, the nerve will be saved but there is no guarantee of that. If it cannot be, I will be left with significant drooping on that side of my face.

So, what will I look like when this is over? Will I be one of those people that little children stare at and whose embarrassed mothers hush when they innocently ask, “Why does that lady look so funny?” Will inner beauty shine through a lopsided face? Will I have the courage to wear my scars as a badge of survival?

Tomorrow, I’m going to be attending a Look Good, Feel Better workshop. The program, an initiative of the Canadian Cosmetic, Toiletry and Fragrance Association, is designed to boost the morale of women undergoing cancer treatment by empowering them to manage the effects that cancer and its treatment can have on their appearance. Perhaps I’ll learn something that will help me deal with my post surgery face, whatever it looks like.

Ultimately, however, make-up or not, scars and all, I just want the beauty of Christ to be seen in me.

Top six

March 29, 2014 / edebock / Leave a comment

This is Following Augustine’s 600th post written over a period of slightly more than six years! I think that the secret to the blog’s longevity is its eclectic nature.

Originally started as a way to share our year in Japan (2008-2009) with friends and family, it has become much more than a travel blog. Family often shows up but it isn’t a mommy blog and while I occasionally focus on clothing, shoes or accessories, it definitely isn’t a fashion blog. In recent months, I’ve been using the blog to share my cancer journey but, just as my life continues to be about more than just my health, so does the blog. My faith permeates every part of my life, including what I write, but this isn’t a religion blog either. For lack of a better description, I refer to it as a travel and lifestyle blog but I also like to think of it as an active retirement blog.

One of the things that I like about blogging with WordPress is the stats page where I can see how many readers view the blog, where they’re from and which posts are most popular. I’m often surprised by which ones generate the most interest. In fact, some of the most popular posts are ones that I wondered if anyone would find interesting!

Today, in honour of 600 posts in 6 years, I’m going to profile my top 6 posts of all time. Since several of them are older posts, I’ll include a link to each one in case newer readers are interested in looking back with me. Just click on the titles below to check them out.

Following Augustine’s Top Six Posts of All Time

#6 What influences your sense of self-worth? Oct. 29, 2011

The idea for this post came from Charles F. Stanley’s Bible study, How to Reach Your Full Potential for God, and was the result of some serious self examination. It was one of the most difficult posts I’ve written because it involved baring my soul and owning up to an attitude that I knew needed to change.

#5 Tatami Aug. 28, 2008

I find it quite funny that the most popular post from our entire year in Japan was about the traditional floor covering known as tatami! Tatami has many advantages and I loved it but I didn’t love the insects that crawled out of the tightly woven mat at night to bite me! Eww! Fortunately, we learned how to get rid of them and it’s obviously this information that people are looking for when they Google “insects in tatami” or other similar phrases and find their way to this post.

#4 A new journey… Aug. 30, 2013

The newest post on my Top Six list, this is the one that shared my cancer diagnosis. I was walking this trail beside a peaceful lake in southern Alberta when the cell phone in my pocket rang and I first heard that dreaded C word.

Now that a second cancer has been diagnosed, we are no closer to knowing where this journey is going to take us.

#3 Alex’s yellow lizard May 28, 2012

Richard and I are avid geocachers. Geocaching is a grown up, high-tech game of hide and seek. Participants use GPS units to hide and find containers called geocaches and then log their activity online. One of the aspects of geocaching that I like best is trackables; geocaching game pieces that are moved from cache to cache by geocachers like ourselves. Alex’s Yellow Lizard was a trackable that we picked up from a roadside cache in Manitoba on our way home from Winnipeg a couple of years ago. When it started its journey in Minnesota, its owner asked that pictures be taken and posted along the way so that his seven-year-old son could watch his little yellow lizard as it traveled around the world. We placed it in a geocache at a native ceremonial site on a high point of land about 24 km north of our home. When I posted this information on the geocaching website, I included a link to my blog.

#2 Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout Jan. 21, 2011

I have no idea why so many people enter things like “gold ring in pig’s snout” and “pig nose ring” in search engines! I thought this was a pretty obscure thing to write about! The phrase comes from Proverbs 11:22 and refers to a beautiful woman who has no discretion.

And now, drumroll please!

#1 Bridges of Madison County July 21, 2010

My most read blog post of all time is also one of my shortest. On a road trip to Kansas City for a missions conference during the summer of 2010, we purposely went out of our way to visit Winterset, Iowa, the setting of my favourite novel, The Bridges of Madison County by Robert James Waller. Like Robert Kincaid, one of Waller’s main characters, we drove the back roads of Madison County photographing the covered bridges that were made famous by the novel and the movie that followed. I crossed another dream off my unwritten bucket list when I stood on Roseman Bridge and touched the spot where farmer’s wife, Francesca (Meryl Streep), pinned a note inviting Robert (Clint Eastwood) to come for dinner “anytime the white moths fly”.

And here it is, the most viewed photo to appear on my blog thus far!