Health

HOOFING IT again!

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Once again, HOOFING IT, the annual CNETS (Canadian Neuroendocrine Tumour Society) fundraiser for NET cancer research, is up and running. Between June 1st and September 30th, 2026, the Canadian neuroendocrine cancer community will be working together to raise $60,000 to fund research grants! I wasn’t actually planning on participating this year as I really hate asking the same people for money again and again, but then I read about the recipients of last year’s grants and I was reminded just how important this campaign is. Without the research that led to the various treatments that I’ve received over the past 13 years since I was diagnosed with NETs, I probably wouldn’t be here today!

Once the shock of being diagnosed with a little known and poorly understood cancer, for which there is no cure, wore off, it became important to me to do what I could to raise awareness of the disease and to advocate for more research and greater access to improved diagnostics and treatment. I also believe that no one should have to fight cancer alone. That’s why I co-lead the Alberta NET patient support group and why I’m once again HOOFING IT to help raise funds for NET cancer research! 

 

In addition to raising money to fund much-needed research, the HOOFING IT campaign also encourages participants to be physically active. There is a component to the program that allows us to track a wide range of activities and to earn points for them. Some patients aren’t well enough to engage in physical activity though, so that part of HOOFING IT is entirely optional. Personally, I’m not concerned with tracking my activity or earning points. My goal is to walk or hike at least 5 days a week until the end of September and to raise a minimum of $1300, $100 for each year that I’ve been fighting this cancer.

That’s where you come in! If you’re able, I’m hoping that I can persuade you to visit my fundraising page and make a donation. Charitable donation receipts will be issued for all donations of $20 or more, but no amount is too small! Every cent that is received will be directed to neuroendocrine cancer research. We need to know what causes this disease. We need better diagnostics, more effective treatments, and ultimately, we need to find a cure!

Brave or resilient?

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As a cancer patient, I’ve often been told that I’m brave. I know that people mean well, but that descriptor has never sat very well with me. To me, brave is the firefighter who enters a burning building to save lives or the person who jumps into deep water to rescue someone in danger of drowning. Bravery is defined as the mental strength to face danger, fear, or difficulty. It’s often impulsive or heroic. That doesn’t describe me or my thirteen year journey with neuroendocrine cancer.

Recently, a person whose opinion I value highly told me, “You’re so resilient!” and that word rang true to me. Resilience is a long-term process best described as the ability to endure, adapt, and survive adversity and recover from difficult experiences.

Those who know me well know that I’m a self-professed word nerd. Words matter to me. For more than a decade, the word stable, as in “no evidence of new or progressive disease” which was the final line on my latest CT scan report, has been a favourite word of mine. Now resilient has become another favourite!

So, how does a person build resilience? Becoming resilient is a lifelong process, not a one-time event. Life is rarely easy for anyone. Most of us experience a variety of difficult and upsetting events and circumstances over our lifetimes and I’m certainly no exception. Long before I was diagnosed with cancer, I endured a series of other tragedies and traumas, including the loss of a preschool daughter to leukemia. In each case, I chose to keep putting one foot in front of the other and living life to the fullest extent possible. That wasn’t easy, it wasn’t brave, and I couldn’t have done it alone, but it did help prepare me for life with an incurable cancer. I learned to accept circumstances that I couldn’t change and I also learned to depend on the God who loves me and who promised to take care of me.

In 2 Corinthians 4:8–9, the apostle Paul, who suffered many hardships, wrote “We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.” That’s resilience!

What is self-care?

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This is a post that’s been rattling around in my head since I spoke at the ladies retreat at our church in April. I mentioned self-care in my afternoon talk that day, but I wanted to develop the idea more fully here.

First of all, I want to be very clear about what self-care isn’t. Self-care is not selfish! In fact, it’s essential. It helps us stay strong and healthy physically, mentally, and emotionally so that we’re able to handle the stresses of daily life and be there for others.

Self-care needs to be intentional. It’s much more than just a bubble bath or even a one-time spa escape, although those are wonderful ways to relax! Self-care involves making lifestyle choices that nurture body, mind, and spirit. It includes getting enough sleep, eating a nourishing diet, getting regular exercise, and seeking medical care when it’s needed. Self-care isn’t always glamorous or fun, but going to the dentist, starting a new exercise program, or choosing a reasonable bedtime are all ways of investing in your overall well-being.  

There’s much more to self-care than just taking care of our physical bodies though. As holistic beings self-care needs to address every aspect of our well-being. We need to make choices that also help us live well mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

There’s no one-size-fits-all when it comes to self-care, but there are some common factors. We’re fundamentally wired to be social beings. Close connections with other people are essential to our well-being. We need to make time to connect with family and friends, but most of us, especially those of us who are introverts, also need alone time. Like many things in life, it’s about finding the correct balance; balance that works for you and is good for your well-being.

Emotional self-care means taking care of your feelings; your inner wellness. It means means recognizing, understanding, and managing (not suppressing) your emotions. It includes actively challenging negative self-talk as well as knowing your limits and setting appropriate boundaries. It also involves taking time to relax. That might mean escaping into a good book, watching a favourite show, engaging in an enjoyable hobby, or spending time in nature. Pursuing fulfilling and meaningful activities that give your life meaning and purpose are also essential to emotional wellness.

I would be remiss if I didn’t also mention soul-care. Although there’s overlap between how we take care of our emotional and spiritual selves, soul-care also involves specific faith or tradition based practices that nurture our relationship with our Creator and allow Him to fill us. This might include scripture reading, prayer, meditation, or journalling as well as being part of a community that provides encouragement and accountability.

As strange as it might sound, one of the most spiritual things that we can do for ourselves is rest. That’s why God introduced the idea of Sabbath. There’s a big difference between being “tired” and being “depleted.” If we’re simply tired, a nap can solve the problem, but when we’re “depleted,” we need something more. So, if you find yourself feeling overworked, overwhelmed and over stressed this is your invitation to slow down and focus on how you might better engage in self-care. Quality self-care has been shown to improve mental health, enhance self-esteem and self-worth, increase optimism, and lessen symptoms of anxiety and depression. It can also help build resilience so you’re better equipped to handle life’s many stressors and challenges. 

Dressing intentionally for medical appointments

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It’s been quite awhile since I last published a fashion post or said anything about my health on here, so I today I thought I’d tell you how I dressed intentionally for two medical appointments earlier this week. I did, of course, want to look well put together for a trip to the city, but there were many other factors to consider as I reached into my closet that morning.

The first appointment was for an ultrasound on my left ankle to take a look at a growth that I noticed recently. It’s likely another schwannoma (benign nerve sheath tumour) like the one behind my left knee, but we need to know for sure that it isn’t something more worrisome. Since spring is finally here and the forecast called for a warm day, it made sense to wear sandals and pants that easily exposed my ankle for the test. Also, capri pants are back in style for 2026 which makes me very happy!

When we arrived at the Cross Cancer Institute for my second appointment, a routine CT scan to check on my neuroendocrine cancer, I had hubby snap a few quick photos for this post.

When I dress for these CT scans, there are many things that I take into consideration. First, there can be absolutely no metal on anything that I wear into the scanner. I have very few pairs of pants that don’t have metal on them somewhere… zippers, buttons, snaps, or grommets. I usually have to change into a pair of baggy hospital pj pants for my scans, but this particular pair of stretchy capris are completely metal-free. They were a win for both appointments!

The animal print t-shirt ticked several important boxes. Like the pants, it has no metal bits or pieces. I do wear an underwire bra though, so that has to come off. I could don a hospital gown, but I much prefer to wear my own top. In order to do that, I want it to be loose enough and made of dense enough fabric that the unfettered girls aren’t too obvious when I’m sitting in the waiting room. Also, I have to have an IV placed in the crook of my arm to deliver the contrast dye during my scan, so a cap-sleeved top like this one works well for that. This time, I also wanted to wear a top with a high neckline to cover two fairly large moles on my collarbone area that were burned with liquid nitrogen a week earlier as they were still looking pretty nasty.

The jean jacket was simply a topper to complete the outfit. It came off for the scan, of course.

Although I like my outfits to meet all five of my style adjectives… classy, casual, comfortable, confident, and authentic… the primary thought behind this one was practicality. It warmed my heart, however, when the receptionist at the first clinic told me that I looked elegant! Her compliment reminded me how easy it is to make a positive difference in someone’s day. She went on to comment specifically on my blue and silver earrings and brooch. If you look closely, you can see part of one of the earrings in this photo.

With the exception of my sandals, and earrings (and of course, my undergarments), this outfit was entirely thrifted. The brooch, which elevates the jean jacket from ordinary to eye-catching, cost me a whopping 25¢ several years ago!

Why Me? Coping with cancer and survivor’s guilt

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This has been a very hard week.

I think it’s common for people to ask “Why me?” when they’re diagnosed with cancer or another life threatening illness, but that wasn’t my experience. In fact, I clearly remember thinking, “Why not me?” After all, nearly 2 in 5 Canadians are expected to develop cancer at some point in their lives. Why wouldn’t I be one of them?

There are times though when I do ask “Why me?” When I walk into the cancer clinic for an appointment and see patients who are so much worse off than I am, I can’t help wondering why I’ve been so fortunate and they haven’t. Surviving longer, having an easier time with treatments, and/or experiencing fewer side effects often cause cancer patients like me to experience what’s known as survivor’s guilt. This is a complex emotional response where survivors feel guilty, sad or unworthy for living and recovering while others don’t.

Once again, this week has left me asking, “Why me?” In a period of less than 48 hours, we lost two very special people to cancer. One, our son-in-law’s younger sister, was a woman in her 40s whose youngest child is still in high school. The second was a very dear friend who we first met in 2013 when we were teaching English in China and her husband was on staff with us. As couples, we did many things together, even traveling and climbing the Great Wall together. Since they retired to Mexico several years ago, we’ve visited them several times and had many more interesting adventures together. Why is it that, almost 12 and a half years after being diagnosed with an incurable cancer, I continue to live a fairly normal and productive life while both these women suffered much more than I have and are gone less than a year after diagnosis? Logically, I know that their cancers were more aggressive than mine, but I can’t help asking why I’m still here and they are not.

There are, of course, no answers to these questions.  I can only conclude that God isn’t finished with me yet and determine to make good use of whatever time I have left. In fact, that’s one of the recommended ways of dealing with survivor’s guilt and I suspect it’s the reason that I’ve felt driven these past few years to do many of the things I do. Things like editing loan descriptions for Kiva, a nonprofit organization that facilitates microloans to help alleviate poverty in underprivileged areas of the world. Things like writing letters for a Christian prison ministry and helping lead a provincial patient support group. These are things that help me find purpose and meaning in survival.

I also know that guilt, including survivor’s guilt, is one of the common stages of grieving. As I grieve the losses that we’ve experienced this week, I know that it’s normal for me to be feeling this way right now and so I acknowledge the feeling and don’t despair.

Overcoming writer’s block and wishing you a Merry Christmas!

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The blog has been silent for more than two weeks and I can’t even blame it on the busyness of the season because we’ve kept our Christmas preparations very simple this year. No, it definitely hasn’t been that.

AI describes writer’s block as “a temporary inability to produce new work or a creative slowdown, characterized by feeling stuck, lacking ideas, or finding writing difficult, often stemming from anxiety, stress, perfectionism, or burnout, not a lack of skill.”

Feeling stuck… lacking ideas… stemming from anxiety and stress? Yes, I think that probably describes exactly what’s been happening! If you’re a regular reader of the blog, you already know that I had an ablation in mid November to destroy a cancerous tumour on my liver. After a few days of brain fog, loss of appetite, and absolute exhaustion, I started to feel better and although my energy level wasn’t quite what I was used to, I was soon back to all my normal activities.

Then, two weeks ago, I noticed signs that something wasn’t quite right. Blood tests showed that my liver enzymes were seriously elevated. I wasn’t in pain and I had no obvious signs of infection, so the cause was a mystery. That led to more blood tests, two unplanned trips to the city, a CT scan, a FibroScan (similar to an ultrasound), and two consultations with a very nice hepatologist (liver specialist). In a health care setting where it often takes months for a person to get a scan or see a specialist, I was amazed at how fast all of this happened and of course, my mind went to all kinds of worse case scenarios. Thankfully, to make a long story short, there is no sign of anything wrong with my liver and the specialist is convinced that what we’re seeing is simply effects of the tumour that was burned dying off. As a precaution, I’ll be having weekly blood tests until things return to normal.

Anytime the blog is silent for this length of time, I start to feel like I’m letting my regular readers down and I also know that some of you start to worry. Now that I’ve made myself sit down and write this, hopefully the creative juices will begin to flow again and I’ll get back into my regular routine of posting every Friday. Probably not this week though as we’ll be spending time with family and hope you will be too.

Living as far north as we do, I’m always delighted when the winter solstice arrives and we can begin looking forward to the days getting longer again. I admit to being a little jealous when our oldest son, who lives in North Vancouver, sent me photos of roses in bloom earlier this week! We had a blizzard on Wednesday, so we’re living in a very white world right now. This is what Christmas looks like to me though!

Wherever you’re celebrating this season and whether you have a white Christmas or not, I hope you’re warmed by the love of family and friends and I wish you a very Merry Christmas!

Keeping Christmas simple

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If you came to the blog last Friday looking for a new post and didn’t find one, I apologize. If you could have looked through your screen all the way to our house, you would have seen me curled up on the couch under a soft, cozy blanket that our granddaughter gave me for Christmas a few years ago. Listening carefully, you might have heard hubby in the kitchen trying to rustle up a meal for us even though cooking is not his forté. On Monday of that week, I’d had an ablation to destroy a neuroendocrine tumour on my liver and it took far more out of me than I expected.

In her follow-up report, the specialist described the procedure as a “technically challenging CT guided ablation” and challenging it was! Instead of the 3 hours that I was originally told I’d be at the hospital, I was there for over 15! As often happens with these tightly scheduled appointments, there was a delay in getting started, but it was the location of my tumour that made the procedure such a challenge. It took a very long time for her to place the probe in exactly the right location to fry the tumour. So long, in fact, that I was beginning to think that it wasn’t going to happen.

Yes, you heard that right! Although some sedation was provided to help me relax, I was awake and aware of what was going on throughout the entire procedure. Definitely not fun, but necessary so that I could inhale, exhale, and hold my breath at the right moments to help with the precise placement of the probe.

After it was finally over, we ended up having to stay at the hospital much longer than anticipated because my oxygen level dropped, possibly a reaction to pain medication. Two extremely caring nurses stayed well beyond the end of their shift to monitor and care for me, but late in the evening I was transferred to emergency. It was after midnight by the time my oxygen level was finally back to normal and we were allowed to leave. Thankfully, we were only driving across the city to our son’s place and coming home the following day!

The first few days at home are a bit of a blur. I wasn’t in much pain, but there was brain fog, loss of appetite, and absolute exhaustion. Although hubby did his best in the kitchen and I tried to force myself to eat, I lost seven pounds in less than a week. Once things began to turn around, I started to worry about how we’d possibly be ready to celebrate Christmas in just a month’s time and to beat myself up for not being better prepared in advance.

That’s what today’s post was actually meant to be about… keeping Christmas simple! Somehow, over the years, celebrating the season came to mean trying to do too much too perfectly, but lying on the couch, I had a lot of time to think about what Christmas means to me and which of our traditions matter most. At one point, I turned to hubby and asked if he’d mind very much if we didn’t bother putting up the tree this year. He said he was fine with that, so unless I get a sudden burst of energy and change my mind, it’s going remain in storage. I do plan to do some simple decorating this weekend, beginning with our nativity sets as they represent what this season is really all about. I’ll miss the lights on the tree, but some soft candlelight and a string of tiny twinkling lights will do. 

Christmas wouldn’t be Christmas without my mother’s shortbread and the nuts and bolts that have been a family favourite since I was a child so I’ll be making those, but if I decide that we need more baking than that, I’ll be buying it this year. 

We already simplified Christmas shopping last year by transitioning from purchasing individual gifts for each of our grown children, their spouses, and all eight grandchildren to giving family gifts instead. That’s a new tradition that we plan to continue and I’ve already informed the kids that this year’s gifts might be monetary. Without the pressure of trying to find the perfect gift for each person on our list, we’re enjoying shopping for small stocking stuffers for the son and family who will be hosting us for Christmas this year.    

As I contemplated what I love most about Christmas, I realized that connecting with people is top of the list. In addition to spending a few days with our son’s family over Christmas, we’re planning a mid December visit with our daughter and hers. While my energy level hasn’t returned to normal yet and I’m going to have to be careful not to overdo, I’m also looking forward to a few select events with friends. The first, this evening, will be a ladies Christmas banquet and fashion show in a nearby community. 

While I was lying on the couch last week, my Christmas cactus bloomed. It often produces profusely at this time of year, but this time there was just one blossom! It too, seemed to be saying, “let’s keep things simple this year!” In keeping with that thought, I’m going to be intentional about carving out more time on the couch with my cozy blanket, a hot drink (or maybe a glass of wine), a candle burning, and a Hallmark movie on TV or a book in my lap.   

Image: ChatGPT

 

The great zebra debate

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There’s a great debate in neuroendocrine cancer circles over the use of the zebra as our symbol. At one extreme are patients, usually women, who show up at meetings and conferences decked out from head to toe in zebra stripes and who refer to one another as fellow zebras. On the other side of the debate, the world’s best known and most highly revered patient advocate is so opposed to the idea that he doesn’t allow anything zebra on his social media sites. He thinks that it’s an infantile gimmick that trivializes the grave nature of our disease and that it’s actually detrimental as an awareness tool.

So, how did the zebra become our symbol in the first place? In North America, medical students are taught “when hearing hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.” Neuroendocrine tumours (NETS) are very difficult to diagnose. The symptoms are usually vague and similar to more common health problems. Many family doctors have never encountered a NETS patient so when they’re presented with symptoms like stomach pain and diarrhea, they naturally think of things like Irritable Bowel Syndrome, Crohn’s Disease or lactose intolerance. They think of “horses”, not “zebras”.

When it comes to the great zebra debate, I stand somewhere in the middle. I think we need to take advantage of every available opportunity to draw attention to our cause and if that includes zebra stripes, I’m fine with that. After all, branding works. For example, the pink ribbon and the colour itself have become highly recognized symbols of breast cancer. While you’ll never see me wearing zebra stripes from head to toe, partly because I think it looks silly and partly because I don’t look good in black and white, I do have a zebra striped top in cream and brown and on occasion, wearing it has led to a conversation about my cancer.

Although within weeks of learning that I had neuroendocrine cancer, I wrote a blog post entitled I’m a zebra!, I’ve now joined the ranks of those who cringe at being called that. Referring to ourselves as zebras makes it sound like we’re part of an exclusive club or a cult! Zebra refers to a diagnosis, not a person. While I have NET cancer, I am not my disease.

In my advocacy role and as a support group leader, I work with patients on both sides of the great zebra debate. I would really like to know your opinion. Do you think that symbols like the zebra and the striped ribbon can be effective in spreading awareness of a disease? Or do you think that they’re silly and make light of an important topic? Please leave a comment and let me know.

And, in closing, although it has very little to do with today’s topic, I can’t resist sharing the cover of the January 15, 1926 issue of Vogue magazine!

NET Cancer Day 2025

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Once again, today is NET Cancer Day. November 10th is a day set aside to increase awareness of neuroendocrine cancer and to promote improved diagnostics, treatments, care, and research, but for those of us who live with the disease, every day is NET Cancer Day.

Here are a few alarming facts that point out why a day like today is vital:

  • Over 90% of all NET patients are incorrectly diagnosed and initially treated for the wrong disease!
  • The average time from onset of symptoms to correct diagnosis often exceeds 5 years!
  • Over 50% of NET patients are already at stage 3 or 4 when diagnosed!
  • Many primary care physicians are unfamiliar with NETS and some still falsely believe that it isn’t even cancer!

These are just some of the reasons that I have become involved in patient advocacy over the past couple of years. Once considered a rare disease, NETS has become the fastest growing class of cancer worldwide. Although the reasons for this aren’t fully understood, it’s likely due to increasing awareness and better diagnostics.

In addition to my role as a member of the CNETS (Canadian Neuroendocrine Tumour Society) Advocacy Advisory Board, I’ve become actively involved in trying to improve the patient experience in a number of other ways. I had the opportunity to participate as a patient representative in an Ipsen project to design an injection toolkit to make the experience easier for patients who are newly prescribed the medication that I receive every 28 days. Ipsen is the pharmaceutical company that produces the drug.

Also, if you’ve been reading my blog you know that I participated in this summer’s CNETS “Hoofing It” fundraiser. With the generous support of many, including some of you who read the blog, we managed to raise over $40,000 for NET cancer research here in Canada. An additional bonus for me was the fact that the “hoofing it” that I committed to as part of this initiative got me out walking almost every day. Now that the campaign is over and the weather has turned cold, daily walking has become a habit and I’ve dusted off the treadmill in the basement so that I can keep it up over the winter!

Another big opportunity came my way earlier this year when I was asked to co-lead the CNETS Alberta patient support group that meets online once a month. This really was a big step for me as I’d never been part of a support group before! Every month I hear stories from patients who were initially misdiagnosed, who feel confused or unheard, whose symptoms have been minimized or dismissed as all in their head, who feel lost trying to navigate the health care system, or who don’t know how to advocate for themselves. More than ever, I’ve come to realize how badly we need to continue raising awareness and promoting better diagnostics, treatments, care, and research. One day a year just isn’t enough!

And now, on a more personal note, you may remember that in my 12 year cancerversary post at the end of August, I mentioned the latest tumour on my liver. A week from today, on November 17th, I’ll be having a CT guided ablation to destroy it. A needle-like probe will be inserted through my abdomen and into the tumour where it will deliver microwave energy to kill the cancer. This is done as a day procedure, but I’ll be required to stay in the city overnight in case of complications. I’m not sure what the recovery will entail, but hopefully I’ll be back on the treadmill before long!

 

Book of the month – October 2025

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When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress

Gabor Maté, MD

In this international bestseller, renowned mental health expert and speaker, Dr. Gabor Maté, provides insight into the critical role that stress and emotions play in the development of many common diseases.

Although written for a general audience, When the Body Says No definitely wouldn’t be everybody’s cup of tea. It’s like reading a textbook, but my daughter and I both read it recently and when I discovered that another friend was also reading it, I decided that it might appeal to more of you and that it would be worth reviewing here.

Dr. Maté has experience as a family practitioner and a palliative care physician and has also worked with the addicted men and women of Vancouver’s Downtown Eastside. He weaves together scientific research, numerous case histories, and his own insights and experience to explain the relationship between psychological stress and the onset of chronic illnesses including arthritis, cancer, diabetes, multiple sclerosis, Alzheimer’s disease, and heart disease. While I don’t agree with everything he says and he definitely needs to update the section on prostate cancer (the book was published in 2003 ), a lot of it makes very good sense. 

What I liked best was the fact that Dr. Maté validated what I have believed for years; that the stress I endured prior to and especially during the early decades of our marriage and the anger that I suppressed during those years contributed to my present health conditions. In fact, the author would probably say that they caused my cancers. As he says, all of us probably have within our bodies the occasional rogue cell that could multiply and become cancer. In most cases, the body has the resources to destroy those cells before they spread, but chronic stress and repressed anger reduce the body’s ability to do that and magnify the risk of developing the disease.  

In the final chapter of the book, Dr. Maté addresses what he calls the seven A’s of healing: acceptance, awareness, anger, autonomy, attachment, assertion, and affirmation. He believes that pursuing these will help us grow into emotional competence and empower us to be our own health advocates.

Note:  This book was published in the US under the title When the Body Says No: Exploring the Stress-Disease Connection.