Faith

What to do when life seems overwhelming

/ edebock / 12 Comments

What do you do when life seems overwhelming?

Overwhelmedphoto

Recent circumstances have resulted in us leaving the church that was our strong support system for many years. We’re living in the midst of a home renovation project gone very wrong and trying to figure out how to deal with that. I’m off to the city early next week to see a specialist about a lump growing on my gums that my dentist hasn’t been able to find the cause of. We’re moving into the busiest season of the year for me in one of the volunteer positions that I hold. And to top it off, we seem to be living through the winter that will never end.

You’ve probably lived through similar seasons. Maybe you’re there right now. You may be dealing with an enormous stressor such as job loss or the death of a loved one or it might simply be an accumulation of smaller aggravations that have left you feeling completely swamped.

So what should we do when life leaves us feeling like we’ve reached the end of our rope?

If you’re a young parent, you probably feel this way a lot of the time and with very good reason! I asked my daughter what her advice would be and her reply was, “In my case the answer is don’t bite off more than you can chew!” That’s good advice for all of us. Sometimes we’re the cause of our own stressful predicaments. We simply take on more than we can handle. None of us has an infinite amount of time available, so perhaps in those cases the answer is learning to prioritize, learning better time management skills, or simply learning to say No!

But what can we do when we’re overwhelmed by circumstances that are beyond our control? I’m reminded of a dear friend who often asks, “In the light of eternity, does this really matter?” Sometimes we need to take a step back and look at the situation from a wider perspective. Yes, the new ceiling surface that was applied throughout the main floor of our house on Saturday is a superb example of shoddy workmanship and will have to be redone. We’re not sure how or when that’s going to happen. As stressful and aggravating as that is, it isn’t life threatening and years down the road, it won’t seem as big a deal as it does right now.

The lump on my gum, however, could be a big deal. When you’re a cancer patient, any inexplicable lump or bump is reason for concern, but the same wise friend once reminded me that 99% of the things we worry about never come to pass and all the worrying in the world won’t prevent the other 1%.

Whether we’re overwhelmed by the busyness of life, legitimate concerns, or distressing circumstances that are not of our own making, there are things we can do to help alleviate stress when it threatens to overcome us. What works for me, might not necessarily work for you, but here are a few suggestions to try.

  1. Focus on getting through one day or even one hour at a time. Matthew 6:34 gives this wise advice, “Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.“
  2. Don’t skip meals. When I’m severely stressed my appetite is the first to go, but our bodies need fuel. Eat regularly to avoid low blood sugar, fatigue, and brain fog.
  3. Drink a cup of tea. My automatic response to crisis situations has long been to brew a pot of tea, but now studies conducted in the UK have actually shown that drinking a single cup of tea can significantly reduce anxiety levels after suffering a stressful experience.
  4. Escape. Go for a walk or a drive in the country, lose yourself in a good book, get out of the office over your lunch hour. Do whatever it takes to get away from the stressful situation even for a short time.
  5. Exercise. According to experts at the Mayo Clinic, exercise in almost any form acts as a stress reliever, providing a distraction from worry and boosting the production of endorphins, the brain’s feel-good neurotransmitters.
  6. Pray. Prayer is an age old stress reliever that doesn’t require a prescription! Taking a few quiet moments to pray can help you gain perspective and find peace in the midst of turmoil. When the situation is so overwhelming that you can’t even find the words to pray, remember that Romans 8:26 tells us that “We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.“
  7. Soak in a hot bath. Add a few drops of lavender oil which is commonly known for its relaxing effects on the body.
  8. Sleep. It may be difficult to quiet your mind enough to get to sleep when life seems overwhelming, but getting a good night’s rest should be a priority. A cup of chamomile tea half an hour before bedtime is widely regarded as a mild tranquilizer and sleep-inducer. Lavender oil can also be helpful here. Rub 2 or 3 drops on the palms of your hands and inhale deeply then wipe your palms on your pillow to leave a hint of lavender there.
  9. Don’t try to handle everything on your own. Delegate, ask for help, share your struggles. When stress doesn’t go away, and you’ve tried your best to manage it, you may need talk to a doctor or mental health professional about it. There’s absolutely no shame in that.

Sometimes it’s hard to be humble

/ edebock / 5 Comments

One of the characteristics of grace listed in yesterday’s post was “acts with humility, not pride.” As I pondered my One Word for 2018 and asked myself how I’m doing at becoming a woman of grace, I was also challenged to examine myself and wonder how I measure up in the area of humility.

The Bible has plenty to say about being humble. The book of Proverbs contains many warnings for those who refuse to put others before themselves and both the Old and New Testaments tell of blessings for those who do. Colossians 3:12 has become my life guide. “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.”

There’s an old country and western song that says, “Oh Lord it’s hard to be humble when you’re perfect in every way!” I’ve also heard it said that if you think you’re humble, you probably aren’t. So how can we know if we’re humble or not?

After much reading and pondering, I came up with the following 20 characteristics of a humble person. I’m sure it’s not exhaustive, but I think it’s a reasonably good checklist.

A humble person…

  1. is not boastful
  2. is able to set aside personal preferences for the sake of others
  3. treats others with respect
  4. is not easily offended
  5. is grateful for what they have
  6. is able to rejoice with others
  7. is not wise in their own eyes
  8. is teachable
  9. is able to seek advice or ask for help
  10. willingly serves other people without drawing attention to themselves
  11. accepts their own limitations
  12. accepts correction without becoming defensive
  13. takes responsibility for their actions and apologizes when wrong
  14. is merciful, forgiving quickly and not holding grudges
  15. doesn’t get frustrated with the weaknesses of others
  16. is self-controlled
  17. listens to others and doesn’t feel the need to speak their mind in every situation
  18. is comfortable allowing others to have centre stage
  19. doesn’t always have to be right
  20. doesn’t insist on their own way

In a “me first” world, it isn’t always easy to be humble and there are many misconceptions about what it means. In the same way that being gracious is not the same as being wishy-washy or weak-kneed, humility is not a sign of weakness. Being humble is not belittling or undervaluing oneself, nor is it an indication of poor self-esteem. Like grace, humility is actually a strength.

Humility

Growing in grace

/ edebock / 1 Comment

With a thick blanket of snow still on the ground, it’s hard to believe that it’s the middle of March already. We’re two and a half months into a new year and an incident this week reminded me of my One Word for 2018.

Grace.

How am I doing? My initial response indicated to me that I still have some growing to do in order to become the woman of grace that I would like to be.  It also prompted me to think about what that woman would look like. How would she respond in challenging situations where it’s sometimes difficult to show grace?

Almost three years ago, Christian author, speaker, and Bible teacher, Kathy Howard, penned this list of 15 characteristics of grace (compiled from passages in Ephesians and 1 Corinthians) on her blog.

A person of grace…

  1. Doesn’t insist on being right, but seeks to make things right
  2. Is willing to be inconvenienced
  3. Seeks the welfare of the other person
  4. Speaks words that build up, not tear down
  5. Doesn’t demand to be heard, but strives to listen
  6. Focuses on others needs instead of their own
  7. Acts with humility, not pride
  8. Doesn’t keep score
  9. Looks for ways to help and encourage others
  10. Freely forgives
  11. Seeks to understand
  12. Doesn’t expect a return
  13. Focuses on the important over the urgent
  14. Doesn’t pick and choose whom to show grace
  15. Doesn’t overlook sin, but encourages holiness

I would also add…

16. Doesn’t always have to have the last word

After this week’s incident, I think perhaps I need to focus on #4. I consider myself quite gifted with words, but it’s a gift that can be used positively or negatively. I can speak life or condemnation. It’s pretty easy for me to write a scathing response to something that irritates or upsets me, but as a person of grace I would choose to use gentler words.

Does this mean that a gracious person is wishy-washy? Absolutely not! It’s entirely possible to be strong, even assertive, and yet still be gracious. Jesus was a perfect example.

That thought brings me to #7, another area for self-examination. Humility. But that will be the topic of another post.

grace not perfection

 

One word for 2018

/ edebock / 12 Comments

A year ago, as part of a ministry that I was involved in, I was asked to choose one word to inspire or guide me in the coming year and to choose a scripture verse to go along with it. As a lover of words, this was a perfect assignment for me! I have since learned that there’s a whole #OneWord365 movement on the internet urging members to choose just one word to focus on every day, all year long; a word that sums up who they want to be or how they want to live.

Last year, my one word was still and the Bible verse I chose to accompany it was Psalm 46:10. “Be still and know that I am God.”

This year, I decided to repeat the exercise with a new word for 2018. After much consideration, I chose the word grace. I would like to be known and remembered as a woman of grace. The scripture passage that has become my life guide in recent times is Colossians 3:12. Though it doesn’t actually use the word, I think it epitomizes grace. “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.”

There are, of course, many Bible verses that do include the word grace. One that comes quickly to mind, especially so close on the heels of the Christmas season, is John 1:14. “The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.” Christ was full of grace! I want this to be a year when I become a little more like Him; a little more compassionate, kind, humble, gentle and patient. This year, I want to be intentional (that’s another word I considered as my one word for 2018) about offering grace to other people in practical ways.

In order to do that, I also need to look at what grace is not. Grace is not simply being nice. It’s not a peace at all costs, everything’s okay, and who am I to judge mentality. Sometimes grace includes confronting difficult issues and not shying away from controversial subjects. Sometimes it means talking honestly about the ugly, painful, and sordid struggles in our lives. It is honouring the dignity of others even when I don’t agree with them or their choices. Thankfully, offering this kind of grace is not something that I have to figure out how to do on my own.

When C.S. Lewis was asked to identify the one thing about Christianity that sets it apart from all other religions, he responded, ″Oh, that’s easy. It’s grace.″ Biblical grace is the unmerited favour of God bestowed freely on all who choose to access it by accepting Jesus Christ as their Lord and Saviour. This year and every year, I can rest in God’s gentle, extravagant, audacious grace, knowing that He is God Almighty and I am His beloved daughter. It is He who enables me to offer grace to others.

“Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”  Hebrews 4:16

One Word 2018

What about you? Can you think of one word to inspire or guide you in this new year?

Ten years of blogging!

/ edebock / 6 Comments

Ten years ago today I published my very first blog post! It was also the shortest post I’ve ever written and the message was very simple:

Richard and I have just accepted positions teaching conversational English in Japan. This is a one year commitment and we’ll be leaving in mid March. The main purpose of this blog is to share our adventure with friends, family and anyone else who’s interested.

Little did I expect to still be blogging ten years later! I anticipated that Following Augustine would only exist for the year that we would be in Asia. In fact, that’s why I chose the title. Augustine BeArce, a Romany Gypsy, was the first of my ancestors to cross the Atlantic Ocean from Europe and make his home in North America. 370 years later when I crossed the Pacific Ocean and settled for a time on the far side of the sea, it only seemed right to give credit to Augustine and the Gypsy blood that I inherited from him!

I’ve always been passionate about writing though and by the time our year in Japan came to an end, I knew that blogging was something I would continue to do indefinitely. What I didn’t know was what it would look like once I was no longer living in a foreign land. For lack of a better definition, I now refer to Following Augustine as a lifestyle, travel, and fashion blog, but one of my readers once called it a great advertisement for retirement!

Over the past decade, life has taken many unusual turns, some delightful and others deeply distressing. Following Augustine has been there through all the ups and downs.

We love to travel and the blog has recorded trips across Canada, into the United States, and to numerous other countries. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever expect to live in the People’s Republic of China though, but our five months there gave me plenty to write about. China’s internet censorship made it a bit more challenging to post from there, but thankfully, with the help of WordPress, I discovered a way to successfully break through or over the “Great Firewall” and continue blogging.

Cancer was never part of my plan either, but when it struck, the blog became a good way to process what was happening and to share it with friends and family. I’ve also used it as a way to raise awareness of NETS (neuroendocrine tumours), the little-known and often misdiagnosed cancer that I continue to deal with. My life is not all about my health, however, so neither is the blog. It’s about living life to the fullest in spite of all its challenges.

A couple of years ago, I became interested in fashion blogging and so the weekly Fashion Friday feature was born, not as a “look what I’m wearing today” narcissistic sort of thing, but as a way to connect with other women and to explore how the ways in which we present ourselves affect our lives. It has had the added benefit of ensuring that I write something at least once a week.

I am a Christ follower and I have fairly strong and not always popular or politically correct opinions on certain issues. I haven’t shied away from sharing those on the blog, but I’m committed to doing so with as much wisdom as God allows me, with integrity and with respect for those whose opinions differ from mine.

When I published that first post ten years ago, our daughter was expecting our first grandchild, so over the years five little people have appeared on the blog from time to time. I’m off to visit three of them this weekend and the other two for Christmas, so it’s possible that they might show up again soon!

What does the future hold for Following Augustine? I have no idea, but I’ve now written 882 posts and I don’t see them coming to an end anytime soon!

3224919

Pray for the persecuted church

/ edebock / Leave a comment

As President of our local church’s Missions Council, one of the things that I do is present a short Missions Moment during the worship service every Sunday morning. These 3 or 4 minute messages are meant to give our congregation a global perspective and a feeling of connection to what’s happening on the mission field around the world. Though the response to these messages is always positive, one occasionally resonates particularly strongly with my listeners. This morning’s message was one of those and so I decided that perhaps I should share it more widely.

This seems especially timely considering the fact that as we joined Christians around the world in praying for the persecuted church this morning, 27 of our brothers and sisters lost their lives and more than two dozen others were injured in a horrific church shooting in Sutherland Springs, Texas.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

November 5 and 12 have been set aside as International Days of Prayer for the Persecuted Church.

At least 200 million Christians worldwide are being persecuted for their faith. Christian persecution is any hostility experienced as a result of one’s identification as a Christian. From verbal harassment to hostile feelings, attitudes and actions, Christians in areas with severe religious restrictions pay a heavy price for their faith. Beatings, physical torture, confinement, isolation, rape, severe punishment, imprisonment, slavery, discrimination in education and employment, and even death are just a few examples of the persecution they experience on a daily basis.

Every month an average of 322 Christians are killed for their faith and 214 churches and Christian properties are destroyed.

The number one thing that persecuted Christians ask for is prayer.

The Bible calls us to be a voice for the voiceless. Psalm 82:3-4 says, “Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless; maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed. Rescue the weak and needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked.”

As Christians, we are called to take a stand for our persecuted brothers and sisters in Christ. Hebrews 13:3 says, “Remember those in prison as if you were their fellow prisoners, and those who are mistreated as if you yourselves were suffering.”

Praying for Christians who are being persecuted for their faith may be the easy part of what I’m asking of you today. I also want to suggest that we pray for the perpetrators; the ones who are doing the persecuting. The Bible tells us to pray for our enemies. They need to experience the unconditional love of Jesus every bit as much as we do. Remember that the apostle Paul was once the greatest persecutor of Christians. He was on his way to bring violence against believers when Jesus showed up on the Damascus Road. God used this man, known for his hatred of Christians, in mighty ways to spread His gospel and plant His church. He can still do that today, so let’s pray and ask Him to radically show up in the lives and hearts of the persecutors. Pray against the evil but for those who commit it. Pray that they would come to know God and His forgiveness.

Throughout this week, let’s focus on praying for both those who are persecuted and those who persecute them. 

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

For more information and resources pertaining to the persecuted church, visit https://www.opendoorsusa.org/.

 

I want to be a love letter!

/ edebock / 2 Comments

“You yourselves are our letter, written on our hearts, known and read by everyone. You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts.”

During my devotions one morning last week, this passage, written by the apostle Paul to the early church at Corinth (2 Corinthians 3:2-3), stood out to me as never before. In fact, it practically jumped off the page and I’ve been pondering it ever since.

What does it mean to be a letter from Christ, known and read by everyone? Am I such a letter and, if so, what does that letter say to those who read it?

I want to be a love letter from Christ! 

Writing letters is rapidly becoming a dying art, but imagine days gone by when handwritten letters carried words of love to distant sweethearts. People took time to put pen to paper and pour out their thoughts. Letters were treasured, read time and again, tied up in ribbons and kept for decades. Why? Because they made the recipient feel cherished, valued, loved.

How can I be a love letter from Christ?

How can my life have that kind of impact? How can it demonstrate God’s love for those I encounter?

Colossians 3:12 comes to mind. It’s been my theme verse for the past few years.

“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.”

Perhaps those characteristics are the ink with which to write my life, my love letter from Christ. Compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.

love letter

Reflections

/ edebock / 2 Comments

IMG_5122 - Version 2

I’ve been reflecting a lot on last week’s post about what it means to be an evangelical Christian; a teller of good news.

Why? Why do we, as evangelical Christians, believe that it is our responsibility to share our faith with others? Not every faith does this. So why do we?

Well, first of all, as I mentioned last week, the Bible very clearly instructs us to. “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.” (Matthew 28:19-20) 

But why? Why does the Bible tell us to do that?

Is it to earn Brownie points with God? To earn our way into heaven? Sadly, there are faiths that take that approach, but that is not true Christianity.

Is it to grow our churches? To put more butts in our pews? To add dollars to our offering plates? I certainly hope not for that is not true Christianity either!

Is it to attempt to make the rest of the world more like us? Again, I hope not! Sadly, some early Christian missionaries equated evangelizing with Westernizing, but that was never God’s intent nor should it be ours.

It all comes down to that Greek word, euangelion, which means good news.

After all, if you have good news, aren’t you eager to tell someone? If you found the cure to cancer, wouldn’t you want to share it?

We believe that we have found something even better, the key to living an abundant life now and forever! Jesus said it himself. ” I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.” Isn’t that news worth sharing?

Is it arrogant to believe that we have found the one true way? It might seem that way, but if there is really one true God, doesn’t it make sense that he might offer one true way? Isn’t it at least worth considering? The opportunity to do that is what the true evangelical Christian is offering.

Jesus also said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.”

 

What is an Evangelical Christian anyway?

/ edebock / 5 Comments

Christian terminology can be confusing even to Christians. We have a tendency to use words that aren’t part of the everyday vernacular of most people and sometimes we don’t even agree on what they mean!

When the word evangelical entered the conversation at our dinner table recently, a non-Christian guest asked what it meant. I was embarrassed to admit that I couldn’t readily come up with a clear and concise definition off the top of my head.

Then came the media reports of unprecedented flooding when Hurricane Harvey slammed into the coast of Texas forcing more than 30 000 people from their homes and leaving the area in a devastating state of emergency. When it came to light that Lakewood Church, one of the largest churches in the United States, pastored by televangelist Joel Osteen, allegedly refused to open their doors to hurricane victims seeking shelter, the media had a heyday. Mainstream and social media immediately began to paint all evangelical Christians with the same brush. Ignoring the fact that hundreds of them were, in fact, slogging through the mud and water striving to bring help and hope where it was so badly needed, evangelicals everywhere were suddenly uncaring hypocrites.

Please don’t get me wrong! If Lakewood Church did, in fact, turn a blind eye to those in dire need, they acted in a most unChristlike manner and deserve no one’s sympathy. Personally, due to conflicting news reports, I have no idea what really happened at Lakewood or why. I do know that I have problems with Joel Osteen’s theology as he preaches what is often referred to as the “prosperity gospel” or “health and wellness gospel” which teaches that that financial blessing and physical well-being will always come to those who have enough faith. This could not be further from the message of the Bible. Rather than guaranteeing them a life of ease, Christ told his followers that “In this life you will have trouble.” (John 16:33) If wealth was a legitimate goal for the Christian, Jesus would have pursued it himself. Instead, he was a poor itinerant teacher with “no place to lay his head.” (Matthew 8:20) In fact, the only disciple who concerned himself with financial wealth was Judas Iscariot.

I am not here, however, to defend or attack Lakewood Church or their pastor. I simply want to correct my own shortcoming and ensure that from now on when I use a term like evangelical, I know for sure what I’m talking about and can clearly communicate it to someone else!

So what exactly is an evangelical Christian?

Christian is the easy part. The term, first used in Acts 11:26, simply means a follower of Jesus Christ. But what makes us evangelicals?

That term comes from the Greek “euangelion” which means good news. An evangelical Christian, then, is simply a follower of Christ who believes that it is important to tell others the good news that through his death on the cross, Jesus Christ paid the penalty for our sins and that by his resurrection, he conquered death and provides everlasting life to all who follow him. It is a message of divine intervention; a message of hope for mankind who, no matter how hard we try, cannot save ourselves.

In the public arena, however, the phrase evangelical Christian is used in different ways, some of them derogatory. For some, it is simply a title used to differentiate between Christian denominations. Generally speaking, evangelical denominations are those that believe that the Bible is the inerrant word of God and that individual believers must accept Christ’s gift of salvation for themselves and enter into a personal relationship with God. For others, the term is equivalent to “wing nut”, “intolerant extremist”, or “right-wing, fundamentalist Republican”. There is no doubt that holding to the fundamentals of the Bible will result in a certain worldview, but being an evangelical Christian most definitely does not demand allegiance to a specific political party!

In reality, all Christians should be evangelical Christians; tellers of good news! The Bible very clearly instructs us “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.” (Matthew 28:19-20) 

Good news!!

/ edebock / 16 Comments

Good news

Four years post diagnosis, there are times when I almost forget that I have an incurable cancer. It’s no longer the first thing I think of when I wake up every morning and I’m sure there are days when it doesn’t even cross my mind.

Then there are days like today; days when it jumps to the forefront again. This morning started with CT scans of my head, neck, chest, and abdomen. Several hours later, we sat down with my doctor to discuss the results. I had no reason to anticipate bad news, but we’re fully aware that at any time the treatment could stop working. New growths could appear or tumours that have shrunk could start growing again. Someday, we probably will receive that kind of news, but not today!

Today, my doctor called me a “poster child” for the PRRT treatment protocol that I’ve been on since September 2014. He’s as delighted as we are with how well it’s been working for me. The largest tumour on my liver is noticeably smaller today than it was six months ago. The other remaining tumours appear unchanged and there are no new growths!

Quality of life is an important factor in cancer treatment and Dr. MacEwan is always delighted to hear that mine continues to be superb. It’s only days like this one that remind me that I have cancer! The rest of the time I’m busy living life to the fullest and with utmost gratitude to my amazing medical team, my many faithful praying friends, and the God who promised to take care of me on this journey.