Faith

Bethlehem Walk

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We went to Bethlehem today without ever leaving Alberta! West Edmonton Christian Assembly, just off Anthony Henday Drive on the western outskirts of the city, is hosting its second annual Bethlehem Walk and it was well worth the four hours of driving to get there and back. 81 000 square feet of indoor space have been converted into the streets and shops of ancient Bethlehem. More than 450 volunteers dressed in period costumes add authenticity to the scene.

We started with the shepherds in the fields outside Bethlehem where angels high above our heads sang out the good news of the Messiah’s birth. Inside the gates, the streets of Bethlehem were crowded just as they were on that first Christmas some 2000 years ago. Wandering from shop to shop, we enjoyed the sights, sounds, tastes and smells of the busy town. We sampled dates, honey, buns and tea; smelled frankincense, soap and spices; watched the potter kneading clay and saw wheat being ground into flour and olives being pressed for oil.

   

I lingered longest in the stable behind the Bethlehem Inn. There, amidst the pens of goats, sheep, donkeys and oxen… yes, live goats, sheep, donkeys and oxen… we found Mary, Joseph and the wee baby Jesus. When we arrived, he was sound asleep in the manger. I was especially moved by the little golden haired girl who stood in wonder and repeatedly asked, “Is he real?” Yes, sweetheart, He is real! I thought as I remembered the line from my favourite Christmas song…

Mighty God and fragile baby, here a lowly manger holds.
And it’s still the greatest story ever told.

This, I thought, is what Christmas is really all about and I stayed until the baby woke.

Moving on, we passed the blacksmith making nails and, finally, the cross maker chiselling and forming crosses to be used by the oppressive Roman authorities to execute criminals on; not by choice, he hastened to tell us, but because the Romans had conscripted him to do so. Locating the blacksmith and the cross maker immediately following the stable was clearly the result of careful planning and was very effective. After all, what is Christmas without Easter? the manger without the cross?

 

What influences your sense of self-worth?

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This post has been brewing for awhile. In fact, I started it once, discarded it and now I’m starting it again. Richard and I are doing a weekly Bible study with two other couples using Charles F. Stanley’s How to Reach Your Full Potential for God. One of last week’s questions resulted in some serious self examination.

What influences your sense of self-worth?

The study guide offered the following list of possible responses:

  • ___  entertainment
  • ___  relationships
  • ___  education
  • ___  hobbies
  • ___  goals
  • ___  possessions
  • ___  employment
  • ___  appearance
  • ___  service
  • ___  God
  • ___  other: ______________

I don’t have a problem with low self-esteem. In fact, I feel pretty darn good about myself. Many factors on this list contribute to that: healthy, affirming relationships; hobbies like writing and drama; and of course, my relationship with God, to name just a few.

At the bottom of the list, my “other” is my children. I am so proud of the fine young adults that they’ve become and it irks me when people say “You’re so lucky that your kids turned out so well”. I have news for you, folks! It isn’t luck! Parenting well is hard work. I know that there are no guarantees and even some of the best parents have troubled kids but I believe that I (we) did a great job and yes, knowing that definitely adds to my feelings of self-worth.

So why is it that something as superficial as appearance influences my sense of self-worth so strongly? The next question in the study guide asked “In what areas of life are you most likely to compare yourself to others?” and I had to admit to myself that for me it was appearance. I know that this is true of women in general but why? This question has led to a lot of soul searching on my part.

Donloree onstage

One of my favourite bloggers is figure competitor, Donloree Hoffman of Bikini or Bust. As I’ve followed her blog for the past year, I’ve come to the conclusion that I, too, am a figure competitor. Oh, I’ll never stand onstage in a spray tan and a bespangled bikini (too many stretch marks and scars from multiple abdominal surgeries make that an impossibility) but I compete with other women all the time. I’ve come to the realization that it’s not my hair, my make-up or my clothes that I look at when I’m comparing myself to others; it’s my body, my physique. I don’t look at a healthy, fit looking woman and think ‘I wish I looked like her’. In fact, I can truly appreciate and admire a well toned body. No, it’s the overweight, out of shape women that make me feel like a winner! How pathetic is that? I’m absolutely certain that this attitude doesn’t please my God, the one who created each one of us and who loves us just the way we are.

Twiggy

But why do I feel this way? I think there are many reasons. Our culture, of course, teaches young girls and women to value physical beauty above even good health. I grew up in the age of Twiggy, the emaciated looking fashion model of the 1960s. She became an instant sensation and suddenly, skinny was beautiful. In those days, my mom was overweight. She wasn’t obese but she definitely carried a few more pounds than she should have. “Just wait until you’ve had babies,” she’d tell me. “You’ll look like this too.” No, never, I vowed to myself! My father, who exercised regularly, often gave her a hard time about her weight. Is it any wonder that I grew up thinking that thin equalled beautiful? Then came marriage to a porn addict. Obviously I had to compete physically, or at least that’s what I told myself. Those are all things of the distant past now, but clearly they had a profound impact and helped shape who I am today.

So, what does all this soul searching and self-evaluation mean? Am I going to stop striving toward a better physical body? Absolutely not! There are many very good reasons to continue eating clean and exercising regularly. I believe that I am “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14). God has blessed me with a healthy body and I plan to do the best I can to keep it that way. I hope to live for another 30 years or more and I want them to be good years filled with action and adventure. Staying physically fit has so many benefits. No, that’s not something I’m about to change. I feel good and I like what I see in the mirror!  What I do hope to change is my attitude. From now on, I want to look at other women, even those who are obese and those who haven’t taken care of themselves, with compassion. I want to see the beauty that God sees in them and I don’t want my sense of self-worth to depend on them any longer.

So, now that I’ve bared my soul, let me ask what influences your sense of self-worth?

35 years!

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October 2, 1976

Today is our 35th wedding anniversary! 35! Wow! That’s a big number. How is it possible that that many years have passed by? Are we really old enough to have been married that long?

Apparently we are. All we have to do is look at our kids, all successful young adults, all of them now older than we were when we got married, to realize that yes, indeed, the time has flown.

35 years! Wow! Years of heartache, years of joy, years of work and now, years of play! We didn’t plan anything special for today but Richard’s card to me says Let’s do a winter holiday! That’s going to be our anniversary celebration and gift to one another. We haven’t decided where to go or exactly when but it will be somewhere warm with palm trees and sandy beaches and it will happen when the snow is deep on the ground here at home.

So do I have any words of wisdom about what it takes to keep a marriage going for 35 years? Not really. I do know that sometimes it’s hard work and I also know that having the Lord at the centre of our lives has been the cement that has kept us going and growing together.

When we were in Japan in February, our Valentine’s celebration included a beautiful marriage dinner at Hope Church. Each couple was given a laminated copy of twelve great marriage quotes that Pastor Steve had put together. When we were back in August, we saw them hanging in some of our friend’s homes. Ours has a permanent spot on the front of our fridge. I think they’re well worth sharing.

Great Marriage Quotes

  1. The more you invest in your marriage, the more valuable it becomes.
  2. Marriage is more than finding the right person. It is being the right person.
  3. In marriage, each partner is to be an encourager rather than a critic, a forgiver rather than a collector of hurts, an enabler rather than a reformer.
  4. Happy marriages begin when we marry the one we love, and they blossom when we love the one we marry. In other words, choose your love and love your choice.
  5. When love and skill work together, expect a masterpiece.
  6. A good marriage is the union of two good forgivers.
  7. Ultimately the bond of all companionship is communication.
  8. Be the president of each other’s fan clubs.
  9. What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with your incompatibility.
  10. The first duty of love is to listen.
  11. When it comes to your marriage, if the grass looks greener somewhere else, it’s time to water your own yard.
  12. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through all circumstances.  1 Corinthians 3:7

What can I say?

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My heart is heavy today.

In July of 1982, our four-year-old daughter was diagnosed with leukemia. Initially, she responded well to the treatments and the disease was soon in remission. It didn’t last. On Oct. 5, my 30th birthday, we were told that she had relapsed. That led to an eight week stay in the children’s cancer ward at the University Hospital in Edmonton. Shortly after we arrived, I met another young couple from Sedgewick in the hospital corridor. Robie was a former student of mine and I knew her husband, Perry, vaguely. They were carrying their infant son, Brett, who was covered in bruises, a common symptom of leukemia. I still remember the horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach when I realized that another child from our tiny town was suffering from the same terrible disease.

The next year was a long and difficult one for both our families. Early in June, Robie and Perry lost their beloved Brett just short of his second birthday. Our Janina followed three months later. Richard and I had three-year-old, Matthew, and our brand new daughter, Melaina, to keep us from completely falling to pieces but Robie and Perry’s arms were empty.

The following year joy revisited both families. On July 10, the day that would have been Janina’s sixth birthday, Robie gave birth to Brendyn Brett and exactly two weeks later, we were blessed by the birth of our adopted son, Nathan. Our boys were dedicated to the Lord in the same Sunday morning service with our pastor and Robie’s father, a retired United Church minister, both participating in the ceremony. Over the next few years, two more sons were added to Robie and Perry’s family. As time went by, our paths went in different directions and we didn’t maintain a close relationship but the bond of common loss remained.

Late the night before last, less than three weeks after the birth of his first child, Greyson Brett, 27-year-old Brendyn died in a tragic accident.

What can I say?

Losing a child is every parent’s worse nightmare. Losing a second one, unimaginable. As a child, our Matthew was severely asthmatic and medications weren’t what they are today. In the early days after his sister’s death, he was often very sick. I remember standing at his sister’s graveside railing at God and pleading that I would not have to put another of my children in the ground. I cannot begin to imagine the anguish that Robie and Perry are experiencing today.

What can I say? 

Today my Facebook status says “I can’t explain why God lets bad things happen but when hearts are hurting and life doesn’t make any sense, I still believe that there’s no road too difficult when we walk by His side.”

What more can I possibly say?

Beautiful feet

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“How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!”   Romans 10:15

This is the verse our pastor used this morning as he commissioned us to carry the gospel to the people of Saipan. He then proceeded to tell us that we have beautiful feet and I know he wasn’t referring to the fact that I was wearing my bright red shoes!

Over the past few days, we’ve been asked many times “Are you excited?” Of course, we are! Once again we’re stepping way outside our comfort zone but we’re doing it with peace and confidence knowing that this is God’s direction for us and that we go with the prayers of many behind us. As our pastor pointed out, each one who gathered around and prayed for us this morning and many others who weren’t able to be present are part of the mission that we’re going on. Ours may be the feet that go but theirs are the hands that hold us up.

We’ll be taking these beautiful feet to bed soon. We’re tucked into our hotel room across the highway from the airport and have a wake up call scheduled for 3:40 a.m. The airport shuttle will pick us up 45 minutes later and some 28 hours after that, our feet will step onto the island of Saipan.

Amazing connections

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When Richard’s cousin learned that we were going to Saipan, she sent us a note along with an insert from her church bulletin that told of another Alberta couple who are also going to Saipan on a short term missions assignment this summer! Rod and Beth were missionaries with Far East Broadcasting on Saipan from 1995 to 2002 and are returning for the summer to help with the decommissioning of the FEBC station there. The short wave transmitters, which are no longer needed there, will be shipped to the Philippines.

I was somewhat surprised to hear that we wouldn’t be the only Albertan missionaries on Saipan this summer but didn’t give it a lot of thought until a friend from church mentioned that her husband’s second cousin and his wife were also going to Saipan as short term missionaries this summer! Could there actually be three couples from Alberta going to the same tiny island? No. As it turns out, Doris’ husband is related to Rod and Beth!

Doris gave Rod our email address. We’ve been corresponding and have discovered yet another connection. When he and Beth left the island in 2002 they sold their car to the missionary couple that we’ll be filling in for! It’s a tiny island but it has a population of over 60 000 people so what are the chances of that?

What do all these amazing connections mean? Are they simply coincidences or are they part of a bigger picture that only God can see? I don’t know. In fact, I may never know but I do know that my God can orchestrate amazing things. Pondering the possibilities is quite delightful.

Love through me

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In church on Sunday morning, Richard and I did a presentation about our upcoming missions trip to Saipan. When we were done, we invited the congregation to join us in singing two verses of an old chorus.

Love through me, love through me;
O Lord, love through me. 
Somewhere somebody needs your love today.
O Lord, love through me. 

Speak through me, speak through me;
O Lord, speak through me.
Make your Word upon my lips a flame today.
O Lord, speak through me.

There are other verses but these two could really be the theme of our mission. Ever since Sunday, they’ve been stuck in my head. I’m not much of a singer but I’ve been belting them out over and over again while I’ve been alone on the tractor! I guess I’m getting just a little bit excited about what the Lord has in store for us!

Richard just started seeding today but I’ve already put in lots of hours out at the farm. I spent two days cultivating fields that were in summer fallow last year. That was a new experience for me but an easy one as the cultivator is pulled by the same tractor that I’ve used for several springs to pull the harrow/packer. The cultivator is much easier to maneuver though as it’s only 35 feet wide instead of 50.

I don’t usually run the harrow/packer until after the seed is in the ground but because last year’s crop was so heavy, there’s a lot more straw in the fields than usual. I’ve been out with the harrow to break it up and scatter it before the seeding is done. I put in several hours today and would still be out there but we had a breakdown and some welding needs to be done before I can continue.

As much as I love being out at the farm, I’m not minding the extra time at home today as our annual ladies retreat begins tomorrow and I have a number of things to do to get ready. It’s always a wonderful weekend and this year my prayer is that God will use it to continue preparing me for his work in Saipan.

Here’s a few rustic scenes from the farm:

   



Will we know one another in heaven?

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My friend, Louis, and I have the greatest conversations. We call them our combine talks because many of them take place during harvest season as we cross the golden fields together. I can talk with him about almost anything but often our deepest discussions centre on our faith. More than once Louis has asked me whether we’ll know one another in heaven. I am absolutely, totally convinced that we will. I don’t know what we’ll look like or how we’ll recognize each other but I have no doubt that we will. Louis is a little less certain.

Once, not simply because I like being right but also because I’d really like Louis to have the same confidence and peace of mind about the subject as I have, I searched the scriptures for evidence that I was right. I have to admit that I couldn’t find as clear an answer as I would have liked. The best I could come up with was 1 Corinthians 13:12, “Now we see but a poor reflection; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.“ I realize that this probably refers to us knowing and being known by Christ but I hope it also means that we will know one another.

I also discovered that King David shared my thoughts on the matter. 2 Samuel 12:22-23 says, “After the death of his son, David answered “While the child was yet alive, I fasted and wept. I thought, ‘Who knows? The Lord may be gracious to me and let the child live.’ But now that he is dead, why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me.” Like me, David clearly expected to know his child when he got to heaven.

I recently read a fascinating new book, “Heaven is for Real” by Todd Burpo. It’s the astounding story of a little boy who emerges from emergency surgery with remarkable stories of a visit to heaven. I’m as skeptical as the next person when I hear stories of near death and out of body experiences but this one is simple, heart warming and surprisingly biblical. Before I finished reading it, I knew that Louis had to read it too. He’s not much of a reader but he finished it in less than two days! Once he got started, he said, he couldn’t put it down.

According to the book, we will indeed know one another. It also answers another question that I’ve long wondered about. What happens to children when they go to heaven? As I see it, there are three possibilities. Either they remain children forever, an option that doesn’t sound very satisfactory to me; they’re instantly full grown when they enter heaven which doesn’t seem fair either; or they enter as a child and continue to grow up just as they would have here. In “Heaven is for Real” Colton Burpo meets his miscarried sister who no one had ever told him about. She isn’t a baby, certainly not a preemie, she’s older than he is. Clearly, she’s growing up in heaven!

Our Janina left us when she was five. I’ve always known that I would see her again. I look forward to the day when I cross over to the other side and a beautiful young woman greets me with “Hi, Mom!”

Janina at age 5

Don’t light my own torch!

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I had hoped to book our tickets to Saipan this week. In fact, I woke up in the wee hours of Monday morning feeling very stressed because this hadn’t already been done. We’re not actually going until sometime in mid June but I like to take care of things like this well in advance. This time, however, our travel plans depend on other people. We thought we had pretty much nailed down the dates that we’d be needed with the missionaries that we’ll be covering for but then news came of a possible youth retreat that they’d like us to be involved in. Not a problem! In fact, that sounds pretty exciting to us but now we have to wait on someone else’s plans as this would involve another person coming from off island to do the retreat.

So what was I doing Monday morning? Fretting. Stressing. Worrying. Wondering if I should simply pick some dates and go ahead and book our tickets.

Then God spoke! No, I didn’t hear a booming voice from heaven but I definitely heard him loud and clear. He could have said, “Be patient you silly, foolish child and let me take care of things or you’ll mess them up for sure!” but he’s kinder than that and perhaps a little more subtle.

I sat down to review the previous week’s homework in preparation for that evening’s Beth Moore Bible study and Isaiah 50:10b-11 jumped out at me:

“Let him who walks in the dark, who has no light, trust in the name of the Lord and rely on his God. But now, all you who light fires and provide yourselves with flaming torches, go, walk in the light of your fires and of the torches you have set ablaze. This is what you shall receive from my hand: You will lie down in torment.”

It’s amazing how that happens; how God seems to know exactly what we need to hear and when we need to hear it! It’s so easy for me to want to take things into my own hands, to light my own torch and try to find the path on my own but God was reminding me to trust in him and to wait on his leading. So now there’s a highlighted note to self in the margin of my Bible study workbook:

Don’t light my own torch!

Instead, I’ll wait (patiently, I hope!) until we’re given a better idea when we need to be on Saipan and then I’ll book our tickets accordingly.


Praying for Japan

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Japan is heavy on our hearts these days. The immediate need, of course, is for a safe resolution to the alarming situation at the Fukushima nuclear power plant. The news media has a tendency to sensationalize this kind of thing so it’s very difficult to know exactly how serious the situation is and what it might mean to those living in close proximity but we have no doubt that there is potential for a complete meltdown and the release of extremely dangerous levels of radiation. According to John Beddington, chief spokesman for the British Embassy in Tokyo, experts have said that radiation levels would need to be hundreds of times higher than they are at present before the health of anyone outside a very small area would be endangered. In their opinion, that isn’t going to happen. Some found this reassuring while others are less confident. Australia’s Foreign Affairs Minister Kevin Rudd has told his countrymen in Tokyo that they should leave and French expats have received similar advice. Apparently, an Indian company chartered a plane to evacuate its 185 employees and their families. Several of our friends have taken or sent their children to stay with relatives in Osaka and Kyoto, much further away from the Fukushima nuclear facility.

In addition to the crisis at the power plant, there are many other reasons to pray. The window of time for finding anyone still alive in the rubble of last Friday’s earthquake is rapidly closing. Thousands of people are still unaccounted for. Some of our friends have not yet been able to make contact with relatives living in the area and do not know if they are alive or dead.

People in Tokyo and the surrounding areas including Funabashi, where we lived, are experiencing rotating power blackouts, lack of food and gasoline shortages.

People across the country are living in fear. One expert explained that three of the tectonic plates that make up the earth’s surface meet under Japan. Two of them shifted causing last week’s massive earthquake and there is reason to believe that the third one could move causing further devastation. There have already been hundreds of aftershocks since Friday.

Clearly there are urgent needs that require immediate attention but I believe that Japan has a much greater need that long predates the recent earthquake. In Christian circles, Japan is known as one of the world’s largest unreached people groups. Less than 2% of the population place their hope in Jesus Christ. On our recent visit, God gave me a vision for Japan. Imagine the country covered by a thick black blanket; a blanket of spiritual darkness. There are tiny holes in places where the light of Christ shines through but under that blanket live over 130 million people who put their hope in cleaning their ancestors graves on the appropriate days of the year and leaving offerings there, on visiting temples on other designated days; bowing, clapping and dropping coins in the offering boxes. What is there in those rituals that will help them in a time like this? Is it any wonder that they are traumatized? In the Sendai area those temples and graves are washed away; gone forever! Could it be that God might use this triple tragedy (earthquake, tsunami and nuclear crisis) to turn the hearts of the Japanese people to himself? We need to pray that this will be the moment in time when the spiritual blanket is torn apart and people find hope in a living God who loves each one of them and “who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine” (Ephesians 3:20).