Books

Finding hope during challenging times

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It’s Friday, so normally this would be a fashion post, but considering the state of the world today, writing about clothing seems frivolous and I just couldn’t get my mind (or my heart) around the idea. These days, I just want to wear my favourite jeans and coziest sweaters on repeat.

It’s also the end of the month, so I should be writing a book review, but that isn’t happening either. Oh, I’ve been reading. In fact, I’ve been reading quite a bit, but I’ve been escaping into frivolous, fluffy novels, not the sort of thing that I would bother to review or recommend. 

As I was leaving my doctor’s office yesterday (more about that in a future post), I decided to stop at a thrift store on my way home. I immediately spotted this and it ended up being my only purchase. I’m not sure where it will eventually end up in my newly renovated home, but for now it’s in a spot where I see it every time I enter the kitchen.

You might remember that, for the second year in a row, hope is my one word for the year and if there’s ever a time when we need hope I think it might be now. So how do we find hope and hang onto it amidst the barrage of negative occurrences in the world around us today? One way of doing this is to focus on what is good and right in our day to day experiences. This doesn’t mean living with our heads in the sand, but it might mean less time watching the news or scrolling the internet. 

According to Wikipedia, hope is “an optimistic state of mind”. It’s a glass half full attitude. It’s being able to imagine positive outcomes and when possible, acting to achieve them. That’s what I want the new sign in my kitchen to remind me of.

Like the puddles on the street and the water dribbling out of our downspouts remind me that the long cold winter is almost over and spring is coming, I want to be reminded that there are still more people in the world who want equity and justice than those who are fighting for the opposite. Believing that gives me hope.     

What gives you hope today? 

Book of the month – September 2024

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Hope for the Best, Plan for the Rest

Dr. Sammy Winemaker and Dr. Hsien Seow

Screenshot 2024-09-09 at 11.49.03 AMBeing diagnosed with a life-changing illness can be completely overwhelming. In Hope for the Best, Plan for the Rest, Drs. Sammy Winemaker and Hsien Seow offer a valuable guide to help patients and families deal with their new reality. Combining their decades of palliative care research and experience caring for seriously ill patients and harnessing the advice of thousands of patients, they offer 7 keys for navigating a life-changing diagnosis. With real-life stories, tips, and exercises, these compassionate experts empower patients with practical tools to help them successfully navigate the health care system with knowledge and confidence.

The 7 Keys:

  1. Walk Two Roads. Hope for the best, and plan for the rest. Toggle between being realistic and being hopeful.
  2. Zoom Out. Understand the big picture of your illness and what might lie ahead.
  3. Know Your Style. Review your past patterns for insights into how you will journey through your illness. Identify your coping strategies and your ways of processing information.
  4. Customize Your Order. Communicate your wishes, values, and beliefs to help tailor your care plan to your preferences.
  5. Anticipate Ripple Effects. Recognize that those caring for you will also need to be supported.
  6. Connect the Dots. Play a central role in coordinating your care (or identify someone who can).
  7. Invite Yourself. Speak up. Initiate conversations about what to expect and advocate for yourself.

These 7 keys are not steps or stages to be followed in a particular order, but are meant to be blended together and used as needed. After devoting one chapter to each of the keys, the writers wrap up with a chapter entitled Putting It All Together and then two final chapters that deal in more detail with the late and end stages of disease and the actual process of dying. They caution their readers to read those two chapters only if they feel comfortable doing so. The book would be a complete and helpful tool without them, but personally I found both chapters informative and reassuring.

This book, published in 2023, wasn’t available ten years earlier when I received my first cancer diagnosis. Looking back, I think that over time I implemented most of the keys either intuitively or through bits and pieces of advice that I received along the way, but how much better it would have been to have a book like this one to guide my way. It’s a book about hope (my one word for 2024) in the face of uncertainty. It’s about living well, being fully informed, and getting the best care available. It’s about being a whole person and not just a patient. It’s a call for patient-led, patient-centred health care.

Book of the month – July 2024

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Crossing Oceans

Gina Holmes

9781414333052At the outset, Gina Holmes’ Crossing Oceans reminded me of a sappy Christmas movie. You know the ones… after several years away, beautiful young woman returns to her quaint mid American hometown where she encounters sweet, kindhearted, and inexplicably single man from her past who sweeps her off her feet and solves all her problems.

I was okay with that. Having just finished reading the memoir of an esteemed Chinese professor who lived through the horrors of the Cultural Revolution, I was ready for some fluff; some light summer reading.  

Crossing Oceans surprised me. First of all, I didn’t realize that it was a Christian novel. Had I known that, I might not have picked it up. As strange as it might sound, considering the fact that I’m a committed follower of Christ, I read very few Christian novels. Although there are exceptions, too many of them are unrealistic, happy ever after romances somewhat on par with those mushy Christmas movies. While the main characters in Holmes’ novel are professing Christians, it isn’t preachy. They are far from perfect, and their problems aren’t swept away because they believe in God. 

When Jenny Lucas left home, single and pregnant, she promised herself that she’d never look back. Six years later, knowing that she’s dying of cancer, Jenny returns to the sleepy North Carolina town where she grew up to decide who will raise her little girl when she is gone. Will it be her father with whom she has had a difficult relationship since the death of her own mother when she was a teen? Or will she choose Isabella’s dad who doesn’t even know that he has a daughter? Animosity between the two families adds to her dilemma. Can they put aside their differences and help both Jenny and Isabella face what lies ahead? 

This is a sad story, but not a depressing one. It’s a poignant story of love and loss, but also forgiveness and healing. Jenny faces her situation with determination, courage, stoicism, and even a sense of humour. As I neared the end, I couldn’t help wondering how the story could possibly end in a satisfying manner, but without giving anything away, I’ll simply tell you that I wasn’t disappointed.

Book of the month – March 2024

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The Forgotten Bookshop in Paris

Daisy Wood

contentUntil the end, when the two finally come together, this is really two completely different storylines connected only by a specific location.

In 1940, war is closing in on the city of Paris. When the Germans take over the city, Jacques and Mathilde have only been married for a short time. Itching to resist in whatever way she can, Mathilde soon puts herself at risk and must flee to safety in the south of France while Jacques stays behind and continues to operate his beloved bookstore, La Page Cachée. Hiding first banned books, and then people seeking refuge and a way to escape the city, in a hidden storeroom in his shop, Jacques too becomes involved in the resistance.

In 2022, Juliette, whose deceased grandmother was born in Paris, and her husband, Kevin, take a long awaited trip to the city of love. Armed only with a photograph of a painting that used to hang in her grandmother’s house in America, Juliette searches for and locates the small city square depicted in the painting. Discovering that her husband has been having an affair, she decides to stay behind in Paris and forge a new life for herself. There she finds passion and purpose in purchasing a small abandoned bookstore on the square that appeared in her grandmother’s painting, renovating it, and opening The Forgotten Bookshop.

I loved this book! Partially, perhaps, because I’ve always thought that if I was ever to open a business, it would be a bookstore, but also because I became completely engrossed in both storylines. Each time the book switched from past to present or vice versa, I was almost disappointed because I was so captivated by whichever story I was reading at the moment! Both heartwarming and heartbreaking, the well-researched wartime story with its very believable characters could easily stand alone. The modern story was a little more cliched, but until the very end, it kept me wondering how the two storylines would come together.

Daisy Wood has written several works of historical fiction for children and this is her second adult novel. As soon as I finished it, I ordered her first, The Clockmaker’s Wife, from the library. While The Forgotten Bookshop in Paris is my favourite of the two, I enjoyed that one too.

Book of the month – February 2024

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Many of the books that I’ve read over the past year or so have been historical novels set in the days leading up to and during World War II. Many, like the two that I featured last month, are based on the experiences of actual people who lived through those dark days. I’ve read stories of women working behind the scenes in the French resistance and children being sent overseas to temporary homes in North America where they would be safe from the bombings in London. Others have been stories of life and death in the concentration camps. Still others have told of people who risked their lives hiding Jews from the Nazis or smuggling food and medicine into the Jewish ghetto in Warsaw. My librarian friend tells me that these novels of wartime heroism are a very popular genre at the moment. I find that somewhat surprising during this time of heightened antisemitism when some might even think that the Holocaust didn’t go far enough in ridding the world of its Jewish population. But perhaps it’s also a hopeful sign. It was my librarian friend who suggested that I read this month’s selection.

The Last Train to London

Meg Waite Clayton

43386062Geertruida (Truus) Wijsmuller, a childless member of the Dutch resistance, risks her life smuggling Jewish children out of Nazi Germany to the nations that will take them. It is a mission that becomes even more dangerous after Hitler’s annexation of Austria when, across Europe, countries begin to close their borders to the growing number of refugees desperate to escape. After Britain passes a measure to take in at-risk child refugees from the German Reich, Tante Truus, as she is known by the children, dares to approach Adolf Eichmann, the man who would later help devise the “Final Solution to the Jewish Question” and is granted permission to escort a trainload of 600 children (not 599 or 601, but exactly 600) out of the country. In a race against time, 600 children between the ages of 4 and 17 are registered, photographed, checked by medical doctors and put on board the train to begin a perilous journey to an uncertain future abroad. Thus begins the famous Kindertransport system that went on to transport thousands of children out of various parts of Europe during the Nazi occupation of the region in the late 1930s, immediately prior to the official start of World War II.

The Last Train to London is also the story of three fictional children, Stephan Neuman, the teenage son of a wealthy and influential Jewish family who are stripped of everything when the Germans invade Austria, his younger brother, Walter, and Stephan’s best friend, Žofie-Helene, a brilliant Christian girl whose mother edits a progressive, anti-Nazi newspaper.

Although this book really came together at the end and was well worth reading, I do admit to finding it somewhat difficult to follow, especially in the first half, because of the short, choppy chapters that bounce from one character to another.

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Geertruida Wijsmuller in 1965

Book of the month – June 2023

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A Life Without Water

Marci Bolden

51358755After reading Rohinton Mistry’s A Fine Balance, a 713 page novel about life in India in the 1970s and 80s, and then Timothy Keller’s The Reason for God: Belief in an Age of Skepticism, I was looking for something light to read! Something frivolous and entertaining.

While A Life Without Water was a quick, easy read it wasn’t quite what I expected. Instead, it dealt with a number of serious issues including divorce, alcoholism, loss of a child, and terminal illness. It’s also a book about forgiveness and about finding peace in the midst of heartbreak.

Carol Denman is a recent widow, still dealing with the loss of her second husband, when the ex-husband that she hasn’t seen in more than 20 years barges back into her life. John Bowman is very sick and while he can, he has some amends to make and promises to fulfill. In order to do so, he needs his ex-wife’s help. His presence turns her life upside down and forces her to confront long suppressed feelings of anger, resentment, and grief. The fact that she goes along with the request that he makes of her seems rather unrealistic to me, but it does make for a good story. If you’re given to tears, you might want to have a few tissues on hand!

While A Life Without Water can be read as a standalone, it is the first in a series of three. A Life Without Flowers and A Life Without Regret continue Carol’s story.

Book of the month – May 2023

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When it came time to write this month’s book post, I couldn’t decide which of two historical novels I wanted to feature, so I took the easy way out and wrote about them both!

The Letter Home

Rachael English

hbg-title-9781472264701-63.jpgRachael English is a novelist and a presenter on Ireland’s most popular radio programme, Morning Ireland. In her most recent novel, inspired by true events, the lives of three remarkable women are interwoven across time.

While back home in County Clare on Ireland’s west coast, Jessie Daly, whose life has recently fallen apart, agrees to help an old friend research what happened in that area during the terrible famine of the 1840s. Meanwhile in Boston, lawyer Kaitlin Wilson, after suffering a tragedy of her own, decides to research her family history. She knows only that her ancestors left Ireland for Boston in the 19th century. Separated by an ocean, and totally unknown to one another, the two women are drawn into the remarkable story of a brave young mother named Bridget Moloney and the terrible suffering that she and her little daughter, Norah, endured during the famine.

Even on a busy weekend celebrating the birthdays of two of my grandchildren, I had a hard time putting this book down! Perhaps I connected so strongly with the story because I’ve recently been sorting through a box of old family photos, inherited from my mother, and trying to correctly label them before the identities of the people in them are forever lost in the mists of time. Like Jessie and Kaitlin, I’ve taken to the internet to find out more about these ancestors of mine and their lives, but perhaps that should be a story for a different post!

If you enjoy historical fiction or genealogy is your thing, this is definitely a book for you. I enjoyed it so much that I’ve now loaded one of English’s earlier novels, The American Girl, onto my Kindle for future reading.

The Dictionary of Lost Words

Pip Williams9781984820747

Knowing that I’m a lover of words and a strong advocate of equal rights for women, my daughter recommended that I read this one. Australian novelist, Pip Williams, masterfully weaves a fictional story into and around the true historical events and people involved in compiling the first edition of the Oxford English Dictionary in the late 1800s and early 1900s.

The only child of a widowed father, Esme spends her early childhood in the Scriptorium, a converted garden shed in Oxford where her father and a team of dedicated lexicographers collect and compile words for the dictionary. From her place under the sorting table she collects stray word slips dropped or discarded by the men and hides them in a small trunk that she labels “The Dictionary of Lost Words”. As she grows up, she begins to realize that not all words are considered appropriate for inclusion in the dictionary, particularly words pertaining to the experiences of women and common folk; words that were considered coarse or vulgar, spoken but not usually written. And so she begins her own collection of words by seeking out the lower-class, less educated people and listening to their everyday speech.

A book about words might sound dreadfully boring to some, but The Book of Lost Words is much more than that. The years during which the Oxford English Dictionary was being compiled coincided with the women’s suffrage movement in England as well as World War I and both have a part to play in the story. More than just a book about words, it’s a book about love, loss, the roles of women, the meaning of service, and a book that asks the important question, whose words matter?

Book of the month – April 2023

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From the Ashes

Jesse Thistle

9781982101213This month’s book was a difficult read because of the content, but at the same time, it was difficult to put down!

Abandoned at the age of 3, Jesse Thistle and his two older brothers were taken into care by the Saskatchewan Children’s Aid Society. After a short time in foster care, they were raised by their paternal grandparents in Brampton, Ontario. In his teens, struggling with the effects of generational trauma and loss as well as his identity as an Indigenous youth, Jesse succumbed to a self-destructive cycle of drug and alcohol addiction and petty crime that eventually led to a decade of homelessness.

Finally, realizing that he was going to die if he didn’t turn his life around, Jesse entered Harvest House, a residential rehab centre and began his healing journey. Today he is a husband, a father, an assistant professor at York University, and is working on his PhD. Once a high school dropout, he won a Governor General’s Academic Medal in 2016 and is a Pierre Elliot Trudeau Foundation Scholar and a Vanier Scholar. He is also the author of the Definition of Indigenous Homelessness in Canada, published through the Canadian Observatory on Homelessness.

It was never Jesse’s intention to write a memoir. The fourth step in his addiction recovery program involved writing a “fearless moral inventory” as part of making sense of all that had happened to him. In 2016, the Toronto Star published a profile of him that led to Simon & Schuster approaching him about a potential book deal. Fleshing out that original moral inventory became the book in which, through both poetry and prose, he details devastatingly painful scenes with brutal honesty and bluntness. It is, at times, a gut-wrenching read, but it is also a story of resilience and hope. As I read it, I couldn’t help thinking of all the other Jesses living on our streets and in our prisons. Every one of them has a story, but not all will end well.

One such story is that of Jesse’s father.

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Cyril “Sonny” Thistle, who was born April 3, 1954, was last seen in 1981 in Brampton, Ontario, near McLaughlin Road and Queen Street East. At the time he went missing, he was described as having a fair complexion, light brown hair, a thick moustache, and a gap between his top two front teeth. He was 26 years old.

The Thistle family has been trying to locate Sonny for several years, without any success. Jesse and his brothers desperately want to know what happened to their father.

Anyone with information on Thistle is asked to contact investigators at 905-453-2121 ext. 2233. Anonymous information may also be submitted by calling Peel Crime Stoppers at 1-800-222-TIPS (8477) or by visiting www.peelcrimestoppers.ca.

Book of the month – March 2023

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When the Moon is Low

Nadia Hashimi

9780062369611-lNadia Hashimi’s second adult novel is the gripping story of a mother and her children fleeing Afghanistan after the brutal murder of her husband by the Taliban. Their one hope is to find refuge with her sister’s family in London, England. It’s also the story of Fereiba’s teenage son, Saleem, who becomes separated from the family as they make their perilous journey into Iran, Turkey and across Europe. 

Released in 2015, this international bestseller is a riveting story of hardship, desperation, and harrowing escapes. It’s also coming-of-age story as Saleem learns to navigate the dark world of human trafficking and squalid refugee camps on his own while desperately trying to reunite with his family. I found it completely engrossing and hard to put down! 

Like her first novel, The Pearl That Broke Its Shell, and her more recent ones, A House Without Windows and Sparks Like Stars, When the Moon is Low is a work of fiction based on reality. Hashimi was born in New York to Afghani parents who emigrated in the early 1970s before the Soviet invasion and the rise of the Taliban, but she draws on the experiences of family members and others who shared the details of their sometimes heartbreaking journeys with her.

In addition to her four adult novels, Hashimi has written two novels for young readers, The Sky at Our Feet and One Half from the East, that also deal with life in modern-day Afghanistan and those who have had to flee. 

All of Hashimi’s novels give the reader a glimpse into the lives of Afghan girls and women, but When the Moon is Low also opens our eyes to the perilous journeys of the ever increasing number of refugees from a variety of backgrounds who have flooded Europe in recent years and their harrowing attempts to find asylum. It is a story of both the kindness of strangers and the harsh realities of persecution.

Nadia Hashimi is a pediatrician, the mother of four children, and a former Democratic congressional candidate for the United States House of Representatives. How she finds time in such a busy life to write, I have no idea, but I’m very glad that she does! 

Book of the month – February 2023

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Before we left for Mexico, I loaded a series of four books by Pulitzer Prize winning author, Elizabeth Strout, onto my Kindle.

My Name is Lucy Barton

Elizabeth Strout

image-assetThe first book in the series, My Name is Lucy Barton, reads like a memoir to such an extent that when I finished it, I actually researched the author to find out whether or not it was autobiographical. Though there are parallels, particularly in the facts that, like Strout, Lucy Barton is a writer and both were raised in rural areas somewhat isolated from other children, the similarities end there.

When Lucy Barton spends several weeks in hospital recuperating from what should have been a simple operation, her mother, who she has not seen or spoken with for several years comes to visit. As they chat, Lucy dredges up memories from her childhood in rural Illinois; memories of growing up in abject poverty, spending the first years of her life living with her family in a one room garage, being abused by her father who suffered from PTSD as the result of his time in World War II, being told by her classmates that “your family stinks” and sitting alone in a classroom to do her homework long after everyone else had left because it was better than being at home.

Exquisitely told in the first person, this is a story of coming to terms with family trauma. Though there is much that Lucy and her mother can’t or don’t discuss, it also becomes a story of reconciliation and love between mother and daughter.

The second book in the series, Anything is Possible, isn’t really a sequel. Instead, it’s a series of connected short stories about the people of the fictional town of Amgash, Illinois where Lucy Barton grew up. Lucy, herself, appears in only one of these stories when, after being absent for seventeen years, she returns to visit the siblings she left behind. The third book, Oh William!, continues the story of her life and explores her relationship, both past and present, with her first husband, William. The final book, Lucy by the Sea, which I started reading on the plane on the way home from Mexico yesterday and haven’t finished yet, might be my favourite. Perhaps that’s because the characters have become so familiar to me or maybe it’s because the topic is so timely. When the pandemic hit New York, the city that became Lucy’s home after she left Amgash, William convinces her to escape with him to an isolated house on the coast of Maine. Not taking the threat as seriously as he does, she reluctantly agrees thinking that she’ll be there only a week or two. Weeks soon stretch into months, but I can’t tell you how the story ends because I haven’t got there yet!

Elizabeth Strout describes her writing style as that of “an embroiderer”. “I will pick it up and embroider a little green line, and come back later and embroider a leaf or something… I always write by scenes, and I never write anything from beginning to end.” In the end, however, she presents the reader with a complete and complex story written in a confiding conversational tone that creates a feeling of intimacy between character and reader. I can hardly wait to read more of her books!