Isabella Rossellini and I – this is what 71 looks like!

October 6, 2023October 5, 2023 / edebock / 12 Comments

I turned 71 yesterday, so I was intrigued to discover that Italian actress and model, Isabella Rossellini, who is also 71, is featured on the cover of this month’s issue of Italian Vogue.

Even more delightful is the fact that the photo hasn’t been retouched! No photoshopping to eliminate the visible signs of aging.

Isabella is no stranger to ageism. At the age of 43, when she was dropped by Lancôme in favour of younger models, she was told that advertisements represent women’s dreams, not reality, and that women dream of looking young. More than 20 years later, in her mid 60s, she was invited back; perhaps a hopeful sign that there are positive changes taking place in the beauty industry.

Of course, for the magazine cover, Rossellini had the benefit of professional makeup artists, photographer, and lighting, but I also love the more natural look of this photo that she posted on Instagram recently.

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That’s a look that I can identify with; the look of a woman who is comfortable in her own skin, wrinkles and all. Born with scoliosis, Rossellini has had two major and very painful back surgeries. The idea of having surgery to alter her looks actually scares her. She isn’t interested in Botox injections either. She has a 28-acre organic farm on Long Island, New York and eats organic food, not to look younger, but to preserve her health. She says that doing Botox would completely contradict her chosen lifestyle.

Although she eschews cosmetic surgery and other attempts at hiding her age, Rossellini has been attentive to caring for her skin since she was a child. Her routine includes an eye cream, a face cream, and sunscreen. I, too, am diligent about skin care. In the morning, I wash my face with warm water and apply a day lotion with SPF 15 and UVA/UVB sun protection. At bedtime, I use a creamy facial cleanser with gentle exfoliants followed by a night cream. While I’ve been doing this since I was in my early 30s, I now use products that are specifically designed for maturing skin. I’m also very conscientious about using an SPF 50+ broad spectrum sunscreen whenever I spend much time outdoors.

And there’s my without the benefit of professional assistance, just turned 71, wrinkles and scars, unretouched photo! Though I’m half blind without my glasses, I removed them so that they don’t hide anything.

Today, on my second day of being 71, I’m very thankful for role models like Isabella Rossellini; strong, elegant women who embrace their age and defy societal pressure to try to look younger than they actually are!

Opposite views of aging

August 4, 2023August 6, 2023 / edebock / 2 Comments

Since reading Breaking the Age Code and featuring it as my July Book of the Month, I’ve been doing what the author, Dr. Becca Levy, suggested and looking more closely at the messages that I see about aging in the media, in advertising, and on social media. While this topic is much broader than just fashion, I think it’s appropriate for a Friday post because so much of what we see about age is directed at women and their appearance. Take the article that I saw posted on Facebook recently for example. “40+ Short Haircut Tips and Styles That Make Us Look 20 Years Younger” sounds innocent enough until you ask yourself, why should we want to look 20 years younger? What’s wrong with looking 40, 50, or even 80? The message is that young is good, young is beautiful, and old is not.

Thankfully, there are positive messages to be found too. “72 is the new 30! Get fit at any age along with this 72 year old fitness star!” implores an ad for an online fitness program. Scientists claim that life expectancy has increased to such an extent that a 72-year-old person today has the same probability of dying as a 30-year-old primitive hunter-gatherer would have had. Hence the saying, 72 is the new 30. That’s good news, I think, but the real message of the ad is that at 72 we can still be active and physically fit.

In contrast, look at this meme taken from Facebook.

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What? We’re old and washed up at 50? Maybe this is supposed to be funny, but it’s exactly the kind of self-defeating, negative message about aging that Dr. Levy wrote about.

Instead, here’s the kind of message we should be seeing.

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This the the kind of age belief that can add years to your life and quality to your years. In the long run, you’ll probably look better than the gal who’s lying on the heating pad eating nachos too!

Book of the month – July 2023

August 1, 2023July 15, 2023 / edebock / 1 Comment

Breaking The Age Code

Becca Levy, PhD

Screenshot 2023-07-14 at 10.05.53 PM How would you like to extend your life by 7.5 years? According to Dr. Becca Levy, Yale professor and leading expert on the psychology of successful aging, you might be able to do just that!

Breaking the Age Code is a fascinating book that could literally revolutionize how you think about aging. Levy’s premise is that our age beliefs, what we think about older people and about getting older, influence how we age. She presents both factual evidence and interesting anecdotes showing that having positive age beliefs results in better physical and mental health in our senior years and actually extends life expectancy. This makes sense when you consider that having positive age beliefs promotes physical exercise as well as social and intellectual engagement and diminishes stress.

Unfortunately, we who live in North America and Europe are constantly bombarded with negative age beliefs. Even saying that someone is having a “senior moment” suggests that there is truth to the all too commonly accepted stereotype that our brains inevitably deteriorate as we get older. In reality, people of all ages experience these momentary memory lapses and there is tremendous variability in how our brains function as we age.

Breaking the Age Code presents us with easy-to-follow techniques for shifting our age beliefs from negative to positive. The first step involves becoming aware of our own age beliefs as well as recognizing the ageism that is so prevalent in our society. The book is also a call to stand up against ageism and its negative effects.

Not only is Becca Levy one of the world’s leading experts on aging and longevity, but she’s also a wonderful storyteller. Her book is both informative and inspiring and would be of benefit to readers of all ages, those who will be old someday and those who already are.

Do you feel invisible?

October 26, 2022October 24, 2022 / edebock / 2 Comments

“One’s reward for marching through the decades is a gradual process of erasure.” The Book of Lost Names, Kristin Harmel

If you’re an older woman, whatever you define that to be, have you ever been made to feel invisible? Maybe you’ve been overlooked for a project or a promotion at work. Maybe you’ve felt unseen when you entered a restaurant, a garage, or another place of business. Perhaps you’ve been ignored while younger customers received all the attention from shop attendants. Maybe you’ve felt invisible at a social or family event. If you’ve ever felt this way, you’re not alone! There’s even a name for it, Invisible Woman Syndrome.

A survey by Gransnet, a busy social networking site for people over 50, revealed that 7 out of 10 women feel that they become invisible as they get older, beginning as young as age 52. Nearly two-thirds believe that older women tend to be more invisible than men of the same age. Nearly two-fifths of the respondents said that younger people have patronized them as they’ve gotten older and a quarter said that if they’re out with a younger person, people tend to talk to the younger person rather than to them.

Many of these women are well educated and have interesting careers. They may be well traveled and involved in a variety of worthwhile activities, so why are they made to feel invisible? What is it about an older woman that society finds unpalatable? Why does she lose relevance as her body ages?

Unfortunately, age discrimination is real, especially for women, but it’s more than that. Ageism walks hand in hand with sexism. Older men are often seen as powerful and distinguished; their grey hair a sign of knowledge and experience. Women, on the other hand, often feel pressured to appear younger than they are in order to be taken seriously.

Personally, I’ve really only noticed the onset of age related invisibility in one area. I no longer have to put up with the unwanted and sometimes inappropriate sexual attention from men that seems to go along with being a younger woman. I see that as positive, but it doesn’t work in favour of those older women without partners who are interested in dating and forging relationships with members of the opposite sex. Too often, they go unseen while older men look instead at women who are twenty years younger.

So, do we simply accept being invisible? Short of jumping up and down and screaming, “CAN’T YOU SEE ME?” what can we do to be more visible? In order to keep this post from becoming too long, that will be the topic of tomorrow’s post. In the meantime, though, I’d really like to hear your thoughts about this topic. What has your experience been? If you don’t feel comfortable sharing here, please feel free to email me at elainedebock@gmail.com.

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