Sometimes it’s hard to be humble

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One of the characteristics of grace listed in yesterday’s post was “acts with humility, not pride.” As I pondered my One Word for 2018 and asked myself how I’m doing at becoming a woman of grace, I was also challenged to examine myself and wonder how I measure up in the area of humility.

The Bible has plenty to say about being humble. The book of Proverbs contains many warnings for those who refuse to put others before themselves and both the Old and New Testaments tell of blessings for those who do. Colossians 3:12 has become my life guide. “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.”

There’s an old country and western song that says, “Oh Lord it’s hard to be humble when you’re perfect in every way!” I’ve also heard it said that if you think you’re humble, you probably aren’t. So how can we know if we’re humble or not?

After much reading and pondering, I came up with the following 20 characteristics of a humble person. I’m sure it’s not exhaustive, but I think it’s a reasonably good checklist.

A humble person…

  1. is not boastful
  2. is able to set aside personal preferences for the sake of others
  3. treats others with respect
  4. is not easily offended
  5. is grateful for what they have
  6. is able to rejoice with others
  7. is not wise in their own eyes
  8. is teachable
  9. is able to seek advice or ask for help
  10. willingly serves other people without drawing attention to themselves
  11. accepts their own limitations
  12. accepts correction without becoming defensive
  13. takes responsibility for their actions and apologizes when wrong
  14. is merciful, forgiving quickly and not holding grudges
  15. doesn’t get frustrated with the weaknesses of others
  16. is self-controlled
  17. listens to others and doesn’t feel the need to speak their mind in every situation
  18. is comfortable allowing others to have centre stage
  19. doesn’t always have to be right
  20. doesn’t insist on their own way

In a “me first” world, it isn’t always easy to be humble and there are many misconceptions about what it means. In the same way that being gracious is not the same as being wishy-washy or weak-kneed, humility is not a sign of weakness. Being humble is not belittling or undervaluing oneself, nor is it an indication of poor self-esteem. Like grace, humility is actually a strength.

Humility

Growing in grace

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With a thick blanket of snow still on the ground, it’s hard to believe that it’s the middle of March already. We’re two and a half months into a new year and an incident this week reminded me of my One Word for 2018.

Grace.

How am I doing? My initial response indicated to me that I still have some growing to do in order to become the woman of grace that I would like to be.  It also prompted me to think about what that woman would look like. How would she respond in challenging situations where it’s sometimes difficult to show grace?

Almost three years ago, Christian author, speaker, and Bible teacher, Kathy Howard, penned this list of 15 characteristics of grace (compiled from passages in Ephesians and 1 Corinthians) on her blog.

A person of grace…

  1. Doesn’t insist on being right, but seeks to make things right
  2. Is willing to be inconvenienced
  3. Seeks the welfare of the other person
  4. Speaks words that build up, not tear down
  5. Doesn’t demand to be heard, but strives to listen
  6. Focuses on others needs instead of their own
  7. Acts with humility, not pride
  8. Doesn’t keep score
  9. Looks for ways to help and encourage others
  10. Freely forgives
  11. Seeks to understand
  12. Doesn’t expect a return
  13. Focuses on the important over the urgent
  14. Doesn’t pick and choose whom to show grace
  15. Doesn’t overlook sin, but encourages holiness

I would also add…

16. Doesn’t always have to have the last word

After this week’s incident, I think perhaps I need to focus on #4. I consider myself quite gifted with words, but it’s a gift that can be used positively or negatively. I can speak life or condemnation. It’s pretty easy for me to write a scathing response to something that irritates or upsets me, but as a person of grace I would choose to use gentler words.

Does this mean that a gracious person is wishy-washy? Absolutely not! It’s entirely possible to be strong, even assertive, and yet still be gracious. Jesus was a perfect example.

That thought brings me to #7, another area for self-examination. Humility. But that will be the topic of another post.

grace not perfection

 

The always stylish denim jacket

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LogoIn the world of fashion there are trends like the bell sleeves that I wrote about last week, that are often short-lived, and then there are timeless fashions that never go out of style. I’ve been thinking a lot about one of those lately. Perhaps it’s the fact that winter seems to be going on forever this year, but I’m getting very tired of my winter wardrobe and I’ve been dreaming of the day when I can begin wearing my denim jackets again.

The jean jacket is a classic fashion staple that’s comfortable, casual, and easy to wear. Created in the United States in about 1880 by Levi Strauss, it was originally designed as a durable, heavy-duty jacket to be worn by cowboys, miners, and railroad workers. Over time, however, it has become a wardrobe staple for men and women alike.

I don’t suppose any woman really needs three blue jean jackets, but all of mine are thrifted (I spent a total of less than $10 on them) and each one is different. For the purpose of these photos, I’m wearing each of them with my grey striped Breton tee and dark wash jeans. Yes, you can wear denim-on-denim! Just make sure the washes are different.

My favourite is a traditional jean jacket from Gap.

The second one, from Jones New York, is made of very lightweight denim. It has snaps instead of buttons and the pockets give it a slightly dressier look. It also has a bit of elastic at the sides for a closer fit.

The third, from Fylo, is a fitted blazer style. Its brass buttons set it apart from the others, but the faded denim keeps it looking casual.

Not all denim jackets are blue, of course. Here’s one that comes in a wide variety of colours and it’s on sale right now. I love the Monticello Peach! This cute one in a floral print is also on sale.

My black denim jacket (also thrifted) from Bianca Nygard has appeared on the blog a couple of times in the past. With its silver sparkle and big blingy buttons it is super easy to dress up, but it can still be worn casually as shown here.

What’s not to love about a denim jacket? It’s stylish and amazingly versatile. You can wear it with almost anything, so don’t save yours only for casual wear. Here, the second jacket shown above adds an effortless, casual vibe to a much dressier outfit. I’m wearing it with the Treasure Dress from cabi’s Fall 2017 collection. I seldom wear heels, but I thought these ones, passed down to me by my very generous sister-in-law, added to the dressy summer look that I was going for here.

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Now, if spring would only get here!

International Women’s Day 2018

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Tomorrow, March 8, is International Women’s Day 2018. This year’s theme is #PressForProgress with an emphasis on pressing for progress on gender parity. The International Women’s Day website presents a strong call-to-action and gives many specific suggestions. Here are some that caught my attention:

  • question assumptions about women
  • challenge statements that limit women
  • always use inclusive language
  • work to remove barriers to women’s progress
  • buy from retailers who position women in positive ways
  • assume women want opportunities until declined
  • select women as spokespeople and leaders
  • support visible women
  • supportively call-out inappropriate behaviour
  • be a role model for equality
  • ensure credit is given for women’s contributions
  • celebrate women role models and their journeys
  • support awards showcasing women’s success

While these are all well and good, I question whether or not the “international” in International Women’s Day is being forgotten. I question whether these actions will make much difference to our sisters in parts of the world where girls are still forced to undergo female genital mutilation. Will they help the estimated 21 million unwanted girls in India, who often get less nourishment and schooling than their brothers? Will they help the 29 women recently arrested in Iran for protesting the obligatory Muslim headscarf by taking theirs off in public? Will they help the thousands of girls and women in Africa and Asia who walk an average of 6 kilometres a day to collect clean water for their households? Will they do anything for those who are the victims of human trafficking?

I’m not saying that life is perfect for women in the first world. The #MeToo movement has made it abundantly clear that we need to confront the widespread issue of sexual assault and harassment and there is no doubt that we need to continue addressing the issue of equal pay for equal work, but compared to women in much of the world, most of us have it pretty easy.

What, then, can we do to press for progress for women whose lives are so much more difficult than ours? First of all, we need to educate ourselves, to look beyond our comfortable lives and become aware of what the issues are and which reputable organizations are working to change them. If you’re serious about wanting to have an impact on the lives of women around the world, I would suggest that you begin by reading Half the Sky: Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women Worldwide, by Pulitzer Prize winning journalists Nicholas D. Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn. Kristof and WuDunn are upfront and clear; they hope to recruit their readers to get involved, to become a part of a movement to emancipate and empower women by helping provide the economic resources that can help transform brothel slaves into businesswomen. All too often, money in the hands of men goes to alcohol and prostitution but in the hands of women, it nurtures children, feeds families and promotes education. Half the Sky not only inspires the reader to get involved, it gives many suggestions how.

It was after reading Half the Sky that I began making micro loans to women in third world countries through Kiva, the world’s first online micro-lending platform. Kiva is a non-profit organization that allows a person to lend as little as $25 to a specific low-income entrepreneur in one of 83 countries around the world. When a loan is repaid, the money can be withdrawn or used to fund a new loan. Since making my first loan eight years ago, I have made a total of 44 loans to women in 19 different countries. To watch Kiva’s 59 second video marking International Women’s Day, click here.

What will you do to press for progress this International Women’s Day?

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Winter fun!

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Today was supposed to be a weight lifting day, but when snowshoes are delivered to your door in the morning, it’s the first day without any wind in absolutely ages, and this is waiting just down the street, plans just have to change!

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Ever since our snowshoe adventures over the Christmas holiday, snowshoes have been on our shopping list and we finally ordered these ones from Costco. They’re Canadian made and we especially like the bindings with their easy-to-use ratchet buckles. They come as a kit with a carry bag and telescoping poles that can also be used as trekking poles in the summer.

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This winter seems to be lasting forever, but now that we have our snowshoes, I’m much less anxious to see spring arrive! Hopefully we have a few more opportunities to get out and enjoy the snow before it melts away. On the other hand, that is the golf course we’re snowshoeing on!

Trying a trend

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LogoThough I like to be aware of what the latest fashion trends are, I’m not one who jumps onto every new boat that passes by. For the most part, I want my wardrobe to be made up of timeless pieces that I can wear for many seasons. When I do decide to try something trendy, I’m often a bit late to the party.

Bell sleeves have been on trend for about a year now and I’ve been studiously avoiding them for a couple of reasons. First of all, I wore them back in the early 1970s. I distinctly remember sewing myself a bubble gum pink mini dress with voluminous bell sleeves. Somehow I couldn’t quite picture my 65-year-old self in a style that I wore when I was 20!

My second reason for avoiding them was practicality. I have nothing against the look, but unless the sleeves are short or three-quarter length, those bells get in the way. I simply don’t want my sleeves dragging in my dinner!

Bell sleeves aren’t going anywhere in a hurry though. They’re definitely sticking around for spring and summer 2018, so when I found this top on a Northern Reflections sales rack for 75% off its regular price, I couldn’t resist.

I love the colour, the fit is perfect, and at less than $20, what did I have to lose? The bells are smaller than many and if I get tired of them or the trend passes quickly, I can simply cut them off. I think this top would look equally good with three-quarter length sleeves.

I’d like your help

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LogoEarlier this month, I had the opportunity to shop my sister-in-law’s closet again. Though I’m a little taller, Sue and I are very similar in size and can usually wear one another’s clothes without alteration. Before we arrived for our annual February visit, she had done another major closet clean out and had several large bags of clothing waiting for me to go through.

Today I want your opinion on 4 tops that now hang in my closet. Please be honest about whether or not you think I should keep them and tell me why.

#1

 

I actually like everything about this one from Cleo, one of my favourite Canadian fashion retailers. It fits perfectly and the soft polyester knit with a hint of spandex is oh so comfortable. Teal is one of the colours that suits every skin tone and the pattern doesn’t overwhelm me. The shirttail hem with ties at the sides takes it one notch up from a simple t-shirt.

#2

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Sue tends to wear dramatic colours and patterns while I favour neutrals. This one, also from Cleo, combines the two. Though fuchsia is also a colour that most women can wear, I like having the beige and grey tones closer to my face. I love three quarter length sleeves and this top is long enough that I can wear it over leggings. Though I love the look of the wide trim on the sleeves and the bottom edge, it does tend to catch on things.

#3

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I love the length and the fit of this button down tunic from Northern Reflections, another Canadian retailer. The lightweight polyester drapes beautifully, but I wonder if the pattern is a bit too intense for me. Perhaps it looks better under my denim waterfront shirt from cabi. What do you think?

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#4

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This silky blouson style top, also from Cleo, is actually a petite. It’s shorter than I usually wear, but other than that it fits well and the sleeves are long enough. It’s very lightweight and would make a good transition piece for spring (if it ever gets here!), but again, I wonder if it looks better under a sweater like my shirttail cardigan from cabi.

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Now that I’ve shopped Sue’s closet, please help me curate mine. Let me know your thoughts about these 4 tops in the comment section below.

 

Blind date with a book

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To celebrate Valentines Day, the Killam Municipal Library, just up the road from us, decided to play matchmaker. “Going out on a blind date is a lot like opening up a new book – you never know what kind of experience you are going to have!” announced the library website.

I’ve never been on a blind date, but I decided to give this one a try. After all, it fit rather well with my New Year’s resolution. I stopped by the library during the first week of February and chose this one from a selection of similarly wrapped packages.

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Filled with anticipation, I hastened home and I quickly unwrapped my “date”. It definitely wasn’t love at first sight! In fact, my initial response was disappointment. Kind of like imagining someone tall, dark and handsome, then opening the door to find a date who, at first glance, isn’t really attractive at all.

Escape to Havana, Nick Wilkshire

The idea of escaping to an exotic locale intrigued me, of course, but a quick look at the cover told me that the book was a mystery, not a genre that I’m particularly fond of. In fairness, though, I felt that I had to give my blind date a chance and so I began to read.

I didn’t realize it at the time, but the message on the outside of my package was a clue to what was inside. “Start a new chapter in your life,” it said. Main character, Charlie Hillier, is a Canadian bureaucrat whose marriage has just fallen apart in a very public way. When the chance to start over by accepting a posting to the Canadian embassy in Havana comes up, he jumps at the opportunity to escape the embarrassment and get as far away from his ex-wife and his dead end job at Foreign Affairs headquarters in Ottawa as he can.

Originally from St. John’s, Newfoundland, Nick Wilkshire is a lawyer living in Ottawa. Escape to Havana, published in 2016 is the first book in his Foreign Affairs Mystery series.

In spite of my initial apprehension, my date turned out to be fun. Escape to Havana is a light, but entertaining read. I’m not sure that an avid mystery fan would find it very satisfying, especially the rather far-fetched ending, but I enjoyed Wilkshire’s easy writing style and his sense of humour. He did a masterful job of bringing Havana to life. From the oppressive heat and humidity to the dilapidated buildings and ancient vehicles to the wonderful food, he gives his reader a real sense of modern day Cuba.

Would I go on another “blind date with a book”? As in real life, I would prefer to know who I’m going out with, but this was a fun experience, so yes, I probably would. For those who are really keen about the idea, there’s Blind Date with a Book.com. Subscribers receive a “blind date” once a month for six months based their favourite styles and genres. Me, I’ll just wait to see if the Killam Library does this again in the future.

Along with my “date”, there was a Rate Your Date form included in my packet. Everyone who returns the form with their book before February 28 will be entered in a draw. My “date” has gone back to the library and my fingers are crossed!

 

Garbage soup

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What do you do with your vegetable scraps? If you’re a gardener, perhaps you compost them and make good use of the nutrients that way. If not, this post is for you!

Food waste is an enormous problem worldwide. According to the United Nations Food and Agriculture Organization, 1.3 tonnes of food is thrown out each year. Here in Canada, according to a 2014 report, $31 billion worth of food ends up in landfills or composters every year. I’m terrible at math, but if I’ve done my calculating correctly, that’s over $870 per person! Shockingly, 47% of that waste comes from private homes, not restaurants. Fruits and vegetables account for the highest amount of food wasted. Instead of adding to this global problem, why not use your vegetable scraps to make broth that can be used in a wide variety of ways. It’s really very simple:

Think potatoes, carrots, celery, cabbage, lettuce, cucumber, onions, mushrooms, bell peppers, beets, tomatoes, cauliflower, pea pods, zucchini and other squash. The possibilities are almost endless! Since you’re going to make use of the outer layers instead of throwing them out, make sure you wash all vegetables thoroughly to get rid of dirt and/or pesticide residue. Remove the tops, bottoms, skins, and stems and toss them into a large Ziploc bag.

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Keep the bag in the freezer and add to it until it’s full. I also add bits of leftover vegetables after a meal is over. Frozen, the scraps will keep for 6 months or more, but I find that I can easily fill a bag in 2 or 3 weeks.

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Once the bag is full, dump it into a large pot and add enough water for the scraps to begin to float.

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Bring it to a boil and simmer for several hours.

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Strain the liquid off and discard rest.

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Your scraps can even do double duty if you choose to compost what remains.

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Every batch of broth is a little bit different depending on the composition of the scrap mix. Some are mild; others more robust in colour and flavour. I always do a taste test before using or freezing the broth. So far, I haven’t had to throw any away, but my daughter did have one batch that reminded her of stinky pond water!

The broth will keep for 3 or 4 days in the refrigerator or 4 to 6 months in the freezer. If I don’t plan to use it within a day or two, I freeze mine in containers of approximately 2 cups each.

Looks like I’d better defrost that freezer soon!

There are many recipes that call for vegetable broth, of course, but it has plenty of other uses as well. You can add extra flavour and nutrition to stews, curries, and even rice by using broth instead of water. Sometimes I turn a whole batch into a big pot of hearty vegetable soup by simply adding chopped onion, celery, an assortment of fresh or frozen vegetables, some barley or rice, salt, pepper, and other herbs or spices to taste. There’s something weirdly satisfying about turning your garbage into soup!

The right to bare arms

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LogoKim Campbell was Prime Minister of Canada for a little over four months in late 1993. She was was the first, and to date, the only female prime minister of this country. In addition to being a politician, she’s been a diplomat, a lawyer, a university lecturer and a writer, but when it comes to fashion, I think she’s a little out of touch!

Kim Campbell

Campbell created a furor this week when she posted this on Twitter.

Kim Campbell Twitter post

Bare arms undermine credibility and gravitas and are demeaning to women? Really? How ridiculous and archaic!

Campbell is hardly a prude, nor is this the first time she’s created a hullabaloo over bare arms. The first time, however, they were her own. In 1990, the then Minister of Justice posed for a bare shouldered photo while holding her judicial robes in front of her.

Kim Campbell

Some considered it quite scandalous, but I think the photo is rather artistic and I like what it was meant to symbolize. Ms. Campbell recently tweeted that it represented “the juxtaposition of bare shoulders (femininity) and legal robes (male dominated power structure).” Apparently it was also intended to symbolize the law as protection for women.

I’m having a hard time reconciling a woman who championed those values with one who thinks that bare arms are degrading to women! As I said, perhaps she’s just a little out of touch.

Personally, in my younger years, I was self-conscious about showing off my arms because I felt that they were too skinny. It wasn’t until I was almost 40 and started to work out with weights that I felt comfortable going sleeveless. Now it’s my favourite look for summer. In fact, I can hardly wait for our long Canadian winter to come to an end so I can begin wearing them again.

What about you? Do you go sleeveless? Do you think that sleeveless dresses are unprofessional or demeaning to women? I’d love to know your opinion.