The most important things

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I had a different idea in mind for this week’s post, but then I read something that caused me to pause and think about the important things in life. The truly important things.

If I were to ask many people what’s most important in life, their answers would probably include things like family, good health, happiness, financial or job security, and a safe place to live. Depending on their circumstances, they might even say enough to eat or clean drinking water. These are, after all, very important. In fact, it was some of these things that first came to mind when I started asking myself what’s most important in life, but then I thought of something else.

When Jesus was asked which commandment was most important, He replied, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbour as yourself.'” 

My faith, my personal relationship with God, is the most important thing in my life because it’s the only thing of eternal value, but it was actually Christ’s second statement that I was thinking about when I sat down to write this post. “Love your neighbour as yourself.” The Bible actually has a lot to say about how we treat one another. In fact, the “golden rule” that we were taught as children actually comes directly out of Scripture. Luke 6:31 says, “Do to others as you would have them do to you.”

So why have I been thinking about the importance of how we treat one another? In Canada and the US, at least, and perhaps other parts of the world as well, we have become very polarized people. We are sharply divided along political lines. No sooner had Canadians drawn together in response to threats from our southern neighbour than our own federal election tore us apart again. As I feared would happen, we went from “elbows up” unity to attacking one another for our political views. Nowhere was worse than on social media where people tend to say things they wouldn’t say in person.

Politics is important, but is it the most important thing? Is it worth losing friendships over? Surely each of us is entitled to have our own opinion and to express it without condemnation. Can’t we disagree, but still treat one another with respect or must we vilify those who don’t see eye to eye with us?  After all, while we might not agree on which party is the right one to govern or which leader is the most competent, we all want the same things. We all want what’s best for our country, our families, and ourselves.

Perhaps the most important things in life aren’t things at all. Perhaps our character, who we are and how we treat others, is much more important.

Where in the world are you?

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When it comes to the blog, I’m a bit of a stats junkie. Every 30 minutes WordPress provides updated statistics showing how many readers have visited my site and which posts they’ve read. I especially enjoy looking at the map and the list that tells me where those readers are located. It always amazes me that the words that I type reach such far reaching points on the globe!

 

This map represents the last seven days with the darker shades of blue indicating where the most readers are located. Over time, the majority of my readers have been in the United States and Canada, but the UK, Australia, New Zealand, India, and Germany are also well represented.

While WordPress provides me with lots of interesting information, your identity is protected. It doesn’t tell me who the individuals are who read my posts. Unless you leave a comment either on the blog or on Facebook, I don’t actually know that you’ve been here.

One of the things that I enjoy most about blogging is connecting with people in many different places from different walks of life. I live my life out loud here on the blog. I share everything from my thoughts on fashion to my faith to my life with cancer. Today, I’d like to know more about you. I’d love it if you would tell me where you’re reading this from. It can be as simple as a one word answer, but if you’re comfortable doing so, why not tell me a little more about yourself. If you’re a regular reader, I’d also love to know what kind of posts you enjoy the most, what you’d like to see more of on the blog, and what doesn’t interest you at all.

Today I’m hoping that you’ll step out of that patch of blue on the WordPress map and say hello!

Book of the month – April 2025

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I often pick up books to read at the local thrift stores, so they’re not always recent releases. The book I’ve chosen for this month’s review was published in 2015.

The Hummingbird

Stephen P. Kiernan

This book is really three stories in one, each distinct, but all connected. Deborah Birch is a seasoned hospice nurse assigned to care for an embittered and lonely history professor whose career ended in academic scandal. As his life slowly ebbs away, the professor, an expert in the Pacific Theater of World War II, begrudgingly puts his trust in Deborah and begins to share with her an unpublished book that he wrote. As she reads to him from his story about a Japanese fighter pilot who dropped bombs on the coastline of Oregon, he challenges her to decide if it is true or not.

The chapters that Deborah reads to the professor alternate with chapters of the primary story. At first I found that disconcerting. I even wondered if it would be okay to skip those, but I’m very thankful that I didn’t as they are an essential part of the story. Like Deborah, I was soon drawn into the substory and wanted to know if it was factual. I even found myself searching the internet to find out!

At home, Deborah’s husband, Michael, has recently returned from his third tour of duty in Iraq. Suffering from PTSD and haunted by the faces of those he had to kill, he is a changed man. While gently helping the old professor die, Deborah also struggles to help her husband heal and to restore the loving marriage that they once had. It is through the professor’s book that she begins to understand Michael and how to help him conquer his demons.

The author does a masterful job of intertwining the three stories and tying them together. The Hummingbird is a powerful, thought-provoking book that deals very sensitively with human frailty, dignity in dying, the effects of war, and the healing power of love. Ultimately, it is a deeply moving story of forgiveness and redemption.

Often, when I finish reading a second-hand book, I return it to the thrift store for someone else to buy, but this one’s definitely a keeper!

Three trips in one

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As a lover of words and written language, I’ve long been a collector of quotes. Three years ago, when I read Between Two Kingdoms: A Memoir of a Life Interrupted by cancer survivor, Suleika Jaouad, I jotted this one down: 

“When we travel, we actually take three trips. There’s the first trip of preparation and anticipation, packing and daydreaming. There’s the trip you’re actually on. And then, there’s the trip you remember. The key is to be present wherever you are right now.”

The concept of three trips in one really resonated with me because in my experience it’s so true! We seldom go on organized tours or use a travel agent because I prefer to do all our travel planning myself. For me, that’s part of the fun of travelling. It’s the trip before the trip. Thankfully, hubby is a great travel companion and he’s almost always happy to go along with whatever I plan.

Here’s another quote that definitely describes us:

While our departure is still a little over a month away, I’m definitely into trip one of our next big travel adventure. Our flights are booked and paid for, accommodations arranged, and necessary visas received. Now, that those essentials have been taken care of, I’m into the fun part which is researching our destinations and planning the things we’ll see and do while we’re there. I’m also starting to think about what I’ll pack.

Where are we going, you ask? I’m not ready to reveal that just yet, but I will tell you that this adventure is part mission trip and part tourist travel. When the time for trip two, the real trip, arrives, I’m sure I’ll have lots to share with you!

Resurrection Sunday!

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If you are one who usually reads my blog on Fridays, you will have noticed that there wasn’t a new post this week. We spent Good Friday with family and it was indeed a good day. In the morning, we attended a solemn service commemorating the final 24 hours leading up to our Lord’s crucifixion. I don’t think there’s any better way to explain the significance of Good Friday than by sharing the B.C. comic. It says it all. Jesus took my place. He took your place. And He did it willingly. Thankfully though, that wasn’t the end of the story.

Today is Easter, the day that we celebrate the fact (yes, it is a fact) that the broken, battered body that was laid in a borrowed tomb overcame death and rose again! A more fitting name for the day would actually be Resurrection Sunday.

It is thought that the word, Easter, which doesn’t appear in the Bible, was probably derived from the name of Eostre, a pre-Christian goddess in England who was celebrated at beginning of spring. Given the symbolism of new life and rebirth, it seems fitting to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus at this time of year, but the real reason that this time of year was chosen is the close proximity to the Jewish Passover. It was during the Passover festival that Jesus was executed.

Regardless of what we call it though, Easter is the most important day on the Christian calendar. It is the day that we celebrate victory over sin and death.

“Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die.”  John 11:25

If you haven’t accepted Jesus as your Lord and Saviour, this verse might seem like nonsense to you. How can we live if we die? Look back at the comic. Death is the punishment for our sins, our wrongdoings. The Bible tells us that there is no one without sin, not even one, except for Jesus Christ, and He chose to take our punishment. Yes, our bodies will eventually die, but the essence of who we are is not this physical body. It is the spirit that lives within. On Resurrection Sunday, we celebrate the fact that if we accept His payment for our sin, the spirit that is the real me, the real you, will spend eternity with Him. We will not die!

This is not religion. It’s not a set of rules and regulations. It’s a relationship; a relationship with the one who made us and who willingly died for us.

How do I know that this is true? I know because almost fifty years ago He changed my life completely. He took a messed-up life that would surely have ended in despair and transformed it into one that experiences deep inner peace and joy even in the most trying of times. I know because He speaks to me. Like a child with a parent, I don’t always like what He says, but I’ve learned that He always wants what is best for me. I know because He is always with me. I am never alone.

If you don’t know this kind of peace, why not make this Resurrection Sunday the day you decide to accept His free gift of life? It’s as simple as ABC. Admit that you are a sinner (we all are!) Believe that Jesus willingly took your place, died for your sins, and rose again in victory over sin and death. Confess Him as Lord of your life and choose to live in obedience to Him. If you choose to do that today, please let me know, or if you have any questions, feel free to email me at elainedebock@gmail.com.

The tomb is empty. Happy Easter!

Judith Viorst: Embracing age with style

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After writing about heavier topics the past couple of Fridays, I wanted to write something lighter this week and I really felt like it was time for another fashion related post. Earlier in the week, I was still thinking about what to write when Pam Lutrell shared a link to an article on her blog, Over50Feeling40, that caught my attention.

If you’re like me, you might be familiar with the children’s book, Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, but what I didn’t know was that the author, Judith Viorst, has published at least 50 books, many for children, but some for older readers. In fact, I didn’t really know anything about Viorst until I read the article, At 94, I’m Still Worth Looking At.

It was fun to read about her “looks” throughout the years. There was her Greenwich Village Girl look in her 20s followed by her With-It Mommy look in her 30s. Later came her Hat Lady years when she seldom went out without a hat from her vast collection. Hats, she says, flattered her face, drew attention away from her aging body, and hid her hair on bad hair days. I can identify with that! Now 94, she says she’s not finished finding new looks yet. Her newest look is Tattooed Grandma. No, she hasn’t gone under the needle. Instead, she wears a temporary tattoo of a rose on the side of her neck, slightly below her right ear. Each tattoo lasts about a week.

I hope I look half as good if I live to be 94!

But what really resonated with me was what Viorst had to say about aging and invisibility, something I’ve written about before on the blog. She asks, “Why does it feel so important to be seen? Aren’t there more meaningful things to think about, to read about, to do?” She writes about people who feel that attention to looks will “obscure and distract us from what is truly significant”. In response she writes, “But the people I love the most embrace what’s playful and fun as well as what’s profound. Celebrate as well as cogitate. And are willing to discuss, without apology, both eyeliner and the meaning of the universe.”

I love that! In times like these when the world seems upside down and sometimes tragedy hits close to home, regardless of our age, let’s not forget to embrace both the serious and the fun side of life. Right now, I’m looking for joy in the little things. In the coming of spring. In the tiny green shoots coming up in the garden beneath my kitchen window and the teeny, tiny buds forming on the trees.

What not to say to grieving parents

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This has been a very tough week. Young friends of ours were involved in a tragic accident that took the life of one of their children. Two others are still in critical condition. Immediately after the accident occurred, we were called and asked to go to the hospital because, as parents who lost a child a long time ago, “you will know what to do.”

What do you do in a situation like that? What do you say? We went, but we said very little. There really are no words that are adequate at a time like that. A hug, a gentle touch, or even just your presence might be all that is needed.

Sometimes even the most well-intentioned words can be hurtful, so here are a few things not to say to a grieving parent.

  1.  “I know how you feel.” No, you don’t! Regardless of how close you are or even if you’ve lost a child yourself, you can’t know how another person feels.
  2. “She’s in a better place.” Even if you believe that to be true, it doesn’t address the parent’s tremendous sense of loss. A parent wants their child to be right here, right now.
  3. “God must have needed another angel.” First of all, that’s theologically unsound. People don’t become angels when they die and even if they did, according to Revelation 5:11 God has “thousands upon thousands” of angels. He doesn’t need another one. 
  4. “Everything happens for a reason.” What possible comfort could that be to a parent who has lost a child?
  5. “At least you have other children.” or “You can always have another child.” While these statements might be true, one child can never replace another. 
  6. “Be thankful for the time you had with him.” Unless the parent expresses this sentiment themselves, it’s not appropriate to tell them how they should feel. 
  7. “Call me if there’s anything I can do.” While this is a generous thought, asking for help is difficult at the best of times and a parent in the midst of profound grief might not even know what they need. Instead, look for something specific that you can to do, then offer or if it’s appropriate, simply go ahead and do it.
  8. Finally, try not to make suggestions about what you think they should or shouldn’t do. As Ernest Hemingway once said, “In our darkest moments, we don’t need advice.”

Do offer sincere condolences. It’s enough to simply say, “I’m so sorry for your loss.” Don’t be afraid to show emotion and as time goes by, don’t hesitate to mention the child by name and to share favourite memories of him. 

Lastly, remember that the old adage “time heals all wounds” is not true. While the intense pain of immediate loss does soften with time, a parent’s heart never truly heals. We don’t “get over” our loss, we simply learn to live with it.  

Book of the month – March 2025

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I confess that I haven’t been very faithful about posting monthly book reviews lately, but I’m determined to change that.

The Book Thief

Markus Zusak

I’ve been avoiding books set during World War II lately. Over the past year or so I’d read so many of that popular genre that I was growing weary of them, but The Book Thief was different from most.

Nine-year-old Liesel Meminger is illiterate when she comes to live with foster parents Hans and Rosa Hubermann in the fictional town of Molching, Germany in 1939, but she brings with her a copy of The Grave Digger’s Handbook, found partially hidden in the snow beside her brother’s grave. With the help of her accordion-playing foster father, she learns to read and a love affair with books begins. She steals books from a Nazi book-burning, from the mayor’s wife’s library, and from anywhere else that books are found, but she isn’t a thief without a moral compass. She only steals a book when she has read the ones she already has, usually several times over. She reads with her neighbour, with a young Jewish man hidden in the Hubermann’s basement, with the mayor’s wife when she goes to pick up laundry, and in the neighbourhood shelter when bombs are falling.

In the author’s native Australia, The Book Thief is generally classified Adult Fiction, but it has often been marketed as a Young Adult novel in North America. It has, however, been challenged several times when included in school curriculums because of violence, course language, and disturbing scenes. While I wouldn’t consider it inappropriate for teenage readers, it certainly isn’t juvenile in writing style or theme. In fact, the style is so out of the ordinary that I actually found it difficult to get into at first, but I’m glad I persevered. Character development is one of the books greatest strengths and perhaps the most unusual thing about it is the use of Death as the narrator.

And now it’s your turn. If you’ve read The Book Thief, what did you think of it? Have you read any good books lately? What are you reading now?

Elbows up, Canada!

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“Elbows up!” has become a rallying cry for Canadians as we face looming threats from south of our border, but what does it mean? Where did it come from? The phrase actually had its origin in hockey which seems entirely appropriate for a nation so obsessed with the sport.

Canadian-born Gordie Howe, also known as Mr. Hockey, actually had a second nickname: Mr. Elbows. Humble, generous and gentlemanly off the ice, he was known for wielding his elbows like weapons when he was battling for the puck. It’s such an enduring part of the Gordie Howe legend that a bronze statue outside Saskatoon’s SaskTel Centre portrays the hometown hero with his left elbow held high, as if fending off an invisible opponent.

In these days of punishing tariffs on Canadian exports and repeated gibes from the American president about becoming the 51st state, Gordie Howe would seem to be a good example of what it means to be Canadian. We are known worldwide for our unfailing politeness. We open doors for strangers and if you bump into us, we apologize, but clearly, when we’re threatened from outside, we respond with elbows up!

At protests across the country, Canadians have chanted the phrase and held their placards high. #ElbowsUp has been appearing all over social media, as both a call to stand against the threats and a warning to our neighbours that although Canadians might be polite, we’re not pushovers. We’re a bit like siblings on the playground. We might squabble amongst ourselves, but let an outsider threaten one of us and we come together in solidarity!

Now that we are facing a federal election, my fear is that our polarized views on who should lead the country in this current battle will divide us again. More than ever, during these unprecedented times, we need to remain unified. We need to stand together shoulder to shoulder with our elbows up. I pray that regardless of which party comes out on top and which leader is chosen, we will do exactly that.

Elbows up, Canada! 

Strong and free!

Returning to the stage!

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For many years, community theatre was a big part of my life, but the last time I was on the stage was pre-COVID. By the time the pandemic restrictions were lifted and our local theatre group began working on another play, I had moved on to other pursuits. For their next two plays, I was a member of the audience which definitely felt weird! 

Then early last fall there was an audition call that I absolutely could not pass up. For twenty years or more, the group had been talking about doing a musical, but we just didn’t have the talent necessary to pull it off. That has changed, however, and Flagstaff Players had finally decided to tackle Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. I didn’t even stop to think about whether or not I could fit this into my schedule. I had to do it!

I am not particularly musical, but I can carry a tune in a group and I’ll be singing in the women’s chorus. This is the largest cast we’ve ever had and I have the honour of being the oldest member! For me, one of the the greatest joys of acting in community theatre has been sharing the stage with some of my former students. This time, not only am I doing that, but the youngest member of the women’s chorus is the teenage daughter of a former student! Does that make me feel old? Not really! Being part of a production like this absolutely energizes me and I didn’t realize until this week that I’m probably old enough to be the mother or grandmother of every other member of the chorus! That’s okay; I’m sure there were older women in Canaan and Egypt. After all, Joseph lived to be 110 and his father, Jacob, died at 147!

There are a lot of superstitions connected with the theatre. Many stage actors swear that a bad dress rehearsal means that opening night will go well. Our final dress rehearsal on Wednesday wasn’t bad, but there were certainly some little glitches that we are keen to correct. Tonight is opening night and we are ready! We’ll be doing four shows in total; two this weekend and two next. If you’re local, I hope to see you there!