How to dress for an online meeting

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logo-by-samIn an era when online meetings have become the norm for many people, I’m about four years late to the party with this week’s topic, but as a retiree, it’s one that I haven’t had to deal with until quite recently. Of course, I was chatting online with family and friends long before Covid shut the world down and forced us to begin interacting virtually, but those were informal chats. I could have worn pyjamas and no one would have cared!

Now, however, since becoming more and more involved with patient advocacy, I’m beginning to find myself talking with professional people on a somewhat regular basis. As a patient representative, there’s no set dress code, but I’m convinced that what I say will be taken more seriously if I present myself well. I also know that I’ll feel more confident. At the same time, I want to look natural, not like I’m trying too hard. After all, I’m meeting from home, not in a formal boardroom.

Here are a few of the tips that I’ve learned:

  • choose solid colours or subtle prints – bold patterns and prints can be distracting and take attention away from your face
  • overly bright or extremely dark colours don’t look good on camera and solid white can make your face look washed out (it does that to mine in real life too)
  • choose uncomplicated necklines – a classic collar, crew neck or v-neck works well
  • wear clothes that fit well – not slouchy or loose fitting
  • avoid logos and graphics
  • choose simple accessories that won’t be a distraction
  • good grooming matters – make sure your hair and makeup (if applicable) are done
  • if you wear glasses, make sure they have non-reflective lenses
  • don’t wear sunglasses or hats
  • dress from head to toe, not head to waist – you never know when you might have to stand up!
  • keep comfort in mind – being at ease in your outfit will be a natural confidence booster

Even though I don’t have a professional wardrobe, I can easily follow these guidelines and pull items from my closet that will work well for the meetings I attend.

And finally, a couple of other pointers to improve your online appearance:

  • avoid fluorescent lights and overhead lights if possible – ideally, the light should come from behind the camera and shine on your face
  • position the camera at or slightly above eye level and situate yourself so that you fill most of the screen
  • keep the background uncluttered or blur it if the online tool you’re using allows
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Image by Alexandra Koch from Pixabay

Book of the Month – August 2024

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Forgiveness: A Gift from My Grandparents

Mark Sakamoto

Screenshot 2024-08-30 at 12.24.18 PMIn this compelling family memoir, Canadian lawyer Mark Sakamoto writes about his grandparents’ harrowing experiences during World War II. In so doing, he shares with us one of the ugliest and most shameful parts of our country’s history, the forced evacuation of Japanese Canadians from the coastal areas of British Columbia.

The author’s paternal grandparents, Hideo and Mitsue Sakamoto, both Canadian citizens born in Canada, were living and working in Vancouver when the war broke out. They were forced from their home and relocated to a sugar beet farm in southern Alberta where they lived in a crudely converted chicken coop and worked like slaves. They lost their possessions, their community, and their freedom and when the war was over, the government of Canada reimbursed them $25.65, less than 2% of the value of their lost possessions and wages. 

While the Sakamotos were eking out an existence in southern Alberta, the author’s maternal grandfather, Ralph MacLean, experienced a very different war. A young soldier from eastern Canada’s Magdalen Islands, he was shipped out to Hong Kong where he was captured by the Japanese army. Spending the remainder of the war in prisoner of war camps, he enduring illness, abuse, and degradation at the hands of his captors. Barely surviving, he was released at the end of the war and returned to Canada where he found work in Medicine Hat, Alberta.  

A generation later, Ralph and his wife come face to face with Hideo and Mitsue when their daughter falls in love with the Sakamoto’s son. It is a testament to both sides when they are able to put aside the past, choose to forgive, and become friends. 

In the final third of the book, the author focuses on his own life’s story, particularly the trauma that he experienced after his parents’ marriage ends, his mother remarries a violent man, and her life descends into the depths of alcohol and drug addiction. The theme of forgiveness ties the story together, however; forgiveness learned from his grandparents. 

I would caution those who are interested in historical accuracy that the book does contain a few errors related to geography and timing that should have been caught by the editor, but keep in mind that the writer was depending on his grandparents’ memories and telling their story rather than basing his book on historical research. 

Forgiveness: A Gift from My Grandparents won the Canada Reads 2018 award and a stage adaptation by Hiroko Kanagawa played in live theatres across Canada in 2022-2023. I vaguely remember hearing about it then and now I wish that I had purchased tickets and made the effort to travel to the city for a performance. 

 

Shopping our closets for fall 2024 trends

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logo-by-samI’m always reluctant to admit that it’s time to think about fall or to talk about fall fashions, but days are getting shorter and nights are getting chillier. Whether I like it or not, there’s a hint of autumn in the air. With that in mind, I thought I’d take a look at some of the fashion trends for fall 2024, not because I plan to go shopping anytime soon, but because I want to shop my closet to see which ones might already be there. Perhaps you’d like to do the same.

When thinking about trends, keep in mind that just because something is popular at the moment doesn’t mean that you have to wear it. A stylish woman knows what’s trending then chooses what to incorporate into her wardrobe based on her own taste, personal style, body type, and lifestyle.

Fall is a time to get cozy. Wraps, shawls, oversized scarves, and capes are definitely having a moment. I’ll be pulling out two pashminas that I bought in the market in Siem Reap, Cambodia in early 2009 as well as a couple of wraps that feel like warm hugs. I especially love this one which was a gift from my son and his family who reside on the BC coast.

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Like wraps and shawls, turtlenecks are warm and cozy. Never completely out of style, they’re especially popular this fall. I used to love wearing them and wish I still could, but since I had major neck surgery to remove a cancerous tumour I no longer find them comfortable.

Denim dresses and skirts will be popular this fall and double denim, once considered a fashion faux pas, is actually on-trend this season. I don’t have a dress or a skirt in this always popular fabric, but I do have both dark and light denim shirts. When I do go shopping, I’ll be on the lookout for a denim shirt dress, something that’s been on my wish list for awhile already.

Wide leg jeans are still on-trend, but so are straight legs and is it possible that skinny jeans are also coming back? Actually, I don’t think they ever completely went away.

This fall’s blazers have a nipped in at the waist hourglass shape and classic tweeds, herringbone, and suiting fabrics are popular. I’m thinking that this one, which you’ve seen on the blog before, fits the bill fairly well. Leftover from my teaching days, it’s a bit snug now, but as long as I don’t try to button it, which I wouldn’t do anyway, I think it works. For a classy casual look, try pairing an on-trend blazer with jeans, a tank top or t-shirt, and a ladylike shoe.

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Speaking of shoes, there’s a move toward elegance in women’s footwear. Ballet flats continue to be popular, but Mary Janes, kitten heels, pointed toes, and slingback styles are back in vogue. Did you happen to notice the elegant kitten heels that Michelle Obama wore with her MONSE suit when she spoke at the Democratic National Convention last week? If not, check out the photo in last Friday’s post. I have a similar, but probably much less expensive, pair that I haven’t worn in ages. Perhaps I’ll wear them again this fall.

Popular colours this fall will include soft buttery yellow, warm browns (toffee, chocolate, expresso), burgundy or wine, deep green, olive green, teal, and navy. There was a time when brown was my go-to neutral and my closet was full of it. Over time, however, I’ve gravitated more toward navy. I still like brown though, so perhaps this fall or winter when it’s still readily available would be a good time to add a bit more brown back into my wardrobe. A pop of red is also on-trend for fall. Think a red handbag, scarf, or red shoes. This pair ticks three fall fashion boxes… kitten heels, slingback, and red!

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Finally, animal prints, especially leopard, are still in style for fall. I definitely have a few tops in that print that I will continue to wear.

This is not meant to be an exhaustive list and as you can see, there’s plenty of crossover from last fall meaning that, like me, you can probably find some of these trends in your closet without having to go shopping.

Another cancerversary!

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Eleven years ago today I was told that I had stage 4 colon cancer. Thankfully, a biopsy proved that diagnosis inaccurate or I probably wouldn’t be here to tell you about it today. According to the Canadian Cancer Society, the 5-year survival rate for colon cancer that has spread from its original location to distant parts of the body is 11%.

What I do have is neuroendocrine cancer (NETS), a slow-growing cancer that originated in my colon, more specifically in the cecum which is part of the colon. By the time it was diagnosed, I had been experiencing vague symptoms for several years. In fact, I was told that I’d probably had it for 7 to 10 years. At diagnosis, it had already spread to lymph nodes and my liver. Accurate stats and information about survival rates aren’t as readily available for neuroendocrine cancer because it isn’t as well-known or well-documented as many of the more common varieties, but I don’t really need to know those numbers. I just need to know how I’m doing right now and I found that out last week.

In response to my oncologist’s, “How are you?” as he entered the examining room, I replied, “I’m good.” Glancing at the notes in his hand, he enthusiastically responded, “Yes, yes you are!”

I wasn’t as exuberant about the results of the previous week’s CT scan as he appeared to be. I had hoped to hear that March’s TheraSphere treatment had completely annihilated the largest tumour on my liver. In fact, it had only shrunk by about 20%. The doctor hastened to remind me that shrinkage is always a good thing. That, combined with the facts that I’m not experiencing any symptoms and that the scan also showed “no progression of disease” is actually very good news!

I’ll have another CT and more lab work done in November, but in the meantime I’ve got lots of living to do. In addition to the many ways that I’ve found to stay active and busy in retirement, I’ve also become more active in patient advocacy over the past year. As a member of the CNETS (Canadian Neuroendocrine Tumour Society) Advocacy Advisory Board, I’m working with other patients and caregivers from across the country to try to increase awareness of our disease, shorten the pathway to diagnosis, advocate for equal access to treatment for patients across the country, and promote research into newer and better treatments. I’m also involved in meetings with a group of patients and health professionals around the world as part of an initiative by Ipsen, the pharmaceutical company that produces the medication that I’m injected with every 28 days, to try to improve the patient experience.

That reminds me of another recent change. Hubby is now giving me that monthly injection which frees us up to take it with us when we travel instead of having to be at home to wait for the nurse’s visit. A cancer diagnosis is life changing for a partner or caregiver as well as for the patient, so this is really his cancerversary too. We aren’t doing anything special to celebrate, but we’re thankful for another year of relatively good health; another year of life!

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Not really a fashion post

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logo-by-samI expected the blog to be quieter than usual over the summer months. In fact, I warned you about that at the end of this post back in June. I didn’t expect it to be totally silent for the past three weeks though! The fact that we’ve only been home for a total of six days during that time has had much to do with that, but there’s also been the thought that I don’t want to write and post simply for the sake of writing and posting. I don’t want to contribute to the “noise” of social media unless I actually have something worth saying.

When I introduced Fashion Friday back in March of 2016, I wondered how long I’d be able to keep it going. How soon would I run out of things to write about? More than eight years later, I’m actually surprised that it’s lasted this long! While I’m not ready to retire the topic yet, I do admit that I’m finding it more and more difficult to come up with new and interesting content. This might mean some changes to the blog in coming months, but at the moment that’s just something I’m mulling over. In the meantime, there will be a real Fashion Friday post next week that will look at some trends for fall.

One thing I tend to steer away from on the blog is politics. As a Canadian, I’m watching from the sidelines as the campaign south of our border unfolds, but I realize that its outcome affects all of us. We’re part of a global community.

I was especially inspired by former first lady Michelle Obama’s emotional, but fiery speech at the DNC in Chicago on Tuesday. If you haven’t watched her speech, it’s well worth tuning in for the entire 20 minutes here. Hope is indeed making a comeback! Hope is my one word for 2024 and for me it has been an especially meaningful one.

While this isn’t really a fashion post, I must make mention of the stunning outfit that Michelle Obama chose for her speech. There was clearly symbolism in the futuristic design of the midnight blue MONSE Resort 2025 Crisscross Jacket and Tuxedo Pant as she spoke about hope for the future of her nation.  “In 77 days, we have the power to turn our country away from the fear, division, and smallness of the past. We have the power to marry our hope with our action.”

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Shopping for a dress, a cautionary tale

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LogoWhen we received a wedding invitation this week I immediately decided that I would be shopping for a new dress. It’s been absolutely ages since I’ve bought one or had a good reason to. The wedding isn’t until next spring so I have plenty of time to find the right one, but just for fun, I decided to do a quick search of a few of my favourite fashion retailers to see what was out there. 

At this point, I don’t have a specific style, colour, or fabric in mind. All I know for sure is that the dress needs to be suitable for a wedding, I want to feel fabulous in it, and I want to be able to wear it for other occasions in the future. In my initial search, I only found two that stood out to me, both from Laura Canada. 

Glitter Capelet Midi Dress

Wrap-Style Shimmering Dress

As I said, I wasn’t looking for a particular colour, but it’s obvious that Marine, as Laura calls the dark navy, appeals to me! I wonder though, is it too dark for a spring wedding? It does have the advantage of also being suitable for winter occasions. 

Of course, as soon as I started looking at dresses online, ads began showing up everywhere… on my Facebook feed and even when I was trying to read the news. Right now, while I’m just browsing and considering what I might want to buy, that’s not a bad thing as it gives me lots of possibilities to think about. 

I actually fell in love with the look of this one that popped up almost immediately. 

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If I was an impulsive shopper, I might have ordered it, but I’m not and I won’t. The seller was one I’d never heard of and the website was pretty sketchy looking which is why I’m not sharing a link with you. There were just too many red flags. 

  • prices that were too good to be true
  • “sale ends today” pressure to buy immediately
  • lack of information about the company
  • lack of a phone number, physical address, or live chat option
  • no independent reviews of the company or their products
  • lack of detailed information about the product such as what kind of fabric the dress is made of

If that wasn’t enough, I knew that something was very wrong when the identical picture showed up the next day on a similar looking website with an entirely different name! The internet is definitely buyer beware territory and when I do buy my dress, it will probably be in person. 

Book of the month – July 2024

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Crossing Oceans

Gina Holmes

9781414333052At the outset, Gina Holmes’ Crossing Oceans reminded me of a sappy Christmas movie. You know the ones… after several years away, beautiful young woman returns to her quaint mid American hometown where she encounters sweet, kindhearted, and inexplicably single man from her past who sweeps her off her feet and solves all her problems.

I was okay with that. Having just finished reading the memoir of an esteemed Chinese professor who lived through the horrors of the Cultural Revolution, I was ready for some fluff; some light summer reading.  

Crossing Oceans surprised me. First of all, I didn’t realize that it was a Christian novel. Had I known that, I might not have picked it up. As strange as it might sound, considering the fact that I’m a committed follower of Christ, I read very few Christian novels. Although there are exceptions, too many of them are unrealistic, happy ever after romances somewhat on par with those mushy Christmas movies. While the main characters in Holmes’ novel are professing Christians, it isn’t preachy. They are far from perfect, and their problems aren’t swept away because they believe in God. 

When Jenny Lucas left home, single and pregnant, she promised herself that she’d never look back. Six years later, knowing that she’s dying of cancer, Jenny returns to the sleepy North Carolina town where she grew up to decide who will raise her little girl when she is gone. Will it be her father with whom she has had a difficult relationship since the death of her own mother when she was a teen? Or will she choose Isabella’s dad who doesn’t even know that he has a daughter? Animosity between the two families adds to her dilemma. Can they put aside their differences and help both Jenny and Isabella face what lies ahead? 

This is a sad story, but not a depressing one. It’s a poignant story of love and loss, but also forgiveness and healing. Jenny faces her situation with determination, courage, stoicism, and even a sense of humour. As I neared the end, I couldn’t help wondering how the story could possibly end in a satisfying manner, but without giving anything away, I’ll simply tell you that I wasn’t disappointed.

The notebook

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No, I’m not talking about Nicholas Sparks’ debut novel or the award winning movie adaptation. I’m talking about an actual notebook.

Some of the very best advice that I received in the early days following my first cancer diagnosis almost eleven years ago was given to me by a medical technician administering an unrelated bone density test. “Get yourself a notebook,” she told me. “One of those ones with several sections where you can keep track of different things. Take it to your appointments with you and write things down.” It sounded like good advice, so as soon as I left the clinic I headed over to Walmart and found exactly what I needed, a Five Star 5-subject notebook.

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There’s a section where I record tests, procedures, and treatments; another one for consultations; and one where I keep a record of the injections that I receive every 28 days… when, where, who administered it, and any reaction that I might have. There’s also a section where I record some of my test results. I have access to those online at MyAHS Connect, but there are a couple of tests that are done regularly that I like to keep a written record of so that I can easily note trends. Finally, there’s a section where I write down questions to ask at my next appointment. More than one of my doctors has commented that they wish more of their patients would do that.

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Not only is my notebook separated into sections, but each divider has a pocket front and back. Those have been great for storing business cards, handouts, consent forms, vaccination records, a family medical history, and my personal directive. One pocket also holds two very important lists; my current medication list and a list of my past surgeries, all fourteen of them. Unless you spend a lot of time seeing doctors, you probably have no idea how often I’ve needed those two lists; how many times I’ve been handed a clipboard and asked to fill out forms that require me to list all my medications and past surgeries. Without those lists, I’d be stumped. What year did I have my gall bladder out? What’s the name of that blood pressure med and what dose do I take? With my notebook in hand, all that information is at my fingertips.

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Thankfully, the notebook has a strong plastic cover and a stiff cardboard back. Without those, I doubt that it would have lasted all these years. After all, I’m sure it’s been to at least 150 appointments with me!

If you or anyone you know is ever diagnosed with a serious or chronic health condition, I’d definitely recommend getting a notebook. It really has made my journey easier.

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Live with it and love it

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My baby turned 40 this week. In fact, because my “Irish twins” are less than a year apart in age, his sister is also 40! And they’re my youngest! Is it any wonder that I’ve been thinking about age this week? Either I’m getting old or they’re catching up to me!

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In reality, I’m not bothered by my age. Surprised maybe. Time seems to have gone by so quickly. But bothered? No.

For as long as I can remember, advertising has been hoodwinking women into believing that we lose value as we age; that our goal in life should be to hang on to youth or the appearance of youth for as long as we can. Hogwash! I like what Helen Mirren, who celebrated her 79th birthday this week, had to say about age. “At every age, you lose some things but you gain other things. That’s the kind of magic that happens, so deal with it. You either die young, or you get old. Enjoy the ride!” In this short video she says her age has always been an asset and her advice is to all of us is to “live with it and love it.”

While I’m happy to be the age that I am, especially considering the fact that when I was first diagnosed with cancer I had no expectation that I would live this long, that doesn’t mean that I want to look old. I just don’t want to waste my time and energy trying to look young when I’m not. I simply want to be my authentic self, a woman in her 70s who loves life and hasn’t given up on herself. I’m sure that many of you can identify with that. 

So how do we accomplish this? Thinking about what you want your appearance to say about you and choosing 3 to 5 adjectives to describe your personal style can be very helpful in building a look that conveys the right message. You can read about how I arrived at my 5 style adjectives here. 

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What I wear during a heat wave

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logo-by-samHere in Alberta, we’re enjoying (enduring?) a stretch of unusually hot weather. Midday temperatures are hitting the low to mid 30s C (mid 80s to mid 90s F). I know that this might not seem overly hot to many of you, but for those of us who live in an area that is described as having a cool, continental climate, this is hot! The heat warning issued by Environment Canada calls this a “prolonged heat event” and suggests that “very high temperature conditions are expected to pose an elevated risk of heat illnesses, such as heat stroke or heat exhaustion.”

Personally, you won’t hear me complaining about the heat. I often feel cold when everyone around me is warm, so I don’t mind a bit of heat for a change. Golfing this afternoon with barely a breeze moving the flags on the course was just about enough for me though! So how do I dress during a heat wave?

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A lot of women my age (I’m 71) aren’t comfortable wearing shorts and/or sleeveless tops, but when it’s hot, you’ll find me wearing both. Light colours reflect the heat and loose fitting tops are more comfortable than something form-fitting or clingy. Although the top I’m wearing in the photos is a made of a polyester blend, a breathable, lightweight fabric such as linen or cotton would be an even better choice.

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A wide-brimmed hat and sandals complete my outdoor wear. I exchange the hat for a ball cap when I’m golfing, hiking, or kayaking.

You’ll notice that, except for a simple pair of earrings, I’m not wearing any accessories. When it’s really hot, I don’t want anything extra against my skin. If you looked really close, you’d also see that I’m makeup free. When it comes to cosmetics, I’m a minimalist at the best of times, but when it’s hot, I prefer not to wear any at all. Of course, If I was going to an event, especially an indoor event that required a higher level of dress, I would probably add a necklace and/or bracelet and some makeup.

Finally, for outdoor wear, regardless of the event or activity, there’s one item that is absolutely essential… sunscreen! The dermatologist I saw recently recommends a minimum of SPF 30, but I always wear one with SPF 50+.