Imperfect Christmas

Other than the sounds of the washer and dryer chugging their way through a mountain of bedding and towels, our house is a great deal quieter and seems much larger than it did yesterday! With the departure of our children and grandchildren, we’ve gone from twelve people back to three.

There was a time when I harboured unrealistic expectations for Christmas time imagining carols quietly playing while angelic children and happy adults enjoyed one another’s company without a hint of discord. Meals would be perfectly turned out and everyone would gather around the table looking like we belonged in a Norman Rockwell painting.

6a00d8341c8f3e53ef0162fcc27b93970d

Expectations like that are #1 on The Big Sheep Blog’s list of the Top 10 Ways to Inflict Holiday Torture Upon Yourself!  This year, I decided ahead of time that I didn’t need the stress of unrealized fantasies. Instead, I chose to toss them out the window and go with the flow. Thank goodness I did!

One family arrived with nasty colds and another brought stomach flu. Over the past week, the two ailments were passed around with only Richard and I failing to succumb to either one! We’re chalking that up to our many years in the classroom where we were exposed to every bug that came along. In addition to the coughing, sneezing and vomiting that surrounded us, one of the wee ones spiked a high fever and she also required a late Christmas night trip to ER for a nose that wouldn’t stop bleeding!

It isn’t easy being sick away from home and it’s even more difficult with young children. Add to that the dynamics created by families with very different parenting styles and philosophies and the crowded house held even more potential for dissension. It was noisy, it was chaotic, it was messy and at times, nerves were frayed, but it was also wonderful to have all my chicks under one roof.

Games have always been part of our family get-togethers and even the youngest members got in on the action.

IMG_3519

Even when the temperature plunged to -25ºC (-13ºF), the children, who ranged in age from two to five, were happy to play outdoors. Snow was shoveled

IMG_3371

and quinzees built.

   IMG_3508

IMG_3512_2

The playground was visited.

IMG_3476

IMG_3463

We skated

IMG_3527

and tobogganed.

IMG_3555

And when it was too cold or tummies were too tender, stories were read.

IMG_3521

It might not have been a Norman Rockwell painting and it wasn’t perfect but it was Christmas, we were together and I am thankful.

Dinosaur adventure

At the beginning of June, when we were still in China, Richard received an email from our then three-year-old grandson, Sam, transcribed by his Dad.

“I want to take you to the dinosaur museum with us when we go to your house.”

Sam and his family, who live in Vancouver, are here to spend Christmas with us and today we made the long awaited trip to the dinosaur museum. Located a few kilometres from Drumheller in the heart of the Canadian badlands, the Royal Tyrrell Museum of Palaeontology is one of Alberta’s primary tourist attractions as well as a world class centre of palaeontological research.

The boys were wildly excited about today’s adventure. When our daughter-in-law, Robin, woke them early this morning, two-year-old Nate jumped out of bed and announced loudly, “We’re going to the dinosaur museum! I need my shoes on!”

It was -29ºC (-20ºF) and dark when we piled into the vehicles and began the almost three hour drive.

Though we’ve visited many times, the museum never ceases to impress us. There are amazing dioramas

IMG_3432

and faces that only a mother could love

IMG_3425   IMG_3433

but it’s the bones that I find the most astounding, especially the towering skeletons.

IMG_3413

IMG_3418

Sharing another of our province’s highlights with Sheila was fun. There she is, knee high to a dinosaur!

IMG_3437

Keeping up with an exited two-year-old was challenging though. There he goes!

IMG_3400

The boys were done by noon so after lunch in the museum cafeteria, Matt and Robin headed homeward with them while Richard, Sheila and I spent a while longer at the museum and then drove through the valley to the hoodoos, sandstone towers that formed when softer rock eroded away. By this time, the temperature had climbed to -18ºC (0ºF) so we ventured out of the warm car for a quick walk amongst the stately pillars.

IMG_3444

Our last stop before leaving the valley was Bernie & the Boys Bistro in the town of Drumheller. Sheila wasn’t sure if she’d ever had a milkshake and Bernie’s has 71 flavours to choose from! She chose blueberry, a flavour that’s become a favourite of hers since arriving in Canada, and I had chocolate raspberry truffle! Definitely a delicious way to end to a great adventure!

Cultural surprises

Sheila has been with us for over two weeks already but she continues to be amazed by something new almost every day. In her eyes, my kitchen is a magical place. Most of the small appliances and gadgets that we take for granted are brand new to her. Like most Chinese kitchens, the one in her parents’ home doesn’t have an oven let alone a toaster, a bread maker or a food processor. Her eyes nearly popped out of her head the first time she saw me using my electric knife!

It’s not only the appliances that surprise her, however. Most of our food is also new to her. Though she’s familiar with a lot of the ingredients, we cook them entirely differently and even I’ve been surprised at how many convenience foods I use. We tend to eat a healthy diet avoiding a lot of processed foods but I do depend on things like pancake mix that are completely foreign to her. Breakfast cereal is also something she’s never eaten before. So far, Harvest Crunch, a sweetened granola with coconut and almonds, is her favourite. She’s accustomed to a spicier diet than ours and the ketchup bottle has become her best friend. In fact, she’s dubbed herself a “ketchupholic”!

The rest of the house contained many surprises for her too. Not unexpectedly, even though I’d explained the bathroom to her the evening she arrived, it took a flooded floor to remind her that the shower curtain must be inside the tub when you take a shower! That’s a common blunder for Asians when they first arrive on our shores as an Asian bathroom is basically an oversized shower stall and bathtubs are not common in China.

Laundry brought more surprises. Though we had a fitted sheet on our bed in China, Sheila had never seen one until we stripped the beds to wash the sheets! She thought I must have sewn the elastic corners myself. (In case you were wondering, fitted sheets were actually invented by an African American lady named Bertha Berman in the 1950s.) The clothes dryer also fascinates her as clothing is hung to dry in China.

That brings me to a topic that has been a big surprise to Richard and I. When we lived in China, we were amazed to see people in the street wearing their pyjamas. What we didn’t realize until Sheila came to stay is that Chinese people wear their pyjamas whenever they’re at home! Sheila only dresses to go out and immediately changes back into pyjamas when she gets home. Of course, if you’re just stepping out to run a quick errand, why bother changing at all? Sheila has been out with me more than once now in her pjs and I finally understand why we saw people walking down Little Street dressed that way!

While we continue to learn much about Chinese life from Sheila, it’s definitely been fun looking at our own lives through the eyes of someone for whom almost everything is brand new!

Magnificent mountains

We came to Calgary after church yesterday to spend a couple of days with our daughter and her family but the main purpose of our trip was to take Sheila to see the Rocky Mountains. It was snowing when we woke up this morning and a cold wind was blowing. The recently updated road reports indicated that the highway to the west was in good condition, however, and though the weather forecast called for scattered flurries, it also mentioned sunny breaks.

We left the city in near blizzard conditions wondering if we’d see anything at all but an hour later, there they were; a wall of rugged mountains standing against a band of blue sky! We drove out of the storm and into a spectacular day. Bright sunshine glistened off the snow covered peaks and the snow flurries never materialized.

IMG_3337

Our first stop was Banff where we browsed several souvenir stores and enjoyed lunch in a quaint little restaurant just off the main street.

IMG_3339

After stopping just outside town to enjoy views of the mostly frozen Bow River, we continued north toward Lake Louise.

IMG_3340

IMG_3346

In spite of the colder temperature at Lake Louise’s higher elevation, we walked down the the lakefront to enjoy the view. Though partially hidden by cloud, it was still magical.

IMG_3354   IMG_3352

IMG_3353

We were back in Calgary in time for supper thankful for a wonderful day and for the opportunity to share one of our country’s most beautiful areas with a very delighted Sheila.

The spirit of Christmas

“A very Merry GIFTMAS!” proclaims the latest Canadian Tire advertising flier. Really? Is that what this season is all about?

Sadly, for too many people Christmas has become little more than a commercial frenzy and a time of ever increasing stress. We mouth the words to traditional carols announcing peace on earth, goodwill to men as we rush from store to store and bills pile up. Perhaps young families feel it the most. Mounting costs and time constraints make it difficult for them to find any peace and joy during this season.

My daughter’s latest Facebook status and her sister-in-law’s response say it so clearly.

Picture 2

Over the years, we’ve tried to focus on the reason for the season and keep our Christmas preparations simple but obviously we need to look for ways to make it even less stressful; less about the gifts and the preparations and more about the CHRIST of Christmas.

Sharing our Christmas preparations with Sheila this year is making me more conscious of the things we do simply because we’ve always done them that way. There’s nothing wrong with traditions. In fact, they often make life easier. Planning Christmas dinner is simplified by the fact that we prepare basically the same meal year after year, but if those traditions become a source of stress and anxiety, perhaps they need to change.

I haven’t done a lot of decorating yet but, as always, the first thing to come out was the beautiful olive wood nativity set that my parents sent us from the Holy Land the year they spent Christmas there. As we put out each piece, Sheila, who had absolutely no idea why we celebrate Christmas, and I read the accounts of Jesus’ birth from Luke 2 and the visit of the magi from Matthew 2.

IMG_3319

But then, out came Santa Claus and I had to try to explain his role in the story.

IMG_6251

For that, I used another favourite ornament, my kneeling Santa. Perhaps he best symbolizes what I’m trying to say today; we need to find a way to ensure that the spirit of GIFTMAS bows before the true spirit of CHRISTMAS!

IMG_3329

The job that never ends!

We loved our jobs in China! By far the most fun was the time we spent with the students who were preparing to come to North America to study but this is definitely the first time we’ve brought a student home with us!

Three of my former students are now in Ontario enrolled in ESL programs at their colleges of choice and preparing to enter regular studies there in January. Since they arrived in Canada, I’ve spent lots of time communicating with them via email, Facebook and Skype, consoling and encouraging the one who is having a very difficult time adjusting, cheering on the other two, answering questions and helping them find information on everything from yoga classes to how to make healthy bagged lunches!

Sheila is my fourth student to arrive in Canada and she’s presently sound asleep in our guest bedroom! We picked her up at the Edmonton airport last night after her long flight from China and she’ll be with us for just over five weeks. On January 2, she’ll fly to Windsor, Ontario to begin her studies at St. Clair College.

We encouraged all of our students to spend their first month or two in Canada in a home stay setting to help them adjust to Canadian life and to allow them to practice their English in a home where they would be immersed in the language. Sadly, both girls who chose that option found themselves in homes that didn’t meet our expectations; homes where they were left to fend for themselves and not incorporated into a family atmosphere. They probably would have done just as well or better living in a dorm. That’s not the sort of experience we want to give Sheila!

I’ve waited to start decorating the house and doing my Christmas baking until Sheila’s arrival so that she can join in all the fun. After all, this will be her very first Christmas! The whole family is coming home this year so she’ll experience all the noise and fun of a family celebration.

In the meantime, there are lots of other things we want to show her; simple things like a typical Canadian grocery store and things we take for granted such as how to use the myriad of small appliances on my kitchen counter. There are places we want to take her like West Edmonton Mall and sights we want her to see like the spectacular Rocky Mountains. We’ve also arranged for her to be able to visit our local high school to see and experience how different it is from schools in China.

Before we embark on a whirlwind of activity, however, we’d better let her sleep awhile longer and give her a chance to start getting over her jet lag!

with Sheila in China

with Sheila in China

Beauty after the storm

I’m in a somewhat better frame of mind than I was when I wrote my last post. There are a couple of reasons for that. First, I read this in my devotions earlier in the week.

“When faced with challenging trials we have two options: to cower and travel down the unproductive road of fear or to walk forward, believing that our risen King is fully in control of our lives.”          Kirsten Rose

It brought me up short and reminded me that while I can’t necessarily choose my circumstances, I can choose how I react to them. We all have a limited amount of time on this earth and I can choose to waste whatever time I have trembling in fear or I can be thankful that I’m feeling well and get on with living. It may not always be easy but it’s obviously the better choice.

Secondly, I had a chat with Karey, the nurse at the Cross who is the “go to” person for neuroendocrine cancer patients when we have questions or concerns. She explained that Sandostatin, the drug that I receive monthly injections of, is a “cold” or non-radioactive form of Octreotide while Lutetium, the new treatment that we’re awaiting government approval for, is radioactive Octreotide. I was under the impression that Sandostatin was only meant to control my symptoms but she assured me that it also has an effect on the tumours themselves and that though my facial tumour isn’t receptive to the mIBG that I received recently, the Sandostatin should be helping keep it under control. I may have been told that before, but there’s been so much to learn, so much information to absorb, that it obviously didn’t sink in. This time, it was reassuring.

Today was already the tenth day since my mIBG treatment. Only four more days of avoiding close contact with other people to protect them from my radioactivity! The time has passed quickly and it hasn’t been as difficult as I imagined it might be though not being able to even hug my hubby has been tough. The past three days have been particularly quiet as I sent him off to Calgary to spend a few days at our daughter’s. I had several projects around the house and a couple of good library books to keep me busy.

Yesterday, a winter storm covered most of our province with a heavy blanket of snow and very few people ventured out but this morning we woke to blue sky and glorious sunshine. Since I couldn’t go to church, I bundled up and took my camera out to capture the beauty that the storm left behind.

IMG_3281

A friend loaded up his snow blower and brought it across town to clear my driveway before going to church himself! When I looked out and saw him, I felt the arms of God wrapped around me!

IMG_3283
IMG_3284
IMG_3286
IMG_3294

Riding the roller coaster

I saw my tumours yesterday. I drove myself to Edmonton for a post therapy scan and a follow up consultation with one of the doctors. He showed me the results of the scan and there they were, lit up on the screen like mini suns; one in my colon, two on my liver and a little one in a lymph node in the middle of my abdomen. That was the good news. It meant that the mIBG that I was given on Friday had, in fact, adhered to the tumours and was beginning to do battle with them.

Unfortunately, there was also bad news. A CT scan of my head and neck, done prior to my treatment on Friday, shows that I also have a growth in the left side of my face. They were unsure about that one after the initial diagnostic tests. Unfortunately, it did not light up on yesterday’s scan which means that, unlike my other growths, it’s not receptive to mIBG and it isn’t presently being treated.

It does appear to be receptive to Lutetium, however, but that’s a newer radioisotope treatment that isn’t presently being funded by the government. The Cross is in the process of setting up a clinical trial that will give them funding for Lutetium but it takes time to wade through the red tape involved in that. It should be available for use early in the new year but it would have been so much better if my facial tumour had been receptive to both medications. That would have given us more in the arsenal to fight with. Apparently, due to it’s location, it isn’t a good candidate for surgical removal either.

I’ve heard it said that having cancer is like riding a roller coaster and now I understand. I had crawled to the top of a hill and was feeling great; then came the sudden drop!

Perhaps today is a good day to remind myself of the things that cancer cannot do.

What Cancer Cannot Do

Cancer is so limited…

It cannot cripple
LOVE

It cannot shatter
HOPE

It cannot corrode
FAITH

It cannot destroy
PEACE

It cannot kill
FRIENDSHIP

It cannot suppress
MEMORIES

It cannot silence
COURAGE

It cannot invade the
SOUL

It cannot steal
ETERNAL LIFE

It cannot conquer
THE SPIRIT

Author Unknown

Remembrance

Imagine looking out the window of the family farmhouse at Seba Beach, Alberta and seeing the military vehicle pull into the yard. Pearl’s heart must have pounded as the men in uniform came up the walk with a telegram in hand. It was 1944 and three of her sons were in the midst of battle in Europe. Which one was it? Had she lost one of them?

telegram

Glen was my father-in-law. He enrolled in the army in October of 1943 and was deployed in early January of the following year. He was just 18 years old.

We don’t know a lot about his wartime experiences. Like many who saw the gruesome face of war firsthand, he didn’t talk much about what he went through over there. We’ve only been able to piece together bits and pieces from the few things he did say and more recently, from his military record which our son requested from the Canadian Archives in Ottawa. We do know that he once spent several days in a foxhole behind enemy lines waiting to be rescued and we know that he probably suffered from what is now known as post traumatic stress disorder. According to Mother, for the rest of his life he would occasionally wake up cowering on the floor beside the bed. He was back in that foxhole terrified that, at any moment, an enemy soldier would find him and his life would be over.

Father had been in Europe for only nine months when he was seriously wounded and unable to return to action. A second telegram dated October 19, 1944 brought the incorrect news that the nature of his injury was “bomb fragment wounds to face and head.” A letter dated November 27, 1944 contained more accurate information.

“I am directed to inform you that official information has now been received from Canadian Military Headquarters Overseas advising that when your son, M-8247 Pte. Glen Marion DeBock, was wounded in action on the 6th October 1944, he suffered a bullet wound to the right orbit into the sphenoid sinus resulting in the loss of the right eye.”

He was lucky to be alive. Imagine taking a bullet to the head and surviving! He spent the remainder of 1944 in hospitals in the UK followed by another three months in Shaughnessy Hospital in Vancouver before finally being discharged with a prosthetic eye.  Life would never be the same for this young farm boy, however. He often suffered excruciating headaches and like many of his compatriots, he took to drowning his vivid memories in alcohol. It wasn’t until the final years of his life that he gave up drinking and found peace in a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

On November 11, as we pause to remember, we give thanks for so many young boys who went off to war with high ideals and ended up paying for our freedoms with their lives; many making the ultimate sacrifice and others, like Father, surviving with shattered dreams and broken bodies. In reality, these are the men who gave us freedom of religion, freedom of speech, and all the other freedoms that we take for granted in this great land.

Let us never glorify war but let us remember those who were willing to go and fight on our behalf and those who continue to do so.

shortly after discharge      Picture 1

Behind the lead wall

For those of you who might be wondering about my time behind the lead wall, my room looked much like any other hospital room.IMG_3270

My Victoria’s Quilt added colour to the otherwise bland decor and a great library book, And the Mountains Echoed by Khaled Hosseini, author of The Kite Runner and A Thousand Splendid Suns, kept me occupied.

It wasn’t just like any other hospital room though. There’s the yellow line on the floor that I wasn’t allowed to cross, the shield that the nursing staff stood behind when they entered the room and the teeny tiny window out into the hallway.

IMG_3271

Fortunately, the wall on the other side of the room was a bank of windows looking out over the busy street or I might have gone completely nuts. It was through those windows that I spotted my crazy and wonderful girlfriends after dark on Friday evening as they waved and danced a cancan in the parking lot for my benefit! They were in the city for our annual Christmas shopping trip which I, unfortunately, had to miss out on this year. When they took time out of their evening to come see me, here’s what they saw.

Picture 1

They also brought chocolate! That tells you both how well they know me and what good friends they really are! The care at the Cross was absolutely fabulous but the food was bad. Really bad! Chocolate helped a lot. In addition to what the girls brought, my husband and son dropped off a Dairy Queen chocolate sundae. I was indeed spoiled!

Water was the essential element in getting me out from behind the lead wall though. Immediately after my IV injection  of mIBG on Friday, my radiation level was 53 µSv/h at two metres distance. I really don’t know what that means but it had to be below 18 before I could be released. While approximately 20% of the radioactive iodine that I was injected with would hopefully adhere to my tumours and begin fighting them, the remainder needed to be flushed from my system. That’s where the water came in. While I was warned not to drink enough to make myself sick, the more I drank and the more I urinated, the sooner I’d go home. I went through several jugs of water and exactly 24 hours after my infusion began, I was down to 14 µSv/h!

I felt no immediate effects of the treatment but the doctor knew what he was talking about when he said that I’d be tired for a few days. Today I feel like I’m suffering from jet lag! Oh well, since I have to keep my distance from people anyway, my calendar is clear and I can nap as much as I need to.

Zzzzz