Women’s issues

Women are persons too!

/ edebock / 9 Comments

Today is International Women’s Day, a day to reflect on the plight of women worldwide. Women’s rights have come a long way since the first International Women’s Day in 1911 but we still have a very long way to go. Here are just a few random statistics:

  • one in ten women in the Democratic Republic of the Congo has been the victim of rape, many of them more than once
  • women in Saudi Arabia are not permitted to drive
  • in Afghanistan a woman is 200 times more likely to die during childbirth than from warfare
  • women perform 66% of the world’s work but only receive 11% of its income
  • 66% of the world’s illiterate adults are women
  • women own only 1% of the world’s land
  • 20 to 50% of married women worldwide experience some degree of domestic violence
  • every year an estimated 2 million girls are subjected to genital mutilation

In spite of the fact that Afghanistan’s president, Hamid Karzai, stated publicly yesterday that “Men are fundamental and women are secondary” that country is not considered the worst place in the world to be a woman. Apparently that honour goes to Yemen where women are not only the property of men, unable to leave the house without the permission of a male relative and vulnerable to arbitrary arrest on the street even once they have that permission, but are also likely to be illiterate, to be married before they reach puberty, and to die in childbirth.

In comparison, we have it easy here in Canada. So easy, in fact, that we have a hard time imagining what life is like for our sisters in other parts of the world. On the other hand, when my grandmother was a young woman, married and raising two children, she was not, according to Canadian law, a person! It wasn’t until October 18, 1929 due to the persistence of five Alberta women — Emily Murphy, Nellie McClung, Irene Parlby, Louise McKinney and Henrietta Muir Edwards — that women were legally declared persons in this country and given the right to vote.

How have we done since that time? Not as well as we might like to think. Canada ranks 40th in the world for female political representatives, better than both the US and the UK but tied with Iraq and far below many other nations including both Cuba and Afghanistan!

Recognizing that rural women play a key role in both developed and developing countries, the United Nations chose Empower Rural Women – End Hunger and Poverty as the theme for this year’s International Women’s Day. Women make up 43% of the agricultural workforce worldwide. Estimates reveal that if they had the same access to productive resources as men, they could increase yields on their farms by 20 to 30%, lifting 100 to 150 million people out of hunger. Lack of adequate education and health care, gender inequality and limited access to credit are some of the challenges that face rural women in many parts of the world today. What can we do to change that?

Given the right resources, women are powerful agents for change. Research shows that when a woman is able to contribute to her family’s income, she uses the majority of her earnings to build a better future for herself and her children. I choose to make a difference though contributing to Kiva loans. I loan specifically to women, many of them rural women. For example, my most recent loan was made to Lucia, a cattle breeder in Nicaragua, who borrowed money to purchase two oxen which she will use to till the soil and plant grain.

What will you do?

Nellie Mcclung, Irene Parlby and I - Parliament Hill, Ottawa, Canada

Emily Murphy and I

Henrietta Muir Edwards and Louise McKinney

What influences your sense of self-worth?

/ edebock / 11 Comments

This post has been brewing for awhile. In fact, I started it once, discarded it and now I’m starting it again. Richard and I are doing a weekly Bible study with two other couples using Charles F. Stanley’s How to Reach Your Full Potential for God. One of last week’s questions resulted in some serious self examination.

What influences your sense of self-worth?

The study guide offered the following list of possible responses:

  • ___  entertainment
  • ___  relationships
  • ___  education
  • ___  hobbies
  • ___  goals
  • ___  possessions
  • ___  employment
  • ___  appearance
  • ___  service
  • ___  God
  • ___  other: ______________

I don’t have a problem with low self-esteem. In fact, I feel pretty darn good about myself. Many factors on this list contribute to that: healthy, affirming relationships; hobbies like writing and drama; and of course, my relationship with God, to name just a few.

At the bottom of the list, my “other” is my children. I am so proud of the fine young adults that they’ve become and it irks me when people say “You’re so lucky that your kids turned out so well”. I have news for you, folks! It isn’t luck! Parenting well is hard work. I know that there are no guarantees and even some of the best parents have troubled kids but I believe that I (we) did a great job and yes, knowing that definitely adds to my feelings of self-worth.

So why is it that something as superficial as appearance influences my sense of self-worth so strongly? The next question in the study guide asked “In what areas of life are you most likely to compare yourself to others?” and I had to admit to myself that for me it was appearance. I know that this is true of women in general but why? This question has led to a lot of soul searching on my part.

Donloree onstage

One of my favourite bloggers is figure competitor, Donloree Hoffman of Bikini or Bust. As I’ve followed her blog for the past year, I’ve come to the conclusion that I, too, am a figure competitor. Oh, I’ll never stand onstage in a spray tan and a bespangled bikini (too many stretch marks and scars from multiple abdominal surgeries make that an impossibility) but I compete with other women all the time. I’ve come to the realization that it’s not my hair, my make-up or my clothes that I look at when I’m comparing myself to others; it’s my body, my physique. I don’t look at a healthy, fit looking woman and think ‘I wish I looked like her’. In fact, I can truly appreciate and admire a well toned body. No, it’s the overweight, out of shape women that make me feel like a winner! How pathetic is that? I’m absolutely certain that this attitude doesn’t please my God, the one who created each one of us and who loves us just the way we are.

Twiggy

But why do I feel this way? I think there are many reasons. Our culture, of course, teaches young girls and women to value physical beauty above even good health. I grew up in the age of Twiggy, the emaciated looking fashion model of the 1960s. She became an instant sensation and suddenly, skinny was beautiful. In those days, my mom was overweight. She wasn’t obese but she definitely carried a few more pounds than she should have. “Just wait until you’ve had babies,” she’d tell me. “You’ll look like this too.” No, never, I vowed to myself! My father, who exercised regularly, often gave her a hard time about her weight. Is it any wonder that I grew up thinking that thin equalled beautiful? Then came marriage to a porn addict. Obviously I had to compete physically, or at least that’s what I told myself. Those are all things of the distant past now, but clearly they had a profound impact and helped shape who I am today.

So, what does all this soul searching and self-evaluation mean? Am I going to stop striving toward a better physical body? Absolutely not! There are many very good reasons to continue eating clean and exercising regularly. I believe that I am “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14). God has blessed me with a healthy body and I plan to do the best I can to keep it that way. I hope to live for another 30 years or more and I want them to be good years filled with action and adventure. Staying physically fit has so many benefits. No, that’s not something I’m about to change. I feel good and I like what I see in the mirror!  What I do hope to change is my attitude. From now on, I want to look at other women, even those who are obese and those who haven’t taken care of themselves, with compassion. I want to see the beauty that God sees in them and I don’t want my sense of self-worth to depend on them any longer.

So, now that I’ve bared my soul, let me ask what influences your sense of self-worth?

Lonely lament of a gamer’s wife

/ edebock / 4 Comments

There’s a new breed of women these days that didn’t exist when I was growing up. We’re the gamer’s wives, women married to men who spend countless hours playing video or online games. Most gamer’s wives are younger than I am. Some, like our daughter Melaina, married their husbands knowing that they would be sharing them with their games. A few even play the games themselves.

Richard used to make disparaging remarks about men who wasted hours on end playing games. Then he joined their ranks. Most men get hooked on MMORPGs, massively multiplayer online role-playing games like World of Warcraft, but Richard’s game of choice is Farmville, a social networking game favoured by women in their forties! When he started playing 20 months ago, I wasn’t surprised that it quickly consumed him. That’s the kind of person he is. When he gets into something, he’s in 110%. I am surprised, however, that it’s lasted this long. I guess that’s because I just don’t see the game’s appeal. From what I’ve observed, it looks about as engaging as watching paint dry or grass grow!

I’m glad this latest obsession of Richard’s didn’t start until after our kids were grown. The dad they grew up with started every morning reading his Bible. Now, he turns on his computer the minute he crawls out of bed and spends an hour exchanging virtual gifts with total strangers before breakfast. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that he neglects his spiritual life but it does irk me that he who claimed for many years that first thing in the morning was the best time for personal devotions, now gives that time to Farmville!

Richard doesn’t like me using words like obsession or addiction to describe his passion for Farmville but I don’t know how else to describe it and there are certainly plenty of self-described Farmville addicts out there who don’t play anymore than he does. Richard has offered to quit playing because he knows it bugs me but most of the time, I don’t actually object to him playing the game. After all, it’s pretty harmless and there are a lot worse things he could be doing but I do object to the nine or ten hour days when he only emerges from the computer room when he’s called to the table for a meal. The blogger who calls herself the gamer’s wife, who is also a certified counsellor, agrees that this is unacceptable. Fortunately, there aren’t too many days like that at our house.

I also object to the fact that when he’s absorbed in his game, he’s oblivious to whatever else might be going on. When I go into his ‘cave’ to tell him something that I think is interesting or important, I’m often met with silence or a blank look that tells me that he hasn’t heard a word I said. He didn’t even respond when I mentioned that a growing issue in divorce and estate settlements is who gets the deceased person’s online assets. I think he already knew that I’d have absolutely no interest in inheriting his pink cows!

At first, I also resented the fact that our schedule had to accommodate him being home at the right time to harvest his virtual crops. I didn’t think that that was part of our retirement plan! Apparently, either he’s much better at planning these days or that isn’t as big a part of the game anymore as we haven’t had to come home on time to harvest in a long time. I suspect it’s the latter as I know that the game has grown to include much more than simply planting and harvesting. I noticed this morning, that he even has what appears to be a marina and a lighthouse now. They sure don’t have those on the real farms around here! I’m also thinking that it’s too bad that I can’t visit his ‘farm’. I’m pretty sure it also has a spa and after spending so many hours on an actual combine over the past several days, I could sure use a deep muscle massage!

Oh well, out on the real farm Richard finished swathing today but I have many days of combining left. Now he’ll have plenty of time to overdose on Farmville while I’m not here to be bothered by it!

Work for Widows

/ edebock / 2 Comments

We had a fabulous ladies retreat at the church this weekend. Our guest speaker, Jodi Faith, is in her own words “a living sign and wonder”. She has an amazing testimony and in addition to being a dynamic speaker, she’s an international recording artist. She’s also an ambassador for Work for Widows, a humanitarian organization that offers hope for a brighter future to widowed and abandoned women in Sri Lanka.

In the aftermath of the massive tsunami that devastated much of Sri Lanka on December 26, 2004, Canadian, Pamela Porodo, who was semi-retired and living in that country with her husband, Jerry, was introduced to a young woman at one of the camps for displaced people. Six months pregnant, this beautiful 21-year-old had lost her mother, father, husband and three year old child. Without hope for a future, she was taking medicine from other survivors and hoarding it so that she would have enough to kill herself. Pam managed to talk her into giving up the bag of medication. In return, she visited a local bead shop and brought her all the requirements to begin making jewelry and Work for Widows was born. Within days, there were 14 women in the program and today there are over 120. Over 350 children being raised by mothers and grandmothers are in school today because of the income it provides. $60 a month, the price of two or three pieces of jewelry, is enough to support one of these women and their children for a month! WFW has recently been asked to move into Haiti and is in the process of doing so.

If there’s one thing that most women love to do, it’s shop so we were delighted to have Jodi bring a suitcase full of jewelry to the retreat to sell! We poured over the colourful array with delight and most of us went away with at least one piece. Each necklace, bracelet or pair of earrings came with a tag carrying the name, photograph, signature and brief description of the woman who made it. After pondering several pieces and trying a few on, I finally made my selection. Unlike most of the other pieces, my beautiful necklace had two tags. When I asked Jodi why, she told me about Pieces for Peace, a special project of WFW.

I literally got goose bumps as Jodi explained that Pieces for Peace brings ladies from rival factions within Sri Lanka together to work on single pieces of jewelry. Both the Canadian High Commissioner and the Swiss Ambassador have recognized the Pieces for Peace program as a truly successful peace-building mission. One half of my necklace was made by Kanthi from Matara in southern Sri Lanka and the other by Meeramohaideen in Ampara in the north. By creating jewelry together and writing to each other on a weekly basis, these women, one Tamil and one Singalese, have learned that though civil war raged between their peoples for more than 25 years, they can work together in harmony. Kanthi uses the proceeds of her jewelry to care for her parents while Meeramohaideen, who was abandoned by her husband when she was three months pregnant, uses hers to support herself and her 13 year old daughter.

At $40, mine was one of the most expensive items on the table but it cost far less than similar items that I’ve seen shown in fashion magazines and it was a small price to pay to contribute toward the well-being of two women! I firmly believe that empowering women in a society that traditionally discriminates against them helps not only the individuals involved but also their families and their communities.

I love the tiny hand that dangles from the clasp of my necklace. It reminds me that this unique piece of jewelry was hand made. Not only will the necklace remind me of a great weekend spent with my daughter, my sister and the women of my church but each time I put it on, I’ll also remember the hands that made it and pray for Kanthi and Meeramohaideen.


International Women’s Day

/ edebock / 1 Comment

I didn’t expect to be able to update the blog this week. We’re in Vancouver visiting my parents and I probably shouldn’t admit that I’m ‘borrowing’ internet from a neighbour! It’s a very weak connection so I don’t know if I’ll be able to finish and post this or not but I really do want to comment on the fact that today is the 100th anniversary of International Women’s Day.

What does that mean to those of us who had the good fortune to be born in a time and place where women’s lives are relatively easy? Hopefully, it’s a time to reflect on the progress that has been made over the past century that brought us to this point as well as a time to consider the plight of sisters worldwide whose lives are not as easy; women like those in Afghanistan. Though there have been many important improvements in that country in the last decade, Afghan girls and women continue to have vastly disproportionate access to education, justice and health services. They also have the worst maternal and newborn health outcomes in the world.

What can we do to help women in Afghanistan and other developing countries achieve a better life? According to CARE Canada, “women are the poorest and most vulnerable, yet greatest agents of change.” When women are empowered, conditions improve for their families and their communities. When mothers are given the resources to provide for their families, children go to school and when children go to school, great things happen.

This is why I’m a Kiva lender. I choose to contribute to loans that give women hope and enable them to climb out of abject poverty. For more information about how you can do the same, visit the Kiva website or click on the banner in the margin to the right. For other ideas, visit the Care Canada website. That’s what I’m going to do as soon as I have a better internet connection!