Sexism

Do you feel invisible?

/ edebock / 2 Comments

“One’s reward for marching through the decades is a gradual process of erasure.”                                  The Book of Lost Names, Kristin Harmel

If you’re an older woman, whatever you define that to be, have you ever been made to feel invisible? Maybe you’ve been overlooked for a project or a promotion at work. Maybe you’ve felt unseen when you entered a restaurant, a garage, or another place of business. Perhaps you’ve been ignored while younger customers received all the attention from shop attendants. Maybe you’ve felt invisible at a social or family event. If you’ve ever felt this way, you’re not alone! There’s even a name for it, Invisible Woman Syndrome.

A survey by Gransnet, a busy social networking site for people over 50, revealed that 7 out of 10 women feel that they become invisible as they get older, beginning as young as age 52. Nearly two-thirds believe that older women tend to be more invisible than men of the same age. Nearly two-fifths of the respondents said that younger people have patronized them as they’ve gotten older and a quarter said that if they’re out with a younger person, people tend to talk to the younger person rather than to them.

Many of these women are well educated and have interesting careers. They may be well traveled and involved in a variety of worthwhile activities, so why are they made to feel invisible? What is it about an older woman that society finds unpalatable? Why does she lose relevance as her body ages?

Unfortunately, age discrimination is real, especially for women, but it’s more than that. Ageism walks hand in hand with sexism. Older men are often seen as powerful and distinguished; their grey hair a sign of knowledge and experience. Women, on the other hand, often feel pressured to appear younger than they are in order to be taken seriously.

Personally, I’ve really only noticed the onset of age related invisibility in one area. I no longer have to put up with the unwanted and sometimes inappropriate sexual attention from men that seems to go along with being a younger woman. I see that as positive, but it doesn’t work in favour of those older women without partners who are interested in dating and forging relationships with members of the opposite sex. Too often, they go unseen while older men look instead at women who are twenty years younger.

So, do we simply accept being invisible? Short of jumping up and down and screaming, “CAN’T YOU SEE ME?” what can we do to be more visible? In order to keep this post from becoming too long, that will be the topic of tomorrow’s post. In the meantime, though, I’d really like to hear your thoughts about this topic. What has your experience been? If you don’t feel comfortable sharing here, please feel free to email me at elainedebock@gmail.com.

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Artwork by Hanna Sidorowicz

Sex or sport?

/ edebock / 3 Comments

LogoI’m not really a sports fan, but one thing that has caught my attention recently is the controversy over uniforms. I know that this is a much talked about topic on social media this week, but I decided to add my two cents’ worth here.

The Norwegian women’s beach handball team garnered support from scores of fans when they protested the European Handball Federation’s misogynist rules by wearing shorts instead of the required bikini bottoms during a championship game against Spain at the European Beach Handball Championships in Bulgaria last week.

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The shorts that the women wore were deemed “improper” and the team was fined €1500! The second photo shows the approved uniform.

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Something is very wrong with this picture! According to the International Handball Federation regulations, “The beach handball female player’s uniform consists of tops and bikini bottoms…the women’s tops (a midriff design) must be close fitting…with deep cutaway armholes on the back. Female athletes must wear bikini bottoms…with a close fit and cut on an upward angle toward the top of the leg. The side width must be a maximum of 10 centimetres.” On the other hand, the rules state that male players are to wear shorts, 10cm above the knee, that are not “too baggy”.

Maybe I’m just getting old and cranky, but I’m so tired of living in a world where there are different standards for men than for women; where women are admired first for their sex appeal and not for what they’re capable of doing.

Thankfully, I’m not the only one who feels this way. Shortly after the news broke, American singer and songwriter, Pink, took to Twitter to voice her support for the Norwegian women and promising to pay the fine on their behalf. While the European Handball Federation hasn’t backtracked and withdrawn the fine in response to the negative press, they have acknowledged the position taken by the players and announced that the fine will be donated to the Norwegian Handball Federation. They did not, however, state that fines wouldn’t be issued in the future.

The Norwegian gals aren’t the only ones to reject the sexualization of sport. Germany’s women’s gymnastics team is wearing full-body unitards at the Tokyo Olympics instead of the high-cut leotards worn by other teams. They first donned this new look in April at the European championships in Basel, Switzerland. At that time, the German Gymnastics Federation released a statement saying, “The aim is to present themselves aesthetically without feeling uncomfortable.” Perhaps the European Handball Federation needs to listen up! Gymnastics attire with full or half sleeves and leg coverings are allowed in competition, as long as the colour matches the leotard.

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The question is whether or not other elite athletes will follow suit (pun intended)? Change will only happen if the women themselves say “no more” to sexism in sport.

Rubbish!

/ edebock / 4 Comments

LogoAs a Canadian, I admit that I know nothing about Australian politics, but I do know that being a politician in any country isn’t easy. They can’t please everyone and their personal lives are constantly under scrutiny. I also know that being a female politician is even harder and I greatly admire South Australian MP Nicolle Flint for the way that she stood up to a journalist’s comments about her clothes this week.

Before we look at that, let’s take a look at how she dresses for her role. In my opinion, she looks classy, professional, and approachable. This is her Facebook profile picture.

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And here’s a montage of photos, also from her Facebook page. She most often chooses a basic column of black with a brightly coloured jacket.

In his Sunday newspaper column, radio host Peter Goers wrote, “Nicolle wears pearl earrings and a pearly smile. She favours a vast wardrobe of blazers, coats and tight, black, ankle-freezing trousers and stiletto heels. She presents herself in her own newsletter 23 times as a fashion plate. She has blazers and coats in black, blue, pink, red, beige, green, white, cream, floral and two in grey.” Would he have made similar comments about a male politician’s shirt colour, the width of his tie, or the shoes he wore? I think not. Though not as extreme as having her office vandalized with the word “prostitute”, being called a “skank”, or dealing with a male stalker, all part of Flint’s experience since entering politics, Goers’ comments are clearly sexist and inappropriate.

A politician needs to be thick-skinned, but no one should have to put up with this kind of disrespect simply because she’s a woman. By all means, comment on how well she does or doesn’t represent her constituents. Criticize her performance as a politician and her policies, but unless she dresses completely inappropriately or immodestly, not her wardrobe!

A video of a Flint wearing a garbage bag to protest what she refers to as “rubbish” comments on her clothes has gone viral and drawn support from across the political spectrum. If you haven’t already seen it, watch it here. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

I wish I looked that good in a garbage bag!