Mental health

Does fashion matter?

/ edebock / 6 Comments

LogoIn a world where women and children are fleeing a war torn country with nothing but the clothes on their backs and the few possessions that they can carry, does fashion really matter? In a time when opposing opinions about wearing masks and getting vaccinated have torn families and friendships apart, does fashion matter? In a patriarchal world where International Women’s Day has just pointed out gender disparity in vital areas such as education and health care, does fashion matter? These are questions I’ve been asking myself as I wrestled with what to write about today. Perhaps writing about fashion is too frivolous, or is it?

In the light of eternity, maybe fashion doesn’t matter, but it matters to Farah, a young mother in Pakistan who took out a Kiva loan to buy a new sewing machine. With it, she can supplement her husband’s meagre income by making clothes to sell and thus afford to send her children to school.

Farah - Pakistan

From growing and processing cotton and other fibres to the finished product, the fashion and textiles industry employs millions of people worldwide – roughly one in eight workers globally. Add the retail workers involved in selling the clothes and fashion matters to a lot of people!

Then there’s the question of whether or not fashion matters to us personally. Enclothed cognition is a term that relates to the effect that clothing has on the way a person thinks, feels, and functions. Studies actually show that what we wear directly affects our behaviour, attitudes, personality, mood, confidence, and even the way we interact with other people. If that’s the case, perhaps fashion really does matter. Perhaps it’s part of self-care. How we dress can reflect our personality, character, and mood. It’s a way to express our individuality and creativity. So, in this day and age, when life sometimes seems heavy or overwhelming, think about those outfits that you feel happiest wearing, the ones that you receive the most compliments on, and wear those. Let fashion give you a boost!

A very long short month

/ edebock / 2 Comments

Winter in Canada is long and cold with short hours of daylight. I always start to feel very confined by this time of year and the pandemic has definitely added to that. February might be the shortest month of the year, but this one has felt very long!

The recent rebellion in our capital city and at border crossings across the nation followed almost immediately by Russia’s attack on Ukraine have added to my gloom. The so-called Freedom Convoy in Ottawa and blockades at the border so disgusted me that I pretty much avoided the news for awhile. I blocked so many sources and unfollowed so many people on Facebook that my newsfeed became almost boring! Believe it or not, one person posted something yesterday suggesting that news about the invasion of Ukraine is just meant to distract us from the injustices happening in our own country and we need to be alert! What? Are you kidding me? With that kind of thinking swirling around me, is it any wonder that I feel like burying my head under a blanket and ignoring the whole wide world?

Unfortunately, at least in my opinion, in spite of the fact that Covid is far from over, our provincial government has decided to give in to the protesters and as of tomorrow almost all health restrictions will be lifted. Many are celebrating and I understand the feeling, but for some of us, that means less freedom, not more. I’m not immunocompromised and I’m triple vaxxed, but I’ve fought too hard for the past eight and a half years to stay alive and well to put my health at unnecessary risk, so I’ll still be wearing a mask and avoiding close contact, especially with the unvaccinated.

Not being able to travel has definitely added to my frustration. At our age, we definitely feel like our time clock is ticking and opportunities are passing us by. In their retirement, my parents visited 66 countries. Earlier this month, I spent some time reading through the journals that my father kept when they traveled; everything from short two or three day trips to nineteen months wandering Asia, Europe, and the Middle East, living most of that time in their Volkswagen camper van. Reading about their adventures was the next best thing to traveling myself and took my mind off current events, but it also reignited my wanderlust thus adding to my frustration.

A few days ago, realizing that my current state of mind was not a healthy one, I looked back at two of my earlier posts, one written in September 2020 about hitting the Covid-19 wall and the other, written seven months later, about languishing.

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I realized that my feelings of frustration and discouragement weren’t entirely new. I’d been there before. I got over the wall on those occasions and I would again. In the meantime, I decided to look back over the very long shortest month and think about the positives. What were some good things that happened this month?

  • I read eight books; three novels, three memoirs, and two non-fiction books. That’s double the number that I usually read in a month.
  • I may not be able to visit yet, but I started chatting online with our friend, Richard M, who lives in Mexico in Spanish! My daily online language lessons are beginning to pay off.
  • I edited 53 Kiva loans, significantly more than the 40 a month that I committed to when I took on the volunteer position.
  • After seeing a physiotherapist on February 1, I’ve revamped my morning exercise routine, started a new lifting program, and I’m back on the treadmill regularly.
  • Walking in town is treacherous due to icy conditions, but we discovered a mostly unused road not far from town where we can walk safely and enjoy a breath of fresh air when the weather isn’t too cold.
  • I’ve tried several new and delicious recipes using the InstantPot that I received for Christmas.

Mental stimulation, learning something new, doing something for someone else, physical exercise, fresh air, eating well… all of these are key to getting through the doldrums that may, at times, seem overwhelming. The fact that the days are becoming noticeably longer also reminds me that spring is coming and better days are ahead!

The next little while will be busy with another whirlwind of medical appointments. Hospitals and clinics aren’t my favourite places to hang out, but at least they’ll still be following Covid precautions! Sometimes you just have to look at the bright side!

Languishing

/ edebock / 5 Comments

Last September, six months into the current pandemic, I wrote about hitting the Covid-19 wall. I got over that wall, as I knew I probably would, but every once in awhile the feeling returns. Today I learned a new word for what I, and probably many of you, have been experiencing. Apparently, we’re languishing. 

The dictionary describes languishing as losing or lacking vitality, growing weak or feeble, or suffering from being forced to remain in an unpleasant place or situation. Sound familiar? I thought so!

A recent article in The New York Times calls this “the neglected middle child of mental health”. We’re not depressed, but neither are we flourishing. “Languishing is a sense of stagnation and emptiness. It feels as if you’re muddling through your days, looking at your life through a foggy windshield. And it might be the dominant emotion of 2021.”

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As a lover of words, I’m glad to have found one that accurately describes how I’ve been feeling. I’m an introvert. I don’t mind solitude, but sometimes too much of a good thing is just too much. There are days when I get up in the morning and the hours seem to stretch out endlessly in front of me; days when I wonder how I’m going to fill those hours. My life hasn’t ground to a complete standstill, of course, but like everyone else’s, it looks a lot different than it did at the beginning of 2020. I’m missing many of the things that once filled my calendar. 

According to the New York Times article, “Part of the danger is that when you’re languishing, you might not notice the dulling of delight or the dwindling of drive. You don’t catch yourself slipping slowly into solitude; you’re indifferent to your indifference.” Perhaps identifying the feeling and giving it a name is an important step toward doing something about it. 

Back in January, when my online friend, Sue Burpee, who writes the blog High Heels in the Wilderness, was languishing (I don’t know if she knew that that was what she was doing) she wrote a post entitled Just One Thing… Every Day. In it, she wrote about asking herself, “What productive thing should I achieve today?” One thing a day became her plan; one that I’ve tried to adopt.

I already had a daily routine and I knew that I was accomplishing something useful every day even if it was just making sure that there were meals on the table, but I felt like I was in a rut with no end in sight. I was definitely languishing! Trying to add one different thing to my usual routine every day has helped. Yesterday it was baking four dozen muffins, today it’s writing this unplanned blog post. Thirteen months into the pandemic, it’s easy to focus on all the things we’re missing. Trying to do something outside my usual routine, especially something that feels productive, is at least a partial antidote. 

Still, if you happen to see me and ask how I’m doing, instead of saying “Great” or “Fine”, I might just say “I’m languishing!”

So much anger!

/ edebock / 8 Comments

We’re living in a very angry world, or so it seems to me. Everywhere we look, whether in person or on social media, people seem to be protesting or venting their anger. First it was the shutdowns, then masks, and now the prospect of a vaccine that isn’t even available yet.

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Calgary, November 28, 2020 – Global

What is really behind all this anger? It’s clearly a response to what’s going on in the world around us, but why so much anger? Why are so many people lashing out at one another and at those in positions of authority? I think it’s much more than being asked to wear a little piece of fabric over their mouth and nose or the thought of having to have an injection.

There are many different emotions that might result in anger, but anxiety, sadness, fear, frustration, disappointment, and worry are some of the most common triggers and who amongst us hasn’t experienced some of those feelings in recent months? Add to that the fact that we feel like we’ve lost control of our lives. Things that we’ve always taken for granted, like spending time with family, have been taken away. For many, the things that they’ve trusted in, things that have given them a sense of security, have also been swept away. Some have lost jobs, others have had to close businesses. Some are still working, but feeling isolated at home. In addition to all of this, with the incredible amount of false information and fear mongering being spread by irresponsible “news” sources and keyboard warriors, it should be no surprise that undiscerning people are being sucked into the swirling maelstrom of fear and anger that surrounds us. The virus is everywhere. There isn’t even anywhere we can go to escape!

Unfortunately, anger is one of the most divisive and destructive forces on the planet. It’s a poison that spreads with astonishing speed; faster perhaps than Covid itself. It turns crowds into mobs, inflicts deep wounds, and crushes the human spirit. Plus, it does absolutely nothing to alleviate the crisis that we all find ourselves in.

Anger itself isn’t the problem; it’s what you do with it. First of all, let’s look at what NOT to do.

Don’t be a spreader! Don’t spread the virus, don’t spread misinformation, and don’t spread anger.

Don’t spread the virus. Whether or not you fully agree with the measures that have been recommended or mandated in your area, suck it up and cooperate. Wear the mask, stay 6 feet (2 metres) from other people, and whenever possible, stay home. We’re all in this together. The sooner we really start working together to limit its spread, the sooner we’ll have any hope of reclaiming some of the things that we’ve lost. 

Don’t spread false information. The internet is awash with misinformation, much of it deliberately intended to mislead and to stir up fear and anger. Don’t add to the noise! Check your facts before passing something on. Chances are that your neighbour down the street or your friend from high school doesn’t know as much about epidemiology as the experts do. The lack of respect and support for doctors, scientists, and other health professionals during this pandemic is nothing short of astonishing. There is plenty of evidence to show that masks do make a difference and no, they aren’t harmful to your health. There are very, very few people who have legitimate reasons for not being able to wear one and those people should be staying home because they clearly have other issues that put them at high risk. Yes, the vaccines have been fast tracked, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re dangerous. They’ve been through the same rigorous testing as any other vaccines, but because of the urgency of the present situation, they weren’t allowed to bog down in bureaucratic red tape the way things usually do.  

Don’t spread your anger. Denying that you’re angry or keeping it bottled up inside isn’t healthy, but taking it out on an unsuspecting cashier who’s simply attempting to do her job in trying circumstances doesn’t make the situation better. Neither does waving a protest sign or ranting on social media. 

So what CAN we do with our anger? What SHOULD we do? 

  • Think before you speak, post or repost.
  • Find constructive ways to express your concerns clearly and directly to the right people without trying to hurt or control anyone. This might include asking questions in an attempt to seek out the truth and understand the reasons behind measures that are being recommended or mandated.
  • Take a break. That might mean taking a self-imposed time out from social media or getting outside for some fresh air and exercise.  
  • Practice relaxation. Listen to music, write in a journal, do a few yoga poses or some deep breathing exercises… whatever works for you.
  • Pray. Pray for wisdom, understanding, and grace. Pray for those in positions of authority who are daily faced with making incredibly difficult decisions. 
  • Do something positive for someone else. Instead of writing that Facebook rant, why not write a note of encouragement to someone? Instead of attending a protest rally, look for an opportunity to volunteer in your community. 
  • Know when to seek help. If your anger feels out of control, reach out to a mental health professional. 

I’m as eager as the next person to see this pandemic come to an end, but I’m equally anxious to see us pull together and rise above the overwhelming flood of anger that threatens to crush us all. 

The psychology of fashion

/ edebock / 8 Comments

LogoConsidering all that’s been going on in the world lately, I must admit that I felt a little guilty complaining about my wardrobe in last Friday’s post. After all, that’s such a first world problem. In fact, sometimes writing about fashion at all seems terribly trivial.

On the other hand, I’ve been reading about something called enclothed cognition, a term that relates to the effect that clothing has on the way a person thinks, feels, and functions. There’s nothing new about the idea that how we dress influences the way others perceive and respond to us. That’s why we dress differently for a job interview than we do for a day at the beach. Recent studies show, however, that what we wear also directly affects our behaviour, attitudes, personality, mood, confidence, and even the way we interact with others. If that’s the case, then perhaps taking an interest in what we wear isn’t as shallow and self-centred as it might seem!

An interesting question to ask yourself is not only what messages do you want your clothing to tell others about you, but also how do you want to feel when you wear them? I’m reminded of how I instinctively packed what might best be referred to as comfort clothes when I got the call that my father was dying. In this case, I was using clothes to help reduce anxiety and foster calm. If clothing actually has a therapeutic impact, maybe it really does matter that I’m not entirely satisfied with what I see hanging in my closet! After all, self care is an important aspect of mental health.

Never forget to laugh!

/ edebock / 2 Comments

Ideas for blog posts come from all sorts of places. Sometimes a word or a phrase catches my attention and suddenly, I feel a blog post coming on. Recently, my good friend, Richard M, responded to a comment from another of his friends on Facebook with an excellent bit of advice. “NEVER forget to laugh!” he wrote. That immediately sounded like a title to me!

We’ve all heard it said that laughter is the best medicine, but did you know that it’s actually good for your health? I have absolutely no medical background and I know better than to depend on Dr. Google for sound medical advice, but even trustworthy sites like the Mayo Clinic agree that laughter has many positive physical and mental benefits.

Physical benefits of laughter

  • Lowers stress by reducing the release of stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline.
  • Boosts the immune system which is negatively affected by stress hormones.
  • Promotes heart health
  • Lowers blood pressure
  • Increases oxygen intake
  • Relieves pain by releasing endorphins which act as natural pain killers.
  • Boosts energy
  • Relaxes muscles
  • Burns calories. Though it won’t replace regular exercise, 15 minutes of laughter burns 10 to 40 calories!

Mental benefits of laughter

  • Builds rapport and strengthens relationships between people
  • Eases symptoms of depression as endorphins also act as natural antidepressants.
  • Reduces anxiety and other negative emotions
  • Improves mood
  • Promotes relaxation

Clearly Richard M is right. We should never forget to laugh. Laughter adds joy and zest to life, but we live in a world that seems to be in constant turmoil. Last month it was the fires in Australia and a plane shot down; now the news is dominated by the coronavirus. Our own personal lives are often a struggle. How, in the midst of all that, do we remember to laugh?

Here are a few suggestions

  • Spend time with people who make you laugh
  • Don’t take yourself too seriously
  • Look for the humour in everyday situations
  • Watch funny movies or TV comedies
  • Make time in your life for fun activities
  • Play with a pet
  • Hang out with a little kid and find your inner child

If you really can’t find any reason to laugh, you might even want to check out laughter yoga or laughter therapy. While the idea of sitting in a group or one on one with a therapist forcing myself to laugh definitely doesn’t appeal to me, I could probably use more laughter in my life. We probably all could.

I will add one caveat, however. Never laugh at someone else’s expense. Not everything that passes as humour is funny. Make sure you know the difference.

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“The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.”   Mark Twain

What hydrates your soul?

/ edebock / 4 Comments

We all know that drinking water to stay hydrated is important to our physical health. It helps maximize physical performance, promotes cardiovascular health, has a major effect on energy levels and brain function, and may prevent or relieve digestive issues. Conversely, even low levels of dehydration can cause headaches, fatigue, dizziness, lethargy, and constipation.

But what about our souls? What hydrates or nourishes your soul? What brings you joy or a deep sense of satisfaction?

If you’re like me, you might find January a month when your soul begins to feel depleted;  malnourished. Christmas is over and New Years has come and gone. Depending where you live, winter may seem to stretch out endlessly in front of you. It’s easy to start feeling down. The solution may not be as simple as drinking a glass of water, but there are many things we can do to hydrate our souls.

Here, in no particular order, are 12 things that nourish my soul:

  • daily time in prayer and God’s Word
  • spending time with people who make me happy
  • soaking up sunlight
  • doing something unexpected for someone else
  • losing myself in a good book
  • writing
  • spending time in nature
  • traveling
  • organizing and decluttering
  • exercising
  • sipping a cup of tea or a glass of wine
  • relaxing in a hot bath

Your prescription might be entirely different than mine, but if your soul is feeling dehydrated, here are some things you might try:

  • listen to music or make music if you’re so inclined
  • visit a museum or an art gallery
  • watch a movie or a live theatre performance
  • keep a gratitude journal
  • volunteer
  • go for a massage
  • get some sleep
  • do something creative

What hydrates your soul? 

whatevers-good-for-your-soul

What to do when life seems overwhelming

/ edebock / 12 Comments

What do you do when life seems overwhelming?

Overwhelmedphoto

Recent circumstances have resulted in us leaving the church that was our strong support system for many years. We’re living in the midst of a home renovation project gone very wrong and trying to figure out how to deal with that. I’m off to the city early next week to see a specialist about a lump growing on my gums that my dentist hasn’t been able to find the cause of. We’re moving into the busiest season of the year for me in one of the volunteer positions that I hold. And to top it off, we seem to be living through the winter that will never end.

You’ve probably lived through similar seasons. Maybe you’re there right now. You may be dealing with an enormous stressor such as job loss or the death of a loved one or it might simply be an accumulation of smaller aggravations that have left you feeling completely swamped.

So what should we do when life leaves us feeling like we’ve reached the end of our rope?

If you’re a young parent, you probably feel this way a lot of the time and with very good reason! I asked my daughter what her advice would be and her reply was, “In my case the answer is don’t bite off more than you can chew!” That’s good advice for all of us. Sometimes we’re the cause of our own stressful predicaments. We simply take on more than we can handle. None of us has an infinite amount of time available, so perhaps in those cases the answer is learning to prioritize, learning better time management skills, or simply learning to say No!

But what can we do when we’re overwhelmed by circumstances that are beyond our control? I’m reminded of a dear friend who often asks, “In the light of eternity, does this really matter?” Sometimes we need to take a step back and look at the situation from a wider perspective. Yes, the new ceiling surface that was applied throughout the main floor of our house on Saturday is a superb example of shoddy workmanship and will have to be redone. We’re not sure how or when that’s going to happen. As stressful and aggravating as that is, it isn’t life threatening and years down the road, it won’t seem as big a deal as it does right now.

The lump on my gum, however, could be a big deal. When you’re a cancer patient, any inexplicable lump or bump is reason for concern, but the same wise friend once reminded me that 99% of the things we worry about never come to pass and all the worrying in the world won’t prevent the other 1%.

Whether we’re overwhelmed by the busyness of life, legitimate concerns, or distressing circumstances that are not of our own making, there are things we can do to help alleviate stress when it threatens to overcome us. What works for me, might not necessarily work for you, but here are a few suggestions to try.

  1. Focus on getting through one day or even one hour at a time. Matthew 6:34 gives this wise advice, “Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.“
  2. Don’t skip meals. When I’m severely stressed my appetite is the first to go, but our bodies need fuel. Eat regularly to avoid low blood sugar, fatigue, and brain fog.
  3. Drink a cup of tea. My automatic response to crisis situations has long been to brew a pot of tea, but now studies conducted in the UK have actually shown that drinking a single cup of tea can significantly reduce anxiety levels after suffering a stressful experience.
  4. Escape. Go for a walk or a drive in the country, lose yourself in a good book, get out of the office over your lunch hour. Do whatever it takes to get away from the stressful situation even for a short time.
  5. Exercise. According to experts at the Mayo Clinic, exercise in almost any form acts as a stress reliever, providing a distraction from worry and boosting the production of endorphins, the brain’s feel-good neurotransmitters.
  6. Pray. Prayer is an age old stress reliever that doesn’t require a prescription! Taking a few quiet moments to pray can help you gain perspective and find peace in the midst of turmoil. When the situation is so overwhelming that you can’t even find the words to pray, remember that Romans 8:26 tells us that “We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.“
  7. Soak in a hot bath. Add a few drops of lavender oil which is commonly known for its relaxing effects on the body.
  8. Sleep. It may be difficult to quiet your mind enough to get to sleep when life seems overwhelming, but getting a good night’s rest should be a priority. A cup of chamomile tea half an hour before bedtime is widely regarded as a mild tranquilizer and sleep-inducer. Lavender oil can also be helpful here. Rub 2 or 3 drops on the palms of your hands and inhale deeply then wipe your palms on your pillow to leave a hint of lavender there.
  9. Don’t try to handle everything on your own. Delegate, ask for help, share your struggles. When stress doesn’t go away, and you’ve tried your best to manage it, you may need talk to a doctor or mental health professional about it. There’s absolutely no shame in that.