Thoughts on turning 69

It seems that every woman has a birthday she dreads; an age that she has trouble accepting. For me, that age was 60. The whole time I was 59, I dreaded turning 60. It was such a big number and sounded so old, but then the day came and nothing really changed. It was just another day, another new beginning, and I’d wasted an entire year worrying about it!

Now, nine more years have passed and tomorrow I turn 69! My 60s have not been easy. They brought three different cancer diagnoses, relationship trauma, the death of both my parents, and now a worldwide pandemic, but through it all, I learned endurance, perseverance, and resilience. I also learned to live one day at a time.

Learning not to count on the future, but to see every day as a gift and a blessing, was a very valuable lesson. When I was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer shortly before my 61st birthday, I really didn’t expect that I’d still be alive today. Four years later, I threw myself a “still alive at 65” birthday party and now, just one year short of 70, I’m still here and still going strong!

One thing I know that I won’t be doing when I’m 69 is wasting time worrying about turning 70. Instead, as long as God gives me life, I’m going to be busy living it to the fullest and doing my best to accomplish whatever it is that He is keeping me here to do!

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Kintsugi… broken made beautiful

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“We have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.”   2 Corinthians 4:7

When I read this verse in my morning devotions today, my mind went in several different directions. It immediately brought to mind a couple of verses from the Old Testament book of Isaiah.

“You, Lord, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand.”   Isaiah 64:8

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Shall what is formed say to the one who formed it, ‘You did not make me’? Can the pot say to the potter, ‘You know nothing’”?   Isaiah 29:16

We are all vessels shaped by God’s hands for His purpose, not our own.

Next, my mind went to the value of a clay pot. Many are plain on the outside and made for ordinary everyday purposes. They might not look like they have much value, but from earliest times people the world over have survived in the harshest of circumstances because they had simple clay pots to carry life giving water. We ought to be like those jars carrying life to those around us.

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Finally, I was reminded of the centuries old Japanese art of kintsugi. or “golden joinery.” Life is hard and sometimes our jars of clay are chipped, cracked, or broken, but God is not only the potter; he is also the master of kintsugi!

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Kintsugi is a method of repairing broken pottery using lacquer mixed with gold, silver or platinum. Rather than trying to hide the brokenness, it becomes part of the beauty of the piece. The process often enhances the value of the item as each mended piece is completely unique.

In a similar manner, when we bring our brokenness to God, He doesn’t reject or discard us. Instead, where we see only ugliness, he sees potential and the possibility of creating something new and beautiful. He takes our broken pieces and carefully puts them back together so that even though the cracks and scars might still be visible, they become part of our beauty. Through His loving grace and mercy, he forgives our failures and heals our hurts. When His gold fills our cracks, we are made stronger and more beautiful and His power and glory are seen in us. We simply need to put our broken lives into the hands of the master of kintsugi and trust Him to put us back together!

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This is China!

On Tuesday afternoon, people bought roasted chestnuts and other snacks at the little corner kiosk but less than 24 hours later, it was nothing but a pile of rubble! No, we don’t live in a war zone and we’re a long distance away from China’s recent earthquake, but to look at the area a few blocks from here last week, one would have seriously wondered.

We first noticed that something was amiss when we left the school for a quick lunch before Tuesday afternoon’s dance class. (See Can I have this dance? posted on March 26) Along a two or three block stretch, the fronts had literally been torn off every business! Restaurants, bakeries and other businesses were continuing to serve customers while completely open to the street!

The next afternoon, we decided to walk that way again to see what was happening. That’s when we discovered that the snack shop on the corner was gone and that the new fronts on the other businesses were being constructed about a metre further back from the street than where they’d previously been. What in the world was going on? Had they encroached on city property and been forced to move off? Had a bylaw suddenly changed, requiring them to make these alterations? That kind of thing happens in China all the time, we’re told.

On our way home, we decided to circle around through some of the tiny back streets and that’s when we discovered that the destruction was much more widespread than we’d first realized. Piles of broken glass and rubble were everywhere! On one street, we came across a backhoe in the process of demolishing a small structure. The area was cordoned off with yellow ribbon and a row of uniformed policemen stood nearby. I wanted to take photos but I thought better of it. As foreigners, we’re already very conspicuous. I didn’t want to find out what kind of attention a foreigner with a camera might generate!

There are lots of things about this country that we’ll never understand and this situation is definitely one of them! Rumours have abounded this week. We’ve heard tales of an upcoming international gathering of some sort coming to Dalian soon and the city wanting to clean up and put on a good face for the world. Knowing that that’s what happened in Beijing prior to the Olympic Games being held there in 2008, I might have believed that story had I not seen the mess on the back streets. I could imagine a cavalcade of foreign visitors traversing busy Huanghe Road where we initially witnessed the changes happening but they’d have absolutely no reason to enter any of the tiny back streets.

Others have speculated that there may be gang involvement. We’re told that, through extortion, gangs exert firm control over certain territories within the city and that business owners regularly pay the gangs for "protection" ensuring that their establishments will not be disturbed by the ruling gang or by others including the authorities. Did the business owners in the affected area anger the controlling gang and lose their protection allowing the city or the police to enforce changes? I have no idea! I do know that this kind of gang activity has been documented in US cities with large Chinese populations which leads me to believe that it probably happens here too though we would never actually see it.

Today we walked through the affected area again. Though some of the businesses are still undergoing reconstruction, the rubble is mostly gone and the area cleaned up. One would hardly know that anything untoward had happened. Perhaps what surprises me most in all of this is the fact that, in the midst of everything that was happening, for most people business continued as usual. People seemed to simply accept what was happening without protest or emotion.

"This is China" is the simple explanation that most people give!