Must haves for 2022

LogoThe internet is filled with lists of fashion items that every well dressed woman “must have” in her closet. Though I have neither, most agree that we should have at least one white button up shirt and a little black dress. Today, however, for my first fashion post of the new year, I want us to look at a completely different list found in Colossians 3:12-14.

“Clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience… and over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”

Whether you work from home in your pjs, wear a uniform each day, dress to impress in a corporate boardroom, or don PPE to care for the sick and dying, you won’t go wrong if you clothe yourselves in these six items.

When the young mother in front of you holds up the line in the grocery store while she fumbles in her purse for her wallet and tries to hush her crying toddler, practice patience. Have compassion for the cashier and offer her a word of kindness when it’s finally your turn at the till. When a friend, overwhelmed by the world that we live in today, posts another negative and poorly informed tirade on Facebook, be gentle with your response. When someone at work offers constructive criticism, accept it with humility and consider whether or not they might be right. Show love by listening to another’s story and acknowledging their struggles or by doing something unexpected for someone else without expecting anything in return.

Even if your smile is hidden behind a mask, your beauty will shine through for all to see when you clothe yourself in compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, and love.

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Choosing a leader

I appreciate the many responses to my last post and particularly those who chose to share it on social media. It appears that I managed to put into words what many people have been feeling. The following post may also be considered a bit controversial and I hope it will be as well received.

I don’t consider myself to be a particularly political person, but with a federal election less than three weeks away here in Canada, I definitely take an interest and occasionally express an opinion on Facebook. In recent weeks, though I managed to avoid saying anything at all about the blackface incidents, I’ve been criticized more than once for posts alluding to what I consider to be flaws in our present Prime Minister’s character. Some people have referred to this as mudslinging or political bashing. “Let’s just focus on the issues,” they say. 

While I agree that it’s important to know what each party and its leader stand for, I don’t put a great deal of faith in campaign promises. Their purpose is to garner votes and at best I think we ought to call them proposals. A recent analysis of 353 pre-election promises made by the Liberals in 2015 indicates that by March of this year Trudeau’s government had entirely followed through on only about 50 per cent of its pledges.

We may not agree on all the issues or the directions that we’d like our leaders to take, but I hope that we can agree that it’s of utmost importance to have a man or woman of character at the helm. Unfortunately, as we look around the world at the corruption and scandals involving many of our political leaders, it would seem to me that voters haven’t been giving character enough consideration.

I like what American author, John C Maxwell, says about leadership, “A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way.”

With all this in mind, I googled “qualities of a good leader” and discovered dozens of lists. At the top of many of them was honesty and integrity and I would certainly put these two traits at the top of my list. Although they are very closely linked, there’s actually a distinction between the two. According to the dictionary, honesty means “truthfulness, sincerity, or frankness; freedom from deceit or fraud” while integrity is “adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character.” Sadly, I think that there are a number of world leaders, including our own, who fail to measure up in the areas of truthfulness and moral character.

Another quality of a good leader that was high on many lists was good communicator. Though a few listed good listening skills separately, I would include that as part of being a good communicator. I would love to have a national leader who was capable of speaking publicly without scattering “um” and “uh” liberally (pun intended) throughout every speech, but even more important would be one who truly listened to the voices and hearts of the people.

Confidence and humility were also high on most lists. Unfortunately, far too often, confidence and arrogance seem to go hand in hand instead. That certainly seems to be the case with our present national leader as well as the one to the south.

Though there are many other character traits that make a good leader, the last one that I’ll mention here is accountability, the willingness to accept responsibility for or account for one’s actions. Oh my, wouldn’t it be nice to see that in our next political leader!

So, fellow Canadians, on October 21 get out and vote, but please look beyond the issues and the campaign promises to the character of the individual party leaders as well as the candidates running in your local constituencies.

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Image: Chatelaine magazine

 

One word for 2019

After choosing one word to guide me each of the past two years, I’ve been thinking hard for awhile now about what word to choose for 2019. My word for 2017 was Still and for 2018 I chose Grace. I was absolutely amazed over the past year at how often and in how many different contexts the word grace cropped up. It was even chosen as part of the name of an new online ministry to hurting women that I’m involved in, Renewal By Grace!

As a lover of words, choosing one word for each year is a perfect exercise for me. There’s even a whole #OneWord365 movement on the internet urging members to choose just one word to focus on every day, all year long; a word that sums up who they want to be or how they want to live.

After considering and rejecting numerous possibilities for the coming year, I finally settled on Inspire.

It took awhile for me to accept that inspire was an appropriate choice. At first I wondered if it was arrogant to want to be an inspiration to other people. After all, one of the characteristics of a woman of grace is humility. Would choosing inspire as my word for 2019 be the opposite of that?

In addition to choosing a word each year, I select a scripture verse to go along with it. When I searched for a Bible verse about inspiring others, I found many about being an encourager. Encourage is, after all, a synonym for inspire. That convinced me that the word I’d chosen was, in fact, an acceptable one. The scripture passage that I chose is very simple. The first part of 1 Thessalonians 5:11 says, “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up.” It’s not a stretch to imagine that saying “Therefore inspire one another…”

Once I settled on my word, I began to think about why I’d chosen it. Why do I want to be an inspiration and to whom? Perhaps it’s the teacher in me. After all, much of what a teacher does is to try to inspire his or her students to learn, to grow, to become all that they can be. Perhaps it’s also the desire to live a life of significance even in retirement.

before I expire

As I think about being an inspiration to others, I’m reminded of the verses in Titus 3 that urge older women to be an example to younger women and to teach them the ways of godliness. My life is full of younger women… daughters, friends, students past and present, even some I’ve never met but who read my blog regularly. I am often inspired by them. Perhaps I can also be an inspiration to them this coming year through the words I say, the things I write, and the way I live my life.

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Have you ever thought of choosing one word to guide you through a new year? Can I inspire you to give it a try? Happy New Year!

Sometimes it’s hard to be humble

One of the characteristics of grace listed in yesterday’s post was “acts with humility, not pride.” As I pondered my One Word for 2018 and asked myself how I’m doing at becoming a woman of grace, I was also challenged to examine myself and wonder how I measure up in the area of humility.

The Bible has plenty to say about being humble. The book of Proverbs contains many warnings for those who refuse to put others before themselves and both the Old and New Testaments tell of blessings for those who do. Colossians 3:12 has become my life guide. “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.

There’s an old country and western song that says, “Oh Lord it’s hard to be humble when you’re perfect in every way!” I’ve also heard it said that if you think you’re humble, you probably aren’t. So how can we know if we’re humble or not?

After much reading and pondering, I came up with the following 20 characteristics of a humble person. I’m sure it’s not exhaustive, but I think it’s a reasonably good checklist.

A humble person…

  1. is not boastful
  2. is able to set aside personal preferences for the sake of others
  3. treats others with respect
  4. is not easily offended
  5. is grateful for what they have
  6. is able to rejoice with others
  7. is not wise in their own eyes
  8. is teachable
  9. is able to seek advice or ask for help
  10. willingly serves other people without drawing attention to themselves
  11. accepts their own limitations
  12. accepts correction without becoming defensive
  13. takes responsibility for their actions and apologizes when wrong
  14. is merciful, forgiving quickly and not holding grudges
  15. doesn’t get frustrated with the weaknesses of others
  16. is self-controlled
  17. listens to others and doesn’t feel the need to speak their mind in every situation
  18. is comfortable allowing others to have centre stage
  19. doesn’t always have to be right
  20. doesn’t insist on their own way

In a “me first” world, it isn’t always easy to be humble and there are many misconceptions about what it means. In the same way that being gracious is not the same as being wishy-washy or weak-kneed, humility is not a sign of weakness. Being humble is not belittling or undervaluing oneself, nor is it an indication of poor self-esteem. Like grace, humility is actually a strength.

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