Health

More than an adventure!

/ edebock / 5 Comments

In spite of the fact that we had to have complete medical check-ups before we could apply for our Chinese working visas, we had to repeat the process this week. The visas got us into the country but now that we’re here, we have to apply for resident’s permits. That requires another medical.

I wasn’t too concerned. After all, we’d just been declared healthy. This would just be another adventure and an opportunity to see an aspect of Chinese life that we might not otherwise see. Little did I know!

Early Wednesday morning we met Teresa (one of the school’s delightful Chinese employees) who had arranged for the school driver to take the three of us to the health centre. I didn’t have any classes that morning and another teacher would cover Richard’s. The health centre was a spacious and modern looking facility with the specific purpose of providing health checks and documents to foreigners as well as locals applying to go overseas. It ran very efficiently. We went from cubicle to cubicle giving urine at the first one, blood at the second one, having a chest x-ray done at the third, and so on. The only test that didn’t duplicate what had been done in Canada before our departure was an ultrasound and that’s when the excitement began!

The technician had hardly started moving the wand over my abdomen when she erupted in a flow of rapid questions and comments directed at Teresa who did her best to translate for me. Did I know that I had growths on my liver? Why hadn’t this been detected in Canada?

Needless to say, I was shocked! What in the world was going on and what would it mean? Of course, the worst case scenarios are the ones that immediately come to mind. Would we be on the next plane back to Canada? Did I have cancer?

Apparently there were two spots. One was immediately declared non-threatening but the other one was considered suspicious. Pictures were printed and we were told that I would have to go to the hospital for a CT scan. Only then would we know whether or not I could remain in the country. The final procedure before we left the facility was a blood pressure test. I can only imagine that mine was sky high at that moment but nothing was said!

The drive back to the school was a blur as I sat in the back seat and contemplated the future. Ridiculous thoughts bounced around in my mind. Surely I hadn’t come all the way to China only to leave again without even seeing the Great Wall!

Over the next day and a half, I ended up making not one but three trips to the main university hospital in downtown Dalian! Thank goodness, Teresa was with me every moment of the way. She is very young and had never dealt with anything like this before but she was both efficient and reassuring. After coming home for lunch on Wednesday, I again met her at the school and we set off for the hospital by bus. On the way out of the apartment, the magnetic cross on the fridge beside the door caught my eye. Given to us as a gift just before we left for Japan in 2008, it reads "Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10" That verse became my mantra over the next couple of days and gave me great peace.

At the hospital, we sat in an overcrowded and noisy waiting room for about an hour until my name was called. We saw a lady doctor who looked at the ultrasound photos and immediately concurred with the initial conclusion. One spot was nothing to worry about but the other one would require a closer look. She also explained that a regular CT scan wouldn’t show anything more than the ultrasound had. I would need to be injected with something before the scan was done.

Both Teresa and the doctor, who spoke no English, were worried about whether or not Teresa’s ability to translate all of this was adequate. Since they wanted to ensure that I understood what was being suggested, we were sent to see a younger doctor who spoke reasonably good English. We were able to get in to see him almost immediately and he repeated exactly what Teresa had already told me. He also told us that Richard would have to return to the hospital with us to give written permission for me to have the procedure done! We have since learned that this is common practice here. Regardless of gender or age, no one can have a medical procedure done without the signed permission of a family member. Teresa and our other Chinese colleagues were very surprised to learn that in Canada I would be able to sign my own consent!

Early Thursday morning, the driver took us back to the hospital. We met briefly with the same English speaking doctor, signed the consent forms, purchased the medication that I would be injected with and made arrangements to have the procedure done at 2:30 that afternoon! Again, Richard would have to be there with me. We discovered that one of the reasons that the hospital was so terribly crowded was that everyone, inpatient or outpatient, had to have at least one family member there to help take care of them. We even saw one elderly man, obviously too weak to walk, being carried down the corridor on the back of a younger man, presumably his son.

After returning to school to teach our morning classes we went back to the hospital for the scan, this time by taxi. When it was done, Teresa was given a form to bring back the following afternoon at which time she would be able to pick up the results. No privacy of information rules here to slow things down!

Yesterday dawned bright and clear. I didn’t have a class until 4 o’clock in the afternoon but I planned to go a few minutes early to find out the test results. As I did my morning devotions, I came across Romans 15:13, "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." As I read that, I was filled with peace. I knew that regardless of what the scan showed, I was in his hands and I would be okay.

Fortunately, the news was good! The spot is one of two things and neither one is threatening. Teresa didn’t know the medical terms in English and to tell you the truth, I don’t really care what they are. They probably wouldn’t mean much to me anyway. All I needed to hear was that I had nothing to worry about!

Teresa will take the results of the CT scan back to the health facility on Monday and fully expects that the necessary documents will be issued so that we can apply for our resident’s permits.

An adventure? Yes, but much more than I bargained for! One thing we’re totally amazed by though is the speed at which all this took place. The process from ultrasound to final diagnosis, which would have taken weeks or months in Canada, took about 55 hours!

Tangled knots of tension

/ edebock / 2 Comments

This has been an eventful week.

On Monday, I learned that my Dad had finally made the decision to seek permanent care for my Mom. She’s 90 years old and suffers from Alzheimer’s disease. In addition, she’s virtually blind, incontinent and confined to a wheelchair. Dad has been burning himself out trying to be her primary caregiver and most of the time she doesn’t even know who he is.

I was relieved! I would be able to leave the country knowing that Mom was being well cared for and that Dad could finally relax and possibly regain his flagging health and strength. Then came Wednesday and a phone call from my sister. Dad was suffering from chest pains and she was catching a plane that afternoon to fly out to Vancouver to be with them!

I was already feeling stressed over the delay in getting our visas. This news was almost more than I could handle! Questions and doubts flooded my mind. What was I thinking of? Was going to China at this point sheer insanity? We’d already signed our contracts! What choice did I have now?

I don’t handle stress well. Apparently, neither does my father! His chest pains were not an indication of an impending heart attack as we feared but, as far as we can tell, the result of stressing about the decision he’d made and all its implications. He had lain awake for long hours Tuesday night worrying about where Mom would end up, how he’d get her there, what he should pack for her, whether or not she’d adjust well to her new surroundings and so on and so on until the pain began.

We knew that initially, at least, Mom would go into the first appropriate long term care bed in their area. We prayed that it would be easily accessible by bus so that Dad, who no longer drives due to failing eyesight, could visit her regularly. God did even better than that! Tomorrow morning she’s moving into a care facility just down the street from the apartment building where my parents have lived for over 20 years! It’s literally about 500 metres away, close enough for Dad to walk over anytime he wants!

After more than 64 years of marriage, tonight will be the last night that my parents will spend together. It’s sad, but Alzheimer’s is sadder. In a sense, Mom has already been gone for quite a long time. I’m just glad that Dad will still be able to spend time with her each day and that my sister is there to help them with the transition.

Now, if only the results of our blood tests come back soon so that we can head to Calgary to apply for our visas. Then maybe the knots in my stomach will begin to untangle!

Our mountain is moving!

/ edebock / 10 Comments

If you read yesterday’s post, you know that we were thrown into a sudden panic when we learned that we can’t apply for our work visas until we can present physical examination records with the myriad of other forms and documents that are required. It often takes three weeks or more to get in to see our family doctor and we’re supposed to leave for China a month from tomorrow! What were we going to do?

The problem seemed insurmountable but nothing is impossible with God! (Luke 1:37) After temporarily freaking out, I calmed down and realized that if God wants us in China nothing will stop us from getting there.

We don’t climb our mountains alone. Within hours, people around the world, including a blogging friend I’ve never met, were praying for us and the mountain began to move.

Last night I learned that there’s a new doctor in the area. So new, in fact, that his clinic isn’t even ready for use yet and he’s only seeing walk ins at the hospital outpatients department. We spent two hours there this morning. Dr. O was efficient and personable; definitely a positive addition to our medical community. By lunch time, all of the required procedures had been done. We’d undergone everything from eye examinations to chest x-rays and ECGs and blood had been taken. My blood pressure was a little high but that came as no surprise after the stress of the past 24 hours!

The only hitch now is that the results of the required AIDS test usually take about two weeks to come back. As long as they don’t take any longer than that, we’ll still have enough time to make our trip to Calgary to get our visas but I’m praying that they come back sooner. After all, our God can move mountains!

Mount Robson                      photo: Nate DeBock

Lord, move this mountain!

/ edebock / 9 Comments

Yesterday the paperwork that we’d been waiting for arrived; the invitation letter and working permit that would allow us to go to China to teach. Today we filled out our visa application forms and the supplementary forms required for a Z (working) visa. I gathered together the mountain of paperwork that we’d need then decided that I should phone the Visa Application Service Center in Calgary to make sure that we had everything we needed before we made the four hour trip to Calgary on Monday. Thank goodness I did!

When you phone the service center, you get a recording telling you that all the information you need is on their website. I knew that but I’m anal. I wanted to talk to a real person just to be sure. After pressing one for English then listening to a lengthy menu, I finally pressed 0 and was connected to Peter. That’s when I learned that the website is actually out of date!

According to the website, which I first checked several weeks ago, people who are going to China to work for less than 6 months do not need to present a physical examination record with their visa application. Wrong! Peter told me that that requirement changed a couple of months ago and yes, we would need to present completed medical forms!

Yikes! We live in rural Alberta where there’s a doctor shortage. It can take weeks just to get an appointment! We’re supposed to have a complete check-up, a chest x-ray, an ECG and even an AIDS test, for goodness sake!

Panic immediately set in. I’m sure my blood pressure went through the roof! How in the world are we supposed to climb this mountain in the limited amount of time we have to get our visas?

That’s when Matthew 17:20 came to mind. “I assure you, even if you had faith as small as a mustard seed you could say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it would move. Nothing would be impossible.”

For a moment, my eye was only on the mountain; the problem. When we focus on the problem, everything else including God seems small but when we focus on God, the problem seems small. Right now, I’m trying very hard to focus on God and not to worry. As our friend Ilef likes to say, I’m waiting to see how God’s going to get us out of this mess. I believe that if God wants us in China, we’ll be on the plane with visas in hand!

Lord, move this mountain, I pray! 

IMG_0301

It’s a weird and wonderful life!

/ edebock / 1 Comment

It occurred to me today that I live a weird life; or perhaps I’m just a weird person!

I’m a 60 year old woman preparing to go to China to teach English. In between weight lifting sets this afternoon, I’ve been working on editing a master’s thesis for someone in Japan and taking apart a dress for my son! Yup, definitely weird!

I started weight lifting 18 years ago before it became a popular activity for women. According to Wikipedia, nearly 20% of American women now lift weights on a regular basis but I doubt that many of them are in their sixties and most of them probably weren’t total non athletes like I was in my younger days.

I like what Adam Campbell, fitness director of Women’s Health and author of The Women’s Health Big Book of Exercises says:

But do I look like I lift weights? Absolutely. I’m lean and fit, and my muscles are well-defined, even if they’re not busting out of my shirt. 

You see, lifting weights isn’t just about building 20-inch biceps. In fact, for most women, it’s not about that at all, since resistance training may be the single most effective way to lose fat and look great in a swimsuit. What’s more, the benefits of lifting extend into nearly every aspect of your health and well-being. So much so that after nearly 12 years of reporting in the field of health and fitness, I’ve come to one rock-solid conclusion: You’d have to be crazy not to lift weights—even if bigger biceps are the last thing you want. 

The truth is, lifting weights gives every woman an edge. Over belly fat. Over stress. Over heart disease, diabetes, and cancer. Lifting even makes you smarter and happier. 

To read more, including his 20 reasons why you shouldn’t live another day without lifting, click here.

If you’ve been reading my blog for very long, you know that I also love writing and keeping my mind active. That’s why when my friend, Smoky, asked if I would be willing to edit his thesis on factors that affect Japanese junior high school students’ motivation to learn English, I jumped at the opportunity.

Smoky's family

Besides, is it any wonder that he doesn’t have as much time as he’d like to polish his own writing? Those darling children are three of our “Japanese grandchildren” and I’d way rather he spent his time loving them!

dressNow, what about the dress? As I mentioned in an earlier post, on February 9th Nate will be skiing the 31 km Canadian Birkebeiner in an African schoolgirl dress to raise funds so that little girls in Sierra Leone can go to school. He’s already raised enough to provide a full year of schooling for one girl and is hoping that money will continue to come in.

The dress is snug on his 6 foot 3 inch frame. He needs more room for a warm layer underneath and to ensure that his arms can move freely when he skis. I’ve opened the seams down both sides and am adding panels of stretchy sportswear fabric to provide the space and mobility that he needs.

Yes, my life might be weird but it’s also rich and full and I wouldn’t have it any other way!

An added blessing

/ edebock / 6 Comments

I spent most of this morning in a dentist’s chair with my mouth wide open. In addition to having a broken tooth prepared for a crown and a temporary crown inserted, I had my annual cleaning and check-up. Little did I know that I might also be helping delay the onset of Alzheimer’s disease!

As I mentioned in an earlier post, though there isn’t enough scientific evidence to prove that a healthy lifestyle can prevent Alzheimer’s disease, studies have shown that regular exercise, a healthy diet, managing stress, getting quality sleep, staying socially active and engaging in mentally stimulating activities may help prevent or delay symptoms. Now it looks like good dental hygiene should be added to that list.

When I got home from the dentist and sat down to read the morning news the headline “Dental health linked to dementia risk” caught my eye. I was already aware of the connection between gum disease and heart disease, but dementia? As is so often the case, upon reading the article I discovered that the headline slightly overstates the case.

Apparently researchers in California who followed approximately 5500 seniors over an 18 year period found that women who reported brushing their teeth less than once a day were up to 65% more likely to develop dementia than those who brushed daily. The effect appeared to be less pronounced amongst men but men who had lost all or most of their own teeth and who did not wear dentures had almost twice the incidence of dementia as their counterparts. Other studies have found that people with Alzheimer’s disease, the most common form of dementia, have more gum disease-related bacteria in their brains than people without Alzheimer’s.

This morning’s article went on to say, however, that these studies do not prove that poor dental health results in dementia or that brushing your teeth regularly will prevent you from getting Alzheimer’s disease. Clearly much more research needs to be done before a link between dental health and the risk of dementia can be proven. For example, could the evidence simply be showing that people in the very early stages of dementia often fail to practice good dental hygiene?

Either way, I was happy to hear my dentist say that, other than the broken tooth, my teeth and gums are in excellent condition. If keeping them that way has any chance of protecting me against my mother’s fate, that’s definitely an added blessing!

Awakening memories

/ edebock / 4 Comments

Ever since we began our journey through Alzheimer’s disease with my mom, memory and how it works has been of greater interest to me than ever before. There are certain triggers that I know will awaken some of my earliest memories. The smell of Ivory soap always takes me back to my grandmother’s bathroom. Though almost 50 years have passed, I remember it in amazing detail… the old clawfoot tub, the washboard, the bare wooden walls, the violets growing in pots on the windowsill, the old-fashioned curling irons hanging on the back of the door.

Other times I’m completely amazed by something that suddenly comes to the surface of my memory. That’s what happened yesterday in the middle of a funeral! Knowing that she was dying, the lady who’s funeral I was attending had written down some of her own memories and they were shared during the service. She mentioned attending CGIT as a teenager. I, too, was a Canadian Girl in Training but I hadn’t thought about that in years. Instantly the entire CGIT purpose, recited at every weekly meeting for the five years that I participated in the non-denominational program for 12 to 17 year old girls, came back to me. Obviously it was firmly cemented in the deepest recesses of my memory.

As a Canadian Girl in Training
Under the leadership of Jesus
It is my purpose to
Cherish Health
Seek Truth
Know God
Serve Others
And thus, with His help,
Become the girl God would have me be.

I could hardly believe that it was still there in it’s entirety. Though my CGIT pin is still in the bottom of my jewelry box, I attended my last meeting in 1969! This really makes me wonder what else is still hidden deep within my mind and what it would take to access all of it.

Remembering the CGIT purpose has also caused me to do a bit of self evaluation today. Looking back at what I recited so faithfully all those years ago, how have I done? Did I go on to cherish health, seek truth, know God and serve others? I think I can answer with a resounding yes! Those four goals could still be my mission statement today. Does that mean that I’ve become the girl God would have me be? I’d like to think so but I know that I’m still a work in progress!

Who makes the rules?

/ edebock / 9 Comments

Apparently when women reach the advanced age of 40 we must lose the ability to think rationally. The internet is full of lists of rules to help us avoid making complete fools of ourselves.

A good example is the list of “10 things a woman over 40 shouldn’t wear” that’s plastered all over the net. What things, you ask?

  • black leather pants or jackets
  • jackets that are mid-thigh length
  • pleated pants
  • fluorescent colours
  • capri pants
  • low rise jeans
  • plunging V necklines
  • mini skirts
  • bikinis
  • sleeveless clothes of any kind

Says who? And what was I supposed to wear on the zip line; a frumpy housedress? Oh right, zip lining is probably on someone’s list of things a woman my age shouldn’t do!

According to a slightly different list horizontal stripes and double breasted blazers are also out. Still others will tell you that women over 40 shouldn’t wear long hair and there are even those who say that jeans are out for those of us who’ve passed our 40th birthday! I guess I’m just a rule breaker! After all, I’m wearing horizontal stripes as I write this and I practically live in jeans all winter long! The right pair of jeans can be very flattering and they can be dressed up or down depending on the occasion. Why, I’ll probably be buried in my blue jeans! I’m just that kind of girl.

As far as I’m concerned, as long as something is comfortable, fits well, makes you feel confident and isn’t beyond the bounds of decency, I say wear it with pride regardless of what age you are! There are 20 somethings who look ghastly in mini skirts and older women who look downright classy in low rise jeans and black leather.

A much more useful list is More magazine’s “8 warning signs women over 40 shouldn’t ignore” which includes

  • flu-like feelings including fatigue, nausea, sweating and chills
  • not feeling rested regardless of how much sleep you get
  • pain and swelling in your calf
  • a new mole
  • trouble finding the right words
  • bloating and pelvic pain
  • burning, tingling or numbness in your feet
  • a persistent cough

After all, regardless of how we dress them up, our bodies are wearing out and if we want them to continue looking good into our 60s, 70s and 80s we need to take good care of them.

p.s. Thank you to Jeannie at gracefully50 for inspiring this post. If you enjoyed it, you might want to check out her post Am I wrong?

What am I doing in the basement?

/ edebock / 7 Comments

According to a recent article in The Globe and Mail, one in eleven people over the age of 65 suffers from Alzheimer’s disease. The likelihood of developing the disease doubles about every five years after age 65 says the Alzheimer’s Association website. After age 85, the risk reaches nearly 50 percent. A family history of Alzheimer’s increases one’s risk of developing the disease even further.

I don’t make New Year’s resolutions but given the fact that I’ve been watching this disease gradually rob my mother of her memory and her mind, I’ve definitely been giving a lot of thought to what I can do to lead a brain-healthy lifestyle and to reduce my risk of suffering the same fate.

The Secret Life of the Grown-Up Brain by Barbara Strauch was a reassuring read. Impeccably researched and easy to read, the book explores the latest findings that demonstrate that the middle-aged brain like mine is actually more flexible and more capable than previously thought. Apparently standing in the basement wondering what I came down to get or failing to remember a name that I know I should know are not signs that I’m losing it after all!

Though there isn’t enough scientific evidence to prove that a healthy lifestyle can prevent Alzheimer’s, studies have shown that regular exercise, a healthy diet, managing stress, getting quality sleep, staying socially active and engaging in mentally stimulating activities may help prevent or delay symptoms. So how am I doing? The beginning of a new year seems like a good time for a bit of self examination and perhaps some goal setting.

I’d definitely give myself high marks for exercise and diet. I was working hard at maintaining physical fitness and healthy eating long before I began to think about what effect they might have on my brain. Fortunately what’s good for my heart and the rest of my body is also good for my brain. The Christmas season sabotaged my efforts in both these areas but now that I’m back home and into routine again, I’ll soon be back on track and yes, Santa did come… I met my goal of being able to do ten push ups by Christmas morning! Hopefully I’ll soon be doing even more.

Stress management and quality sleep go hand in hand for me. As long as I’m not feeling anxious about anything, I usually sleep well and when I’m well rested I handle stress better. I assume that that’s probably true for most people. Retirement has, of course, been a wonderful stress reducer! I still have crazy school dreams once in a blue moon but not like I used to. For reasons that neither my doctor nor I have been able to figure out, I’ll lay awake for hours if I eat anything sweet after about 8:30 p.m. so I’ve learned not to do that. I also sleep better in the winter time when we have longer hours of darkness. That’s one definite goal for this year; darker blinds for the bedroom before spring arrives. I plan to buy ones to match the newly painted feature wall.

Being away as much as Richard and I are, staying socially active and connected is something we need to consciously work on when we’re at home. While we wander the world, everyone else’s life goes on and if we want to be included we need to keep our connections strong. For that reason, entertaining more is another one of my goals for the coming year. I see the effects of failing to stay socially active in my mother’s life. After Dad retired, they settled into a high rise apartment in Vancouver where Mom didn’t make the effort to get out and develop new relationships. Once a very social person, she gradually became more and more reclusive. Now that she’s truly housebound, she has no friends to come and visit.

I don’t know how much failing to stay mentally active had to do with Mom’s eventual decline but I’m determined not to let that happen to me. I’m a firm believer in the importance of lifelong learning. I’m an avid reader and also a member of Lumosity, a website that offers of a series of engaging brain games and exercises each designed to improve a particular area of cognition; speed, memory, attention, flexibility or problem solving. In addition to playing individual games, participants can enrol in guided brain fitness courses that are designed to improve each of the five areas. Brain training has become as much a part of my daily life as eating and sleeping. Since Christmas, I’ve also been working on logic puzzles. Thank you to the Santa who put a whole book of them in my stocking!

So am I worrying about the possibility of succumbing to Alzheimer’s disease? Not really. When I stand in the basement trying to remember why I’m there, I’ll simply remind myself that that’s normal forgetfulness and that I’m doing everything I can to prevent something much worse.



Alzheimer’s is robbing me of my mother

/ edebock / 16 Comments

I originally started this blog to chronicle our travels when we moved to Japan to teach English for a year. For the past several years, our family has also been on a journey of a very different kind as we’ve watched my mother gradually spiral downward and disappear into the depths of Alzheimer’s disease but I haven’t felt at liberty to blog about it until now. Until recently, my father, who is a very private person and also Mom’s primary caregiver, has been one of my most faithful readers. Out of respect for him, I didn’t share our journey publicly but now that his very old computer has died and he’s discontinued his internet service, I feel free to write about it.

I still remember the summer visit several years ago when I first had an inkling that something was wrong. I mentioned one of Mom’s grandchildren and she had no idea who I was talking about. Her question, “Who’s Jessica?” was for me one of those life changing moments when my entire world seemed to shift on its axis. I lay awake at night wondering what the future would hold and experiencing for the first time a deep sense of anxiety that has become more and more familiar to me.

Over the ensuing years, the mother that I grew up with has disappeared and parent has gradually become child. It has been a fairly slow decline. Many times, Mom would seem to slip very noticeably and then plateau for a time giving us a chance to get used to the changes before more drastic ones surfaced. Unfortunately, Dad seemed to be in denial for the longest time making it impossible for us to discuss the situation with him or to be of much help. It’s only in the last year that Mom’s condition has been clearly identified as Alzheimer’s disease and that we’ve been able to talk about it openly. The situation is made worse by the fact that my sister, my younger brother and I live in Alberta while Mom and Dad are here in Vancouver. Only our older brother, mentally handicapped and himself living in care, and our oldest son Matthew are here at the coast. We really can’t saddle Matthew, in his second year of a law career, renovating a house and parenting two very young children with the responsibility of watching out for his elderly grandparents. He and Robin visit as often as they can and do their best to keep us informed of any changes or problems that they notice.

The blessing in all of this, if there is such a thing, is the fact that Mom’s decline didn’t begin until she was over 80. Dad retired at 59 and they spent the next two decades following their dreams and travelling the world. They visited over 60 countries spending more than a year in Europe and 9 months in Australia. (I come by my gypsy blood honestly!) They took their last big trip 8 years ago when they flew to the Dominican Republic to celebrate their 55th wedding anniversary.

For the past few years, it’s been a chore to get Mom to leave their apartment. Now, at 89 years old, she is incontinent, legally blind and confined to a wheelchair. Though these infirmities are fairly recent developments, in Mom’s mind she’s suffered from them for most of her life and she’s constantly coming up with fanciful explanations that are in no way grounded in reality. Last night she told us that people are trying to poison her with peanut butter which has always been a favourite of hers! Sometimes all we can do is laugh. It’s either that or cry. She’s clearly in the sixth of the seven clinical stages of Alzheimer’s and needs constant care and supervision.

After 63 years of marriage, Dad refuses to allow them to be separated and insists on caring for her himself. He’s clearly wearing out and we don’t know how much longer he’ll be able to keep this up but he’s of sound mind and has the right to live life the way he chooses. There are those who suggest that we, as a family, should try to force him to put Mom into care but we are firm believers in the fifth commandment and we know of no other way to honour our parents than to allow them to live out their final years the way they want to while being as supportive as we can given our own circumstances.

This, of course, means more frequent visits. This is our third trip to Vancouver this year and each of my siblings has also been here. When we’re here, we thoroughly clean the apartment, a job that Dad has a hard time keeping up with these days, and try to provide opportunities for him to get out and have a break. This week, he even went on a forest adventure with great grandson, Sam!

Having Matt, Robin, Sam and little Nate here in Vancouver is indeed a blessing at this time in our lives. Visits to Vancouver would be much more difficult if we didn’t have them to stay with some of the time and, of course, grandchildren provide such wonderful stress relief!

Mom with her youngest great grandchild, Nate, in March 2011