No ordinary weekend

April 6, 2015April 6, 2015 / edebock / 10 Comments

This weekend Christians around the world celebrated the death and resurrection of our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, who came that we might have life, and that we might have it more abundantly. (John 10:10) It was definitely no ordinary weekend, but for our family, it was also no ordinary Easter.

Thirty years ago, a heartbroken young grandmother placed her first grandchild in my arms and walked away not knowing if she’d ever see him again. On Saturday evening, she sat across the table from me at his wedding reception. Her daughter, Nate’s birth mom, was at the next table. This was definitely no ordinary weekend!

Nathan was just three days old when he joined our family but there was already an unmistakable twinkle of mischief in his eyes and he has found his soulmate in Colleen, a beautiful and godly young lady with a mischievous twinkle to match his own! The wedding ceremony and the reception, complete with an inflatable bouncy castle in the corner of the hall to keep the youngest guests entertained, were a perfect reflection of the fun-loving and quirky but also very classy personalities of the bride and groom.

My weekend began with a moment of panic on Friday morning when I woke to discover that the five pound block of ground beef in our hotel room’s mini fridge was still frozen solid! I had a rehearsal dinner to prepare for approximately two dozen people and only a couple of hours until I needed to begin putting it together. Where there’s a will, there’s a way they say, so tying the meat into a plastic hotel laundry bag and dropping it into a bathtub of warm water, off I went to breakfast! The novel defrosting method worked wonders and by early afternoon I had three slow cookers filled with lasagna. (No, I didn’t prepare the meal in the hotel room! We transported the meat, along with all the other ingredients, to one of the bridesmaid’s homes.) Though I never want to be a caterer, the meal was ready right on time and received rave reviews. Once that was over with, I could relax and enjoy the rest of the weekend!

From the bride and groom’s self-written vows that reflected both the sanctity of the moment and the humour that permeates their relationship to their impromptu dance on the platform during the ceremony, the wedding was, in the words of one of our dear friends, “a wonderful, classy, down to earth celebration.”

For me, one of the highlights of the weekend was having all my children and grandchildren together in one place, something that doesn’t happen often. On Sunday morning, with the bride and groom off on their honeymoon, the rest of us gathered at their home to be for a relaxing brunch before having to go our separate ways. The Easter bunny somehow knew exactly where our five young grandchildren would be and ensured that there were chocolate eggs to be found!

After cleaning up and making sure that everything was ready for Nate and Colleen’s return, we headed for home stopping on the way for Easter dinner at my sister’s place. It was also a celebration of my nephew’s 22nd birthday and in his words, “a perfect end to a perfectly incredible weekend!”

Our beautiful children: Matt and his wife Robin, Nate and his lovely bride Colleen, Melaina and her husband Aaron

Uncle Nate and Auntie Colleen with our five grandchildren

She said yes!

January 22, 2015 / edebock / 12 Comments

During our ten days in Mexico, we intentionally cut ourselves off from the rest of the world. It was a time to unwind and forget about the pressures of life. We left our laptops at home and the cell phone was turned off. I wasn’t sure how well I’d handle being completely out of touch but it was great! I didn’t worry about anything. We’d left the phone number of our resort with our three grown children and with my sister so we knew that they could get in touch with us if they really needed to.

On Monday afternoon when we got back to our room after a long day of relaxing on the beach and doing a bit of snorkelling, we discovered that someone had slipped a tiny note under our door. My heart skipped a beat when I realized that we had a phone message!

Was it my father? At 91 years old and following a stroke in September, he’s quite frail. He’d been doing exceptionally well but had he taken a turn for the worse?

It only took me a moment to unfold the message and learn that something else had happened, something very exciting, something that couldn’t wait for us to get home to be shared!

The note needs a bit of interpretation but I knew in an instant that our youngest son, Nathan, had proposed to his girlfriend, Colleen, and she’d said yes!

We are absolutely delighted!

Welcome to the family, Colleen!

Letting it go… with thanksgiving and hope

December 31, 2014 / edebock / 6 Comments

In just a few hours, 2014 will be forever behind us. For me, it was a year filled with challenges and loss. At the beginning of the year, my smile looked like this

but now, it looks like this.

Like the rest of me, it’s a little worse for wear, but thankfully I still have much to smile about. As I reflect on the struggles of the past year, I’m ready to sing the refrain from Frozen that I, like most parents and grandparents, have heard a bazillion times this year.

Let it go, let it go!

Yes, I’m ready to let go of the negatives of 2014. Instead of dwelling on those things, I choose to hang on to the things that I have to be thankful for.

First and foremost, I’m thankful for a personal relationship with a God who never lets go of me! At the beginning of my cancer journey, He promised to take care of me and he has done just that. I’m thankful for the amazing team of medical people that He’s placed in my life and for the expertise He’s given each one of them.

I’m thankful beyond measure for the love and support of my amazing husband who has walked every step of the journey with me and who helps me hang on when I reach the end of my rope.

I’m thankful for my children, now young adults who make me very proud, and for my darling grandchildren. Being present for Simon’s birth in mid March was definitely one of the highlights of 2014!

Drew and Simon Jami-Lee

Nate Sam

I’m thankful that my father didn’t give up on life when Mom died in June and for the fact that he’s made a remarkable recovery from the stroke that he suffered in September. I’m thankful that we’ve been able to spend time with him this Christmas season.

I’m thankful for the fact that 2014 was the year that I finally reconnected with a cousin who lived with us for awhile when she was a toddler and I was a teen. Though she lives about 4000 km away, it’s been great having ‘little sis’ back in my life!

I’m thankful for amazing friends both near and far including those of you I’ve only met through blogging. I’m especially thankful for the other three-quarters of the Rav 4 and the fact that they convinced me to go to Vegas with them in November!

photo credit: Sheryl Culbert

Yes, even in a year like 2014, I’ve had much to be thankful for. Now’s a good time to let go of all the rest and to look forward to a brand new year. I choose to step into 2015 with hope.

I hope that my treatments continue to be successful and that they become less frequent. That alone would make 2015 a less crazy year! I hope that we can get through an entire year without a family crisis of any kind. I hope that I can enjoy each moment not worrying about the things over which I have no control and I hope that a year from now, I can once more look back with thanksgiving.

What do you have to be thankful for this year? What do you need to let go of? What are some of your hopes for the New Year?

The gift of relaxation

December 26, 2014December 27, 2014 / edebock / 10 Comments

We received our first Christmas gift a bit early this year and what a wonderful one it was! After a two day drive through the mountains, we arrived at our son Matt’s home in Vancouver in time for supper on Dec. 20th. After a quick meal, the three of us headed for Whistler where his in-laws have a ‘cabin’. Not the rustic sort of shelter that I grew up calling a cabin, but a lovely 4 bedroom, 2 bathroom fully equipped house. Robin, her parents and our two young grandson’s were already there. That evening, Matt and Robin presented us with our present… gift cards to Whistler’s Scandinave Spa to enjoy while they hit the ski hills the following day.

photo credit

Nestled into a snowy forested hillside, Scandinave Spa is a haven of peace and tranquility, definitely a little piece of heaven on earth! After walking through the spruce and cedar forest, we entered the reception area where we were issued towels, bathrobes and locker keys. There, the relaxation sequence was also explained: warm your body for 10 to 15 minutes, rinse in cold water for 20 to 30 seconds, then relax for 15 minutes. Repeat the sequence 3 or 4 times.

Our first stop was the eucalyptus steam bath where I could feel tension melting away as my body temperature rose. Ahh… what a wonderful sensation! I felt as though I could stay there forever but soon it was time to move on. Moving outdoors, we strolled down the heated walkway in the crisp mountain air and plunged into the 18ºC cold pool! Wow! That was definitely invigorating!

After relaxing in one of the comfortable solariums, we moved on to one of the outdoor hot pools where we enjoyed sitting under the thermal waterfall and letting the water pummel our shoulders, neck and back. Continuing the hot, cold, relax sequence, we visited both hot pools and the wood burning sauna, plunging into the cold pool or standing under the nordic shower after each hot session and relaxing in the solariums in between. We tried sitting by the outdoor fireplace but it was beginning to drizzle and we found it a bit too chilly. The spa is open year round though so a summer visit would likely include relaxing on the outdoor terraces.

I enjoyed every part of the experience but I knew almost from the beginning that my visit wouldn’t be complete without another session in the steam bath so our last sequence was identical to our first.

In addition to the therapeutic value of hydrotherapy, silence is also an essential component of the Scandinavian bath experience. Though there were a few people who didn’t seem to think that rules applied to them, most of the patrons honoured the no speaking rule making our three hours a soothing, serene experience, one I’d love to repeat someday!

Thank you, Matt and Robin!

Writer’s block

December 17, 2014 / edebock / 10 Comments

Yikes! It’s been almost a month since I posted anything here. I’m pretty sure this has been the longest dry spell since I started blogging seven years ago. Yes, my blog had a birthday earlier this month and I didn’t even acknowledge it with a post.

Lest any of my faithful readers begin to worry that something is seriously wrong, let me assure you that I’m fine. I did come down with a nasty cold immediately following my last treatment and I was under the weather for a little while but I blame the blog’s silence on a combination of the busyness of the season and writer’s block. It seems I simply ran out of things to say!

As I’ve mentioned before, I think the secret to Following Augustine’s longevity is its eclectic nature. Though I’ve loved sharing our experiences in faraway places, it’s been more than a travel blog. Family often shows up but it isn’t a mommy blog and while I occasionally focus on clothing, shoes or accessories, it definitely isn’t a fashion blog. Over the past fifteen and a half months, I’ve used the blog to share my cancer journey but it’s always been about more than that. My faith permeates every part of my life, including what I write, but this isn’t a religion blog either. Occasionally, I climb up on my soapbox and write about a cause that I feel strongly about but it’s definitely not a political or an activist blog. It really is a bit of many things and as a result, I can usually think of something to write about!

Lately, however, my writing brain has been blank! I have a feeling that that isn’t going to last though and I’m certainly not ready to call it quits! I’m in the middle of packing suitcases again and we’ll soon be off to Vancouver to spend Christmas with family there. If that doesn’t provide me with inspiration, I’m pretty sure our trip to Mexico in January will!

In the meantime, let me leave you with a cute conversation that our six-year-old grandson had with his parents lately.

Drew: I wonder how old Mickey Mouse is.
Mommy: Mickey Mouse is very old.
Daddy: Like older than Grammas and Grandpas.
Drew: Wow! Like 21?

Here’s my slightly older than 21 hubby with Drew and his two younger siblings on our recent pre-Christmas visit to Calgary.

School dreams and stress

October 28, 2014October 28, 2014 / edebock / 12 Comments

For many years, in spite of the fact that I enjoyed my teaching career, I had what I called my “school dreams” in the days leading up to each new school year. These were dreams in which everything went wrong. All a teacher’s worst nightmares would visit me as the end of August approached! One of the things that I’ve really enjoyed about retirement has been the absence of these dreams; until recently that is.

Why in the world would I be having school dreams again more than seven years after retiring from the classroom? It happened again last night. This time, I was trying to teach a high school English lesson to a large class of students in a crowded area at the back of a busy hairdressing salon! Yes, my school dreams are like that; a curious mixture of realistic and just plain weird. Midway through the lesson, all but two of the students got up and went upstairs to some sort of student lounge. In spite of my pleading and threatening (definitely not effective teaching strategies), they refused to come down again. Over the years students leaving class and refusing to come back has been a fairly common theme in these dreams.

Teaching is a stressful occupation and during my career, though I anticipated the beginning of each new school year with excitement, I recognized that my strange dreams were a symptom of that stress.

Over the past 14 months, my life has been a series of one stressful event after another. I thought I was coping well but little by little, with each ensuing event, the stress built up until now it’s beginning to bubble over. According to the Holmes and Rahe Life Events Stress Test, which is supposed to give a rough estimate of how stress affects health, events including death of a close family member (Mom), major personal illness (cancer) and major change in health of a family member (Dad) have given me a 50-50 chance of succumbing to stress-related illness. I’m doing my best to combat that by continuing to eat well, exercise regularly and by ensuring that I get enough sleep but it’s absolutely amazing what’s stored away in the deep recesses of our brains. Apparently, mine still connects stress to teaching and is reacting to my current stress level with school dreams! How weird is that!

Now the challenge is to find ways to reduce the build up of stress and manage it better in the future.

Any suggestions?

High flying adventure

October 4, 2014October 4, 2014 / edebock / 9 Comments

We crossed another item off my unwritten bucket list today. Last Christmas, there was a little gift box under the tree for Richard and I from our youngest son, Nate. When we opened it, we found a tiny toy helicopter and a note promising us a ride in a real one! I was absolutely thrilled! It may seem odd for a girl who spent most of her life being afraid of heights to want to fly in a helicopter but it’s something I’ve wanted to do for a long time. Nate’s original plan was that we would fly over when he was on one of his mountain climbing expeditions but with our crazy schedule this year and some recent developments in his own life, we weren’t able to make that work. Instead, he spent time visiting Dad in hospital in Edmonton today freeing us up for this afternoon’s adventure.

As we drove west of Calgary to the heli tours site near Canmore, the prairie and the foothills were bathed in sunshine and the fall colours shone. I could hardly wait to see them from above. The helicopter carried six passengers and when we were asked which brave soul would volunteer to sit in the co-pilot seat, I was ready. My hand shot up instantly! Soon I was seated in the glass bubble with the pilot at my side.

The flight was great! Take off was incredibly smooth and I literally didn’t feel a thing when the chopper set down. I likened it to riding on a feather! I’d been told how incredibly noisy helicopters are but with our earphones on, sound wasn’t a problem at all.

A strong wind kept us from flying into the mountains where turbulence might have been frightful. Instead, we skirted along the foothills enjoying views of the mountains to the west and the wide open prairie to the east. We followed the Bow River for a bit and saw herds of buffalo and wild horses below.

Our sightseeing tour included a champagne picnic which we enjoyed on a grassy bluff overlooking the river with rapids churning below. We were sheltered from the wind and it was oh, so relaxing!

So what’s next on my bucket list? I’m not sure but I do know that it includes another high flying adventure… a ride in a hot air balloon!

Enough already!

September 25, 2014 / edebock / 16 Comments

Just when I thought that life was going to settle down a little, my world was turned upside down again!

Last Thursday, my 91-year-old father flew to Alberta from his home in Vancouver. On Saturday, he walked his granddaughter down the aisle of Fort Edmonton‘s historic Anglican Church of St. Michael and the Angels. It was a unique and beautiful wedding and he was honoured to play such an important role.

Less than 48 hours later, he was relaxing at my sister’s home in Vegreville when he suffered a cerebellar stroke!

Richard and I had just finished playing the third hole on our local golf course when the clubhouse manager drove out to tell us that our niece was trying to get hold of us about a medical emergency. We live just minutes away so in no time at all we were on our way to the Vegreville Hospital, arriving just in time for me to climb into an ambulance and accompany Dad as he was transferred to a larger hospital in Edmonton.

After laying in Emergency for another 48 hours waiting for a bed, he was finally transferred to the stroke ward yesterday. A cerebellar stroke affects the back of the brain which controls balance and coordination. Dad suffered no paralysis but he’s unable to stand without assistance because his sense of balance is completely off and he’s experiencing some weakness in his right hand. His speech is slurred, but mostly understandable, and he’s having some difficulty swallowing so he’s being given soft foods and thickened drinks. He is cognitively unimpaired and is in reasonably good spirits considering the circumstances.

I, on the other hand, feel like I’m reaching the end of my rope! In the past thirteen months, I’ve been diagnosed with two unrelated cancers. I’ve had seven hours of surgery and thirty radiation treatments for one of them and three radioisotope treatments for the other. I also lost my mother in June. Enough already!

In this morning’s devotions, I read about Gideon and I could definitely identify when he asked, “If the LORD is with us, why has all this happened to us?” (Judges 6:13)

Another devotional that I read this week was written by blogger, Cindy Keating of Red Carpet Life. It spoke of the pruning that God does in our lives to bring about greater fruitfulness.

I looked up and saw a sadly barren tree taped off in the middle of the orchard. It stuck out like a sore thumb with a noticeable sign hanging from it’s highest branch: “Pruning In Process.”

I instantly thought of the many painful times I have had to be pruned so the beauty of my fruit could shine for God’s glory rather than my own.

Is that what’s happening in my life? If so, I hope God has read this recommendation concerning pruning:

When deciding how much to prune a tree, as little as possible is often the best rule of thumb. All prunes place stress on a tree and increase its vulnerability…

As I said, I think enough’s enough already!

I know I’m not alone in asking why God is allowing these things to happen. The writers of the Psalms certainly asked similar questions. I particularly like the Psalms of Asaph who said things like “When I tried to understand all this, it was oppressive to me” (Psalm 73:16) and “do not forget the lives of your afflicted people forever.” (Psalm 74:19b)

I’ve often heard it said that God doesn’t allow us to go through more than we can handle but the Bible doesn’t actually say that and it definitely isn’t true. He allows more than we can handle so that we learn to lean on Him and, in spite of my whining today, that’s exactly what I will continue to do! I’ll put one foot in front of the other, hang onto the hem of His garment, and wait to see how He’ll get us over this latest hurdle.

We have no idea what the next little while will hold. Dad will likely remain in hospital for at least a week or two where he’ll have access to physio and occupational therapy. The neurologist anticipates that he’ll make a fairly good recovery but we have no way of knowing when he’ll be fit to travel again, whether or not one of us will need to accompany him, or whether he’ll need a higher level of care than he had before.

Please God, no more crises for awhile. Enough already!

Porteau Cove

August 25, 2014 / edebock / 3 Comments

As we sat in an Edmonton waiting room on April 10th anticipating our first meeting with the surgeon who was to remove the cancerous tumour from my salivary gland, my cell phone rang. It was our four-year-old grandson, Sam.

“Can we go camping with you this summer?” he asked.

We spent the past week honouring that request at beautiful Porteau Cove Provincial Park, just a half hour drive from his North Vancouver home. At Sam’s age, I lived in an oceanfront house and the beach was my playground. I’ve always said that you can take the girl away from the ocean but you can’t take the salt out of her blood. This week at Porteau was good for my soul!

From the morning mist hanging over Howe Sound to the sun sinking behind the ridge across the water, our days were spectacular. We watched seals bobbing in the water, bald eagles plunging from the sky to catch fish, and herons standing like sentinels at the low tide line every morning. We also watched the brazen little squirrel that we nicknamed Sticky Fingers attempting to steal food from our table!

Our days were filled with fun. With our two little pirates, Sam and Nate, we built a driftwood fort amongst the logs on the beach and searched for treasure (geocaches). We visited nearby Shannon Falls and toured the Britannia Mine Museum again. We even had front row seats for the beginning of the first Canadian Surfski Championships yesterday. We ended every day around a propane fire pit roasting marshmallows and eating s’mores. It lacked the crackle of a wood fire and the smell of smoke that usually goes along with camping, but the blue sky days and lack of rain have resulted in a fire ban along the coast and only propane is allowed.

Now we’re back in the city where the next few days will be spent, in part, helping my 91-year-old father with banking and other issues related to my mother’s estate, but the memories made over the past week will be with us for a very long time!

Baby snuggles

August 4, 2014 / edebock / 12 Comments

This morning, we loaded our suitcase into the vehicle and left home as we’ve done almost every Monday since the beginning of June, but this time, instead of heading for Edmonton and another round of radiation treatments, we turned south and came to Calgary to get some baby snuggles!

After returning from Vancouver last week, we met with Dr. Sandy McEwan, head of the neuroendocrine team at the Cross Cancer Institute, to review the results of the previous week’s CT scan and begin planning for future treatment. We were given the good news that, in spite of the fact that they haven’t been treated or even looked at since the beginning of February, my neuroendocrine tumours are stable. Apparently, there hasn’t been any significant change in them while I’ve been undergoing treatment for my second cancer. Now, with the exception of one monthly injection, I am free of all things medical for the entire month of August!

After being away from home so much recently, it was tempting to stay put for awhile but grandchildren are a much bigger temptation! Simon is almost 5 months old already and I hadn’t seen him since the beginning of June. We’ll be taking care of him and his two older siblings all day tomorrow and the next day while our daughter, Melaina, takes a first aid course. I guess we’ll see how much energy Gram has these days!