Elegance

What elegance is not

/ edebock / Leave a comment

LogoFor the past year and probably longer, my most read blog post has been one that I wrote in September 2020 entitled 50 characteristics of an elegant woman. Every time I look at my stats and see it at the top of the list, I can’t help wondering why. I know that if you google “characteristics of an elegant woman” it’s one of the first items that pops up, but why are so many people looking for information about elegance? Is it something that’s lacking in our world today?  

The dictionary defines elegance as the “quality of being graceful and attractive in appearance or manner”. Elegance is so much more than what we look like or how we dress. It’s the whole package, inside and out. 

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Since this is a topic that is obviously of interest, I thought I’d dive into it a bit deeper today and look at what elegance is not. I love the quote above, but it was also Yves Saint Laurent who said, “We must never confuse elegance with snobbery.” Elegance can’t be bought. A mean-spirited woman in expensive clothes and impeccable makeup isn’t elegant. She’s simply a well-dressed nasty person.

While elegance might sound like an old-fashioned concept, it isn’t only for the elderly or a practice from a bygone era. It’s something that every woman of any age can aspire to.

Perhaps you were brought up with the myth that elegance means conforming and keeping quiet. Not so! As I said in my previous post, an elegant woman isn’t loud or obnoxious, but she graciously and calmly stands up for what she believes in. She isn’t contentious, but at the same time, she isn’t a doormat. Elegance is not weakness! 

While I was writing this, 1 Corinthians, the “love chapter” from the Bible that’s often read at weddings, kept coming to mind, particularly verses 4 and 5. 

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 

Everything that is said about love could also be said about elegance! Elegance is patient, it doesn’t envy, it doesn’t boast, it isn’t proud, it doesn’t dishonour others, it’s not self-seeking, it’s not easily angered, and it doesn’t keep a record of wrongs. 

One of the areas where I see a distinct absence of elegance in today’s world is social media. An elegant woman puts her cell phone aside and gives her full attention to the people she’s with. When she’s alone, she doesn’t spend endless hours scrolling on Facebook and getting caught up in pointless debates. She’s careful about what she posts online and doesn’t use social media for self-promotion. 

Elegance isn’t about perfection. It’s about being comfortable with who you are, knowing your limitations, growing from past experiences, and not worrying about the things you can’t control. 

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The top three

/ edebock / 2 Comments

LogoOne of the things that I enjoy about blogging with WordPress is the stats that they show me. While I can’t actually see who you are, at any given time I can see how many people have visited the blog on a particular day, week, month, or year as well as how many posts they’ve read and where the readers are from. It’s always fun to see different countries around the world light up on the little map on the stats page!

But what does this have to do with fashion, you ask! Out of curiosity and also to help me determine what most appeals to my readers, I recently checked to see which of my fashion posts have been the most popular. Since quite a few readers have joined us recently, I thought today I’d share the top three again. If you’re interested in looking back and reading any of these posts, simply click on the titles.

#1  How to shop like a celebrity

Helen Mirren thrifting

Published on August 2, 2019, this post about celebrities who shop thrift stores has been read a whopping 14 530 times! Of course, that probably has more to do with search engines picking up famous names like Helen Mirren and Julia Roberts than it does with my writing skills or my popularity as a blogger!

#2  A model who embraced her age

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Cindy Joseph on the front cover of Viv magazine – July 2007

This post, now read 9306 times, was written on July 27, 2018 to share the sad news of the untimely death of Cindy Joseph, model and founder of BOOM! by Cindy Joseph, a pro-age skin and cosmetics line. The company, now BOOM! Beauty, continues to honour Cindy’s legacy with their pro-age, as opposed to anti-age, philosophy. Amongst their products are the popular and easy to use multitasking “Boomsticks” that act as lipstick, blush, and eyeshadow all in one.

#3  50 characteristics of an elegant woman

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At 1809 reads, this post, published on September 11, 2020, is a distant third, but it seems to be gaining in popularity as it has been showing up in my stats almost daily lately. In fact, it was read over 200 times in the month of January alone. That makes me wonder if there’s a growing interest in elegance among today’s women. That’s food for thought and perhaps a topic for a future post!

On an entirely different note, for those who are interested, I’m still waiting for a date for the treatment that I’m to have to destroy the tumour on my liver. I would say waiting patiently, but that would be a lie and #51 on my list of characteristics of an elegant woman should probably be “Is a woman of integrity who always tells the truth!” 

Casual elegance for Christmas 2020

/ edebock / 2 Comments

LogoAs a detail oriented person and one who makes lists for almost everything,  a couple of years ago I started making a list of all the Christmas events that we expected to attend and planning in advance exactly what I was going to wear to each one. It made getting ready so easy and took a wee bit of stress out of a very busy time of year.

Then came 2020, an oddly quiet Christmas season! The page is blank. There are no Christmas parties, concerts, or programs to attend. Nothing! On December 8, the Alberta government declared a State of Public Health Emergency. All indoor and outdoor social gatherings, public and private, are prohibited until at least January 12.

In spite of the fact that hubby and I will be home alone for Christmas, I decided to pull out a few dressy pieces and add a bit of sparkle to the season. It’s time for a bit of casual elegance even if it’s only the two of us at the kitchen table or dancing alone in the living room!

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I’ve worn this sweater several times lately. It was purchased on a Christmas shopping trip three years ago. The shimmering gold sections add a festive touch of elegance. For a casual at-home look, I’m wearing it with my comfy old tan cords. It also looks good with my grey skinny jeans.

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This lightweight blazer with a silvery pinstripe has been in my closet for too many years to count and has been part of many different Christmas outfits over the years, but for a 2020 look I’ve paired it with jeans and a plain white t-shirt from Uniqlo. Perhaps I’ll switch the t-shirt for my green sequinned top for Christmas Eve.

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With Christmas and New Years Day both falling on Fridays this season, Fashion Friday will be taking a two week break. This feature will be back on January 8th with my annual fashion shopping review. In the meantime, I do plan on writing some other non-fashion posts, so please stay tuned!

50 characteristics of an elegant woman

/ edebock / 15 Comments

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Pamela Lutrell, writer of the blog Over 50, Feeling 40, has been writing a series recently on cultivating elegance. Before she started, she asked her readers how they would define elegance. That led to a very interesting discussion and started me thinking a lot about what it means to be an elegant woman. 

What is elegance? Is it an old-fashioned concept gone the way of the dodo bird or is it something that today’s busy woman should aspire to?  

The dictionary defines elegance as the “quality of being graceful and attractive in appearance or manner.” It’s the “or manner” part that caught my attention. Elegance is much more than what we look like or how we dress. It’s the whole package, inside and out. 

With that in mind, I think an elegant woman…

  1. Dresses appropriately for the occasion.
  2. Doesn’t dress to impress.
  3. Knows her style and dresses accordingly. 
  4. Practices modesty and moderation in all things.
  5. Chooses quality over quantity. 
  6. Feels free to be herself. Is authentic, not contrived.
  7. Uses makeup subtly to enhance her natural beauty, not hide it. 
  8. Maintains good posture and moves gracefully.
  9. Doesn’t compare herself with others.
  10. Exhibits self-confidence. 
  11. Looks to other women for inspiration, not competition. 
  12. Practices good manners. 
  13. Accepts compliments gracefully.
  14. Has a heart of gratitude.
  15. Isn’t a complainer. 
  16. Engages in intelligent conversation and appreciates an intellectual debate.
  17. Is present in every conversation giving everyone her full attention. 
  18. Isn’t judgemental.
  19. Doesn’t gossip. 
  20. Practices discretion. Doesn’t share everything with everyone. 
  21. Is kind with her words about others. 
  22. Speaks eloquently and thoughtfully.
  23. Is never loud or obnoxious.
  24. Doesn’t always have to be right. 
  25. Doesn’t always have to have the last word. 
  26. Is comfortable with silence.  
  27. Stands up for what she believes in, but does it graciously. 
  28. Doesn’t lose her cool in public, but gracefully and calmly stands up to people who are disrespectful. 
  29. Thinks of others and puts their feelings ahead of her own. 
  30. Doesn’t try to control other people. 
  31. Doesn’t take other people for granted.
  32. Practices patience with everyone and everything in her life. 
  33. Admits when she is wrong and seeks to make amends.
  34. Apologizes sincerely. 
  35. Doesn’t speak down to children, but engages with them at an appropriate level. 
  36. Respects other people’s time and avoids being late. 
  37. Enjoys learning new things. 
  38. Recognizes her own areas of weakness. 
  39. Isn’t wasteful.
  40. Appreciates all that she’s been blessed with. 
  41. Takes pride in what she does, but isn’t a perfectionist.
  42. Isn’t boastful. 
  43. Appreciates hard work. 
  44. Lives passionately. 
  45. Isn’t afraid of getting dirty working in the garden, making mud pies with her grandchildren, or hiking a rugged trail. 
  46. Knows that life is about small and simple pleasures. 
  47. Persists when life gets tough, which it inevitably will. 
  48. Doesn’t obsess over the “what ifs” and “if onlys” in life. 
  49. Knows that the grass isn’t greener on the other side of the fence and when it looks as if it is, she waters her own yard. 
  50. Radiates inner peace. 

LogoDoes this list make elegance sound impossible? I hope not. Remember, no one is perfect. None of us gets it right all the time, but I think these are qualities that we can all aspire to and that they’re just as appropriate today as they were in our grandmother’s day. What do you think? Can you add any others to the list?