June 18, 2015 is Wink Day! The Canadian beauty industry, through their charitable foundation, Beauty Gives Back, has been encouraging women to post pictures and videos (with the hashtag #winkday) of themselves wearing blue eyeshadow today in support of women going through the emotional trauma of the Cancer Blues. The Cancer Blues is a term, coined by Beauty Gives Back, for the emotional distress caused by cancer and its treatment and is an often ignored consequence of the disease that can affect a person’s ability to fight and thrive through the ordeal.
That’s definitely a cause that I could get behind, especially when all it took was a bit of blue eyeshadow, a camera and social media! Since we’re visiting in Calgary, daughter, Melaina, and granddaughter, Jami-Lee, joined in the fun. Even Jami’s cat, Duncan, with his blue collar, had to get in on the action!
In spite of dealing with two completely separate cancers over the past two years, one of them incurable, I can honestly say that, though I have, of course, faced some emotional symptoms, I have not really suffered from the Cancer Blues. I can easily understand how it could happen though. I feel blessed to have had the amazing support of family, friends and a fantastic medical team. I have the good fortune of living just two hours away from the Cross Cancer Institute in Edmonton, Alberta, a world class treatment centre that is truly dedicated to treating the whole person. A Look Good, Feel Better workshop early last year was fun and a very helpful diversion from the more serious sides of dealing with my illness, but above all, I attribute my lack of mental distress to my undying faith in God who assured me the day after I learned that I had cancer, “I’ve got this in my hands. I know what’s going on. I’m going to take care of you!”
It’s not too late to get in on the Wink Day action! Photos and videos can be posted throughout the month of June. Why not wink with us?
Aging beauty
I had no intention of starting a series when I posted “What makes a woman beautiful?” a few days ago, but Michelle’s comment really spoke to me and I feel I must respond. She said
The most beautiful female face I’ve ever seen was the National Silver Cross mother about 25 years ago. It was before Afghanistan, and finding a mother of a person who had died in armed conflict was becoming difficult. I do not recall her name, but she had the most beautiful, kind eyes that sparkled. Even with tears in her eyes as she placed the wreath on the National Cenotaph, all her 95-year-old wrinkles made her look like she was still smiling. She was just stunning.
I had to ask myself why women in our society value youthful appearance so highly.
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The ads that appear in the first few pages of my latest Chatelaine magazine scream the message loud and clear, but do young women really have a monopoly on physical beauty? Let’s use my Mom as an example. There’s no question that she was lovely in her younger days
but is she really any less beautiful here at the age of 88 with her great grandson in her arms?
Though I’m not crazy about my marionette lines and the little wrinkles appearing above my upper lip, I think that a young face, as pretty as it might be, is a bit like an empty canvas waiting for an artist’s brush. In my opinion, believing that beauty belongs only to the young is like thinking that a blank journal is more interesting to read than an autobiography!
That brings me to one of my favourite photos from our time in China. I thought she was beautiful when I first saw her and I still do. I wish I could have spoken to her but language was a barrier. I have no doubt, however, that the lines on her face tell a story… a story of hardship, a story of survival, but hopefully also a story with some happiness in it.
Do you think she’s beautiful?
Look Good, Feel Better
There is no question that when a woman looks good, she feels better.
When I walked into the Cross Cancer Institute yesterday, it was nice to know that I wasn’t there for a test, a treatment or a consultation with the medical team who care for me. This time, I was there for a two hour Look Good Feel Better workshop sponsored by the Canadian Cosmetic, Toiletry and Fragrance Association. The program, which is free of charge to all participants, is designed to help women with cancer feel better about themselves and thus face their illness with greater confidence.
When I registered for the workshop, I was told that I would receive a kit containing a variety of cosmetic and personal care products. I expected a small collection of samples from the various CCTFA member companies but I greatly underestimated their generosity and was completely blown away by what I actually received.
In addition to many cosmetic companies, Look Good, Feel Better has several other corporate sponsors including Shoppers Drug Mart, Winners, WestJet and The Globe and Mail. Over 1800 volunteer cosmetic advisers and hair alternative specialists give generously of their time to bring the program to cancer care centres across the country. The ratio of volunteers to participants at yesterday’s seminar was almost one to one!
The session started with tips and techniques for properly cleansing skin and applying make-up. I have been meticulous about skin care for many years, cleansing and moisturizing every morning and night, but when it comes to make-up, I’m a minimalist. If I’d joined the recent craze and posted a no make-up selfie on Facebook, it wouldn’t have looked very different from my usual day-to-day appearance. I feel naked without mascara and I often use a bit of blush to add some colour to my otherwise pale complexion but that’s about all unless I’m going somewhere special. Then, I might use a tinted moisturizer and add some eye shadow. When I was teaching school, I always used an under eye concealer but when I retired, the dark circles under my eyes magically disappeared and I quit using it! It was actually fun to follow the 12 step program and put on my full face yesterday and I was quite happy with the results!
I was a little disappointed that not much was said about the effects that cancer and it’s treatment can have on the skin but I’ve since discovered that the Signature Steps guide that came with my kit contains some of that information. It also includes sections on body care, hair removal, eye care, oral care, nail care, nutrition and exercise, all topics that weren’t covered in the session.
I’ve always said that if I lost my hair to cancer (which I probably won’t), I wouldn’t bother with a wig. I had my head shaved as part of a cancer fundraiser several years ago and absolutely loved it. After the hair alternatives portion of yesterday’s workshop, however, I’m not so sure. There are so many cute wigs to choose from!
Already bald, as the result of chemotherapy, Tracy, like several of the other ladies, entered the room looking pale and apprehensive. As she applied her make-up, her face began to glow. It’s amazing what a difference something as simple as drawing eyebrows onto a hairless face can make! When it was time for someone to volunteer to model the wigs, Tracy raised her hand. As wig after wig was placed on her shiny head and we all oohed and aahed over how attractive she looked in several of them, she truly came to life!
What a blessing it was for each of us to leave a place where we’ve spent some of the most stressful moments of our lives with smiles plastered across our freshly made up faces! Thank you, CCTFA!
What makes a woman beautiful?
I’ve been thinking a lot about appearance lately and questioning what it is that makes a woman beautiful. It began about a month ago when my Facebook news feed began to fill up with no make-up selfies, photos of fresh faced women without any make-up. Apparently, this was an offshoot of a campaign that originated in Britain in early March as a breast cancer awareness and fundraising endeavor. It quickly went viral. On this side of the pond, the breast cancer connection was lost and the movement became about women being comfortable in their own skin and embracing their natural beauty. Women were to post their no make-up photo then nominate other female friends to do the same. The response was interesting. Many posted their pictures proudly, others with disclaimers apologizing to those who had to see them, while still others refused to post at all.
I enjoyed the pictures but I was saddened by some of the responses. What is it about our culture that tells a woman that she needs to apologize for her natural appearance or worse yet, that she shouldn’t be seen publicly without being fully made up?
The answer is easy; the messages are all around us. Flip open any women’s magazine and you’re instantly inundated by air brushed images promising younger looking skin, flawless complexions, lusher lashes, smoother lips and glossy nails. How easy it is to forget that these are simply advertisements aimed at selling products. Instead, for many, they become the goal, the standard of beauty, and they go to great lengths to try to attain it.
The Bible has something very different to say about beauty.
Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 1 Peter 3:3-4
Though this passage has often been misinterpreted, nowhere does the Bible say that a godly woman shouldn’t braid her hair, wear elaborate jewelry and fine clothes, or use make-up. It simply says that her true beauty shouldn’t depend on these things. It ought to come from inside.
That’s easy to say when you’re comfortable with what you see in the mirror, but what if you really aren’t? I’m waiting for surgery to remove a cancerous tumour from my parotid gland, the largest salivary gland on the left side of my face, and I have no idea what I’ll look like afterward. The best case scenario would leave me with nothing more than an S-shaped scar down the crease in front of my ear, under my ear lobe, and down onto the side of my neck. A change in hairstyle could easily camouflage that. The tumour is deep, however, and removal may require a much more complicated procedure. There’s no way of knowing this in advance, however, so I’ve already signed consent that would allow the surgeon to make a much larger incision and cut through and temporarily move my jawbone if necessary. This procedure would also require a temporary tracheotomy and, of course, the scarring would be much more extensive. In either case, this is very delicate surgery due to the close proximity to a major facial nerve. If possible, the nerve will be saved but there is no guarantee of that. If it cannot be, I will be left with significant drooping on that side of my face.
So, what will I look like when this is over? Will I be one of those people that little children stare at and whose embarrassed mothers hush when they innocently ask, “Why does that lady look so funny?” Will inner beauty shine through a lopsided face? Will I have the courage to wear my scars as a badge of survival?
Tomorrow, I’m going to be attending a Look Good, Feel Better workshop. The program, an initiative of the Canadian Cosmetic, Toiletry and Fragrance Association, is designed to boost the morale of women undergoing cancer treatment by empowering them to manage the effects that cancer and its treatment can have on their appearance. Perhaps I’ll learn something that will help me deal with my post surgery face, whatever it looks like.
Ultimately, however, make-up or not, scars and all, I just want the beauty of Christ to be seen in me.
Following Augustine 