Beauty

More than your appearance

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Logo by SamI’ve written about today’s topic before, but the beginning of a new year seems to be a good time to revisit it. As women, we are constantly bombarded by air brushed images promising us thinner bodies, younger looking skin, flawless complexions, lusher lashes, smoother lips, and glossy nails. How easy it is to forget that these are simply advertisements aimed at selling products. For many, they become the goal, the standard of beauty, and they go to great lengths to try to attain it. But do these things truly make us beautiful? What about clothes? Does beauty come from wearing the right brands and the latest trends? I think not!

A nasty, mean-spirited woman dressed in designer clothes and made up impeccably, is still mean and nasty. Unless something happens to transform her from the inside out, that ill-tempered spirit will soon become evident and we will see through her attractive appearance.

The Bible tells us  “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit.” 1 Peter 3:3-4a

Does this mean that a woman shouldn’t concern herself with style, dress in fine clothes, wear elaborate jewelry or use make-up. Absolutely not! It simply says that her true beauty shouldn’t depend on these things. It ought to come from within.

Stephanie Lahart, inspirational author of Overcoming Life’s Obstacles, puts it this way:  “Her outer beauty is just a bonus, but it is her inner beauty that’s most captivating. She’s loving, caring, kindhearted, empathetic, and genuine. She’s comfortable in her own skin, therefore, she’s able to compliment, celebrate, and build up others around her. She’s a quality woman with a strong sense of self! She doesn’t need the spotlight, because she is the light wherever she goes. Smart, confident, ambitious, and fearless… Beautifully created from the inside out.”

Being beautiful on the inside is about how you treat other people, but it’s also about how you nurture yourself. What do you tell yourself when you look in the mirror? Instead of berating yourself for your physical flaws (we all have them!) try acknowledging something positive about yourself, something that you’re proud of, something that makes you feel good. Appreciate your uniqueness. Don’t try to hide your authentic self or be someone you’re not. As much as possible, surround yourself with positive people who encourage you to be the best that you can be. Choose role models, not for their outward appearance, but for who they are on the inside. And finally, practice gratitude.

In 2024, let’s have fun with fashion, but let’s focus on being more than just our appearance!

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Vogue’s oldest cover model

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Logo by SamVogue is arguably the most famous fashion magazine in the world. First published in 1892 as a weekly newspaper, it slowly evolved into the monthly publication that it is today. While print magazines might not be as popular as they once were, the US edition of Vogue had 11.1 million readers in the spring of 2021! There are also 26 other editions of the magazine internationally. Sometimes referred to as the bible of fashion, Vogue is an iconic trendsetter within the realms of fashion, lifestyle, and beauty, and increasingly deals with political, social and cultural topics as well. When Vogue says something is beautiful, most people would probably agree. 

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This month, Vogue Philippines says that 106-year-old Apo Whang-Od is beautiful and I couldn’t agree more! As Margareta Magnusson says in her small book, The Swedish Art of Aging Exuberantly, “a patina of warmth and a well-lived life shines visible in her face”.

Whang-Od is the Philippines’ oldest mambabatok or traditional Kalinga tattoo artist and has been performing the ancient art of hand-tapped tattoos since she was a teenager. Every year thousands of tourists flood to Buscalan, a remote mountain village about a 15 hour drive north of Manila, seeking her signature designs. Each symbol carries a special meaning. Some represent things of nature while others signify strength, beauty, bravery or fertility.

Whang Od uses an ancient technique; her only tools a bamboo stick, a thorn from a pomelo tree, water and coal. With intense concentration, she paints a design on the skin using the homemade coal-water ink then tap by tap, she uses the thorn and the stick to push the ink deep into the skin

According to tradition, a mambabatok is only allowed to pass their skill down through their own bloodline, so Whang-Od, who learned the art from her father, has been training her grandnieces in the ancient art. At 106, however, she has no plans to retire. She says that she will continue tattooing for as long as her eyesight allows!

“We believe that the concept of beauty needs to evolve, and include diverse and inclusive faces and forms. What we hope to speak about is the beauty of humanity,” said Vogue editor-in-chief, Bea Valdes. I think they also captured the beauty of age! Prior to this, the oldest Vogue cover model was Dame Judi Dench who appeared on the front of the British edition in 2020 at the age of 85.

When I saw the cover picture of Whang-Oh, I couldn’t help thinking of this photo, one of my favourites from our time in China. She may not be a cover model for Vogue, but she’s appeared on the blog more than once before and I wouldn’t be surprised if she did again! I don’t know her name and I have no idea how old she was, but I thought she was beautiful and I still do.

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The art of aging gracefully

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Since I spent much of the past week camping and yesterday participating in a senior’s golf tournament, I don’t have a regular Fashion Friday post for today. Instead, I’m going to share some words of wisdom from Donna Ashworth’s book, To The Women: words to live by. 

Think about it, you have EARNED this face.
Every line, a laugh shared.
Every wrinkle, a year survived.
Every age spot, a day that the sun shone on you.
Some women believe that as they age, they LOSE their looks. Oh my friends how wrong this is.
A beautiful young women is a happy accident of nature but a beautiful older woman?
She is a work of art.
The Japanese have a practice whereby they fill any broken objects with gold, believing that something which is broken has earned its beauty and should be celebrated and decorated rather than discarded.
I feel this way about women.
It took a long time to find out who you really truly are. A long time. The acceptance that old age brings is freeing. It brings with it peace and happiness.
Everyone knows, happiness looks good on us all.
Your body has been changing since the day you were born and will continue till the day you depart. Ride with it, accept it, embrace it. Be amazed by it.
Allow your face to represent your life, your stories, your joys.
Why choose to be an older woman fervently chasing youth, when you could be that older women who knows what she is worth and has earned every minute of her hard-won self-acceptance.
The trick with ageing successfully my friend, is to pay as little attention to it as possible.

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I’ve shared this photo before, but it’s one of my favourites from our time in China. I thought she was beautiful when I first saw her and I still do. I wish I could have spoken to her but language was a barrier. I have no doubt, however, that the well-earned lines on her face tell a story… a story of hardship, a story of survival, but hopefully also a story with some happiness in it. As we age, may our faces also tell our stories with grace and self-acceptance.

 

Are you high maintenance?

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LogoWhen we travelled to Europe two years ago I learned that I could easily fit everything I needed for three and a half weeks away from home in a teeny, tiny carry-on, but when we take the vehicle, moderation or minimalism go out the window! After all, there’s a lot of space in a large SUV! On the way home from our recent trip to Jasper, we spent the weekend in Edmonton with our son and his family. I took some good-natured teasing from both hubby and son when they discovered that I’d packed six pairs of shoes for one week away! I was laughingly told that I’m high maintenance.

That led me to wonder… what makes a woman high maintenance? One definition I found online says that a high maintenance woman “places a strong emphasis on her own image, wants, needs, and desires. Her feelings are her highest priority, and she expects everyone around her to conform to her self-created worldview and value.” Ouch! That’s certainly not the kind of woman I want to be!

As often happens, the idea for this post took me down several online rabbit trails looking for information about what people really mean when they refer to a woman as high maintenance. I found lists that included traits such as needy and controlling, self-obsessed, hard to please, always plays the victim, wants you to be her personal chauffeur, makes you feel like her errand boy. Interestingly, most of these were written by men. I can’t help wondering how many of them were coming out of a bad relationship when they wrote these things!

I also found several “How high maintenance are you?” quizzes that assign points to traits such as wears high heels every day, owns 20+ pairs of shoes, wears makeup daily, takes 15+ minutes to apply makeup, buys high end makeup, has painted nails, wears acrylic nails, has nails done professionally, has a regular pedicure, gets a massage regularly, wears a lot of jewelry, carries a designer purse, etc. According to those, I am definitely NOT high maintenance!

Clearly, there are women (and men) who excel at self-indulgence and others who take absolutely no interest or pleasure in their own appearance. Then there are the rest of us who fall somewhere in the middle. Not only do we not really know for sure if we’re high maintenance, we probably don’t even care! Instead of worrying about whether or not I’m high maintenance, I prefer to focus on what kind of person I am. Am I a person of integrity? Am I kind, compassionate, and self-controlled? Do I exhibit patience and humility in dealing with others?

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And now, about the six pairs of shoes! I took my hiking shoes, my walking shoes, my white leather sneakers, a pair of casual flats, and two pairs of sandals. I wore all of them except the dressy sandals which I would have worn to church except that it was cool and rainy that morning. Instead, I wore the flats. Come to think of it, I actually had my water shoes with me too and wore them when we went kayaking. And my rubber boots were in the back of the vehicle! They stay there all summer in case they’re needed when we’re camping.

Don’t anyone tell my husband or my son that I actually had eight pairs of footwear with me! 🤣

Nature’s lace

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I’m not a big fan of winter, but without it we’d never see one of nature’s most amazing phenomenons. This post is especially for those of you who live where hoarfrost never forms.

Unlike regular frost which is essentially frozen dew coating surfaces like rooftops and grass with a thin layer of white, hoarfrost looks like feathers growing on a variety of surfaces. Conditions have to be just right for it to form. One or more days in a row of fog with air temperatures below the freezing point is a perfect scenario. We had such a day yesterday and woke up to a beautiful display of nature’s lace this morning. A quick walk around the yard before the sun rose over the rooftops yielded some very interesting photos.

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Hoarfrost forms when water vapour in the air comes in contact with solid surfaces that are below the freezing point and instantly crystallizes. The more moisture in the air, the more ice crystals form. Interlocking crystal patterns become more and more intricate as they build upon one another forming amazing feathery patterns on tree branches, leaves, and other surfaces. When sunlight hits them, the sight is spectacular!

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After my second walk around the yard taking pictures this morning, hubby suggested that we go for a drive. I’m glad he did! Hoarfrost doesn’t usually last very long. The slightest breeze will send the crystals cascading to the ground and once the sun has been on them for very long they also begin to fall.

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Mundane things like fences and power lines are transformed and look at the backstop on the school ground, a solid curtain of white!

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It’s beautiful mornings like this one that add joy even to winter and we’ve been fortunate to have two of them this month! 

An “aha” moment

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LogoThis week I had an epiphany, a true “aha” moment.

Every time I’ve looked at my face in the mirror lately, especially without makeup, I’ve been unhappy with what I saw. My skin looks like parchment, the colour is uneven, and then there are those wrinkles, especially around my mouth! Thankfully, my glasses make the worry lines at the inner ends of my eyebrows less noticeable!

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I’ve never been one to worry about trying to look younger than I am and I’m not about to go the way of Dolly Parton who’s had so much plastic surgery that even she admits to looking artificial, but I really didn’t like what I was seeing.

Then I read Alyson Walsh’s blog post about 1980s model, Jeny Howorth, modelling again at age 56, and I looked at these photos of her.

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Photo: Liberty

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Photo: Sunday Times Style magazine

I looked more closely at her face and that’s when I had my “aha” moment!

There were the same wrinkles that I see on my own face, but when I looked at her I saw beauty and character!

Why are we women so hard on ourselves? Why do we dislike in ourselves what we barely notice in other women? Why do we fail to see in ourselves things that we appreciate in others?

I do take care of my skin. I use a cleanser at bedtime every evening and I moisturize both morning and night. I’m 68 years old and I’ve earned every scar and every wrinkle! From now on, when I look in the mirror I’m going to stop looking at flaws and remind myself that mine is simply a face with life written on it. I also need to remember that a smile goes a long way toward lighting up a face and minimizing lines around the mouth!

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DIY winter moisturizing masks

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LogoCold, dry winters here on the Canadian prairie are terribly harsh on skin. Awhile ago, my face was beginning to look and feel like parchment! My regular skin care routine simply wasn’t cutting it. I needed more moisture than my daytime lotion and night creme were providing. Being a frugal fashionista (and living where there isn’t a wide array of products to choose from) I looked no further than my kitchen for help!

That’s right! All you need for a do-it-yourself winter moisturizing mask is probably right there in your pantry.

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Unpasteurized honey has been used as a beauty treatment since ancient times, but what makes it such a great skincare ingredient? First of all, honey is a humectant, which means that it attracts and retains moisture. It also contains a number of vitamins and minerals, it’s a potent source of antioxidants, and it’s anti-bacterial.

Mediterranean women have also used olive oil as a moisturizer for centuries. Like honey, it’s loaded with nutrients, is a natural humectant, and is rich in antioxidants.

Cleopatra was renowned throughout history for her radiant skin and stunning beauty. Early records show that she added honey to her milk baths to keep her skin smooth and firm. Olive oil and honey facials were also part of her beauty regime. If these things were good enough for Cleopatra, I thought they must be worth a try!

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While either unpasteurized honey or extra virgin olive oil can be used alone, why not try one of these simple recipes for smoother, softer, well hydrated skin?

Exfoliating Mask

When I used this one, my face looked like a glazed doughnut, but it felt wonderful!

  • 1 tablespoon honey
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • a few drops of olive oil

Mix ingredients together and apply to clean, wet skin in a circular motion. Avoid eye area. Leave on for about 15 minutes. Rinse thoroughly with warm water and follow up with your favourite moisturizer.

Salt has been used as a healing agent for centuries. It tightens, preserves, and acts as an exfoliant, removing stubborn dead skin cells and allowing new and healthy skin to emerge, but be very gentle with this mask as it is quite abrasive.

Gentle Exfoliating Mask

  • 2 teaspoons honey
  • 1 teaspoon baking soda
  • a few drops of olive oil

Mix and use as above.

Moisturizing Mask

This one is my favourite! It’s so simple and soothing.

  • 1 to 1.5 teaspoons honey
  • 1 to 1.5 teaspoons olive oil

Mix ingredients. Apply to clean, damp skin. Leave on for 15 to 20 minutes then rinse thoroughly.

There are many more DIY recipes online that include other ingredients from your kitchen such as oatmeal, egg yolk, yogurt, and cinnamon but all you really need for an effective and inexpensive beauty treatment is olive oil and honey. You can use any of these masks weekly as needed. I used the Exfoliating Mask first and followed it with the Moisturizing Mask a week later. That was a couple of weeks ago and my skin is still thanking me!

Kintsugi… broken made beautiful

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“We have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.”   2 Corinthians 4:7

When I read this verse in my morning devotions today, my mind went in several different directions. It immediately brought to mind a couple of verses from the Old Testament book of Isaiah.

“You, Lord, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand.”   Isaiah 64:8

and

“Shall what is formed say to the one who formed it, ‘You did not make me’? Can the pot say to the potter, ‘You know nothing’”?   Isaiah 29:16

We are all vessels shaped by God’s hands for His purpose, not our own.

Next, my mind went to the value of a clay pot. Many are plain on the outside and made for ordinary everyday purposes. They might not look like they have much value, but from earliest times people the world over have survived in the harshest of circumstances because they had simple clay pots to carry life giving water. We ought to be like those jars carrying life to those around us.

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Finally, I was reminded of the centuries old Japanese art of kintsugi. or “golden joinery.” Life is hard and sometimes our jars of clay are chipped, cracked, or broken, but God is not only the potter; he is also the master of kintsugi!

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Kintsugi is a method of repairing broken pottery using lacquer mixed with gold, silver or platinum. Rather than trying to hide the brokenness, it becomes part of the beauty of the piece. The process often enhances the value of the item as each mended piece is completely unique.

In a similar manner, when we bring our brokenness to God, He doesn’t reject or discard us. Instead, where we see only ugliness, he sees potential and the possibility of creating something new and beautiful. He takes our broken pieces and carefully puts them back together so that even though the cracks and scars might still be visible, they become part of our beauty. Through His loving grace and mercy, he forgives our failures and heals our hurts. When His gold fills our cracks, we are made stronger and more beautiful and His power and glory are seen in us. We simply need to put our broken lives into the hands of the master of kintsugi and trust Him to put us back together!

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More of beautiful Bruges

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When we set out to explore Bruges after arriving yesterday afternoon, we had the Market Square (Markt) in mind as our goal, but like most of the European cities that we’ve visited, it isn’t laid out on a grid, and even with a tourist map in hand, we got completely turned around! That didn’t matter at all because every time you turn a corner in Bruges, there’s something beautiful to see. We simply wandered the narrow cobblestoned streets with names like Katelijnestaat, Zuidzandstraat, and Zoonekemeers and eventually ended up back at our hotel.

Today, we finally figured out the map and spent several hours strolling at a very leisurely pace. This time we had no problem finding Market Square which is dominated by the 13th century Belfry of Bruges tower. We have no doubt that the view from the top would be astounding, but we decided to forgo the 366 steps it would take to get there and limit our views to ground level.

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Its many canals add to the beauty and charm of Bruges and we walked along many of them today.

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This bend in the canal is known as the Quay of the Rosary (Rozenhoedkaai) and is apparently the most photographed spot in Bruges. Though I can’t deny that it’s lovely with the belfry tower in the background, I think some of the other scenes I’ve photographed rival it for beauty.

As one who loves reflections on water, this spot was one of my absolute favourites.

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A visit to Bruges would be incomplete without taking one of the half hour boat tours of the canals. In addition to seeing this magnificent city from a different angle, the captain’s commentary was informative and interesting.

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The weather has been absolutely lovely since we arrived here and we’ve had little desire to spend time indoors. I did want to spend a little while in the Church of Our Lady though to see Michelangelo’s magnificent marble carving, Madonna With Child. Created in about 1503, it was the only one of his works that left Italy during the artist’s lifetime when it was brought to Bruges by a wealthy merchant. It was stolen for the first time by the French occupiers in 1794, but later returned after the defeat of Napoleon. It was removed a second time by the Germans toward the end of World War II, but once again it found its way home to Bruges where it is highly treasured.

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Bruges is known for chocolate, beer (there are two local breweries), lace, and the swans that have graced the canals since the 15th century.

It’s not about age

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LogoI’d like to begin by thanking those of you who responded to last week’s Fashion Friday post either here or on Facebook. I posed the same question about the length of my hair on Jennifer Connolly’s A Well Styled Life Community Facebook page which has a much wider audience and almost 100 members responded! So far, #4 is the overwhelming favourite. In fact, more than half of all the responders chose that look.

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Though they didn’t all agree on which one made me look most youthful, I was surprised at how many women mentioned that as their reason for choosing one hair length over the others. Have we been so indoctrinated by our culture that we automatically equate youth with beauty without even realizing it? Have I?

I admit that I don’t want to look older than I really am. That’s why I don’t straighten my hair when it’s long. That really pulls me down and makes me look haggard while the curls do seem to give me a more youthful look.

I do embrace the age I am, however, wearing my 65 years bold t-shirt with pride. I have no desire to turn back the clock, though I do wish sometimes that I could slow it down! The years seem to be flying by at an ever increasing pace and I’d like to have more time to enjoy each one of them.

Neither do I have any great desire to erase the visible signs of aging. I decided many years ago not to colour my hair, but to age with grayce and I love this quotation from Queen Elizabeth II. “Don’t retouch my wrinkles in the photograph, I would not want it to be thought that I had lived for all these years without having anything to show for it.”

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