Age

Do we ever age out of fashion?

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I love the Baroness von Sketch clips that pop up on my Facebook News Feed from time to time. They’re irreverent and funny and touch on real life, everyday situations. If you haven’t seen this one, take three minutes to watch it and then we’ll talk about whether or not we ever age out of fashion.

If she’s aged out at 48, I’m in big trouble! I’m 20 years older than her! No, ladies, what we like might change and what looks good on us might be altered by time, but we’re never too old for style; never too old to look our best.  

Take Jane Fonda for example. She’s 83! Yes, she’s had cosmetic surgery and colours her hair, but look at how she’s dressed. She isn’t trying to look like a teenager, but she hasn’t given up on fashion either. She hasn’t aged out. 

Jane Fonda 83

I’m sure you can think of others. Diane Keaton, Helen Mirren, and British actress, Charlotte Rampling, all age 75, come to mind. You can probably think of older women you know whose style you admire. One thing that I suspect they all have in common is that they care about their appearance; they haven’t given up on themselves simply because there are more candles on their cake than there used to be. They wear what they like, what makes them feel good about themselves, and they don’t worry about following arbitrary “age appropriate” rules. 

Attitude not age

An “aha” moment

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LogoThis week I had an epiphany, a true “aha” moment.

Every time I’ve looked at my face in the mirror lately, especially without makeup, I’ve been unhappy with what I saw. My skin looks like parchment, the colour is uneven, and then there are those wrinkles, especially around my mouth! Thankfully, my glasses make the worry lines at the inner ends of my eyebrows less noticeable!

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I’ve never been one to worry about trying to look younger than I am and I’m not about to go the way of Dolly Parton who’s had so much plastic surgery that even she admits to looking artificial, but I really didn’t like what I was seeing.

Then I read Alyson Walsh’s blog post about 1980s model, Jeny Howorth, modelling again at age 56, and I looked at these photos of her.

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Photo: Liberty

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Photo: Sunday Times Style magazine

I looked more closely at her face and that’s when I had my “aha” moment!

There were the same wrinkles that I see on my own face, but when I looked at her I saw beauty and character!

Why are we women so hard on ourselves? Why do we dislike in ourselves what we barely notice in other women? Why do we fail to see in ourselves things that we appreciate in others?

I do take care of my skin. I use a cleanser at bedtime every evening and I moisturize both morning and night. I’m 68 years old and I’ve earned every scar and every wrinkle! From now on, when I look in the mirror I’m going to stop looking at flaws and remind myself that mine is simply a face with life written on it. I also need to remember that a smile goes a long way toward lighting up a face and minimizing lines around the mouth!

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Who do we dress for?

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LogoIn a comment thread on another fashion blog that I read recently, several women objected to the idea of dressing to work from home during the pandemic. They felt that they were just as productive in their sweats or pjs. One reader brought up an interesting question, however. “Who are we dressing for – ourselves or others?” she asked. “If we wear nice things outside the house, but not inside, do we do that to be complimented, to impress, to influence, or perhaps to display wealth?”

I think women, especially younger women, often dress to impress or attract men. I wish I could tell them not to bother! There’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to look attractive, but if a man is only interested in you for your looks, he’s not worth it!

More often, though they may not realize it or want to admit it, women dress to impress other women. Looking good in the eyes of other women often makes us feel better about ourselves.

To me, one of the best things about growing older has been reaching the point of not caring so much about what other people think. I choose to dress the same at home as I do to leave the house because I’m dressing for me. Wherever I am, I want to look like I matter, like I care about myself, and I want to have fun with how I dress. Of course, I also want to be comfortable and appropriately dressed for whatever I’m doing, so I’ll probably change if I’m going out to dig in the garden or wash the car!

I don’t suppose I’ll ever dress like Iris Apfel, but I definitely agree with her philosophy!

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Who do you dress for?

What’s my risk factor?

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Before I even begin this post, especially for those who haven’t been here before, let me emphasize that I have absolutely no medical training. I am simply a neuroendocrine cancer (NETS) patient seeking answers and doing the best I can to weather the very unusual days that we all find ourselves in.

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Does my cancer and the PRRT treatments that I’ve received mean that I’m at higher risk of contracting COVID-19 than the general population? Not as far as I know. The reality, as I understand it, is that no one has immunity to this virus. It’s a brand new disease that our bodies have never encountered before; never had an opportunity to develop antibodies to. That’s why I’m doing what I think everyone should be doing. I’m not hiding out in fear, but I’m hunkering down at home and only going out for necessities such as food and medications.

When we hear about those people who are most vulnerable to COVID-19, this refers to those who may be at higher risk for more serious complications IF they contract the disease. That’s why it’s so important for all of us to do our part in helping prevent these populations from getting the COVID-19 virus in the first place. Am I one of the vulnerable ones? Certainly, my age puts me at higher risk than those who are younger, but I haven’t been able to find any information regarding NETS and COVID-19. In reality, such information probably doesn’t exist. At least, not yet.

So, what are those risk factors? 

  • An older adult  –  Recent figures show that more than 50% of the patients who have been admitted to an ICU with the disease and 80% of those who have died were over the age of 65. At 67, I’m at the low end of that population, but still within the high risk category.
  • People who have serious underlying medical conditions such as:
    • Heart disease  –  Not me!
    • Diabetes  –  I have been diagnosed as pre diabetic, but maintaining a careful, well disciplined diet has kept my blood sugar well regulated, so I doubt that this would put me at high risk.
    • High blood pressure  –  Experts indicate that if a person’s blood pressure is under control and they don’t have other risk factors, they probably aren’t at any greater peril than the general population. I’ve been on hypertension medication for several years and it’s been keeping my blood pressure under control but, of course, I do have other risk factors.
    • Chronic respiratory diseases  –  No again!
    • Cancer  –  This one raises lots of questions for me. Cancer is such a broad category. The word actually refers to any of the 200 different diseases, affecting many parts of the body, that are characterized by the uncontrolled growth of cells that invade and damage the body’s normal tissues. Do all of them put a person at higher risk for COVID-19 complications? I doubt it, but what about the 3 completely unrelated cancers that I’ve been diagnosed with since August 2013? That’s right, 3! As I mentioned above, I haven’t been able to find any information about NETS and COVID-19, but what about my untreated thyroid cancer? At present, there has been no indication that thyroid conditions place a person at jeopardy.
  • People who have a compromised immune system from a medical condition or treatment (e.g. chemotherapy)  –  In spite of having or having had 3 different cancers over the past 6 1/2 years, I’ve never had chemotherapy, but I haven’t been able to find any information on how PRRT affects the immune system, so once again, I’m left with questions.

The immune system is the body’s natural defence system. Unfortunately, there isn’t a simple questionnaire that will tell you how strong yours is. There are, however, several signs that you might have a weakened immune system:

  • Stress  –  Stress decreases the body’s lymphocytes, the white blood cells that help fight off infection. Thankfully, my life is relatively free of stress these days. For the most part, I think I can say with the apostle Paul, “I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.”  Philippians 4:11b
  • Frequent colds or infections  –  I’ve had two colds this winter; one mild and one nasty. That’s more than I usually get, but I recovered from both in a reasonable length of time and I don’t remember the last time I’ve needed an antibiotic for an infection.
  • Frequent diarrhea or constipation  –  Diarrhea was one of the most obvious symptoms of my NETS cancer before it was diagnosed. Now medications tend to cause the opposite problem, but I can’t blame that on my immune system.
  • Wounds are slow to heal  –  I don’t think so. I haven’t had any serious wounds in recent years, but minor ones heal just fine.
  • Fatigue  –  When your immune system struggles, so does your energy level, but for the most part mine is good. My father passed away in the wee hours of March 1. I got almost no sleep that night and I definitely discovered that pulling an all-nighter in my 60s isn’t as easy as it was in my 20s! The week that followed was pretty exhausting too, but three weeks later, I’ve bounced back and feel completely rested. That seems to speak well of my immune system.

I do know, however, from regular blood tests, that my hemoglobin tends to be slightly on the low side which would make me somewhat vulnerable to infection and disease. On the other hand, I do all the right things to keep my immune system as healthy as I can. I don’t smoke, I eat a healthy diet, I maintain a healthy weight, I exercise regularly, I drink alcohol only in moderation, I get adequate sleep, I try to minimize stress, and I even wash my hands frequently!

So, what is my risk factor? I can only give a somewhat educated guess. Since I live in a sparsely populated area and I’m staying home most of the time, I’d say that my risk of getting COVID-19 is quite low. On the other hand, IF I do get it, my risk of suffering complications is probably moderately high.

Am I worried? No, but I’m definitely taking all the recommended precautions. I hope you are too!

How you see yourself

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LogoWe were on the way to the city to finish up our Christmas shopping earlier this week when the cell phone rang. It was the call we’d been waiting for for a month and a half. A space had finally been found for my very frail 96-year-old father to move into a long term care facility in Burnaby, the suburb of Vancouver that has been his home for over 30 years. He would be moving before the end of the week!

So here I am back on the road again today heading for the coast (wasn’t I just there?) to clean out the little assisted living apartment where Dad has spent the past six years and to make sure that he’s comfortably settled into his new surroundings.

There wasn’t time to write the fashion post that I had planned for today, so it will have to wait for another time. In the meantime, I’ll leave you with this thought.

How you see yourself

Will I wear them again?

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LogoThere are many different ways that I could go with today’s post…I could write about where I get fashion inspiration from, I could talk about age appropriateness, or I could add to last week’s topic about resurrecting old fashion favourites. I think I’ll do all three!

I follow several fashion bloggers who write specifically for women over the age of 50. I’ve learned a great deal from them and this is not the first time I’ve taken inspiration from Alyson Walsh, writer of the blog, That’s Not My Age, and author of Style Forever: The Grown-Up Guide to Looking Fabulous and Know Your Style: Mix It, Match It, Love It. I love Alyson’s creative, casual style. On her blog, she recently wrote a post entitled Am I too old for dungarees? That sent me back to the storage room to dig out another of my old favourites that had been hiding there for years!

In case you’re wondering, Alyson is British and dungarees are what we on the North American side of the Pacific call overalls. I’ve loved overalls since infancy when, according to my mother, I called them “weewalls”.

As I mentioned last week, I try to adhere to the wisdom of getting rid of clothing that I haven’t worn for the past year or two, but there are certain pieces that I just can’t part with. My khaki overalls are one such item.

So, here we are, Alyson and I in our dungarees/overalls.

I’m sure I’ve had this pair for at least 20 years, probably longer. The last time I remember wearing them was around the house after abdominal surgery in 2006 because they were the most comfortable thing I could find! I know that they’d already been residing in the storage room for quite some time by then. I’m happy to report that they’re still as comfortable as ever.

The title of Alyson’s blog post asked the question “Am I too old for dungarees?” and I completely agree when she replies, “I’m not too old.” I’m delighted to live in a time when we no longer feel the need to adhere to rigid fashion and age appropriate rules. As far as I’m concerned, as long as something is comfortable, fits well, makes you feel confident and isn’t beyond the bounds of decency, I say wear it with pride regardless of what age you are!

I was astonished, however, at some of the responses to Alyson’s post. Apparently, there are women don’t share my love of overalls! “It’s not that you’re too old. It’s just that they’re unflattering. Gardening only attire.” said one. “I will leave these to the young and construction types. I’m sorry but they look ridiculous on anyone over thirty, unless you are going out to work on your car or into your garden.” said another. A third woman wrote, “At the end of the day, it does look like a factory uniform.” Thankfully, there were also many positive and complementary comments.

So will I resurrect my overalls and begin wearing them again, or will I hang them back in the storage room? I’m not sure. I may have to think on that for awhile!

It’s not about age

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LogoI’d like to begin by thanking those of you who responded to last week’s Fashion Friday post either here or on Facebook. I posed the same question about the length of my hair on Jennifer Connolly’s A Well Styled Life Community Facebook page which has a much wider audience and almost 100 members responded! So far, #4 is the overwhelming favourite. In fact, more than half of all the responders chose that look.

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Though they didn’t all agree on which one made me look most youthful, I was surprised at how many women mentioned that as their reason for choosing one hair length over the others. Have we been so indoctrinated by our culture that we automatically equate youth with beauty without even realizing it? Have I?

I admit that I don’t want to look older than I really am. That’s why I don’t straighten my hair when it’s long. That really pulls me down and makes me look haggard while the curls do seem to give me a more youthful look.

I do embrace the age I am, however, wearing my 65 years bold t-shirt with pride. I have no desire to turn back the clock, though I do wish sometimes that I could slow it down! The years seem to be flying by at an ever increasing pace and I’d like to have more time to enjoy each one of them.

Neither do I have any great desire to erase the visible signs of aging. I decided many years ago not to colour my hair, but to age with grayce and I love this quotation from Queen Elizabeth II. “Don’t retouch my wrinkles in the photograph, I would not want it to be thought that I had lived for all these years without having anything to show for it.”

Attitude not age

 

A model who embraced her age

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LogoIt was with sadness that I learned yesterday of the death of 67 year old Cindy Joseph on July 12.

Ms. Joseph, began her career in the late 1970s working as a make-up artist for fashion and beauty photographers. In 1999, at the age of 49, on the very day that she cut off the last remaining bit of her coloured hair and fully embraced her gray, she was approached on the street by a casting agent and asked to model for a Dolce and Gabbana ad campaign. That ignited her modeling career with Ford Models Inc. In her 50s and 60s she modeled for companies like Olay, Elizabeth Arden, Anthropologie and Ann Taylor.

“I certainly didn’t fit the status quo of the modeling world,” Ms. Joseph told Yahoo Beauty in an interview last year. “I was 49 years old — I was under 5-foot-8, my hair was gray. Hello! I had crow’s feet!”

What she didn’t mention was the fact that she was stunning!

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Cindy Joseph on the front cover of Viv magazine – July 2007

Ms. Joseph encouraged women to embrace their age instead of trying to conceal it. She believed that fixating on youth was unhealthy and an ineffective beauty strategy contending that many cosmetic companies failed their wearers by trying to mask the signs of aging. In 2010, she launched BOOM! by Cindy Joseph, her own “pro-age” skin and cosmetics line consisting of natural moisturizers and easy to use multitasking “Boomsticks” that act as lipstick, blush, and eyeshadow.

Cindy Joseph died after a valiant battle with soft tissue sarcoma, a cancer that attacks the soft tissues of the body.

Cindy Joseph

Celebrating 95!

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Our main reason for choosing this particular time to come to Vancouver was the fact that my father was turning 95. Rather than all three of we Alberta siblings visiting at once to help Dad celebrate this momentous occasion, we determined some time ago that it works better if we space our visits out giving him company more often. Thus it fell upon me to make this birthday a special one, but I certainly didn’t do it on my own.

On Dad’s actual birthday last Tuesday we took him to his favourite restaurant for dinner. There were four generations at the table that evening. We told Dad that our son, Matt, would pick him up after work and bring him to the restaurant where we would meet them along with Matt’s wife, Robin, and their two boys. What we didn’t tell him was that Matt would be driving the Beatrice, the 1983 Volkswagen Westfalia van that my parents picked up at the factory in Germany, lived in in Europe for over a year, and that Dad drove until just a few years ago when his sight began to fail! It’s now one of Matt’s most prized possessions and the grin on Dad’s face as they pulled up to the restaurant was heartwarming.

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Dinner out, as nice as it was, wasn’t enough to mark reaching such an amazing milestone, however, so we hosted a birthday party at Matt and Robin’s home yesterday afternoon, managing to pull together a group of sixteen relatives, again representing four generations of Dad’s family. There were cousins and second cousins and cousins once removed, though I’ve never really figured out for sure what those terms mean! I just call them all cousins. There were relatives who hardly knew one another and spouses that some had never met. It was truly an enjoyable occasion and though I’m sure he was quite exhausted by the time the festivities were over, Dad was delighted to see everyone.

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Bold!

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As I mentioned in a previous post, I don’t care to be known as fierce, but what about BOLD? Oh yes, absolutely! You can definitely call me BOLD!

 

Brenda Kinsel

When I saw this photo of fellow fashion blogger, Brenda Kinsel, her t-shirt jumped out at me! It was love at first sight! In her post, Brenda wrote about a conversation that she had with Michelle, Director of Social Marketing and Brand Public Relations for Chico’s who got in touch with her to discuss how women see themselves and how they want to be seen. They talked about how Chico’s is attempting to use their brand to reach out, connect, and open the conversation about women and visibility and possibilities. Michelle asked Brenda if she would like to participate in a small way in the launch of their message and, of course, Brenda said yes. A couple of weeks later, a package arrived in her mail containing the t-shirt that she’s wearing in the photo. With it came a letter from Diane Ellis, the President of Chico’s. Brenda included this excerpt in her post.

These days, women can be almost anything. They can be curvy, curly, scientific, athletic, CEO’s, politicians, mothers, mechanics, and marines.

But there’s one thing women still can’t be:

49, or 52, or 65

WHY NOT?

Well- that’s what we wondered. After all, we are a company that celebrates women. Being bold is in our DNA. Our mission is to support women with fabulous style in all that they do. So why were we hesitate to say our age out loud?

It’s time for that to change.

It’s time to GROW BOLDER.

By wearing this t-shirt with pride and sharing it on social media using #HowBoldAreYouit will inspire women everywhere to embrace their own unique personal style no matter their age. Yeah, it’s great to be 20, but it’s also great to be 52 and 43 and 61.

Let’s decide together that we’re not growing older, we’re growing bolder. And let’s shout it from the rooftops.

Later in her post, Brenda had this to say about herself.

I’m proud to be 65. At 65 I’m not worrying as much about what other people think. Is that bold? Yup, probably!

I’m 65 and brave. I’ve had to be. I’ve had challenges that pushed me to the ground but I’m not staying there for long. I’ll get upright and look at my scuffed up knees with confidence that those hurts will heal and I’ll be here for tomorrow’s rich experiences.

That truly resonated with me!

At the end of her post, Brenda asked, “Can you relate? Is it a stretch to say you’re feeling bold?” Here is my response.

I LOVE this post and I NEED that t-shirt! On my last birthday, I threw myself a “still alive at 65 party” because I’ve been living with a chronic cancer for the past four and a half years. I know that it could take my life at any time and that every day is a gift, but I’m determined to squeeze every bit of life out of the days, months, or years that I have left! Yes, I am BOLD!

That was rather bold, wasn’t it? Perhaps even a wee bit brash. I wasn’t really asking for Brenda’s t-shirt though, just exclaiming over how perfect it was and how it’s message suits me to a T (pun intended)! So imagine my astonishment when Brenda responded…

Elaine, guess what came in the mail today: a duplicate 65 t-shirt. Email me your address and I will send it to you. I relate quite personally to what you’ve shared. Gosh, you must have this t-shirt. I mean it, email me!

I could hardly believe my eyes!

When the t-shirt arrived, it was a bit too big. Brenda had warned me that it might be, but a little while at my sewing machine was all it took to alter it so that it would fit.

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So what does it mean to be bold?

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I think I’d draw the line at daredevil, but I hope that the rest of the adjectives under definition #1 are ones that could be applied to me. That wasn’t always the case. As a child, I was incredibly timid, but like Brenda, the challenges of life knocked me down and I had a choice… be broken or be bold. I choose bold!

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Message t-shirts are on trend again this season and I’ll definitely be wearing this one with pride. If you’re between the ages of 40 and 80, you can wear one too. Order here.

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What about you? Are you bold?