Who do we dress for?

/ edebock / 5 Comments

LogoIn a comment thread on another fashion blog that I read recently, several women objected to the idea of dressing to work from home during the pandemic. They felt that they were just as productive in their sweats or pjs. One reader brought up an interesting question, however. “Who are we dressing for – ourselves or others?” she asked. “If we wear nice things outside the house, but not inside, do we do that to be complimented, to impress, to influence, or perhaps to display wealth?”

I think women, especially younger women, often dress to impress or attract men. I wish I could tell them not to bother! There’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to look attractive, but if a man is only interested in you for your looks, he’s not worth it!

More often, though they may not realize it or want to admit it, women dress to impress other women. Looking good in the eyes of other women often makes us feel better about ourselves.

To me, one of the best things about growing older has been reaching the point of not caring so much about what other people think. I choose to dress the same at home as I do to leave the house because I’m dressing for me. Wherever I am, I want to look like I matter, like I care about myself, and I want to have fun with how I dress. Of course, I also want to be comfortable and appropriately dressed for whatever I’m doing, so I’ll probably change if I’m going out to dig in the garden or wash the car!

I don’t suppose I’ll ever dress like Iris Apfel, but I definitely agree with her philosophy!

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Who do you dress for?

100 pounds!

/ edebock / 10 Comments

I started lifting weights in the early 1990s. It was never my intention to become a body builder, but I had recently entered my 40s and I thought that it might be a good idea to do something to try to keep in shape. We already had the equipment in the basement and hubby, who was a phys ed teacher at the time, had been lifting for several years, so I had him set up a routine for me and my lifting days began. I would never have foreseen that I’d still be lifting all these years later!

Unlike many serious lifters who work out year round, we only lift from mid October until the end of April each year; the months that the golf course is closed. We have a short summer season here in Alberta and we want to spend as much of it as possible engaging in outdoor pursuits, not working out in the basement! Over the almost three decades that I’ve been lifting, I’ve had good seasons, bad seasons, and  even one when I didn’t lift at all. We spent that year teaching English in Japan and rather than seeking out a gym to join, we spent as much time as we could seeing the country and soaking up the culture. There were also a couple of partial seasons including the winter that we headed off to China to spend a semester teaching there.

My best year to date was the winter of 2005-2006. I was 53 years old and many years pre cancer. At the end of that season, I was bench pressing 97.5 pounds. Why I never pushed myself to add just 2.5 more pounds and press 100, I’ll never know! I suspect that the golf course opened and I probably thought that I’d be able to push that little bit further the following year. In ensuing years, however, I never made it past 90 pounds again. That is until this year!

Each of the past few years, I had a midwinter PRRT treatment that set me back strength-wise, but I kept on pushing myself and refused to quit completely. Am I ever glad I did! I guess I didn’t realize how much those treatments were actually taking out of me, but I haven’t had one since last June and I cannot believe how strong I’ve felt this year. Today I did something that I gave up hope of ever doing a long time ago. I bench pressed 100 pounds! That might not seem like a lot to many more serious lifters, but to me, at 67 years old with two cancers, it was huge!

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It was back in February that I first caught a glimpse of potentially reaching a new personal best. It was definitely on a distant horizon, but barring injury or sickness, it might just be possible. It was very shortly after that thought crossed my mind, however, that we got the call telling us that my father was dying. We had to drop everything and head for Vancouver. With that interruption, I thought the possibility was gone, but when we got home, I picked up where I’d left off and soon realized that it might still happen. I’ve continued lifting later into the spring than I normally do partially because, with the Covid-19 shutdown, there wasn’t a lot else to do, but mostly because I was so close to reaching my goal and I simply couldn’t let it slip through my fingers this time.

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Definitely feeling pretty proud of myself!

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What is freedom?

/ edebock / 3 Comments

As the restrictions imposed by Covid-19 drag on, I’m seeing more and more on social media from people who are convinced that this is all a nefarious plot to permanently rob us of our rights and freedoms. These are people who, like me, have lived privileged lives; people who have no idea what true lack of freedom looks or feels like.

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photo: The Guardian

In 1991, when the Soviet Union collapsed and the iron curtain ceased to exist, Eastern Europeans jubilantly celebrated the freedom that they had long been denied. Sadly, however, some of the first “freedoms” to be exercised in these formerly communist countries were indulgence in pornography, prostitution, drugs, and organized crime. So what is freedom? According to many, it seems to be the right to do whatever I want, whenever I want, to whomever I want. How incredibly self-indulgent!

Freedom means many things to many people. It may mean having the opportunity to vote for the ideas, people, or parties that best represent our views. It may mean being able to freely express our ideas and opinions without fear of reprisal. To some it may mean being free of debt and having the financial wherewithal to buy whatever they want. To others it may simply mean being able to live without constant fear of violence or persecution.

Is being told to social distance or to wear a mask to enter certain businesses really robbing anyone of these rights and freedoms? Are temporary school closures and having to worship online instead of in person really endangering society as we know it? I hardly think so!

During the current pandemic, those of us who are willing to temporarily give up some of our freedoms for the good of the community and who dare to suggest that others ought to do the same run the risk of being labelled socialist. That’s an insult that’s commonly hurled about by those who fear that their freedoms are being forever taken from them. I pay it little mind, however, as they clearly aren’t political scientists!

The Bible has a lot to say about freedom. In fact, it’s one of the central themes of the entire Word. John 8:32 tells us that “the truth will set you free” and later, in John 14:6, Jesus says, “I am the way and the truth and the life.” True freedom is found in relationship with Him.

This freedom is both freedom from and freedom to. Freedom from the things of this world that enslave us: earthly desires for wealth, success, and status; jealousy and envy; lust and perversion; rivalry and hatred. Freedom to be everything that we were designed to be, to do what we were made to do, and to serve God by serving others. Galatians 5:13-14 sums it up this way, “You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love. For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: ‘Love your neighbour as yourself.'”

So how does this apply to Covid-19? Like true Biblical freedom, our political and social freedoms are also responsibilities. They don’t exist so that we can do whatever we want, whenever we want, to whomever we want. They exist for the good of the whole. Freedom provides opportunity and reason to serve whether by delivering groceries to doorsteps, making phone calls to ensure that neighbours and friends are faring well, sewing masks, or simply practicing social distancing and keeping our school and church doors closed until the threat of spreading the virus has lessened.

I don’t hide behind rose coloured glasses nor do I blindly believe that everything that our political leaders do is for our good, but I also don’t believe that Covid-19 is an evil plot to permanently rob us of our rights and freedoms!

National Post

photo: National Post

At least these ones are social distancing!

 

Inspired again

/ edebock / 8 Comments

LogoTwo weeks ago, I showed you an easy jean outfit that was inspired by Brenda Kinsel, one of my favourite fashion bloggers. This week, Susan Street featured an outfit on her blog, Susanafter60.com, that immediately caught my attention because I knew that  I had similar pieces in my closet that I’d never worn together.

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Since spring has finally arrived here on the Canadian prairie, I did my seasonal wardrobe switch last week putting my winter clothes into storage and bringing out warm weather wear. As a result, my DIY white frayed hem jeans are back in rotation and were ready to become part of my Susan inspired outfit. The black and white striped tee and little black jacket, both from Montreal based Reitmans, stay in my closet year round.

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After deciding that I quite liked the look, I switched out the white jeans for the bright red ones that I found at our local thrift store two or three years ago and the grey flats for the brand new white sneakers that I showed you last week. And voila! Another outfit that I look forward to wearing when we finally have somewhere to go!

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Obstacle or opportunity?

/ edebock / 5 Comments

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Before the onset of Covid-19, we had planned on leaving on a spring vacation this week. We were going to walk the historic streets of Boston, explore some family history, see the sights of New York City, and visit friends who live in the area. Instead, we continue to shelter at home waiting for our province to gradually begin lifting some of the restrictions that have been put in place to protect us and to keep our health care system from being overwhelmed. There’s absolutely no question that for most people on the planet, the Covid-19 pandemic has been an obstacle to living life as we knew it before the middle of March, but has it also been an opportunity?

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“Even in the darkest experiences we can uncover creative options.” wrote Samuel R. Chand in Leadership Pain: The Classroom for Growth.

On March 18, the day after Alberta declared a state of emergency and started shutting down non essential services, I wrote that I didn’t want to look back on this as time wasted. That was seven weeks ago. Rather than lamenting over a vacation lost and other obstacles to normal living, I’d rather look at opportunities seized. I truly believe that a positive attitude is vital to maintaining good health and overall well-being. That’s proven to be true throughout my journey with cancer and I think it’s just as true in present circumstances.

So how have I been using the unexpected extra time that I’ve been given by the pandemic shutdown? Here are a few of the ways…

  • Cleaned and reorganized the kitchen cabinets and set aside a number of items to take to our local thrift store when it reopens.
  • When I could no longer find the mixes that I’ve been buying for years on the grocery store shelves, I reverted to making my own pancake mix and baking biscuits from scratch. I doubt that I’ll ever go back.
  • Experimented with adapting a bread recipe until it turned out just the way I wanted.
  • Read several books.
  • Wrote more than usual including 11 blog posts in April as opposed to the 6 or 7 that I usually post.
  • Used Duolingo to study Spanish every day learning more than 1000 words so far.
  • Enjoyed several Zoom chats with family and friends.
  • Walked over 80 km (50 miles) partially on the treadmill, but mostly outdoors.
  • Found 7 geocaches.
  • Played a lot of 7 Wonders Duel.
  • Completed some yard work that wouldn’t have gotten done if I’d been busy planning and packing for a trip.

Does all this mean that I’m happy to have been essentially shut in for the past seven weeks? Does feeling positive about how I’ve been using my time mean that I’m oblivious to the effects that this period of time has had on the economy, on businesses, on the lives of others? Of course not, but neither have I been anxiously straining at the bit for it to come to an end. I’m happy that the health authorities in our province feel that we’ve reached a point where we can cautiously and carefully begin reopening, but I also realize that it will be some time before things are back to “normal”. I sincerely hope that we’ll be able to reschedule our trip someday, but I know that it won’t be for quite awhile.

So, how have you been coping during these most unusual days? Have you been focusing on obstacles or looking for opportunities?

They wanted to be mine!

/ edebock / 13 Comments

LogoNever would I have imagined that a virus like Covid-19 would help me meet my fashion goals for 2020, but one of those goals stated that “I will strive to buy less and experiment with new ways to wear what I already have” and that is most certainly what has been happening! Unlike many women, I don’t like shopping for clothes online. I like to touch and feel the fabric, look at the workmanship, and try things on before I buy. Consequently, until this week, it had been over two months since I last bought a fashion item of any kind.

The last time we were out and about before we started sheltering in place, my husband wanted to check out a sale on men’s jeans at a Mark’s. Originally called Mark’s Work Wearhouse, Mark’s is a popular Canadian workwear and casual clothing retailer. Knowing that it would take hubby awhile to try on jeans and decide what to buy, I headed for the women’s section to browse. There, I spotted a pair of shoes that were part of a display and I immediately heard them called my name!

It was the quilted side panels and the little bit of bling that caught my eye and it was definitely love at first sight!

Changing direction, I made my way to the shoe department to try them on. They had my size. They fit perfectly. I walked around the store and they were comfortable, but then I reminded myself that I really didn’t need another pair of sneakers. Feeling quite virtuous, I bid them a fond farewell and left the store without them.

A few days later, a Mark’s flyer arrived in the mail and there were the shoes in a photograph on the very front page! I eagerly poured through the pages only to discover that they weren’t actually included in the sale. I even looked them up online to be sure. That was, perhaps, my fatal error! We all know what happens once you look something up on the internet. Every time I went online, there were those shoes calling out to me from side panels and advertising banners. They simply wouldn’t leave me alone! Scrolling on Facebook? There were the shoes. Reading the news? Those shoes again! Checking blogs? You guessed it. The shoes were there too! I couldn’t escape them. They really wanted to be mine, but I continued to resist. I didn’t need more sneakers.

Screen Shot 2020-04-29 at 2.32.40 PMThen one day it happened. They were there again, but this time, this is what I saw! Believe it or not, I continued to resist. I mentioned the shoes that wouldn’t leave me alone to hubby and he told me that I ought to order them. Finally, after days of arguing with myself and reminding myself that I really didn’t need another pair of sneakers, the shoes won out and I placed the order!

I was very impressed with the service I received. Not only has Mark’s done away with shipping fees for the duration of the pandemic store closures, but I ordered on Friday evening and the shoes were delivered to my door in a small rural community on Tuesday morning! On the other hand, I was less than impressed to discover that the price of the shoes has dropped even more in the few days since I bought them! Oh well, they really wanted to be mine and now they are! I’m sure we’ll enjoy a long and happy relationship!

Inspiration for an easy jean outfit

/ edebock / 3 Comments

LogoAs you no doubt know by now, I read several fashion bloggers for “women of a certain age” on a regular basis. I’ve posted links to their blogs here. Every now and then, one of them posts an outfit that inspires me to try to create something similar from what I have in my own closet. I like to think of this as being inspired rather than copying!

This is exactly what happened about a week ago when Brenda Kinsel published a post entitled Easiest jean outfit recipe for the COVID season and beyond.

Brenda Kinsel

The key ingredient in her outfit is her beautiful Dressori kimono jacket. I don’t have anything like that in my closet, but its denim colour brought to mind something that I do have, my cabi waterfront shirt from several seasons ago.

Though it can be worn as a button-up shirt, I much prefer to wear it open over another top.

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Here I’m wearing it with a pair of medium wash Gap jeans and a plain white t-shirt from Uniqlo. While Brenda fashioned her outfit to meet a friend for coffee at an award winning hotel and spa, mine is much more a relax at home during the COVID-19 pandemic sort of outfit. Even at home, however, I like to finish my outfits with appropriate accessories.

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I tried a long necklace first, but it didn’t play well with the ties on the waterfront shirt, so I decided to wear my black pearl heritage necklace from cabi instead. I added some simple silver earrings and my Nordgreen watch with its navy leather band. Since I was staying home, I also wore the SoftMoc slippers that I featured in last Friday’s post.

After reading that post, one of my friends told me that she thought I should get a commission because she decided to order a pair. Many fashion bloggers actually do monetize their blogs by advertising for various brands and receiving a small commission when one of their readers places an order. Some also receive free product in return for featuring it on their blog. Though the idea of free clothing does have appeal, I consciously decided not to try to go this route with my blog. When I mention a brand, such as cabi, Nordgreen, or SoftMoc, there’s nothing in it for me. I blog simply because I love writing and I love the connection that it gives me with you, my readers. Monetizing would make it feel like a job and possibly take some of the fun out of it. If I wanted to go that route, I suspect that I might also have to start a second completely separate blog so that I could continue to share opinion pieces that might not meet the approval of companies I chose to be affiliated with.

Essential or non-essential?

/ edebock / 6 Comments

As the Covid-19 shutdown continues and spring finally comes to Alberta, I’m hearing more and more discussion about essential versus non-essential services particularly amongst my fellow golfers. I have a great deal of respect for Alberta’s Chief Medical Officer, Dr Deena Hinshaw, but there are many who are taking strong exception to her declaration that golf courses are non-essential and must remain closed. This has been made worse by the fact that courses in our neighbouring province of British Columbia are open.

I love golfing and I eagerly await the opening of our local course each spring, but I would have a difficult time arguing that it’s an essential service. On the other hand, it definitely contributes to physical and mental well-being and it’s an activity that could quite easily be done while still maintaining appropriate social distancing. Adaptations could be put in place to ensure that golfers are not touching surfaces such as flag sticks.

One of the greatest sources of frustration for many people is the inconsistency in what is being deemed essential and what is not. For me, the most obvious example is cannabis shops. How is it that a substance that was illegal less than two years ago is now essential? Grocery stores, yes. Pharmacies, of course. But, cannabis stores? I don’t think so! In fact, I was even a bit surprised to see liquor stores remain open.

I realize that there are those who use cannabis medicinally, but like any other prescribed medication, they were able to access it legally long before it became available to the rest of us in October 2018. There’s no reason why it can’t still be accessible to patients who need it during the pandemic without the shops that cater to recreational use being open.

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There would definitely be a lot less grumbling about following current public health orders if they were consistent. Golf or cannabis? Why one but not the other?

One day at a time

/ edebock / 4 Comments

I’ve been pondering why it is that I don’t seem to be as stressed out by the Covid-19 shutdown as many people around me are. First of all, I acknowledge, as I have before, that I have it easier than many. As a retiree, I don’t have a business to close, a job to lose, or children at home. Trusting in a God who makes manna also makes all the difference in the world, but I believe that there’s another factor as well.

For most of my life I was a long term planner to such an extent that I tended to live more in the future than the present. When I retired a little over a decade ago, one of my primary goals was to learn to live more in the moment. I didn’t anticipate that cancer would be what it took to teach me that, but when we’re not guaranteed a future (none of us really is), we start to look at life quite differently and each day becomes a gift. What I’ve discovered about myself during this unusual time is that I truly have met my goal! While people all around me are worrying and making dire predictions about how long this is going to last, I’m finding myself quite unbothered by that aspect of it. I’ve learned to inhabit one square on the calendar at a time and I’m not giving a lot of thought to what the future will bring. It’s very much a “que sera, sera” attitude, but it seems to be serving me well!

I’m sad that I won’t be able to celebrate with two grandchildren who have birthdays in the next couple of weeks and that the trip we were planning for next month had to be put on hold. I’m also hoping that we won’t have to miss a whole season of camping and golf, but mostly I’m just living one day at a time and not worrying about what next week or next month might hold.

An old Merle Haggard song keeps running through my head:

One day at a time, sweet Jesus, that’s all I’m asking from you.
Give me the strength to do everyday what I have to do.
Yesterday’s gone, sweet Jesus, and tomorrow may never be mine,
So for my sake teach me to take one day at a time.

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In closing, I want to be absolutely clear that I’m not suggesting that everyone should be experiencing this time of uncertainty in the same way that I am. Of course, I’m deeply concerned for those who are living in fear and for whom the outcome might be quite devastating. I’m simply enjoying the fact that I’ve met my goal and learned to live in the present moment.

Stay home, stay safe and I hope that you can find some joy in this day!

The power of the written word

/ edebock / 8 Comments

The Bible has a lot to say about how we ought to use our words. The book of Proverbs is full of wise sayings about the power of the tongue.

The one who has knowledge uses words with restraint, and whoever has understanding is even-tempered. Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongues.  Proverbs 17:27-28
The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.  Proverbs 12:18

feather-pen-vector-546939It was English novelist and playwright Edward Bulwer-Lytton who, in 1839, wrote “The pen is mightier than the sword.”

Today, when most of us are holed up at home waiting out the Covid-19 pandemic, the written word is being used more than ever. We FaceTime and we Zoom, but we also use written platforms like Facebook and Twitter to connect with one another.

For some of us, writing is our preferred method of communication. We find it easy, but others may struggle to express themselves clearly. Without the visual and auditory clues that go along with face-to-face communication, misunderstandings can happen very easily. We definitely need to cut one another a bit of slack.

For example, a friend recently responded to something that I said on Facebook with a comment that could easily have been taken in two completely different ways. I had no way of knowing whether it was written in jest or meant to be extremely hurtful. If we had been talking face-to-face, I would have been able to tell based on her body language, facial expression, volume, and/or tone of voice. To tell you the truth, I still don’t know what her actual intent was, but because I know her and I don’t think of her as a mean person, I gave her the benefit of the doubt and assumed that, even if it fell a bit flat, her response was meant to be funny. Had I concluded that she was being nasty and responded in kind, I could have easily destroyed a relationship!

I love a good online conversation where people can express their views, have them heard, and willingly listen to the views of others. Unfortunately, however, what could have been a meaningful dialogue often becomes nothing more than a battle of words. Why is that? What can we do to prevent hurt feelings and misunderstandings? I have a few suggestions. If you have others, please add them to the comment section below.

  1. If you disagree with something that someone else has written, don’t react immediately. Take time to think about it first. Is there any truth in what they’ve written? Did they actually mean what you thought they meant? If you’re not sure, ask for clarification instead of immediately going on the defensive.
  2. Avoid getting sucked into arguments. Sadly, some people are willing to go toe-to-toe online in ways they’d never dream of doing face-to-face.
  3. Understand that your sense of humour isn’t universal and that, without cues like facial expressions and tone of voice, what is intended to be funny might not come across that way.
  4. Don’t comment on someone’s spelling or grammar. Sometimes the English teacher in me wants to take a red pen to the screen, but this is just plain rude! It’s also a tactic that’s often used by commenters who simply want to belittle someone they disagree with.
  5. Edit your responses before you post them. (There’s that English teacher again!) Read over what you’ve written. Does it actually say what you want it to say? Is it clear or could it be open to more than one interpretation?
  6. Distinguish between fact and opinion. Just as we should all know the difference between a news article and an editorial, we need to be clear when we’re the writer. If you’re declaring something to be a fact, be prepared to back it up. If it’s opinion, say so and remember that everyone is entitled to have one even if it’s different from yours. What a boring world it would be if we all agreed on everything!
  7. Remember, posting online is the same as speaking in public. If you don’t want something to come back and bite you, don’t say it online!
  8. Don’t be that person who always has to have the last word.
  9. Don’t drink and tweet! If you’re impaired in any way, whether it be from lack of sleep, a fight with your partner, or one too many drinks, you run the risk of saying something that you’ll regret. Resist the urge and wait until you’re in a better frame of mind.