Shopping for a dress, a cautionary tale

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LogoWhen we received a wedding invitation this week I immediately decided that I would be shopping for a new dress. It’s been absolutely ages since I’ve bought one or had a good reason to. The wedding isn’t until next spring so I have plenty of time to find the right one, but just for fun, I decided to do a quick search of a few of my favourite fashion retailers to see what was out there. 

At this point, I don’t have a specific style, colour, or fabric in mind. All I know for sure is that the dress needs to be suitable for a wedding, I want to feel fabulous in it, and I want to be able to wear it for other occasions in the future. In my initial search, I only found two that stood out to me, both from Laura Canada. 

Glitter Capelet Midi Dress

Wrap-Style Shimmering Dress

As I said, I wasn’t looking for a particular colour, but it’s obvious that Marine, as Laura calls the dark navy, appeals to me! I wonder though, is it too dark for a spring wedding? It does have the advantage of also being suitable for winter occasions. 

Of course, as soon as I started looking at dresses online, ads began showing up everywhere… on my Facebook feed and even when I was trying to read the news. Right now, while I’m just browsing and considering what I might want to buy, that’s not a bad thing as it gives me lots of possibilities to think about. 

I actually fell in love with the look of this one that popped up almost immediately. 

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If I was an impulsive shopper, I might have ordered it, but I’m not and I won’t. The seller was one I’d never heard of and the website was pretty sketchy looking which is why I’m not sharing a link with you. There were just too many red flags. 

  • prices that were too good to be true
  • “sale ends today” pressure to buy immediately
  • lack of information about the company
  • lack of a phone number, physical address, or live chat option
  • no independent reviews of the company or their products
  • lack of detailed information about the product such as what kind of fabric the dress is made of

If that wasn’t enough, I knew that something was very wrong when the identical picture showed up the next day on a similar looking website with an entirely different name! The internet is definitely buyer beware territory and when I do buy my dress, it will probably be in person. 

Book of the month – July 2024

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Crossing Oceans

Gina Holmes

9781414333052At the outset, Gina Holmes’ Crossing Oceans reminded me of a sappy Christmas movie. You know the ones… after several years away, beautiful young woman returns to her quaint mid American hometown where she encounters sweet, kindhearted, and inexplicably single man from her past who sweeps her off her feet and solves all her problems.

I was okay with that. Having just finished reading the memoir of an esteemed Chinese professor who lived through the horrors of the Cultural Revolution, I was ready for some fluff; some light summer reading.  

Crossing Oceans surprised me. First of all, I didn’t realize that it was a Christian novel. Had I known that, I might not have picked it up. As strange as it might sound, considering the fact that I’m a committed follower of Christ, I read very few Christian novels. Although there are exceptions, too many of them are unrealistic, happy ever after romances somewhat on par with those mushy Christmas movies. While the main characters in Holmes’ novel are professing Christians, it isn’t preachy. They are far from perfect, and their problems aren’t swept away because they believe in God. 

When Jenny Lucas left home, single and pregnant, she promised herself that she’d never look back. Six years later, knowing that she’s dying of cancer, Jenny returns to the sleepy North Carolina town where she grew up to decide who will raise her little girl when she is gone. Will it be her father with whom she has had a difficult relationship since the death of her own mother when she was a teen? Or will she choose Isabella’s dad who doesn’t even know that he has a daughter? Animosity between the two families adds to her dilemma. Can they put aside their differences and help both Jenny and Isabella face what lies ahead? 

This is a sad story, but not a depressing one. It’s a poignant story of love and loss, but also forgiveness and healing. Jenny faces her situation with determination, courage, stoicism, and even a sense of humour. As I neared the end, I couldn’t help wondering how the story could possibly end in a satisfying manner, but without giving anything away, I’ll simply tell you that I wasn’t disappointed.

The notebook

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No, I’m not talking about Nicholas Sparks’ debut novel or the award winning movie adaptation. I’m talking about an actual notebook.

Some of the very best advice that I received in the early days following my first cancer diagnosis almost eleven years ago was given to me by a medical technician administering an unrelated bone density test. “Get yourself a notebook,” she told me. “One of those ones with several sections where you can keep track of different things. Take it to your appointments with you and write things down.” It sounded like good advice, so as soon as I left the clinic I headed over to Walmart and found exactly what I needed, a Five Star 5-subject notebook.

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There’s a section where I record tests, procedures, and treatments; another one for consultations; and one where I keep a record of the injections that I receive every 28 days… when, where, who administered it, and any reaction that I might have. There’s also a section where I record some of my test results. I have access to those online at MyAHS Connect, but there are a couple of tests that are done regularly that I like to keep a written record of so that I can easily note trends. Finally, there’s a section where I write down questions to ask at my next appointment. More than one of my doctors has commented that they wish more of their patients would do that.

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Not only is my notebook separated into sections, but each divider has a pocket front and back. Those have been great for storing business cards, handouts, consent forms, vaccination records, a family medical history, and my personal directive. One pocket also holds two very important lists; my current medication list and a list of my past surgeries, all fourteen of them. Unless you spend a lot of time seeing doctors, you probably have no idea how often I’ve needed those two lists; how many times I’ve been handed a clipboard and asked to fill out forms that require me to list all my medications and past surgeries. Without those lists, I’d be stumped. What year did I have my gall bladder out? What’s the name of that blood pressure med and what dose do I take? With my notebook in hand, all that information is at my fingertips.

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Thankfully, the notebook has a strong plastic cover and a stiff cardboard back. Without those, I doubt that it would have lasted all these years. After all, I’m sure it’s been to at least 150 appointments with me!

If you or anyone you know is ever diagnosed with a serious or chronic health condition, I’d definitely recommend getting a notebook. It really has made my journey easier.

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Live with it and love it

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My baby turned 40 this week. In fact, because my “Irish twins” are less than a year apart in age, his sister is also 40! And they’re my youngest! Is it any wonder that I’ve been thinking about age this week? Either I’m getting old or they’re catching up to me!

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In reality, I’m not bothered by my age. Surprised maybe. Time seems to have gone by so quickly. But bothered? No.

For as long as I can remember, advertising has been hoodwinking women into believing that we lose value as we age; that our goal in life should be to hang on to youth or the appearance of youth for as long as we can. Hogwash! I like what Helen Mirren, who celebrated her 79th birthday this week, had to say about age. “At every age, you lose some things but you gain other things. That’s the kind of magic that happens, so deal with it. You either die young, or you get old. Enjoy the ride!” In this short video she says her age has always been an asset and her advice is to all of us is to “live with it and love it.”

While I’m happy to be the age that I am, especially considering the fact that when I was first diagnosed with cancer I had no expectation that I would live this long, that doesn’t mean that I want to look old. I just don’t want to waste my time and energy trying to look young when I’m not. I simply want to be my authentic self, a woman in her 70s who loves life and hasn’t given up on herself. I’m sure that many of you can identify with that. 

So how do we accomplish this? Thinking about what you want your appearance to say about you and choosing 3 to 5 adjectives to describe your personal style can be very helpful in building a look that conveys the right message. You can read about how I arrived at my 5 style adjectives here. 

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What I wear during a heat wave

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logo-by-samHere in Alberta, we’re enjoying (enduring?) a stretch of unusually hot weather. Midday temperatures are hitting the low to mid 30s C (mid 80s to mid 90s F). I know that this might not seem overly hot to many of you, but for those of us who live in an area that is described as having a cool, continental climate, this is hot! The heat warning issued by Environment Canada calls this a “prolonged heat event” and suggests that “very high temperature conditions are expected to pose an elevated risk of heat illnesses, such as heat stroke or heat exhaustion.”

Personally, you won’t hear me complaining about the heat. I often feel cold when everyone around me is warm, so I don’t mind a bit of heat for a change. Golfing this afternoon with barely a breeze moving the flags on the course was just about enough for me though! So how do I dress during a heat wave?

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A lot of women my age (I’m 71) aren’t comfortable wearing shorts and/or sleeveless tops, but when it’s hot, you’ll find me wearing both. Light colours reflect the heat and loose fitting tops are more comfortable than something form-fitting or clingy. Although the top I’m wearing in the photos is a made of a polyester blend, a breathable, lightweight fabric such as linen or cotton would be an even better choice.

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A wide-brimmed hat and sandals complete my outdoor wear. I exchange the hat for a ball cap when I’m golfing, hiking, or kayaking.

You’ll notice that, except for a simple pair of earrings, I’m not wearing any accessories. When it’s really hot, I don’t want anything extra against my skin. If you looked really close, you’d also see that I’m makeup free. When it comes to cosmetics, I’m a minimalist at the best of times, but when it’s hot, I prefer not to wear any at all. Of course, If I was going to an event, especially an indoor event that required a higher level of dress, I would probably add a necklace and/or bracelet and some makeup.

Finally, for outdoor wear, regardless of the event or activity, there’s one item that is absolutely essential… sunscreen! The dermatologist I saw recently recommends a minimum of SPF 30, but I always wear one with SPF 50+.

The Trans Canada Trail

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The Trans Canada Trail isn’t a single trail. It’s the world’s longest multi-use trail network consisting of greenways, waterways, and roadways stretching across Canada from the Pacific to the Arctic and the Atlantic oceans. It crosses every province and territory and connects more that 15 000 communities.

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Last week, while camping at Hilliard’s Bay Provincial Park on Alberta’s Lesser Slave Lake, we had the opportunity to hike a couple of short portions of the trail that follows the north shore of the lake.

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It was while we were hiking there that I reached the 150 km point on my 150 day walking challenge. I’m halfway to my goal well ahead of schedule!

In the summer of 2021 , award-winning Canadian filmmaker, photographer, author and multimedia artist Dianne Whelan, became the first person to complete the entire Trans Canada Trail. Over a six year period, she travelled by foot, bike, and canoe chronicling her remarkable journey in her film, 500 Days in the Wild.

While I can’t even imagine attempting such a daunting venture, it did occur to me while we were hiking that if I were younger, I would plan to visit all 13 Canadian provinces and territories and hike a section of the trail in each one!

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Now that we’re home and getting back into routine, I just need to ensure that I keep on walking. I still have 147.3 km (91.5 miles) to go before October 5th!

Lost in the wild!

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While camping at Winagami Lake Provincial Park near High Prairie, Alberta last week, we decided to explore the hiking trails in the nearby O’Mahony Conservation Area. The area was named in honour of John O’Mahony, a teacher and conservationist who envisioned a natural area where students and the public could learn about and enjoy nature. By 1994, he had developed over 10 km of trails winding through the boreal forest and meadows bordering Winagami Lake.

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With bug spray, bear spray, and lunch in our daypack, we set off.

We soon discovered that the Savanah Swath and Hawk Haven trails shown on the map no longer exist, but we continued on determined to enjoy the others. All went well until we also discovered that the Eagle Trail hasn’t been maintained beyond the Beaver Browse loop. It was badly overgrown, but we made the decision to venture onward anyway. Perhaps not a good idea as it turned out!

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We were just about to turn around when I spotted a building through the trees ahead. It wasn’t shown on the map, so of course we had to check it out!

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The sign over the door says it’s an Education Shelter that was constructed in 2004 and another on the side told us that it was built by a group of Junior Forest Rangers. The door was unlocked and there was a table and some chairs inside. We brought a couple of chairs out front and enjoyed our lunch with a lovely view. I even saw a deer bound into the bushes some distance away.

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Since there was absolutely no sign of a trail going any further, we decided that it was time to retrace our steps. We didn’t expect that to be a problem, but before we knew it, we were lost! We couldn’t find the spot where we had come out of the trees. We spent the next half hour bushwhacking and scrambling about in search of our trail. The mosquitos were horrendous and I could easily see how they could drive a person mad if one was lost in the wild for very long. We were thoroughly scraped and scratched and definitely getting worried when hubby finally realized where we’d gone wrong.

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Soon we were back on the trail and all ended well, but I might be a bit more hesitant to wander off into untended territory in the future! I’ve also decided that from now there will be a lighter and some fire starter in our backpack. Without the wherewithal to build a fire, a night in the wild could be a very cold and scary one!

A quick walking update

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Yesterday, I turned my computer on for the first time in over a week. I’ve been camping, spending time with family, reading, relaxing, kayaking, hiking and walking. On May 8th, I wrote about my 150 day walking goal and challenged some of you to join me. I planned to walk or hike 300 km (186.4 miles) before my 72nd birthday on October 5th.

Today’s post is just a quick update to let you know how it’s going. I’ve been caught in the rain a couple of times and in an extreme windstorm once, but mostly I’ve enjoyed being outdoors putting one foot in front of the other on sidewalks, walking paths, and hiking trails. With the first 55 days behind me, I’ve covered 120.82 km (75 miles), so I’m on track to complete my challenge on time.

Earlier this year, my younger brother and his wife moved north to the small town of High Prairie, Alberta. She’s the new pastor of the Church of the Nazarene there and they live in the parsonage next door to the church. When we visited, I was delighted to find that the Rianna Otto Memorial Walking Trails start just the other side of the church. Each day while visiting, we walked the paved pathways alongside the West Prairie River.

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I was delighted when two readers, a friend of mine and one of my sisters-in-law, decided to join me for this challenge, each choosing a walking goal that she thought was reasonable for herself. I know that one of them is on a cross Canada trip right now, so I hope she’s also been walking some interesting trails!

Book of the month – June 2024

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Cutting for Stone

Abraham Verghese

cutting-for-stoneFrom India to Ethiopia to America, Cutting for Stone, is an epic story that captured my attention and held it for the entire 658 pages! Although it’s a work of fiction, it reads more like a memoir.

Marion and Shiva Stone are twin boys born in a mission hospital in Addis Ababa to a nursing nun from India who dies in childbirth and a British surgeon who disappears immediately after their birth. Raised on the hospital compound by two Indian doctors, the boys grow up with a love for medicine and though their pathways are very different, both eventually become doctors.

This emotional and complex family drama combines elements of Indian and Ethiopian culture, coming of age, third world medicine, political revolution, and emigration. It’s a tale of abandonment, betrayal, loss, loneliness, love, lust, envy, friendship, disease, poverty, education, and so much more. Most of all it’s a story about home, family, and belonging.

The author, Abraham Verghese, is a physician, a professor, and Vice Chair of Education at Stanford University Medical School. Born of Indian parents who were teachers in Ethiopia, he grew up near Addis Ababa and began his medical training there before emigrating to the United States. I’m always amazed when a doctor has time to write anything other than medical papers and reports, but Verghese has authored four best-selling books; two memoirs and two novels.

Cutting for Stone contains a lot of medical detail. Other than what I’ve learned as a patient, I have no medical background or knowledge, but I found that aspect of the story quite fascinating. Verghese has a gift for describing medical procedures in such a way that they are interesting, easily understood, and while sometimes quite graphic, not gross at all.

I tend to agree with the Goodreads reviewer who wrote, “It is statistically improbable that I will read a book as good as this one anytime soon.”

To tuck or not to tuck

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logo-by-samRecently, a reader commenting on one of the fashion blogs that I follow suggested that the blogger consider tucking in her blouse because, in her words, it would reduce the “frump factor”. The blogger took exception to being told that she looked frumpy and responded by devoting part of her next post to the topic. She pointed out that tucking tops in doesn’t necessarily work for everyone and that many very stylish women choose not to tuck. That post resulted in a lengthy discussion amongst her readers and inspired me to write today’s post. So, with apologies to Shakespeare, to tuck or not to tuck, that is the question!

I very rarely tuck my tops in. The quality of the photos isn’t great, but I’ll let them speak for themselves. This is just a simple jeans and t-shirt outfit that I’d wear around home, but I think it’s sufficient to make my point. 

For me, to tuck or not to tuck has a lot to do with body type. I’m tall and thin, but I have a boyish figure with a wide waist and narrow hips. To top that off, as is true of most women who are midlife or beyond, I have some extra me around the middle. Leaving my top untucked tricks the eye and makes that less noticeable. To see what I mean, look at the line between my t-shirt and pants in the photos. When my top is tucked in, your eye is drawn to my waist, the area that I don’t want to emphasize, but leaving it untucked draws your attention away from that area. An important key to making this work is to choose a top that drifts over the body instead of clinging to it and showing every bulge. 

When I do tuck in my top, I usually wear a third piece over it as I’m doing in this photo from a recent post. This actually has a narrowing effect as only a small portion of the line between my top and pants shows.

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When it comes down to it though, to tuck or not to tuck is a personal choice. There is no right or wrong answer. That’s why we call it “personal” style.