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Confidence – your best accessory

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LogoThis week, I heard someone say that confidence is the ultimate fashion accessory and that resonated with me because confident is one of my 5 style adjectives. I want my outfits to say that I am classy, casual, comfortable, confident, and authentic.

I’ve written about this topic before, but I think it bears repeating. If you’re like me, you’ve heard that little voice inside your head that says, “You’re no good at this. You don’t know what you’re doing.” or “You look ridiculous! People are going to laugh at you.”

An article in an older issue of Psychology Today, defined confidence as “a belief in oneself, the conviction that one has the ability to meet life’s challenges and to succeed – and the willingness to act accordingly.” It went on to say that projecting confidence helps us gain credibility, make strong first impressions, deal with pressure, and tackle personal and professional challenges. It also helps put other people at ease. So, what does all this have to do with fashion?

Enclothed cognition is a term that relates to the effect that clothing has on the way a person thinks, feels, and functions. Studies actually show that what we wear directly affects our behaviour, attitudes, personality, mood, confidence, and even the way we interact with other people. How we look on the outside has a powerful impact on how we feel on the inside.

Style confidence involves embracing your uniqueness and finding a personal style that makes you feel like your best self. Wear an outfit because it makes you feel good, not because someone else tells you that it’s right for you.

When it comes to confidence, I’ve also found that there’s truth in the old adage “fake it until you make it”. If you dress in a way that makes you appear strong and confident, stand tall, look people in the eye and focus on them instead of yourself, you might be quivering on the inside, but no one will know. It might require stepping out of your comfort zone, but you might also experience a rush of empowerment because you’ll be wearing your best accessory!

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How to care for sweaters

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logo-by-samI hate being cold, so it seems that my style uniform this winter has become a pair of jeans or corduroy pants and a pullover sweater, or a jumper as it’s known in some parts of the world. A style uniform is simply a combination of clothing that you know you can always rely on and feel comfortable wearing.

Since I’m wearing them so much of the time, sweater care has been on my mind and today I’m going to share a few tips for keeping your sweaters going strong.

Washing 

Begin by reading the care label. Most will advise hand washing in cold or lukewarm water as hot water may cause the fibres to shrink or the sweater to become misshapen. I’m very thankful that my washer has a gentle hand wash cycle, but if you do wash by hand, avoid wringing or twisting as this is also hard on the fibres and might stretch the sweater out of shape. When washing by machine, turn the sweater inside out to help reduce pilling and place it in a mesh laundry bag so that it doesn’t catch on anything. If your sweater is wool, use a mild, wool-specific detergent. Personally, I wouldn’t buy a sweater that needs to be dry cleaned.

Drying 

If washed by hand, begin by laying the sweater out on a dry towel and rolling it to squeeze out excess water. This step isn’t usually necessary if the sweater is machine washed. To dry, lay the sweater flat on a drying rack or another towel and gently reshape if needed.

Removing pills

Pills are the tiny balls of fluff that often form on the surface of knitted fabrics regardless of how carefully you wash them. DO NOT try to pull these off. Simply run an inexpensive fabric shaver over the affected areas as needed. This is the one I use.

Storage

There are two options for storing your sweaters; folding and hanging. Folded sweaters can be piled neatly in drawers on on shelves. If you simply hang a sweater on a hanger the way you would a shirt, gravity will stretch the sweater and leave those nasty little hanger bumps at the shoulders. Instead, I’m going to show you two options for hanging your sweaters that will avoid these problems.

Method #1

Step 1:  Lay sweater flat and fold in half lining up the sleeves.

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Step 2:  Position hanger as shown so that the hook lies between the arm and body of the sweater.

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Step 3:  Wrap the sleeves over one shoulder of the hanger.

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Step 4:  Wrap the body of the sweater over the other side of the hanger.

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Method #2

Step 1:  Same as above.

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Step 2:  Fold sleeves across the body of the sweater.

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Step 3:  Slide folded sweater over the crossbar of hanger with sleeves inside.

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Personally, I prefer the second method. It’s simple, neat and tidy, and there’s no chance of the sweater slipping off the hanger.

Following these tips should keep your sweaters looking good season after season.

When the church disappoints

/ edebock / 8 Comments

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This topic has been weighing heavily on my heart for the past couple of days. I don’t know whether I’ll be able to do it justice or not, but since writing is the best way I know to process heavy things and I need to get this off my chest, I’ll give it my best.

I know I’m not the only one feeling completely disheartened by the results of this week’s election in the US. There is no question that we are living in difficult times. What disturbs me most and what has prompted me to write this post is the fact that the election was won with the support of so many so-called evangelical Christians.

There was a time when I might have used that term to describe myself, but I no longer do. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not abandoning my faith. I’m still a Christian although the term that I prefer is Christ-follower. I will not, however, call myself an evangelical Christian. There is no way that I can possibly identify with the overwhelming number of evangelicals who bow down in adoration to a convicted felon, a racist, a misogynist, a liar. How is it that they can possibly believe that God is pleased with their choice? How can they have been so deceived?

Scripture tells us that, as Christians, we are to be “the pleasing aroma of Christ” (2 Corinthians 2:15-16), but frankly, something smells really bad right now!

The Christian church has a long history of going wrong. From the slaughter of Jews and the destruction of their communities during the Crusades to the devastating effect of church-run residential schools on our Indigenous population in the past century, the church has missed the mark in big ways and small.

There’s a common saying amongst believers that the reason there are no perfect churches is that there are no perfect people. That’s true, of course. The church is a collection of sinners, of failures, of flawed human beings, but I think that sometimes we like to use that truth to excuse the inexcusable.

I know that I’m painting the church with a broad brush here. Certainly there are individual congregations or individuals within congregations that are as disappointed as I am with the outcome of the recent election. So how do we respond? What do we do when the church disappoints?

Do we bail out? Do we turn our backs on the church and walk away? Hebrews 10:24-25 advises us to “consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another“. If there’s ever a time when we need encouragement, it’s now!  So no, I don’t advise abandoning the church altogether. We’re living in a post Christian era. Clearly the recent election outcome is just one more sign that society is moving farther and farther away from the teachings of Jesus. Whether it’s in a formal church setting or some other kind of gathering, we need one another.

Personally, I will pray and I will continue to nurture my own relationship with Christ, the all-sufficient one. After all, the church is not the saviour of the world and whether or not he would agree, the president-elect isn’t either. That is solely Jesus’ role.

Colossians 3:15 tells us to “let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.” (italics are mine) We can fight our disappointment with gratitude remembering that even in the midst of a world that seems so wrong, we have much to be thankful for.

And finally, let’s not give in to fear. One of my favourite verses, Isaiah 41:10, says, “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

As the Jim Bailey song says, “I don’t know what the future holds, but I know who holds the future”. In days that seem dark, that gives me a glimmer of hope.

Crossing the finish line

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On Wednesday, while hiking the Holdsworth Trail in Miquelon Lake Provincial Park, I crossed the finish line of my self-imposed 300 km in 150 days walking challenge 10 days before the deadline! 

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I recently read a quote by French philosopher and author, Albert Camus that resonated with me. It describes perfectly why we love to camp and hike at Miquelon in the fall. 

“Autumn is a second spring when every leaf is a flower.” 

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In fact, after completing the Holdsworth Trail on Wednesday, we hiked another 8.9 km on the park’s beautiful and very colourful backcountry trails the following day. 

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Although I’ve now accomplished my walking/hiking goal for this season, I’ll continue keeping track of my distance at least until my 72nd birthday on the 5th of October which was the deadline that I’d set for myself and then I’ll keep on walking and hiking until the snow flies, hopefully sometime in the distant future! 

Lost in the wild!

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While camping at Winagami Lake Provincial Park near High Prairie, Alberta last week, we decided to explore the hiking trails in the nearby O’Mahony Conservation Area. The area was named in honour of John O’Mahony, a teacher and conservationist who envisioned a natural area where students and the public could learn about and enjoy nature. By 1994, he had developed over 10 km of trails winding through the boreal forest and meadows bordering Winagami Lake.

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With bug spray, bear spray, and lunch in our daypack, we set off.

We soon discovered that the Savanah Swath and Hawk Haven trails shown on the map no longer exist, but we continued on determined to enjoy the others. All went well until we also discovered that the Eagle Trail hasn’t been maintained beyond the Beaver Browse loop. It was badly overgrown, but we made the decision to venture onward anyway. Perhaps not a good idea as it turned out!

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We were just about to turn around when I spotted a building through the trees ahead. It wasn’t shown on the map, so of course we had to check it out!

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The sign over the door says it’s an Education Shelter that was constructed in 2004 and another on the side told us that it was built by a group of Junior Forest Rangers. The door was unlocked and there was a table and some chairs inside. We brought a couple of chairs out front and enjoyed our lunch with a lovely view. I even saw a deer bound into the bushes some distance away.

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Since there was absolutely no sign of a trail going any further, we decided that it was time to retrace our steps. We didn’t expect that to be a problem, but before we knew it, we were lost! We couldn’t find the spot where we had come out of the trees. We spent the next half hour bushwhacking and scrambling about in search of our trail. The mosquitos were horrendous and I could easily see how they could drive a person mad if one was lost in the wild for very long. We were thoroughly scraped and scratched and definitely getting worried when hubby finally realized where we’d gone wrong.

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Soon we were back on the trail and all ended well, but I might be a bit more hesitant to wander off into untended territory in the future! I’ve also decided that from now there will be a lighter and some fire starter in our backpack. Without the wherewithal to build a fire, a night in the wild could be a very cold and scary one!

A quick walking update

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Yesterday, I turned my computer on for the first time in over a week. I’ve been camping, spending time with family, reading, relaxing, kayaking, hiking and walking. On May 8th, I wrote about my 150 day walking goal and challenged some of you to join me. I planned to walk or hike 300 km (186.4 miles) before my 72nd birthday on October 5th.

Today’s post is just a quick update to let you know how it’s going. I’ve been caught in the rain a couple of times and in an extreme windstorm once, but mostly I’ve enjoyed being outdoors putting one foot in front of the other on sidewalks, walking paths, and hiking trails. With the first 55 days behind me, I’ve covered 120.82 km (75 miles), so I’m on track to complete my challenge on time.

Earlier this year, my younger brother and his wife moved north to the small town of High Prairie, Alberta. She’s the new pastor of the Church of the Nazarene there and they live in the parsonage next door to the church. When we visited, I was delighted to find that the Rianna Otto Memorial Walking Trails start just the other side of the church. Each day while visiting, we walked the paved pathways alongside the West Prairie River.

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I was delighted when two readers, a friend of mine and one of my sisters-in-law, decided to join me for this challenge, each choosing a walking goal that she thought was reasonable for herself. I know that one of them is on a cross Canada trip right now, so I hope she’s also been walking some interesting trails!

My 150 day walking goal

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If you’ve been following my blog for long, you may remember that several times in the past few years I’ve challenged myself to walk or hike a specific distance over the summer months. The first time, back in 2020, I walked as part of a fundraiser for NET cancer research, but after that I recalled how good all that walking felt and how much having a specific goal kept me motivated. Last year, I challenged myself to walk 350 km between May 1 and October 31 and actually exceeded that by approximately 60 km.

Today, recognizing that I’ve been unusually lazy over the past winter and realizing how badly I need to get out and walk again, I decided that I would attempt to walk 300 km between now and my 72nd birthday on October 5, which happens to be exactly 150 days from now. (For my American friends, 300 km is equal to 186.4 miles.) Not only does having a goal motivate me, especially on those days when I’m feeling sluggish or just plain lazy, but being accountable to someone else is another driving force. That’s where you come in and the reason why I’m writing this post! 

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So why walk?

Walking has many benefits including:

  • It’s accessible, easy, safe, and free.
  • It reduces stress and decreases symptoms of depression and anxiety.
  • It improves heart health and reduces the risk of cardiovascular disease.
  • It increases blood flow and therefore improves energy levels.
  • It improves blood pressure and cholesterol levels.
  • It reduces the risk of some cancers.
  • It boosts the immune system.
  • It helps prevent the onset of Type 2 diabetes (which I already have).
  • It burns calories.
  • It promotes more restful sleep.
  • It improves flexibility and helps ease chronic pain and stiffness.
  • It improves brain function.
  • It’s a weight bearing exercise that reduces the risk of osteoporosis.
  • It has even been linked to longer life expectancy!

If you’d like to partner with me, I’d love to share this walking challenge with you. Just choose a distance that you think is reasonable for you and share it in the comment section below.

There are several ways to measure the distance that you walk. In and around town, I use MapMyWalk which allows you to create and save routes that you use regularly. All Trails gives information and distances for trails around the world and I use a handheld Garmin GPS to measure unmarked hiking trails. 

Why volunteer?

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April 14-20, 2024 is National Volunteer Week in Canada, a time to recognize and celebrate the impact of the country’s 24 million volunteers who share their time, skills, empathy, and creativity for the well-being of others.

But why volunteer? What are the benefits of giving of your time and energy for the sake of others?

One positive result of volunteering is an increased sense of purpose and satisfaction. Studies actually show that volunteering triggers the mesolimbic system, the portion of the brain responsible for feelings of reward. The brain releases feel-good chemicals like dopamine, spurring a person on to perform more acts of kindness. Psychologists call this “helper’s high.”

For those of us who are retired, this aspect of volunteering can be especially beneficial. “A strong sense of purpose is always in my top five secrets of healthy aging,” says Scott Kaiser, MD, a board-certified geriatrician and director of geriatric cognitive health for the Pacific Neuroscience Institute. “Having a reason to get up in the morning is extremely powerful.”

Research presented at last year’s Alzheimer’s Association International Conference also found that volunteering later in life may protect the brain against cognitive decline and dementia. Those who volunteered demonstrated better memory and executive function. Volunteering can also be a social activity; an opportunity to build connections with other people who have similar interests.

In his later years, my father always said that there are no end of things to do as long as you don’t have to be paid for doing them and I have found that to be very true. My only problem is ensuring that I don’t overextend myself and take on more than I can reasonably handle.

But what if you haven’t volunteered before? How do you get started? First, think about your skills, abilities, and passions. What are you good at? What excites you? Next, look for opportunities that align with these things. These might be found in your church, in community organizations, or ever further afield. Sometimes it’s just a matter of taking that first step!

For example, teaching and writing are my gifts. These are the things that energize me. In the past, children’s ministries were an obvious area where my abilities could be put to good use. I taught Sunday School, counselled at summer camps, and assisted with after school programs and Vacation Bible Schools. While I still love kids, I don’t have the energy level that I once had, so working with adults has become a better fit. I lead a ladies Bible and also volunteer as a tutor with a local literacy program. As I’ve mentioned on the blog before, I’m also a volunteer editor for Kiva, an online lending program that crowdfunds loans to borrowers around the world who don’t have access to traditional financing. This has the advantage of being done online and while I’m committed to editing a minimum of 40 loan descriptions a month, I can do it whenever I choose.

Still not sure? Don’t be afraid to step outside your comfort zone and try something new. Several months ago, I volunteered to be part of a CNETS (Canadian Neuroendocrine Tumours Society) Advocacy Advisory Board, hence my recent trip to Montreal. We’re still in the learning and planning stages, so I don’t know exactly how my skills will be put to use, but as a NETS patient this is something that I’m passionate about, so I took a leap.

As my father said, there are no end of opportunities. Hospitals need volunteers to assist patients, their families, and staff. Food banks need volunteers to prepare and distribute food hampers. Drivers are needed to deliver meals to shut ins. Schools often welcome volunteers to help in a variety of ways. A volunteer even gave me directions at the airport last week!

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Farewell to a fashion icon

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I usually only post about fashion on Fridays, but I didn’t want to wait a whole week to acknowledge yesterday’s passing of one of fashion’s most colourful personalities. 

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American fashion icon, Iris Apfel, famous for her eclectic style and her oversized glasses, was 102 years old! Born on August 29, 1921, Apfel was renowned for her irreverent, eye catching outfits mixing high end fashion with flea market finds and oversized costume jewelry and always, those big, round, black-rimmed glasses! 

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Apfel was an interior designer and an expert on textiles and antique fabrics. She and her husband, Carl, who passed away in 2015 at age 100, owned the textile manufacturing company, Old World Weavers, and specialized in restoration. Their work included projects at the White House under six different American presidents. 

In 2005, the Metropolitan Museum of Art’s Costume Institute in New York City hosted an exhibition about Apfel called Rara Avis, Latin for “rare bird”, and that she most certainly was! The museum described her this way, “An American original in the truest sense, Iris Apfel is one of the most vivacious personalities in the worlds of fashion, textiles, and interior design, and over the past 40 years, she has cultivated a personal style that is both witty and exuberantly idiosyncratic.”

Apfel never stopped working. She modelled for Vogue in 2018, the same year Mattel made a silver-haired Barbie in her name. The following year, at age 97, she landed a modelling contract with IMG Models. “I’m a total workaholic, but never in my wildest dreams did I think I would be a cover girl in my nineties,” she told The Times of London, but cover girl she was several times over. At age 99, she curated a line of home products for Lowe’s and partnered with Zenni Optical to offer frames in her favourite eyewear shapes and styles. She also teamed up with Etsy to offer “Iris Apfel’s Fashion Favorites” on the online marketplace.

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Here are just a few of the words of wisdom that Iris Apfel offered about fashion and style…

“Fashion you can buy, but style you possess. The key to style is learning who you are, which takes years. There’s no how-to road map to style. It’s about self expression and, above all, attitude.”

“Everybody should find her own way. I’m a great one for individuality. I don’t like trends. If you get to learn who you are and what you look like and what you can handle, you’ll know what to do.”

“People should try to personalize their own outfits. It gives them a chance to be a bit creative and then they don’t look like everyone else. I think the biggest fashion faux pas these days is looking into the mirror and seeing somebody else. It doesn’t work. You’ve got to know who you are.”

“I say dress to please yourself. Listen to your inner muse and take a chance. Wear something that says: “Here I am!” today.”

“I’m not pretty, and I’ll never be pretty, but it doesn’t matter. I have something much better. I have style.” 

Yes, Iris, you most certainly did! 

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You aren’t just “Someone”

/ edebock / 2 Comments

For the past while, almost everyone who has left a comment on my blog has been identified as either “Someone” or “Anonymous”. This bothered me because each and every one of you is important to me. I want to know who you are and I want to be able to address you by name when I reply.

It took me longer than it should have to figure out what the problem was, but I think (I hope) that it’s now been resolved. It appears that something in my settings had been inadvertently changed and commenters were no longer being asked to identify themselves by name and email address. Without that information, WordPress simply calls you “Someone” or “Anonymous”.

There are several valid reasons for asking commenters to identify themselves and leave their email addresses. The biggest concern is that requiring less information makes it extremely easy for spam bots to leave comments and almost impossible to filter them out. This can become a nightmare for a blogger.

I know that some of you might be hesitant about leaving your email addresses and given the number of cyber security issues that one hears about these days, I can hardly blame you. I want to assure you, however, that your email address will not be shared with anyone other than myself and that you will not receive any unsolicited emails. If you’re uncomfortable giving your full name, please feel free to use your first name only or even a nickname if you prefer.

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