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The most important things

/ edebock / 8 Comments

I had a different idea in mind for this week’s post, but then I read something that caused me to pause and think about the important things in life. The truly important things.

If I were to ask many people what’s most important in life, their answers would probably include things like family, good health, happiness, financial or job security, and a safe place to live. Depending on their circumstances, they might even say enough to eat or clean drinking water. These are, after all, very important. In fact, it was some of these things that first came to mind when I started asking myself what’s most important in life, but then I thought of something else.

When Jesus was asked which commandment was most important, He replied, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbour as yourself.'” 

My faith, my personal relationship with God, is the most important thing in my life because it’s the only thing of eternal value, but it was actually Christ’s second statement that I was thinking about when I sat down to write this post. “Love your neighbour as yourself.” The Bible actually has a lot to say about how we treat one another. In fact, the “golden rule” that we were taught as children actually comes directly out of Scripture. Luke 6:31 says, “Do to others as you would have them do to you.”

So why have I been thinking about the importance of how we treat one another? In Canada and the US, at least, and perhaps other parts of the world as well, we have become very polarized people. We are sharply divided along political lines. No sooner had Canadians drawn together in response to threats from our southern neighbour than our own federal election tore us apart again. As I feared would happen, we went from “elbows up” unity to attacking one another for our political views. Nowhere was worse than on social media where people tend to say things they wouldn’t say in person.

Politics is important, but is it the most important thing? Is it worth losing friendships over? Surely each of us is entitled to have our own opinion and to express it without condemnation. Can’t we disagree, but still treat one another with respect or must we vilify those who don’t see eye to eye with us?  After all, while we might not agree on which party is the right one to govern or which leader is the most competent, we all want the same things. We all want what’s best for our country, our families, and ourselves.

Perhaps the most important things in life aren’t things at all. Perhaps our character, who we are and how we treat others, is much more important.

Where in the world are you?

/ edebock / 17 Comments

When it comes to the blog, I’m a bit of a stats junkie. Every 30 minutes WordPress provides updated statistics showing how many readers have visited my site and which posts they’ve read. I especially enjoy looking at the map and the list that tells me where those readers are located. It always amazes me that the words that I type reach such far reaching points on the globe!

 

This map represents the last seven days with the darker shades of blue indicating where the most readers are located. Over time, the majority of my readers have been in the United States and Canada, but the UK, Australia, New Zealand, India, and Germany are also well represented.

While WordPress provides me with lots of interesting information, your identity is protected. It doesn’t tell me who the individuals are who read my posts. Unless you leave a comment either on the blog or on Facebook, I don’t actually know that you’ve been here.

One of the things that I enjoy most about blogging is connecting with people in many different places from different walks of life. I live my life out loud here on the blog. I share everything from my thoughts on fashion to my faith to my life with cancer. Today, I’d like to know more about you. I’d love it if you would tell me where you’re reading this from. It can be as simple as a one word answer, but if you’re comfortable doing so, why not tell me a little more about yourself. If you’re a regular reader, I’d also love to know what kind of posts you enjoy the most, what you’d like to see more of on the blog, and what doesn’t interest you at all.

Today I’m hoping that you’ll step out of that patch of blue on the WordPress map and say hello!

Three trips in one

/ edebock / 8 Comments

As a lover of words and written language, I’ve long been a collector of quotes. Three years ago, when I read Between Two Kingdoms: A Memoir of a Life Interrupted by cancer survivor, Suleika Jaouad, I jotted this one down: 

“When we travel, we actually take three trips. There’s the first trip of preparation and anticipation, packing and daydreaming. There’s the trip you’re actually on. And then, there’s the trip you remember. The key is to be present wherever you are right now.”

The concept of three trips in one really resonated with me because in my experience it’s so true! We seldom go on organized tours or use a travel agent because I prefer to do all our travel planning myself. For me, that’s part of the fun of travelling. It’s the trip before the trip. Thankfully, hubby is a great travel companion and he’s almost always happy to go along with whatever I plan.

Here’s another quote that definitely describes us:

While our departure is still a little over a month away, I’m definitely into trip one of our next big travel adventure. Our flights are booked and paid for, accommodations arranged, and necessary visas received. Now, that those essentials have been taken care of, I’m into the fun part which is researching our destinations and planning the things we’ll see and do while we’re there. I’m also starting to think about what I’ll pack.

Where are we going, you ask? I’m not ready to reveal that just yet, but I will tell you that this adventure is part mission trip and part tourist travel. When the time for trip two, the real trip, arrives, I’m sure I’ll have lots to share with you!

Resurrection Sunday!

/ edebock / 4 Comments

If you are one who usually reads my blog on Fridays, you will have noticed that there wasn’t a new post this week. We spent Good Friday with family and it was indeed a good day. In the morning, we attended a solemn service commemorating the final 24 hours leading up to our Lord’s crucifixion. I don’t think there’s any better way to explain the significance of Good Friday than by sharing the B.C. comic. It says it all. Jesus took my place. He took your place. And He did it willingly. Thankfully though, that wasn’t the end of the story.

Today is Easter, the day that we celebrate the fact (yes, it is a fact) that the broken, battered body that was laid in a borrowed tomb overcame death and rose again! A more fitting name for the day would actually be Resurrection Sunday.

It is thought that the word, Easter, which doesn’t appear in the Bible, was probably derived from the name of Eostre, a pre-Christian goddess in England who was celebrated at beginning of spring. Given the symbolism of new life and rebirth, it seems fitting to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus at this time of year, but the real reason that this time of year was chosen is the close proximity to the Jewish Passover. It was during the Passover festival that Jesus was executed.

Regardless of what we call it though, Easter is the most important day on the Christian calendar. It is the day that we celebrate victory over sin and death.

“Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die.”  John 11:25

If you haven’t accepted Jesus as your Lord and Saviour, this verse might seem like nonsense to you. How can we live if we die? Look back at the comic. Death is the punishment for our sins, our wrongdoings. The Bible tells us that there is no one without sin, not even one, except for Jesus Christ, and He chose to take our punishment. Yes, our bodies will eventually die, but the essence of who we are is not this physical body. It is the spirit that lives within. On Resurrection Sunday, we celebrate the fact that if we accept His payment for our sin, the spirit that is the real me, the real you, will spend eternity with Him. We will not die!

This is not religion. It’s not a set of rules and regulations. It’s a relationship; a relationship with the one who made us and who willingly died for us.

How do I know that this is true? I know because almost fifty years ago He changed my life completely. He took a messed-up life that would surely have ended in despair and transformed it into one that experiences deep inner peace and joy even in the most trying of times. I know because He speaks to me. Like a child with a parent, I don’t always like what He says, but I’ve learned that He always wants what is best for me. I know because He is always with me. I am never alone.

If you don’t know this kind of peace, why not make this Resurrection Sunday the day you decide to accept His free gift of life? It’s as simple as ABC. Admit that you are a sinner (we all are!) Believe that Jesus willingly took your place, died for your sins, and rose again in victory over sin and death. Confess Him as Lord of your life and choose to live in obedience to Him. If you choose to do that today, please let me know, or if you have any questions, feel free to email me at elainedebock@gmail.com.

The tomb is empty. Happy Easter!

What not to say to grieving parents

/ edebock / 10 Comments

This has been a very tough week. Young friends of ours were involved in a tragic accident that took the life of one of their children. Two others are still in critical condition. Immediately after the accident occurred, we were called and asked to go to the hospital because, as parents who lost a child a long time ago, “you will know what to do.”

What do you do in a situation like that? What do you say? We went, but we said very little. There really are no words that are adequate at a time like that. A hug, a gentle touch, or even just your presence might be all that is needed.

Sometimes even the most well-intentioned words can be hurtful, so here are a few things not to say to a grieving parent.

  1.  “I know how you feel.” No, you don’t! Regardless of how close you are or even if you’ve lost a child yourself, you can’t know how another person feels.
  2. “She’s in a better place.” Even if you believe that to be true, it doesn’t address the parent’s tremendous sense of loss. A parent wants their child to be right here, right now.
  3. “God must have needed another angel.” First of all, that’s theologically unsound. People don’t become angels when they die and even if they did, according to Revelation 5:11 God has “thousands upon thousands” of angels. He doesn’t need another one. 
  4. “Everything happens for a reason.” What possible comfort could that be to a parent who has lost a child?
  5. “At least you have other children.” or “You can always have another child.” While these statements might be true, one child can never replace another. 
  6. “Be thankful for the time you had with him.” Unless the parent expresses this sentiment themselves, it’s not appropriate to tell them how they should feel. 
  7. “Call me if there’s anything I can do.” While this is a generous thought, asking for help is difficult at the best of times and a parent in the midst of profound grief might not even know what they need. Instead, look for something specific that you can to do, then offer or if it’s appropriate, simply go ahead and do it.
  8. Finally, try not to make suggestions about what you think they should or shouldn’t do. As Ernest Hemingway once said, “In our darkest moments, we don’t need advice.”

Do offer sincere condolences. It’s enough to simply say, “I’m so sorry for your loss.” Don’t be afraid to show emotion and as time goes by, don’t hesitate to mention the child by name and to share favourite memories of him. 

Lastly, remember that the old adage “time heals all wounds” is not true. While the intense pain of immediate loss does soften with time, a parent’s heart never truly heals. We don’t “get over” our loss, we simply learn to live with it.  

Returning to the stage!

/ edebock / 4 Comments

For many years, community theatre was a big part of my life, but the last time I was on the stage was pre-COVID. By the time the pandemic restrictions were lifted and our local theatre group began working on another play, I had moved on to other pursuits. For their next two plays, I was a member of the audience which definitely felt weird! 

Then early last fall there was an audition call that I absolutely could not pass up. For twenty years or more, the group had been talking about doing a musical, but we just didn’t have the talent necessary to pull it off. That has changed, however, and Flagstaff Players had finally decided to tackle Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. I didn’t even stop to think about whether or not I could fit this into my schedule. I had to do it!

I am not particularly musical, but I can carry a tune in a group and I’ll be singing in the women’s chorus. This is the largest cast we’ve ever had and I have the honour of being the oldest member! For me, one of the the greatest joys of acting in community theatre has been sharing the stage with some of my former students. This time, not only am I doing that, but the youngest member of the women’s chorus is the teenage daughter of a former student! Does that make me feel old? Not really! Being part of a production like this absolutely energizes me and I didn’t realize until this week that I’m probably old enough to be the mother or grandmother of every other member of the chorus! That’s okay; I’m sure there were older women in Canaan and Egypt. After all, Joseph lived to be 110 and his father, Jacob, died at 147!

There are a lot of superstitions connected with the theatre. Many stage actors swear that a bad dress rehearsal means that opening night will go well. Our final dress rehearsal on Wednesday wasn’t bad, but there were certainly some little glitches that we are keen to correct. Tonight is opening night and we are ready! We’ll be doing four shows in total; two this weekend and two next. If you’re local, I hope to see you there!  

Time for a change

/ edebock / 4 Comments

Although there’s been plenty of talk about doing away with daylight savings time here in Alberta, it hasn’t happened yet and I’m glad. Yes, we lost an hour of sleep last Saturday night, but I’m loving the extra hour of daylight every day!

Speaking of time and change, I’ve decided that it’s time for a change here on the blog. I’m finding it more and more difficult to come up with a fashion post every single week. When I introduced Fashion Friday in March 2016, I had no idea how long I’d be able to keep it going. I think 9 years and more than 400 posts has been a pretty good run! If you’re one who follows me for those Friday posts, please don’t panic though! I’m not quitting completely. I still plan to write about fashion, just not as often, and I still plan to publish a post every Friday. Some will be about fashion and some will explore other topics. I do hope you’ll continue to follow along.

So as not to be completely devoid of fashion news today, I do have a couple of things to share. Northern Reflections, one of Canada’s most recognizable fashion brands, has been acquired by Putman Investments, the same company that was responsible for revitalizing a number of other well-known retail brands including Toys “R” Us and Babies “R” Us Canada, Sunrise Records, and UK-based HMV. While customers may see a few changes over the coming months, the company is committed to maintaining approximately 105 stores across Canada. On a similar note, Ricki’s and Cleo, the two Canadian fashion retailers whose demise I previously wrote about here, have also been purchased out of creditor protection by Putman Investments. I definitely look forward to seeing what their revival looks like and I’m very happy that the rescuing company is Canadian!

On a more personal note, I’ll also share a change that took place in my life about a week ago. Considering the fact that I had never even once attended a patient support group meeting, it might seem a bit crazy, but I agreed to become co-lead of the CNETS patient support group here in Alberta! CNETS is the Canadian Neuroendocrine Tumour Society and neuroendocrine is the cancer that I’ve had for over 11 years. When I was first diagnosed back in 2013, support group meetings took place in person in Edmonton, over two hours from my home. Since I already had the support of family, friends, and prayer partners around the world, I really didn’t feel a need to get involved. Like so many other things, with the onset of COVID, the meetings went online and they’ve remained that way since except that there haven’t been very many of them in the past couple of years. The previous leader was feeling burned out and no one had stepped up to take his place. When a fellow member of the CNETS Advocacy Advisory Board who also lives in Alberta asked me to consider joining her as co-lead, I was very hesitant. I don’t need a patient support group, I told myself, but the answer I heard in my heart was “maybe the group needs you”. So here I am, jumping into something brand new. Oh well, just like Daylight Savings Time, change can be a good thing!

Image: Pixabay

Finding hope during challenging times

/ edebock / 4 Comments

It’s Friday, so normally this would be a fashion post, but considering the state of the world today, writing about clothing seems frivolous and I just couldn’t get my mind (or my heart) around the idea. These days, I just want to wear my favourite jeans and coziest sweaters on repeat.

It’s also the end of the month, so I should be writing a book review, but that isn’t happening either. Oh, I’ve been reading. In fact, I’ve been reading quite a bit, but I’ve been escaping into frivolous, fluffy novels, not the sort of thing that I would bother to review or recommend. 

As I was leaving my doctor’s office yesterday (more about that in a future post), I decided to stop at a thrift store on my way home. I immediately spotted this and it ended up being my only purchase. I’m not sure where it will eventually end up in my newly renovated home, but for now it’s in a spot where I see it every time I enter the kitchen.

You might remember that, for the second year in a row, hope is my one word for the year and if there’s ever a time when we need hope I think it might be now. So how do we find hope and hang onto it amidst the barrage of negative occurrences in the world around us today? One way of doing this is to focus on what is good and right in our day to day experiences. This doesn’t mean living with our heads in the sand, but it might mean less time watching the news or scrolling the internet. 

According to Wikipedia, hope is “an optimistic state of mind”. It’s a glass half full attitude. It’s being able to imagine positive outcomes and when possible, acting to achieve them. That’s what I want the new sign in my kitchen to remind me of.

Like the puddles on the street and the water dribbling out of our downspouts remind me that the long cold winter is almost over and spring is coming, I want to be reminded that there are still more people in the world who want equity and justice than those who are fighting for the opposite. Believing that gives me hope.     

What gives you hope today? 

A post-holiday update

/ edebock / 8 Comments

Christmas has come and gone and the decorations are all put away. Christmas itself was a quiet one for hubby and I this year. It was just the two of us on Christmas morning, but we were joined by another couple later in the day for turkey dinner with all the trimmings. Then, two days later, the house was full with two of our grown children, their spouses, and six of our eight grandchildren here for the weekend! Every bed was taken as well as a couple of air mattresses and we managed to squeeze all twelve of us around the table at mealtime. Board games and trips to the tobogganing hill were enjoyed and it was a delight to see the cousins having so much fun together. But…

As grandchildren often do, one or two of them came with coughs and runny noses and Gram managed to catch one heck of a cold! Thankfully, the symptoms didn’t appear until after everyone left, but I was under the weather for several days. I’m finally on the mend, no longer depending on decongestants to breathe and although the cough still lingers, I don’t feel like I’m hacking up a lung. I’d normally say that I don’t feel my age, but this cold drained me of energy and definitely left me feeling old. Hopefully that’s just temporary! 

Speaking of age, we’re celebrating this guy today.

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It’s hubby’s 75th birthday today, definitely a milestone! It will be another quiet celebration though. At one point, I had thought about inviting friends in to celebrate with us, but between sickness and a house that’s gradually being stripped bare in preparation for upcoming renovations, that’s not happening.  

We’re in the process of emptying closets, clearing off shelves and countertops, and moving everything except our large pieces of furniture into the basement. Walls will be painted, ancient carpets replaced with wood flooring, baseboards and trim replaced, interior doors repainted, and the front door replaced. While the work is being done, we plan to be out of the way, but more about that later. 

I will be blogging from time to time over the next few weeks, but I’m not sure if there will be any fashion posts. I do have a couple of ideas rattling around in my brain, but right now my clothes are all over the place and I’m not sure what I’ll be able to pull together. Do stay tuned though!

One word for 2025

/ edebock / 5 Comments

Happy New Year!

For each of the past eight years I’ve chosen one word to inspire or guide me in the new year as well as a scripture verse to go along with it, but this year will be different. Instead of choosing a new word for 2025, I’m going to keep my one word for 2024 for another year.

Hope!

Hope has been such a significant and meaningful word for me for the past year that I’m not ready to let it go and focus on another.

The New Oxford American Dictionary defines hope as “a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen”. That meaning is definitely part of the reason that I originally chose it as my one word. There are many things that I hope for in 2025. I hope that my family is healthy and happy. I hope that my own health remains stable and that hubby and I can make the trips that we are planning. I hope that the renos on our house that will begin in a couple of weeks turn out well. Yes, I hope for many things, but there is a hope that is so much greater than any of these.

The Biblical word hope is much more than just wishful thinking. From the Hebrew word tikvah, it’s an expectation, a certainty, a strong expression of faith. It’s confidence that God is who He says He is and can do what He says He will do. That’s the hope that I hold fast to; a hope that doesn’t depend on my circumstances.

Last year, I had a difficult time choosing a Bible verse to go along with my one word because there were so many possibilities. I finally settled on two of them. Romans 15:13 says “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” and the first part of Hebrews 6:19 reads “We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.”  This year, even though I’m keeping my one word for another year, I decided to choose a different verse to go with it. Again, I pondered several possibilities and finally chose Romans 12:12. 

romans-12-12-bible-verse

What do you hope for in 2025?

Have you chosen a word for the new year?