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Too many trolls!

/ edebock / 2 Comments

IMG_0564I’ve discovered a way to save myself a lot of time and aggravation!

For the past few years, I’ve read the news online. I rarely turn on the TV and gone are the days of having a newspaper delivered to the door each morning. The news can be depressing enough, but recently I’ve developed the habit of scrolling down past the end of an article and reading through the comment thread that’s often found there. That’s where my real aggravation begins. I love a good, well thought out debate with arguments on both sides of an issue but that’s seldom what I find. Instead, these threads tend to be filled with ridiculous and radical statements or worse yet, personal insults. I was beginning to think that the world must be filled with stupid people! Then I realized that some of them are trolls.

Like the mythical creature lurking under a bridge and waiting to gobble up the Three Billy Goats Gruff, they hide behind their keyboards and wreak havoc on unsuspecting internet users. By definition, an internet troll is “a person who sows discord on the internet starting arguments or upsetting people by posting inflammatory, extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community with the deliberate intent of provoking readers into an emotional response.” Or, as someone else put it in a somewhat more indelicate manner, “being a prick on the internet simply because it’s the internet and, hey, you can be!” Clearly people are willing to say all sorts of things online that they would never say to a person’s face.

Reading about the tentative agreement reached yesterday in the BC teachers strike is a case in point. Obviously, in a province where labour disputes seem to be the norm and where students have been out of school for several weeks, heightened emotions are to be expected. As I read the comments following one of the articles, I wasn’t surprised to see mudslinging directed at both the government and the teachers union. I was a little more uncomfortable with the nasty comments directed at the teachers themselves, probably because I’ve been in their shoes, but I was also glad to see many supportive ones. In no time, however, the discussion deteriorated into individuals hurling insults at one another. The trolls had done their dirty work, stirring up dissention then sitting back and watching people come apart at the seams! Why would I waste my time reading that? In the future, I won’t. I’m determined to break the habit of scrolling down and looking at the comment threads!

Internet trolls don’t limit themselves to news pages. Blogs and other social media aren’t immune. In fact, I’m aware of one popular blogger who is, in my opinion, a troll himself. He writes controversial and sometimes inflammatory posts, then watches the comments fly! He doesn’t moderate them or even comment on them. He just lets his readers chew into one another. I can only guess that he finds this entertaining but I’ve stopped reading his blog.

I have a Facebook friend who, sometimes inadvertently, starts the greatest online discussions. The topics are often controversial and thought provoking but the moment a troll interjects or the conversation moves toward insults and personal attacks, she has the good sense to remove the entire thread. I so appreciate that! The internet is a great place for us to flex our intellectual muscles and engage in stimulating conversation, but sadly there are those who delight in ruining it for the rest of us.

My only question now is, what will I do with all the time I redeem by not reading this trash?

International Literacy Day 2014

/ edebock / 2 Comments

Right now, you are doing something that one in five people on the face of this planet cannot do!

As one who values my ability to read above most other skills, I find that an appalling statistic! According to the World Literacy Foundation, an estimated 67 million children around the world do not have access to primary school education! Equally disturbing is the fact that almost two-thirds of the world’s illiterate adults are women. Given that statistic, it’s hardly surprising to learn that the majority of the world’s poor are also female.

Today is International Literacy Day, a day for shedding light on the desperate need to ensure that all people have the opportunity to learn to read and write. Education is a basic human right, but one that many people are denied, particularly in parts of Asia and sub-Saharan Africa. The problem is not restricted to underdeveloped parts of the world, however. Literacy rates in Canada are high, around 97 per cent, but what does that really mean? While they may have basic decoding skills, the most recent literacy study by Statistics Canada shows that millions of Canadians do not have the literacy skills they need to keep pace with the escalating demands of our society and economy. A whopping 48% of Canadian adults over the age of 16, many of them new immigrants, have low literacy skills that do not adequately equip them for the workforce. The situation is similar in the US.

But what can we do? How can you and I overcome such an enormous global issue? That’s where the Starfish Story comes in (adapted from The Star Thrower by Loren Eiseley).

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We cannot solve the world’s literacy problem, but we can make a difference for one or two.

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This is Marie. My husband and I have been sponsoring her through New Missions, a small organization operating in Haiti and the Dominican Republic, since she was in primary school. She now attends high school and dreams of becoming a nurse. For approximately one dollar a day, we provide her with the opportunity to go to school in Haiti where only 2% of the children finish high school and about 40% of the adult population is illiterate. She also receives a hot meal at school each day as well as regular health check-ups and medical care when it’s needed. There are many similar organizations, including World Vision, that offer you the opportunity to provide a child with the chance to go to school. Perhaps that child could be your starfish!

I also choose to give Kiva loans to impoverished women in third world countries who are helping support their families and educate their children. By investing in women’s lives, society as a whole benefits because women typically reinvest 90% of their income back into their families. In so doing, they break the cycle of illiteracy and help lift their families out of poverty.

Closer to home, encouraging literacy is as simple as reading to a child! Fill your home with books and let the children in your life see you enjoying the gift of reading.

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Going back to school!

/ edebock / 4 Comments

If money had been no object, I’d have gone straight back to university after earning my education degree. I would have pursued a second bachelor degree, this time in cultural anthropology, simply because I loved it. At the time, however, that wasn’t an option. My first degree was paid for by a grant from the Government of the Northwest Territories but that had run out and it was time to find a job and begin supporting myself.

Since retiring from teaching seven years ago, I’ve often thought that if I lived closer to a college or university I’d probably enroll in a few courses just for fun. Although anthropology still interests me, at this point I’d probably choose women’s studies. I’ve never considered myself a feminist because I’m adamantly opposed to abortion (except when continuing a pregnancy places the mother’s life in grave danger). By definition, I suppose I’m a pro-life feminist as I’m keenly interested in the plight of women worldwide, believing that girls and women should have equal rights and opportunities to men. It pains me to know that, in this day and age, girls and women in many parts of the world continue to be denied access to education and to endure obscene cruelties such as female genital mutilation and forced marriage.

Okay, let me climb down off my soapbox and continue what I started off to say!

Though I don’t regret the fact that I didn’t go to Bible college as a young person and I didn’t encourage my own children to do so, in recent years I’ve also thought that I wouldn’t mind taking a few Biblical studies courses. Recently, I learned of an opportunity to combine all three of my academic interests and audit a course entitled Biblical Theology of Womanhood: Old Testament online for free!

The women’s studies course, offered by Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary in Fort Worth, Texas, is described as “an amplified and comprehensive study of womanhood in the Old Testament which overlaps in a general way and is supplementary to systematic theology, especially as concerns the doctrine of anthropology.”

Auditing the course means that I’m not taking it for university credit. I get to enjoy all the lectures and do as many of the readings as I want, but I don’t have to write any of the papers or take the final exam. There are also online discussion groups that I can participate in. I must admit that I felt a tingle of excitement when I received the email with my student ID number! It’s been 39 years since I had one of those!

The course actually started on August 21 but since I was on vacation, I chose to wait until I was back home to begin. As an online student, I’m not tied to the regular Thursday evening schedule. Instead, I can watch the two and a half to three hour lectures whenever I choose. The first one, which I watched this evening, was an introduction to the course and laid the groundwork for what lies ahead. I’m not sure that I’ll agree with everything that’s taught but I do know that I’ll be challenged to dig into scripture and to seek a better understanding of what God’s Word says to and about women. I also know that I’m excited to be going back to school even if it is in the comfort of my own living room!

Baby snuggles

/ edebock / 12 Comments

This morning, we loaded our suitcase into the vehicle and left home as we’ve done almost every Monday since the beginning of June, but this time, instead of heading for Edmonton and another round of radiation treatments, we turned south and came to Calgary to get some baby snuggles!

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After returning from Vancouver last week, we met with Dr. Sandy McEwan, head of the neuroendocrine team at the Cross Cancer Institute, to review the results of the previous week’s CT scan and begin planning for future treatment. We were given the good news that, in spite of the fact that they haven’t been treated or even looked at since the beginning of February, my neuroendocrine tumours are stable. Apparently, there hasn’t been any significant change in them while I’ve been undergoing treatment for my second cancer. Now, with the exception of one monthly injection, I am free of all things medical for the entire month of August!

After being away from home so much recently, it was tempting to stay put for awhile but grandchildren are a much bigger temptation! Simon is almost 5 months old already and I hadn’t seen him since the beginning of June. We’ll be taking care of him and his two older siblings all day tomorrow and the next day while our daughter, Melaina, takes a first aid course. I guess we’ll see how much energy Gram has these days!

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Losing my mother and finding her again

/ edebock / 25 Comments

One night last week, my 92 year old mother went to sleep and didn’t wake up.

When the phone call came the following morning, my initial reaction was shock. It wasn’t completely unexpected but when I’d talked to Dad a couple of days earlier, there were no warning signs; nothing to indicate that the end was so near.

I went through the motions that day, showing up for my treatment and shedding a few tears behind my radiation mask, but as I thought about it, I couldn’t help believing that it was for the best. Mom died in her own bed in the building next to Dad’s in the care complex where they’ve lived for the past few months. She didn’t linger in a hospital bed and we didn’t have to sit helplessly by and watch her suffer.

The timing bothered me because, in the middle of radiation treatments, I couldn’t simply drop everything and fly out to Vancouver. The family has been wonderful, however, agreeing to postpone gathering for a memorial service until my treatments are complete. Dad, ever the stoic, put my needs before his own, feeling it was important to ensure that everyone who wanted to attend would be able to.

And so we wait. I don’t know about the rest of the family, but in the past few days, I’ve begun to experience a sense of closure. In a way, my Mom has already been gone for a very long time. She started to sink into the depths of dementia a long time ago. In fact, I don’t remember the last time I had a real conversation with her, one where she was fully cognizant and engaged, one where she truly knew who I was. In recent years, she’s been trapped in a body that was blind, incontinent and confined to a wheelchair. More recently, she’d started to lose her ability to swallow and could only consume pureed food and thickened liquids. In spite of it all, she managed to retain her sweet spirit, but that’s no way to have to live.

Dad burned himself out trying to care for her before finally recognizing that he couldn’t do it any longer and worrying about the two of them was hugely stressful for the rest of us. Now it’s over. She is at peace and we have only Dad to worry about. As I work on writing her eulogy, I can begin to put aside the agony of watching her mind fade into the mist of confusion and her body fail. I can dig deeper and revive some of my earlier memories, the warm and funny memories of a mother and grandmother who loved her family above all else. It’s actually a pleasant way to mourn.

In preparation for the memorial service later this month, I’ve been digging through boxes of old family photographs that are stored at my place and flipping through my photo albums putting together a pictorial display of Mom’s life. In the process, I’ve been finding more than pictures; I’ve been finding memories. Stories that Mom told us about her early life have been coming back to me and I’ve been reliving births, graduations and weddings as well as the day to day events recorded in the pictures. I even found a photo that I don’t ever remember seeing before. Here we are, Mom and I, when I was under two!

Mom & I

In losing my mother, I think I’m beginning to find her again!

What are you reading?

/ edebock / 10 Comments

“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more you learn, the more places you’ll go.”

Dr. Suess

I’ve been an avid reader for as long as I can remember. Bookstores and libraries are two of my favourite places but when I was recently asked who my favourite author is, I couldn’t answer. I had to be honest and say that I don’t have one. There are simply too many to choose from!

As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, my favourite novel is The Bridges of Madison County by Robert James Waller and the nonfiction book that has impacted me most is Half the Sky: Turning Oppression Into Opportunity For Women Worldwide by Nicholas D. Kristoff and Sheryl WuDunn.

As Dr. Suess so wisely mentions, books can take us places we might never go. I’m presently in the middle of reading Behind the Beautiful Forevers by Pulitzer Prize winning reporter, Katherine Boo, which has carried me into the slums of present day Mumbai, India. Next on my list is The Know-It-All: One Man’s Humble Quest to Become the Smartest Person in the World by A.J. Jacobs. Recommended by my blogging friend, Donloree, the book chronicles Jackson’s experience reading the Encyclopaedia Britannica from A to Z!

My taste in reading is somewhat eclectic and perhaps a bit academic. I don’t care for fantasy, mysteries or thrillers. I’m not averse to romance but I don’t like what I call “fluff” (syrupy, predictable, “happy ever after” stories) nor do I care for the highly erotic. Fifty Shades of Grey is not on my reading list. Though our bookshelves contain a very sizable collection of westerns, those are Richard’s and I’ve never had a desire to read them.

So what do I like to read? First on my list would probably be realistic fiction, true to life human interest stories like the book I’m presently reading. I also enjoy historical fiction, stories that take me back in time. Biographies, autobiographies and other non-fiction books that introduce me to the lives of interesting people in interesting places are also high on my list.

Though I’ll never read the entire Encyclopaedia Britannica, I have read the Bible from cover to cover several times. I consider it the essential guidebook for this journey called life and I read from it almost every day. For reading purposes, I much prefer a chronological Bible that puts the historical narrative in the order that it happened. The version that I’m currently reading is a New King James chronological study Bible that contains lots of notes, articles, timelines and other graphics that give insight into the life and customs of Bible times. They contain information on everything from agriculture to architecture, food and drink to government, and marriage and family to science and worship. I’m thinking that it’s going to take me a long time to get through this one but it’s definitely fascinating.

As a teenager, I went through a science fiction phase but that genre no longer captures my interest and as a long time teacher of upper elementary school, I’ve read a lot of juvenile fiction, some of it very good. Perhaps some of my most entertaining reading these days is sharing children’s books with my grandchildren!

I was disappointed to discover that though I had plenty of time to read while recovering from last month’s surgery, for the first couple of weeks I wasn’t able to focus well enough to escape into a good book! The after effects of seven hours of anesthetic plus the amount of pain medication that I was using left my poor head a bit addled! Fortunately, that has worn off and I’m reading again. We’re off to Edmonton to start my radiation treatments the day after tomorrow and I’ll be taking several books with me.

What do you like to read? Do you have a favourite author?

 

Meeting Donloree!

/ edebock / 8 Comments

As I’ve mentioned before, one of the perks of blogging is connecting with other bloggers and, in some cases, establishing long distance friendships with them. I first heard of Donloree Hoffman when I read an article in the Edmonton Journal in October 2010.

“Donloree Hoffman is about to do the scariest thing she’s ever done.

She’s going to put on an itsy bitsy teenie weenie purple bedazzled micro-bikini, slip her feet into five-inch Barbie-doll heels, and strut her new lean and toned self in front of some very judgmental people.”

The article’s opening paragraphs captured my attention and I immediately checked out the link to her blog. I’ve been following it ever since.

In the early days, Donloree introduced me to the fascinating world of fitness competition. A leadership coach who is passionate about empowering people to break out of their comfort zone and be the best that they can be, Donloree describes herself as a bodybuilding hobbyist, an avid reader, and a lover of audacious living. She also has a wonderful sense of humour.

Until today, I had never met one of my blogging friends in person but, after spending this morning navigating the maze that is Edmonton’s University Hospital in preparation for tomorrow’s surgery, I did just that! Donloree and I have been trying to connect in person for awhile and this time, it finally happened. When she walked into the Starbucks where we’d arranged to meet, it was like reconnecting with an old friend and we chatted for more than an hour!

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I’m very fortunate that Donloree lives in Edmonton, just two hours from home. There are a few other bloggers that I’d also like to meet but they live in more exotic places like San Antonio, Texas and Dubai! That might be a bit more difficult to arrange!

Aging beauty

/ edebock / 4 Comments

I had no intention of starting a series when I posted “What makes a woman beautiful?” a few days ago, but Michelle’s comment really spoke to me and I feel I must respond. She said

The most beautiful female face I’ve ever seen was the National Silver Cross mother about 25 years ago. It was before Afghanistan, and finding a mother of a person who had died in armed conflict was becoming difficult. I do not recall her name, but she had the most beautiful, kind eyes that sparkled. Even with tears in her eyes as she placed the wreath on the National Cenotaph, all her 95-year-old wrinkles made her look like she was still smiling. She was just stunning.

I had to ask myself why women in our society value youthful appearance so highly.

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The ads that appear in the first few pages of my latest Chatelaine magazine scream the message loud and clear, but do young women really have a monopoly on physical beauty? Let’s use my Mom as an example. There’s no question that she was lovely in her younger days

young Mom

but is she really any less beautiful here at the age of 88 with her great grandson in her arms?

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Though I’m not crazy about my marionette lines and the little wrinkles appearing above my upper lip, I think that a young face, as pretty as it might be, is a bit like an empty canvas waiting for an artist’s brush. In my opinion, believing that beauty belongs only to the young is like thinking that a blank journal is more interesting to read than an autobiography!

That brings me to one of my favourite photos from our time in China. I thought she was beautiful when I first saw her and I still do. I wish I could have spoken to her but language was a barrier. I have no doubt, however, that the lines on her face tell a story… a story of hardship, a story of survival, but hopefully also a story with some happiness in it.

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Do you think she’s beautiful?

What makes a woman beautiful?

/ edebock / 9 Comments

I’ve been thinking a lot about appearance lately and questioning what it is that makes a woman beautiful. It began about a month ago when my Facebook news feed began to fill up with no make-up selfies, photos of fresh faced women without any make-up. Apparently, this was an offshoot of a campaign that originated in Britain in early March as a breast cancer awareness and fundraising endeavor. It quickly went viral. On this side of the pond, the breast cancer connection was lost and the movement became about women being comfortable in their own skin and embracing their natural beauty. Women were to post their no make-up photo then nominate other female friends to do the same. The response was interesting. Many posted their pictures proudly, others with disclaimers apologizing to those who had to see them, while still others refused to post at all.

I enjoyed the pictures but I was saddened by some of the responses. What is it about our culture that tells a woman that she needs to apologize for her natural appearance or worse yet, that she shouldn’t be seen publicly without being fully made up?

The answer is easy; the messages are all around us. Flip open any women’s magazine and you’re instantly inundated by air brushed images promising younger looking skin, flawless complexions, lusher lashes, smoother lips and glossy nails. How easy it is to forget that these are simply advertisements aimed at selling products. Instead, for many, they become the goal, the standard of beauty, and they go to great lengths to try to attain it.

The Bible has something very different to say about beauty.

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.  1 Peter 3:3-4

Though this passage has often been misinterpreted, nowhere does the Bible say that a godly woman shouldn’t braid her hair, wear elaborate jewelry and fine clothes, or use make-up. It simply says that her true beauty shouldn’t depend on these things. It ought to come from inside.

That’s easy to say when you’re comfortable with what you see in the mirror, but what if you really aren’t? I’m waiting for surgery to remove a cancerous tumour from my parotid gland, the largest salivary gland on the left side of my face, and I have no idea what I’ll look like afterward. The best case scenario would leave me with nothing more than an S-shaped scar down the crease in front of my ear, under my ear lobe, and down onto the side of my neck. A change in hairstyle could easily camouflage that. The tumour is deep, however, and removal may require a much more complicated procedure. There’s no way of knowing this in advance, however, so I’ve already signed consent that would allow the surgeon to make a much larger incision and cut through and temporarily move my jawbone if necessary. This procedure would also require a temporary tracheotomy and, of course, the scarring would be much more extensive. In either case, this is very delicate surgery due to the close proximity to a major facial nerve. If possible, the nerve will be saved but there is no guarantee of that. If it cannot be, I will be left with significant drooping on that side of my face.

So, what will I look like when this is over? Will I be one of those people that little children stare at and whose embarrassed mothers hush when they innocently ask, “Why does that lady look so funny?” Will inner beauty shine through a lopsided face? Will I have the courage to wear my scars as a badge of survival?

Tomorrow, I’m going to be attending a Look Good, Feel Better workshop. The program, an initiative of the Canadian Cosmetic, Toiletry and Fragrance Association, is designed to boost the morale of women undergoing cancer treatment by empowering them to manage the effects that cancer and its treatment can have on their appearance. Perhaps I’ll learn something that will help me deal with my post surgery face, whatever it looks like.

Ultimately, however, make-up or not, scars and all, I just want the beauty of Christ to be seen in me.

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The Facebook conundrum

/ edebock / 14 Comments

 

facebook-thumbs-guardian-expressImage: guardianlv.com

 

This morning, Ruth, at Life in the 50’s and beyond, published a post entitled Facebook Be Gone! in which she announced that she had recently deactivated her Facebook account. She cited privacy concerns and the amount of time that she found herself spending on Facebook instead of doing other things as her two primary reasons for making this decision.

Later in the day, I noticed that Leanne, at Leanne Cole Photography, had also written about social media, including Facebook. Her post has generated quite a bit of discussion.

All of this led me to write a post of my own weighing in on the the pros and cons of Facebook!

I joined Facebook late in 2007 not long before we left to spend a year teaching English in Japan. My daughter had been telling me for some time that it was something I needed to do but I’d been dragging my feet. Finally, she set up an account for me, not telling me about it until it was a fait accompli! She was right. Facebook proved to be a marvelous way to keep in touch with people back home while we were away and since returning to Canada, it’s allowed us to maintain many of the relationships that we built while we were there.

It was while we were in Japan that I used Facebook to reconnect with several people from my past including my best friend from high school, a Norwegian exchange student who shared our home for almost a year in the late 1980s and a nephew who had disappeared from our lives for several years after leaving home as a young teenager.

There are a number of things that frustrate me about Facebook but most of my exasperation is not with the website itself. It’s with the people who use it! I might be stepping on toes here but it amazes me how many seemingly intelligent people repost all sorts of myths and tall tales without checking on their validity first. It’s so easy to do using sites like snopes.com or truthorfiction.com.

I can’t help wondering about the lives of people who post what they make for supper every night. If my life was that boring, I’m sure I’d go out and do something completely audacious just to have something more interesting to write about! On the other hand, I’ve collected quite a few good recipes thanks to the people who post those.

I love the status updates that one friend writes about the crazy neighbours who live above her. I know they’re driving her around the bend but her descriptions of their antics are very entertaining! I don’t, however, need to know what happens in anyone’s bedroom other than my own!

Some of the things that people say online absolutely amaze me. Hiding behind the anonymity of their keyboards instead of talking face to face, some are downright rude. Whether intentionally or not, our “almost daughter” Chrissy, is great at initiating fascinating discussions on Facebook but, more than once, I’ve seen her and others like her remove whole conversations because they’ve degenerated into name calling and personal attacks.

Facebook has changed it’s appearance several times over the years that I’ve been using it and for the life of me, I can’t usually see why. Like everyone else, I’m frustrated when that happens and I complain but I soon get used to the new look and carry on. I suspect that the changes often have something to do with making the advertising more noticeable but if that’s the case, I don’t think it’s working very well. I, for one, rarely notice the ads at all! I do recognize, however, that they’re what pays for this free site and keep the myth that Facebook is planning to start charging subscription fees from becoming fact.

Can I live without Facebook? Yes. I had to for the five months that we were in China because it’s blocked there. Would I, like Ruth, choose to live without it? Definitely not! Used wisely, it’s a great communication tool.

Ruth is right when she speaks of the lure of Facebook and complains about the amount of time it eats up. It can definitely be a distraction and a time waster. I know I spend more time checking it than I ought to but I enjoy scrolling through my news feed several times a day looking for bits of real news. I also think it’s a fabulous way to share photos and, because I’ve linked my blog to Facebook, it also brings me readers.

Perhaps it’s greatest value to me at this point, however, is the way that it’s enabled our extended family to carry on a running conversation about the needs and care of my very elderly parents. Using the chat feature, we’ve been able to include nineteen family members scattered across North America in an ongoing discussion about life and death issues. It has been an invaluable tool in helping us come to some very important decisions as well as keeping everyone in the family informed about day to day issues.

So, in spite of the frustrations and the time that’s sometimes wasted, I give Facebook a giant thumbs up!

What about you? What’s your opinion of Facebook