My “Have Done” list

It was Benjamin Franklin who said,

“Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing.”

After running her first half marathon recently, my blogger friend, Donloree, wrote a post entitled The ‘Have Done List’. Some people write bucket lists noting the experiences or achievements that they hope to have or accomplish during their lifetime, but why not a “have done” list instead remembering and celebrating what has already been achieved? As I pondered this idea, I started jotting down some of the craziest and most adventurous things that I’ve ever done. Those are the things that I want on my “have done” list.

Perhaps the most daring thing that I did as a child involved sneaking out of bed and out of the house on a late summer evening with my younger sister and a visiting cousin. I don’t remember how old we were, but I wasn’t more than nine. That would have made my cousin ten and my sister six. In our bare feet, we made our way down to the beach in front of our house and picked our way over the rocks to the public park half a mile away where the annual summer fair was in full swing. Marvelling at the music and the bright lights, we desperately wanted to try out the merry-go-round or maybe even the ferris wheel, but we had no money for tickets. Searching the ground around the various booths and rides, we hoped that a happy fairgoer or two might have accidentally dropped some coins, but our efforts were in vain. Eventually, tired and a bit discouraged, we gave up and headed home along the darkened street which was much easier on our feet than the beach had been.

I was such a quiet, well-behaved child that as an adult I actually began to wonder if this had really happened or if I had only dreamed it. Eventually, I asked my sister if she remembered that night and was delighted to discover that she did! Hidden under my shy exterior, there must have been an adventurous spirit even then!

So what else would be on my “have done” list? Here are a few more from my younger years:

  • As a teen, I walked 25 miles (twice) through the streets of Vancouver in that city’s first two Miles for Millions walkathons. The hugely popular fundraiser for Oxfam Canada was introduced in Canada’s centennial year, 1967, several years before the country went metric. I even had the privilege of meeting one of my heroes, Coast Salish First Nations Chief Dan George, at the starting line of one of these walks.
  • A couple of years later, I spent a night on a tiny island on the Canadian shield without a tent, sleeping bag or any other camping equipment. My sister was in on that adventure too. We slept so close to the campfire that we woke up with tiny holes in our clothes from the sparks!
  • I’ve often paid no heed to an ancient Inuit legend and dared to whistle at the aurora borealis. Some say that that will cause the northern lights to dance while others claim that it will bring them down to earth. Some even fear that they will bring great misfortune or even death. None of these things has happened, of course, but I must include this on my list as the most common question I heard during the year that we lived in Japan was, “Have you seen the aurora?”

When our children were young, we spent many summers on the road camping and exploring Canada and the United States. It was during those years that I:

  • crossed the Arctic Circle

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  • explored the reconstructed Viking settlement at L’Anse aux Meadows on the northern tip of Newfoundland

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  • visited Anasazi cliff dwellings in southwestern Colorado

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The number of memorable items on my “have done” list has grown significantly in the eight years since Richard and I retired from teaching. I’ve blogged about most of these before, but here’s a recap with links to the original posts:

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  • appearing on stage in a teeny, tiny jungle girl costume

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  • riding a tandem bicycle on the city wall at Xian, China where we also saw the amazing army of terra cotta warriors

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  • seeing two of my grandchildren born and cutting their umbilical cords

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  • eating a wide variety of weird and wonderful things including bullfrog

Perhaps, given the most recent happenings in Canadian politics, I should also mention that I once shook hands with Pierre Elliot Trudeau and, incidentally, found him to be a much smaller man than he appeared to be on TV.

Greater than all these things, however, is the fact that I’ve managed to remain married to the same man for 39 years and by far my proudest accomplishment in life has been raising three wonderful kids and watching them become the adults they are today!

My “have done” list could go on and on, but now it’s your turn.

What would you include on your list?

The meaning of dreams

Most of my dreams seem ridiculous and random. If I remember them at all, I certainly don’t analyze them or try to figure out what they might signify. Others, however, are recurring and do seem to have meaning.

As a child and young adult, I often had gory dreams about having all my teeth pulled or knocked out. When this happened, I’d often wake up with a sore jaw, but little did I realize that I was grinding my teeth during the night! Since I started sleeping with a bruxism splint, I’ve never had one of those dreams again.

For many years, in spite of the fact that I enjoyed my teaching career, in the days leading up to each new school year I had what I called my “school dreams“.  These were dreams in which everything went wrong.  All a teacher’s worst nightmares would visit me as the end of August approached! Though I anticipated the beginning of each new school year with excitement, I recognized that my strange dreams were a symptom of the stress involved in teaching. When these dreams started recurring several years after I retired, however, I was puzzled, but I soon figured out that my brain still equates stress with teaching. Regardless of the cause, it still reacts to higher than normal levels of stress by filling my nights with bizarre school dreams!

Last night, I had a series of unusually vivid dreams. In the first one, I was planning to catch a ferry. Where to, I have no idea, but I arrived early and had time to kill so I parked my car a short distance from the ferry terminal and went for a walk through the town which bore no resemblance to any place I’ve ever actually been. As I admired the historic architecture of the town, I found myself walking with another woman who urged me to explore a path that led up and over a hill between some houses. Knowing that I had a limited amount of time, I was reluctant, but I agreed to walk a little ways with her. Before long, I realized that I had gone too far and was in danger of missing my ferry. I turned around and began to run back to my car. I remember running and running and running, frantically hoping that I wouldn’t be too late. And then I woke up.

I don’t remember the second dream quite as well, but I do recall that I was supposed to be attending an awards ceremony at the local school. Shortly before it was due to begin, I was out on the street chatting with various people who all urged me to hurry home and get ready. How I got there is a bit vague, but I ended up back in an apartment, which was apparently my home, trying to figure out what to wear. As I tried on and rejected one outfit after another, I soon realized that it was only a few minutes until the event was to begin. I became more and more frantic, but I continued trying on and rejecting item after item until I finally woke up again!

Each ensuing dream became more vague than the one before, but there was a common theme. In each one, I was going to be late for something. I couldn’t help but wonder if that meant something and so this morning, I googled “the meaning of dreams”. Apparently, according to several sources, dreams of being late represent feelings about having missed an important opportunity. One so-called dream expert suggested that a person ought to respond to these dreams by asking where in your life do you feel that time is running out or what do you need to do before it does. So, I ask myself, were last night’s nocturnal imaginings telling me something of significance or did I simply eat the wrong snack before I went to bed? What, if any, opportunities have I missed?

With another cancer treatment and it’s follow-up scans coming up next week, a night of school dreams probably wouldn’t be too surprising, but the closest I can come to the lost opportunity scenario is the vague feeling that’s been growing within me lately that perhaps I ought to be doing something meaningful with my experiences of the past couple of years. What that might be, I’m not at all sure.

What do you think? Do your dreams have meaning?

Because I can

Here in Canada, we are nearing the end of the longest federal election campaign in recent history. When we go to the polls on October 19th, 78 days will have passed since Prime Minister Stephen Harper asked Governor General David Johnston to dissolve Parliament and call a general election. 78 days of rhetoric and sadly, 78 days of name calling and fear mongering. How glad I am that I don’t live in the US where the electoral process goes on for many months!

Regardless of which country you live in, however, when election day finally rolls around, VOTE! Consider the issues, research the candidates, and then VOTE!

Official turnout for our last federal election, held on May 2, 2011, was 61.1%, only 2.3 percentage points higher than the all-time low of 58.8% in 2008! What is the matter with people? Why does 40% of our population fail to cast a ballot? Are we Canadians really that apathetic?

I will vote, if for no other reason than because I can. It’s a privilege that I don’t take lightly. Women before my time fought long and hard so that I could exercise this right. Women like Nellie McClung, well-known advocate and popular speaker on the subject of women’s suffrage in the early 1900s, who said “Our worthy opponents will emphasize the fact that women are the weaker vessel. Well I should think that a woman who cooks for men, washes and bakes and scrubs and sews for her family could stand the extra strain of marking a ballot every four years.”

The United States began allowing women to vote in 1920, after the ratification of the 19th Amendment to their Constitution. Here in Canada, many women voted for the first time the following year, but it wasn’t until much later that all Canadians had the right to vote. Most “people of colour” were prohibited from voting at the provincial and federal level until the late 1940s and it wasn’t until 1960 that every Canadian of age had the right to vote. That’s right! 1960! Prior to that time, aboriginal Canadians were required to give up their treaty rights and renounce their status under the Indian Act in order to qualify for the vote.

While I consider our record abysmal, there are places where the situation is much worse. Women in Saudi Arabia are registering to vote for the first time in history, but keep in mind that they won’t be able to drive themselves to the polling stations as they are still completely banned from driving. They won’t even be able to leave their homes to go and vote without being accompanied by a male guardian!

On election day, get off your butt and VOTE! Don’t make excuses. Don’t be one of the apathetic masses. Vote, if for no other reason than because you can!

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October!

“I’m so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers.”
L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

October is my favourite month; a bittersweet interlude between summer and winter. Here in Alberta, it arrives amidst a blaze of colour, but by the end of the month, there will likely be snow on the ground. Each golden day is a treasure.

The tiny hamlet of Gwynne, located midway between Camrose and Wetaskiwin, is nestled in a valley that is absolutely gorgeous in the fall. We often take that route on our way to Edmonton, but until today we’d never stopped to explore the area. I recently learned of two hiking trails in the valley, however, and they were today’s destination.

The first, officially called the CPR Canyon Hiking Trail, is a relatively easy 4 km walk along a creek. The name seems apt as the railway follows the creek on the opposite bank and three trains rumbled by while we were hiking. It’s known locally, however, as Chickadee Trail and we soon found out why!

The inquisitive little critters were landing on my outstretched hand before we even took any food out of the pack on Richard’s back. Soon we were sharing lunch!

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There were six geocaches hidden along the trail which added to our fun.

The second trail circled through Pipestone Creek Conservation Lands where we searched out three more geocaches and enjoyed some spectacular views including an oxbow lake.

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There are clearly many more trails criss-crossing the conservation area and we found a lovely little campground close by, so I suspect that we’ll be spending more time there in the future.

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I have no idea how far we walked today, but my knees are telling the tale this evening and it’s time to go soak in a hot bath!

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Hopefully October holds many more days like this one!

What’s stopping you?

Is there something you’ve always wanted to do, but never tried? Somewhere you’ve wanted to go, but never been? Why? What’s stopping you?

Did someone tell you that you couldn’t and you believed them? Maybe you’ve been wounded by a parent, a spouse or a so-called friend. Maybe you were told that you were worthless or that you’d never amount to anything. Maybe now’s the time to prove those naysayers wrong!

Be unstoppable!

I realize that sometimes there are financial constraints or physical restrictions that make it difficult to achieve our dreams, but sometimes those just become excuses.

My daughter-in-law  had her second major back surgery before she graduated from university and she was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis while pregnant with her first child. Six years ago, she was almost bedridden, but on September 12th, she rode her bike 120 gruelling kilometres from Vancouver to Whistler, BC in the RBC Gran Fondo! She has endured more pain in her life than most of us will ever know, but she’s unstoppable!

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Maybe it’s your age that’s holding you back. For some people, the space between “you’re too young” and “I’m too old” is far too short! Pam Lutrell, writer of over50feeling40, one of my favourite fashion blogs, is transitioning into a new career at 62 because she’s unstoppable!

Be unstoppable!

Is it fear that’s stopping you from doing something you really want to do? Perhaps you’re simply afraid to step outside your comfort zone. Michael Jordan, possibly the greatest basketball player of all time, said, “Never say never, because limits, like fears, are often just an illusion.” Yes, fears are just that, an illusion; something we create in our heads that stops us from trying something new or achieving something great. Why not stop the negative self-talk and take a chance?

What is it that you’ve always dreamed of doing?

Be unstoppable!

When my life is over, I’d be happy if my epitaph said, “She was unstoppable!”

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What the heck is vegan leather?

Lately, I’ve noticed more and more ads and fashion blogs referring to garments and handbags made of vegan leather. Really? What the heck is that? As a lover of words, I was compelled to find out.

Vegans are usually defined as a strict vegetarians who omit all animal products, including dairy, from their diets, but The Vegan Society offers a much broader definition. “Veganism is a way of living which seeks to exclude, as far as possible and practicable, all forms of exploitation of, and cruelty to, animals for food, clothing or any other purpose.” Hence, vegan leather.

In reality, though, vegan leather is nothing more than fake or faux leather by a different name. Pleather, as it was once known, is a synthetic leather usually made out of petroleum byproducts such as polyurethane or PVC bonded to a fabric backing. A few are cork or kelp based. Though once deemed tacky, under its new and classier name, pleather is suddenly seen as eco-chic.

Make no mistake though, the production of these synthetic leathers involves excessive levels of toxic substances and since they aren’t fully biodegradable, they produce micro-particles that are ingested by animals and thus enter the food chain at all levels.

Animal-friendly or not, synthetic leather offers advantages to both fashion designers and consumers. The softer, realistic-looking material is a popular choice with designers as it offers them a flexible, versatile textile to work with; one that can be made to sparkle or shine or even be saturated with a rich or bright shade that no tanning process could mimic. Not everyone in the industry is happy to call the fabric vegan leather, however. Some would prefer to avoid the connotation that their clothing is designed exclusively for animal-cruelty advocates.

Like many consumers, I simply like the fact that faux leathers are a nicely priced alternative to the real thing. I can’t help thinking that the new term sounds overly pretentious though and I’ve also noticed that the so-called vegan leather products that I’ve seen advertised tend to be pretty pricey. Could it be that people are paying more for the sense of superiority that comes with the fancier moniker and the feeling that they’re doing something good? With apologies to William Shakespeare, a faux leather by any other name is just as fake!

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One of my latest thrift store finds. The label says it’s “100% polyurethane with 100% rayon woven backing.” It doesn’t say vegan leather. It doesn’t pretend to be anything it isn’t!

Walking on water… sort of!

Last summer when we were camped at beautiful Porteau Cove with Matt, Robin and the boys, I saw something out on the water that I’d never seen before; a lone figure who appeared at first glance to be walking on the water! Can you see him in the early morning mist?

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I soon learned that he was stand up paddleboarding, a sport that combines surfing with kayaking or canoeing and that has become increasingly popular over the past ten years. Watching him brought back delightful memories of the styrofoam paddle board that my parents gave me when I learned to swim over 50 years ago. We lived on the waterfront in those days and I spent countless hours playing on that board. It was meant for lying on, of course, but I had to try kneeling and even standing on it. Kneeling wasn’t too great a challenge, but I never did manage to stand successfully. The board was simply too small and unstable for that, but splash after splash, I had fun trying!

When I saw the stand up paddleboarder at Porteau Cove, something new was immediately added to the bottom of my unwritten bucket list. I had no idea when or where it would happen, but I knew that I wanted to try this new sport. This week, at Barnabas, I had my chance and it was great! My first time out the water was very calm and the width of the board made balancing easy. It really did feel a bit like walking on water. Returning to the dock, however, I approached too quickly and took a spectacular spill! Fortunately, I managed not to hurt myself and was eager to try again another day. This time, there were small waves to contend with providing a bit more of a workout for my knees and core muscles. I managed to end my time on the water much more gracefully the second time around though and left determined to try the sport again. Fortunately, there are a number of places where I can rent a board when we’re back this way again.

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Never too old to try something new, I hope!

Barnabas

Last Sunday afternoon, we left our son’s home in North Vancouver and headed for Gibsons, setting of the popular Canadian comedy-drama series, The Beachcombers, that ran from October 1972 to December 1990. There we climbed aboard the Kinbasket Queen and left the rest of the world behind! Our destination was a five day family retreat at Barnabas Landing, perched on a hillside on Keats Island overlooking Howe Sound.

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Taking it’s name from the New Testament character whose name means Son of Encouragement, Barnabas Family Ministries has been dedicated to strengthening, educating and encouraging families since 1986. Barnabas is sometimes referred to as a “thin place”, one of those wonderful places where the boundary between heaven and earth seems especially thin and we feel just a little closer to eternity. This past week was certainly like that, a time when we left the stresses and concerns of this world behind immersing ourselves in the beauty of the location, enjoying luxurious accommodations and savoury meals, and being renewed physically, mentally and spiritually.

Lamplighter's Cottage, our home away from home for the week

Lamplighter’s Cottage, our home away from home for the week

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Our days were full but energizing. Every morning after breakfast the children went off with their various age group leaders for a wide variety of activities while the adults attended sessions with our speaker. Afternoons were family activity time with many options to choose from. On Monday, Richard and I joined a group for a hike across the island to Bridgeman’s Bluff, one of the higher points on the island, where we enjoyed the spectacular view.

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Other afternoons were spent taking long walks along the rocky beach, doing crafts, enjoying a wide variety of waterfront activities and visiting the General Store for ice cream treats.

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Bedtime for the kids was a highlight for the young parents because it was taken care of by the staff! That’s right! While the adults attended another session with the speaker, staff tucked their little ones into bed and continued to look after them until 10:00 PM. After our sessions, the General Store was open again for the adults to enjoy a steamed milk or a cup of tea and a snack before heading back to their rooms and taking over their parental duties.

Our speaker for the week was leadership coach, Mark Warren, who specializes in helping people discover and experience their personal life callings. This was Matt and Robin’s third summer retreat at Barnabas and Mark was speaker at their first one. They enjoyed him so much that they specifically chose this week in order to hear him again and I can definitely see why. I found myself looking forward to each session. Learning about our core strengths and exploring our personality types, we came away with lots to consider and apply. We also learned about empathy and how to diagnose and master the stories in our heads about other people and how they affect communication and relationships. A dynamic Christian, Mark applied biblical principles to all that he taught us.

In addition to being a retreat centre, Barnabas is also a working farm and much of what we ate during the week came from its organic gardens. Everything was cooked from scratch and was delicious! With the exception of one formal, adult-only dinner, meals were served buffet style on the Orchard Terrace, a casual outdoor setting. Yes, we were well fed mentally, spiritually and physically!

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Tote-ally awesome!

When I read “Crashing the Cancer Club“, Jenny Charlesworth’s story of surviving cervical cancer, in the March 2015 issue of Chatelaine magazine, I immediately responded with a letter to the editor via email. I’d completely forgotten about that until I flipped open the May issue and saw my letter in print! A bright pink tag announced that it was “This Month’s Winner”!

I vaguely remembered seeing a tiny note at the bottom corner of previous Letters pages announcing the chance to win a prize for writing a winning letter, but I didn’t give it much thought. I was just happy to see my letter in print! Sometime later, I looked back at the March issue and saw that the prize that was being offered was a blender. I already had a perfectly good blender and no real need for another one, so I wasn’t even concerned about the fact that I hadn’t included my mailing address with my letter.

Almost exactly a month ago, in the middle of June, I received a surprise email from Dominique at Chatelaine telling me that I’d won a leather tote from The Sak and asking for my address and phone number!

Leather tote or blender? Which would I rather have? I looked up The Sak website and checked out the many tote bags on offer. I love my blender, especially the fruit smoothies that I often make in it, but it was no contest. There were lots of bags that I could visualize myself carrying and I began to wonder which one would soon be mine!

Today, it arrived by courier… the Palisades soft leather tote in the shitake tassel design. I love it’s casual, slightly bohemian look. With it’s spacious fully lined interior, zippered inside pocket and magnetic closure, it has plenty of room for essentials like my wallet, cell phone, sunscreen and camera. In fact, I have a feeling that it’s going to be an ideal travel companion! I wonder where we’ll go together?

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What does retirement look like?

What does retirement look like to you?

One of my favourite blogs is Over 50 Feeling 40 by San Antonio, Texas blogger, Pamela Lutrell. While essentially a fashion blog, it’s much more than that. In Pam’s own words, it’s “a style blog about strength, confidence and joy.” She encourages midlife women to not only look their best and feel their best, but to be the very best that they can be. The one topic that Pam and I seem to disagree on is retirement.

At 62, I have been retired for eight years. At 61, Pam doesn’t see retirement in her future. She recently left her position as a high school journalism teacher and is presently searching for a new career. Why? “Many think we are suppose to retire to the golf course and put hard work behind us. I ponder how long I will work hard a lot lately… I think it is healthy and want to continue doing it as long as possible,” she wrote in a recent post.

Though I may be putting words in her mouth, I get the impression that Pam sees retirement as similar to being put out to pasture; no longer being able to accomplish anything of value. Not me! That’s definitely not what my retirement looks like.

So what has it looked like so far?

Retirement has included fulfilling long held dreams like teaching English in Japan and later, China. One might argue that that wasn’t retirement. After all, we worked hard and we earned a paycheque. It wasn’t really about the work or the money, however. Those were simply what allowed us to be there. It was all about adventure; about living shoulder to shoulder with the people of another land and learning about their culture. It was about traveling to other locations in Asia during our holiday breaks. You can read about those and other retirement adventures by clicking on the appropriate country names in the sidebar.

Retirement brought some unexpected surprises. Learning to operate a tractor and a combine definitely wasn’t part of this city bred girl’s retirement plan, but several years of helping a friend at seeding time and harvest gave me more joy than I could ever have imagined and instilled within me a love for the land that I never thought possible.

Retirement has included volunteering; everything from driving elderly friends to medical appointments to spending a summer doing pastoral supply on the tiny Pacific island of Saipan. Over the past two years, my health has curtailed our ability to spend extended periods of time overseas, but how thankful I am that we retired early enough to do those things while we could! These days, volunteering includes online mentoring, helping younger women deal with some of the issues that made my life most difficult during my younger years.

We’ve always believed in lifelong learning, so retirement has also included further education. Thanks to the internet, over the past year, I was able to audit two university level courses through Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary in Fort Worth, Texas from the comfort of my own living room.

Retirement has also given me more time to pursue my passion for writing, mostly through the blog, but I presently have another article awaiting publication as well. In addition to my own writing, I’ve edited university papers and a masters thesis for friends and family and I was even contacted by a university professor in Portugal who sometimes publishes research papers in English. He was looking for someone to do editorial work for him and found my name online. Every now and then, I receive an email from Jose with another research proposal or paper for me to edit.

Retirement has meant time on the golf course, but believe it or not, we’ve golfed much less since we retired than we did before! We simply haven’t had time. Life has been too full, too busy, too exciting.

My husband’s favourite definition of retirement is being able to do what you want to do when you want to do it. For me, that meant purposely lying awake for about a hour at 4:30 this morning listening to the music of the rain outside my window (we’ve been experiencing a severe drought here in central Alberta) and then sleeping in until 9:00. Other days, it means an alarm clock ringing early in the morning so we can set off on another adventure.

I realize that we were fortunate to be able to retire as early as we did and that not everyone has that luxury, but we lived carefully throughout our working years with that goal in mind. My pension doesn’t come close to being enough to live on, but fortunately, my husband’s is adequate to meet our needs.

Do we ever regret retiring as early as we did? Never! Would we do it again? In a heartbeat! We loved our careers, but they didn’t define us. Unlike Pam, I don’t need a job to go to to give my life a sense of purpose or to make me feel fulfilled.

What about you? Are you retired yet? Do you want to be? What do you think is the perfect age to retire?

What does retirement look like to you?