Author: edebock

Judith Viorst: Embracing age with style

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After writing about heavier topics the past couple of Fridays, I wanted to write something lighter this week and I really felt like it was time for another fashion related post. Earlier in the week, I was still thinking about what to write when Pam Lutrell shared a link to an article on her blog, Over50Feeling40, that caught my attention.

If you’re like me, you might be familiar with the children’s book, Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, but what I didn’t know was that the author, Judith Viorst, has published at least 50 books, many for children, but some for older readers. In fact, I didn’t really know anything about Viorst until I read the article, At 94, I’m Still Worth Looking At.

It was fun to read about her “looks” throughout the years. There was her Greenwich Village Girl look in her 20s followed by her With-It Mommy look in her 30s. Later came her Hat Lady years when she seldom went out without a hat from her vast collection. Hats, she says, flattered her face, drew attention away from her aging body, and hid her hair on bad hair days. I can identify with that! Now 94, she says she’s not finished finding new looks yet. Her newest look is Tattooed Grandma. No, she hasn’t gone under the needle. Instead, she wears a temporary tattoo of a rose on the side of her neck, slightly below her right ear. Each tattoo lasts about a week.

I hope I look half as good if I live to be 94!

But what really resonated with me was what Viorst had to say about aging and invisibility, something I’ve written about before on the blog. She asks, “Why does it feel so important to be seen? Aren’t there more meaningful things to think about, to read about, to do?” She writes about people who feel that attention to looks will “obscure and distract us from what is truly significant”. In response she writes, “But the people I love the most embrace what’s playful and fun as well as what’s profound. Celebrate as well as cogitate. And are willing to discuss, without apology, both eyeliner and the meaning of the universe.”

I love that! In times like these when the world seems upside down and sometimes tragedy hits close to home, regardless of our age, let’s not forget to embrace both the serious and the fun side of life. Right now, I’m looking for joy in the little things. In the coming of spring. In the tiny green shoots coming up in the garden beneath my kitchen window and the teeny, tiny buds forming on the trees.

What not to say to grieving parents

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This has been a very tough week. Young friends of ours were involved in a tragic accident that took the life of one of their children. Two others are still in critical condition. Immediately after the accident occurred, we were called and asked to go to the hospital because, as parents who lost a child a long time ago, “you will know what to do.”

What do you do in a situation like that? What do you say? We went, but we said very little. There really are no words that are adequate at a time like that. A hug, a gentle touch, or even just your presence might be all that is needed.

Sometimes even the most well-intentioned words can be hurtful, so here are a few things not to say to a grieving parent.

  1.  “I know how you feel.” No, you don’t! Regardless of how close you are or even if you’ve lost a child yourself, you can’t know how another person feels.
  2. “She’s in a better place.” Even if you believe that to be true, it doesn’t address the parent’s tremendous sense of loss. A parent wants their child to be right here, right now.
  3. “God must have needed another angel.” First of all, that’s theologically unsound. People don’t become angels when they die and even if they did, according to Revelation 5:11 God has “thousands upon thousands” of angels. He doesn’t need another one. 
  4. “Everything happens for a reason.” What possible comfort could that be to a parent who has lost a child?
  5. “At least you have other children.” or “You can always have another child.” While these statements might be true, one child can never replace another. 
  6. “Be thankful for the time you had with him.” Unless the parent expresses this sentiment themselves, it’s not appropriate to tell them how they should feel. 
  7. “Call me if there’s anything I can do.” While this is a generous thought, asking for help is difficult at the best of times and a parent in the midst of profound grief might not even know what they need. Instead, look for something specific that you can to do, then offer or if it’s appropriate, simply go ahead and do it.
  8. Finally, try not to make suggestions about what you think they should or shouldn’t do. As Ernest Hemingway once said, “In our darkest moments, we don’t need advice.”

Do offer sincere condolences. It’s enough to simply say, “I’m so sorry for your loss.” Don’t be afraid to show emotion and as time goes by, don’t hesitate to mention the child by name and to share favourite memories of him. 

Lastly, remember that the old adage “time heals all wounds” is not true. While the intense pain of immediate loss does soften with time, a parent’s heart never truly heals. We don’t “get over” our loss, we simply learn to live with it.  

Book of the month – March 2025

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I confess that I haven’t been very faithful about posting monthly book reviews lately, but I’m determined to change that.

The Book Thief

Markus Zusak

I’ve been avoiding books set during World War II lately. Over the past year or so I’d read so many of that popular genre that I was growing weary of them, but The Book Thief was different from most.

Nine-year-old Liesel Meminger is illiterate when she comes to live with foster parents Hans and Rosa Hubermann in the fictional town of Molching, Germany in 1939, but she brings with her a copy of The Grave Digger’s Handbook, found partially hidden in the snow beside her brother’s grave. With the help of her accordion-playing foster father, she learns to read and a love affair with books begins. She steals books from a Nazi book-burning, from the mayor’s wife’s library, and from anywhere else that books are found, but she isn’t a thief without a moral compass. She only steals a book when she has read the ones she already has, usually several times over. She reads with her neighbour, with a young Jewish man hidden in the Hubermann’s basement, with the mayor’s wife when she goes to pick up laundry, and in the neighbourhood shelter when bombs are falling.

In the author’s native Australia, The Book Thief is generally classified Adult Fiction, but it has often been marketed as a Young Adult novel in North America. It has, however, been challenged several times when included in school curriculums because of violence, course language, and disturbing scenes. While I wouldn’t consider it inappropriate for teenage readers, it certainly isn’t juvenile in writing style or theme. In fact, the style is so out of the ordinary that I actually found it difficult to get into at first, but I’m glad I persevered. Character development is one of the books greatest strengths and perhaps the most unusual thing about it is the use of Death as the narrator.

And now it’s your turn. If you’ve read The Book Thief, what did you think of it? Have you read any good books lately? What are you reading now?

Elbows up, Canada!

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“Elbows up!” has become a rallying cry for Canadians as we face looming threats from south of our border, but what does it mean? Where did it come from? The phrase actually had its origin in hockey which seems entirely appropriate for a nation so obsessed with the sport.

Canadian-born Gordie Howe, also known as Mr. Hockey, actually had a second nickname: Mr. Elbows. Humble, generous and gentlemanly off the ice, he was known for wielding his elbows like weapons when he was battling for the puck. It’s such an enduring part of the Gordie Howe legend that a bronze statue outside Saskatoon’s SaskTel Centre portrays the hometown hero with his left elbow held high, as if fending off an invisible opponent.

In these days of punishing tariffs on Canadian exports and repeated gibes from the American president about becoming the 51st state, Gordie Howe would seem to be a good example of what it means to be Canadian. We are known worldwide for our unfailing politeness. We open doors for strangers and if you bump into us, we apologize, but clearly, when we’re threatened from outside, we respond with elbows up!

At protests across the country, Canadians have chanted the phrase and held their placards high. #ElbowsUp has been appearing all over social media, as both a call to stand against the threats and a warning to our neighbours that although Canadians might be polite, we’re not pushovers. We’re a bit like siblings on the playground. We might squabble amongst ourselves, but let an outsider threaten one of us and we come together in solidarity!

Now that we are facing a federal election, my fear is that our polarized views on who should lead the country in this current battle will divide us again. More than ever, during these unprecedented times, we need to remain unified. We need to stand together shoulder to shoulder with our elbows up. I pray that regardless of which party comes out on top and which leader is chosen, we will do exactly that.

Elbows up, Canada! 

Strong and free!

Returning to the stage!

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For many years, community theatre was a big part of my life, but the last time I was on the stage was pre-COVID. By the time the pandemic restrictions were lifted and our local theatre group began working on another play, I had moved on to other pursuits. For their next two plays, I was a member of the audience which definitely felt weird! 

Then early last fall there was an audition call that I absolutely could not pass up. For twenty years or more, the group had been talking about doing a musical, but we just didn’t have the talent necessary to pull it off. That has changed, however, and Flagstaff Players had finally decided to tackle Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. I didn’t even stop to think about whether or not I could fit this into my schedule. I had to do it!

I am not particularly musical, but I can carry a tune in a group and I’ll be singing in the women’s chorus. This is the largest cast we’ve ever had and I have the honour of being the oldest member! For me, one of the the greatest joys of acting in community theatre has been sharing the stage with some of my former students. This time, not only am I doing that, but the youngest member of the women’s chorus is the teenage daughter of a former student! Does that make me feel old? Not really! Being part of a production like this absolutely energizes me and I didn’t realize until this week that I’m probably old enough to be the mother or grandmother of every other member of the chorus! That’s okay; I’m sure there were older women in Canaan and Egypt. After all, Joseph lived to be 110 and his father, Jacob, died at 147!

There are a lot of superstitions connected with the theatre. Many stage actors swear that a bad dress rehearsal means that opening night will go well. Our final dress rehearsal on Wednesday wasn’t bad, but there were certainly some little glitches that we are keen to correct. Tonight is opening night and we are ready! We’ll be doing four shows in total; two this weekend and two next. If you’re local, I hope to see you there!  

Time for a change

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Although there’s been plenty of talk about doing away with daylight savings time here in Alberta, it hasn’t happened yet and I’m glad. Yes, we lost an hour of sleep last Saturday night, but I’m loving the extra hour of daylight every day!

Speaking of time and change, I’ve decided that it’s time for a change here on the blog. I’m finding it more and more difficult to come up with a fashion post every single week. When I introduced Fashion Friday in March 2016, I had no idea how long I’d be able to keep it going. I think 9 years and more than 400 posts has been a pretty good run! If you’re one who follows me for those Friday posts, please don’t panic though! I’m not quitting completely. I still plan to write about fashion, just not as often, and I still plan to publish a post every Friday. Some will be about fashion and some will explore other topics. I do hope you’ll continue to follow along.

So as not to be completely devoid of fashion news today, I do have a couple of things to share. Northern Reflections, one of Canada’s most recognizable fashion brands, has been acquired by Putman Investments, the same company that was responsible for revitalizing a number of other well-known retail brands including Toys “R” Us and Babies “R” Us Canada, Sunrise Records, and UK-based HMV. While customers may see a few changes over the coming months, the company is committed to maintaining approximately 105 stores across Canada. On a similar note, Ricki’s and Cleo, the two Canadian fashion retailers whose demise I previously wrote about here, have also been purchased out of creditor protection by Putman Investments. I definitely look forward to seeing what their revival looks like and I’m very happy that the rescuing company is Canadian!

On a more personal note, I’ll also share a change that took place in my life about a week ago. Considering the fact that I had never even once attended a patient support group meeting, it might seem a bit crazy, but I agreed to become co-lead of the CNETS patient support group here in Alberta! CNETS is the Canadian Neuroendocrine Tumour Society and neuroendocrine is the cancer that I’ve had for over 11 years. When I was first diagnosed back in 2013, support group meetings took place in person in Edmonton, over two hours from my home. Since I already had the support of family, friends, and prayer partners around the world, I really didn’t feel a need to get involved. Like so many other things, with the onset of COVID, the meetings went online and they’ve remained that way since except that there haven’t been very many of them in the past couple of years. The previous leader was feeling burned out and no one had stepped up to take his place. When a fellow member of the CNETS Advocacy Advisory Board who also lives in Alberta asked me to consider joining her as co-lead, I was very hesitant. I don’t need a patient support group, I told myself, but the answer I heard in my heart was “maybe the group needs you”. So here I am, jumping into something brand new. Oh well, just like Daylight Savings Time, change can be a good thing!

Image: Pixabay

Simple skin care

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What’s the one thing that every human being wears every single day? Their skin, of course! Unlike our clothing, we can’t buy a new skin when the old one starts to show signs of wear and tear. An effective skin care routine is the only way to protect this most important “garment” and keep it looking and feeling its best.

There are a myriad of products available, but skin care doesn’t have to be complicated. The important thing is to choose the right products for your skin type… oily, dry, or combination… and then use them consistently.

My daily routine involves just three products; a cleanser, a day lotion, and a night cream. Morning skin care should focus on prevention and protection, so I simply wash my face, neck, and decolletage with warm water and apply a moisturizing day lotion with SPF. Nighttime is about cleansing and repair, so that’s when I wash with the cleanser before applying my night cream. When I was younger my face was oilier and I also used a toner, but as skin tends to get drier with age, I eventually found that I didn’t need it anymore.

I’ve been using Olay products for years and have always been happy with them, but unfortunately they’re made in the United States. In light of the current president’s reprehensible behaviour toward my country, I felt the need to find an affordable made in Canada alternative. Yesterday I spent over an hour in a very informative free online consultation with a Beauty Advisor from Marcelle, a company that has been caring for Canadian skin for 150 years. While the products are available in most London Drugs and Shoppers Drug Marts as well as Walmart, I plan on placing an online order to take advantage of the International Women’s Day sale that’s on until March 16. Once I’ve used the products for awhile, I’ll let you know what I think.

I would be remiss if I didn’t also mention sunscreen. As much as I love sunshine, it isn’t friendly to our skin. In fact, in spite of the fact that I’ve always been diligent about using sunscreen when I spend time outdoors, I’m presently healing from a treatment of liquid nitrogen to a spot under my right eye where the rays of the sun, intensified by the lens of my glasses, did some damage. Unfortunately, I’m also going to have to search for a replacement for my favourite sunscreen as it, like so many other things, is produced in the States. I’d better do that soon before the last of the snow disappears from the golf course and the hiking trails!

Celebrating wellness

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In 2021, Alberta Blue Cross launched the Faces of Wellness program to celebrate Albertans who are champions of wellness in their communities whether by making positive lifestyle changes, promoting a health-related cause, making the most of life while living with a chronic condition, standing up for mental health, or being a role model for others. I was completely unaware of the program until early last fall when I saw a post about how to apply or nominate someone else for the 2024 award. The deadline to enter hadn’t passed yet, so I thought “why not?” It would be another opportunity to educate someone about neuroendocrine cancer even if it was only the contest judges.

The application process involved writing a detailed story outlining the individual’s wellness experience, how they embraced the courage to overcome, and examples of how they live a life of wellness and regularly encourage others to do the same. I wasn’t sure how I could accomplish all that in the limited space that was allowed, but after writing a longer version and then seriously editing it, this is what I came up with.

Eleven years ago, I was diagnosed with stage 4 neuroendocrine cancer (NET), a disease that even my family doctor had never heard of. For several years, I had been experiencing symptoms similar to those of several more common conditions and my slow-growing cancer was initially misdiagnosed as gastritis.

My cancer isn’t curable, but ongoing treatment keeps it from growing and spreading. Since my NET diagnosis, routine scans detected 2 unrelated cancers which were removed surgically. More recently, I was also diagnosed with type 2 diabetes.

In spite of all this, I am thriving! I’m not dying of cancer, I’m living with it. Wellness is about more than physical health. Spiritual, emotional, and social well-being are equally important. I have a strong faith and supportive family and friends who make the journey easier. A positive attitude won’t cure my cancer, but it certainly makes living with it easier.

Maintaining wellness involves actively practicing healthy habits. Eating well and being physically active are vital. I’m almost 72, but I exercise 5 days a week and love nothing more than paddling my kayak, going for a hike, or playing a round of golf.

From the beginning of my NET journey, it has been my mission to educate people in my community and elsewhere about the disease. I’m actively involved in patient advocacy as a member of the Advocacy Advisory Board to the Canadian Neuroendocrine Tumour Society. I’m involved in initiatives to try to make the patient experience better for all of us including those who have not yet been diagnosed. It’s not uncommon for people to experience symptoms for 5 to 7 years before receiving a correct diagnosis. That needs to change! Neuroendocrine cancer is the fastest growing class of cancer worldwide, but it’s not well-known in the medical world. That, too, needs to change! I’m passionate about making a difference by being a voice for change.

I sent off my submission and hardly gave it another thought until sometime in December when I received an email informing me that I had been chosen as a runner-up and would be receiving a $25 Atmosphere gift card in the mail once the Canadian postal strike came to an end. Apparently this is a face of wellness!

And so now, for those of you who have been following my wellness journey, an update. February was a month of tests, scans, and appointments. I was supposed to meet with my specialist on Wednesday to discuss the results of many of those tests including a CT scan that was done the week before. That appointment had to be postponed, however, because the scan results weren’t available yet and let me tell you, scanxiety (scan + anxiety) is real! I had already seen the results of the other tests online and most of them were good, but there was one that concerned me and made me wonder if the cancer was beginning to grow or spread again. Thankfully, the scan results finally showed up online at 10 o’clock last night! While I don’t understand all of the medical jargon and will have to wait for the specialist to interpret some of it, the final statement was clear, “No evidence of progressive disease from November.” In other words, nothing has changed since my last scan three months ago!

Over the past month, I’ve also learned that my A1C (3 month blood sugar level) continues to be stable (with medication), my blood pressure is excellent (also with medication), and my bone density has not deteriorated over the past two years. This is all very good news and, in spite of having cancer, I’m feeling pretty blessed to be a face of wellness!

Finding hope during challenging times

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It’s Friday, so normally this would be a fashion post, but considering the state of the world today, writing about clothing seems frivolous and I just couldn’t get my mind (or my heart) around the idea. These days, I just want to wear my favourite jeans and coziest sweaters on repeat.

It’s also the end of the month, so I should be writing a book review, but that isn’t happening either. Oh, I’ve been reading. In fact, I’ve been reading quite a bit, but I’ve been escaping into frivolous, fluffy novels, not the sort of thing that I would bother to review or recommend. 

As I was leaving my doctor’s office yesterday (more about that in a future post), I decided to stop at a thrift store on my way home. I immediately spotted this and it ended up being my only purchase. I’m not sure where it will eventually end up in my newly renovated home, but for now it’s in a spot where I see it every time I enter the kitchen.

You might remember that, for the second year in a row, hope is my one word for the year and if there’s ever a time when we need hope I think it might be now. So how do we find hope and hang onto it amidst the barrage of negative occurrences in the world around us today? One way of doing this is to focus on what is good and right in our day to day experiences. This doesn’t mean living with our heads in the sand, but it might mean less time watching the news or scrolling the internet. 

According to Wikipedia, hope is “an optimistic state of mind”. It’s a glass half full attitude. It’s being able to imagine positive outcomes and when possible, acting to achieve them. That’s what I want the new sign in my kitchen to remind me of.

Like the puddles on the street and the water dribbling out of our downspouts remind me that the long cold winter is almost over and spring is coming, I want to be reminded that there are still more people in the world who want equity and justice than those who are fighting for the opposite. Believing that gives me hope.     

What gives you hope today? 

The Canadian shopping conundrum

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For the most part, I try to avoid mentioning politics on the blog, but as a Canadian I can’t sit by and say nothing when our closest neighbour, ally, and trade partner decides to become a bully and starts threatening our sovereignty. There might not be a lot that I can do about the situation, but I can’t do nothing. There’s too much at stake!

If there’s one thing that the present crisis has done, it has drawn Canadians together. We are seeing a kind of collective nationalism that goes far beyond cheering for the right hockey team. Canada is not for sale! We are not interested in becoming the 51st state and thousands of us are saying so with every grocery item we buy. Since money seems to be what the individuals behind the bullying understand best, I have joined an informal movement of fellow Canadians in boycotting products made in the United States. It’s first and foremost a shop Canadian movement, but beyond that, it’s about buying anything except American.

It’s not easy. Grocery shopping takes a lot longer these days as we squint at the small print on labels and try to figure out where the products we’re used to buying come from. Sometimes, as in the case of Campbell’s soups and some Kellogg’s cereals, the label reads “Product of USA” and we put the item back on the shelf, but it’s not always that straightforward. There’s “Made in Canada” which means that at least 51% of the total cost of the product’s creation had to have occurred in Canada. “Product of Canada” indicates that at least 98% of the total cost was incurred in Canada. But then there’s “Made in Canada with imported ingredients” or “Made in Canada from domestic and imported ingredients” with no indication where those imported ingredients came from. There’s also “Imported for _______” but again, nothing to say where the item is imported from.

I tried to do a bit of “investigative journalism” in preparation for writing this post and to help with my personal shopping decisions, but I wasn’t very successful. I already knew from reading the labels that Green Giant frozen vegetables are grown and packaged in Canada, but that the packaging is printed in the United States. When I emailed the company to ask why the printing wasn’t done in Canada, I received a very generic sounding response telling me that Green Giant is a brand that originated in the United States and that it has facilities in both Canada and the US, but that didn’t answer my question. Probing a bit further, I received a second reply assuring me that the company is proud to source their vegetables from farmers in Alberta, Ontario, and Quebec, but still no answer to my original question.

The label on my Kraft Peanut Butter jar says nothing about where it was made, but the KraftHeinz website told me that it was “proudly prepared in Canada”. While there’s a limited amount of peanut farming in southern Ontario, I know that it doesn’t produce enough to provide thousands of Canadian households with peanut butter. When I emailed KraftHeinz to ask where the peanuts are imported from, I was told all about how peanut butter is prepared and packaged and assured that “all ingredients used in Kraft products comply with our rigorous food safety standards” but after inquiring more than once, I still wasn’t told where the peanuts come from. I finally wrote, “I can only assume that your reluctance to give me this information is due to the fact that they are American grown and you realize that I, like many Canadians, am refusing to buy American products due to the fact that our closest neighbour and trade partner is now threatening our sovereignty. If I am wrong about this, please let me know.” I received no response to that, so Kraft Peanut Butter will no longer be on my grocery list. I had a very similar experience with Mondelēz International when I tried to find out where Triscuit crackers are imported from. 

Finding fresh produce is especially problematic in a country with long winters and a very short growing season, but I’ve been able to buy Canadian grown potatoes and carrots as well as tomatoes, lettuce, cucumbers, peppers, and mushrooms. I’ve been enjoying bananas from Guatemala and blueberries from both Mexico and Peru, but the only nice looking oranges that I’ve been able to find were grown in California, so they stayed in the store.

Of course, boycotting American products goes far beyond the grocery store. My favourite toothpaste is made in Mexico, but it’s a product of Colgate-Palmolive, a huge U.S. corporation, so where do we draw the line? The flouride gel that I’ve had to use every day since I lost one of my parotid glands to cancer over ten years ago, is made in Canada, but my skin care products, shampoo, and conditioner are all imported from the States. Obviously, I’ll have to look for other brands to try. I’ve already found a replacement for the Tide laundry detergent that I’ve used for years. I’ll be trying Canadian-made Tru Earth laundry strips.

Shopping ethically is further complicated for me by the fact that I try to avoid buying products from China which is notorious for its human rights abuses. Given the present situation, however, if forced to choose, I would probably buy a Chinese product over an American one.

Before I close, I want to assure my American readers that I fully understand that many of you are as dismayed as I am about what is happening in your country and our hearts go out to you at this difficult time. We also know that the tariffs that your leader is threatening to impose will be as hard on you as consumers as they are on us.