Remembering my father

The blog has been unusually quiet for the past week and a half. There was no Fashion Friday post last week and nothing in honour of International Women’s Day yesterday. My father passed away less than 48 hours after I published the last post. All I’ve written since then is his eulogy and a myriad of lists. Lists of things to do and people to contact. In fact, I wrote so many lists that Richard suggested perhaps I needed to make a list of my lists!

As I worked on the eulogy, when we chatted with Dad’s pastor while planning the memorial service, and when we visited with friends and family after the service, it was comforting to recall who Dad was before macular degeneration robbed him of his sight, a stroke stole most of his speech and mobility, and in his final months, dementia began to weaken his mind. My Dad was many things. He was a kind and generous man who was accepting of all people. He had a keen scientific mind, but also loved good literature and often quoted poetry to us. Above all else though, Dad was an adventurer. Even though it was very far removed, he was proud of his Gypsy heritage!

After graduating from the University of British Columbia in the spring of 1946 with an honours degree in chemical engineering, Dad found a job up the coast in the pulp and paper town of Powell River. That fall, he bought an old 24-foot wooden boat powered by an ancient 1927 car engine. With a friend, he sailed it up the coast from New Westminster to Powell River where he spent many hours over the next year sanding, re-caulking, and painting the hull and having the engine overhauled. He also met his bride-to-be that fall and the summer after they were married, they spent two weeks puttering up the coast in that old wooden boat. Apparently it rained every day but one, but that didn’t deter them from further adventures!

It was also during the Powell River years that Dad took up mountain climbing. He was a member of the BC Mountaineering Club for many years and ascended many peaks in the Powell River area as well as around Vancouver and on Vancouver Island. Dad always had a passion for seeing what was in the next valley, behind the next hill, or around the next corner. As a climber, he had at least one first ascent because, in his words, he was mad enough go one mountain further back than anyone else had ever bothered!

Dad loved to get away to quiet and remote places. For our very first camping trip as a family, he piled Mom and three kids into the little rowboat that he’d made with his own hands and rowed us across an isolated inlet to a rocky point where we would set up camp and stay for a week. A second trip in the rowboat brought the big canvas tent and the rest of our camping gear across. We had so much fun that we returned to the same spot the following summer!

After we moved to Vancouver in 1963, Dad’s passion for the path less traveled took us to some of the most remote places in BC that were accessible by road. As a child, I remember wondering if some of them were really roads at all and if we were going to get permanently lost! In 1967, we drove the then mostly unpaved Alaska Highway all the way to Anchorage. The following year, Dad chartered a little floatplane and we flew into Garibaldi Lake to spend a couple of weeks camping, climbing, and exploring. While we were there, Dad and I climbed Mount Price together.

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Dad on the summit of Mount Price

Just before Christmas 1968, Dad accepted a job with the newly formed Government of the Northwest Territories. He moved to Yellowknife in January while the rest of us stayed in Vancouver until the end of the school year. Our last long road trip as a family took us from Vancouver to our new home in Yellowknife with a side trip to visit Wood Buffalo National Park. Dad’s role with the territorial government involved quite a bit of travel, sometimes to comfortable spots in southern Canada, but mostly by small aircraft into settlements across the Arctic. On one of those trips, he froze his fingertips while desperately clinging to a komatik (sled) as it bounced across the ice and snow behind an Inuit man on a snowmobile.

In the early 1970s, Dad decided that it was time for he and Mom to begin seeing more of the world. With my younger siblings, who were still living at home, they spent the summers of 1973 and 76 exploring Europe. In typical Dad fashion, those trips took them off the popular tourist trail to some more remote and unusual destinations including Leningrad and Moscow.

In May of 1982, Dad retired and in his words, he and Mom became homeless wanderers. Their belongings were shipped to Vancouver and put into storage while they spent most of the following year traveling North America and sleeping in the back of their little Malibu station wagon. After returning to Vancouver and living in a rented apartment for six months, it was time to set off on an even more audacious adventure. Dad ordered a Volkswagen camper van from a dealership in Vancouver to be picked up at the factory in Germany. Rather than flying directly to Germany, they got there via Japan, South Korea, Hong Kong, two weeks in China, and the Trans Siberian railroad across the Soviet Union. After picking up the Volkswagen, they spent more than a year living in it and roaming around Europe and the Middle East before finally shipping it back to Canada. Sometime later, while a niece housesat for them, Dad and Mom were off on yet another adventure living in a rented van in Australia for several months. It was there that they survived a head on collision virtually unscathed.

In retirement, when he wasn’t traveling, Dad quickly learned that there’s no end of things to do as long as you don’t want to be paid. He spent three years working as volunteer office manager and treasurer for the Africa Community Technical Service, an organization committed to providing clean, accessible water to isolated communities in Africa. That led to yet more travel as he and Mom spent seven weeks in Kenya, Uganda, and Tanzania with the director and his wife seeing first hand what their efforts were accomplishing.

Over the years that followed, the Volkswagen van brought them over the mountains to Alberta numerous times to visit their children and grandchildren. Their last big trip was to a resort in the Dominican Republic where they celebrated their 55th wedding anniversary. That brought their total number of countries traveled to 67.

Life changed significantly for Dad when Mom began to show signs of dementia. For many years after that he devoted himself to the challenging task of caring for her. As a family, we were deeply concerned that he was burning himself out, but he faced it like another mountain to climb and later, after she passed away in 2014, he was heard to say that those had been good years.

In the early morning hours of Sunday, March 1, while I stood at his bedside, Dad ascended his final peak and caught his first glimpse of what’s on the other side.

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June 25, 1923 – March 1, 2020

At the reception following his memorial service, I was asked if I had inherited my father’s adventurous spirit and I was proud to reply that, yes, I believe I did! Thank you, Dad!

What’s in the suitcase this time?

LogoI didn’t actually think that there was going to be a Fashion Friday post this week. Life threw us an unexpected curve a few days ago when we learned that my very frail 96-year-old father had taken a turn for the worse. He isn’t expected to live and we’re once again on our way to Vancouver.

There were a lot of details that we had to take care of at home in order to clear our calendars and get on our way. Very little thought or planning went into what’s in our suitcase. Thankfully, we travel a lot and packing has become second nature to me. When I looked at the clothes laying on the bed in our guest room, which doubles as my packing room, I realized that I’d automatically chosen mostly neutrals and that everything coordinated so that I could put together many outfits with just a few items. The latter is a very important key to packing well.

We spent many hours on the road yesterday and at one point I found myself thinking about what was in the suitcase. I came to the realization that, for the most part, I’d packed what might best be referred to as comfort clothes. Comfortable, yes, but also comforting. Clothes like my grey and white Breton t-shirt and my tan cords that feel like old friends. I may not be a shining fashionista in the things that I packed, but in these challenging days, I’ll be dressed in clothes that bring me comfort.

What about you? Do you have clothes that you instinctively reach for on days when you need comforting?

DIY winter moisturizing masks

LogoCold, dry winters here on the Canadian prairie are terribly harsh on skin. Awhile ago, my face was beginning to look and feel like parchment! My regular skin care routine simply wasn’t cutting it. I needed more moisture than my daytime lotion and night creme were providing. Being a frugal fashionista (and living where there isn’t a wide array of products to choose from) I looked no further than my kitchen for help!

That’s right! All you need for a do-it-yourself winter moisturizing mask is probably right there in your pantry.

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Unpasteurized honey has been used as a beauty treatment since ancient times, but what makes it such a great skincare ingredient? First of all, honey is a humectant, which means that it attracts and retains moisture. It also contains a number of vitamins and minerals, it’s a potent source of antioxidants, and it’s anti-bacterial.

Mediterranean women have also used olive oil as a moisturizer for centuries. Like honey, it’s loaded with nutrients, is a natural humectant, and is rich in antioxidants.

Cleopatra was renowned throughout history for her radiant skin and stunning beauty. Early records show that she added honey to her milk baths to keep her skin smooth and firm. Olive oil and honey facials were also part of her beauty regime. If these things were good enough for Cleopatra, I thought they must be worth a try!

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While either unpasteurized honey or extra virgin olive oil can be used alone, why not try one of these simple recipes for smoother, softer, well hydrated skin?

Exfoliating Mask

When I used this one, my face looked like a glazed doughnut, but it felt wonderful!

  • 1 tablespoon honey
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • a few drops of olive oil

Mix ingredients together and apply to clean, wet skin in a circular motion. Avoid eye area. Leave on for about 15 minutes. Rinse thoroughly with warm water and follow up with your favourite moisturizer.

Salt has been used as a healing agent for centuries. It tightens, preserves, and acts as an exfoliant, removing stubborn dead skin cells and allowing new and healthy skin to emerge, but be very gentle with this mask as it is quite abrasive.

Gentle Exfoliating Mask

  • 2 teaspoons honey
  • 1 teaspoon baking soda
  • a few drops of olive oil

Mix and use as above.

Moisturizing Mask

This one is my favourite! It’s so simple and soothing.

  • 1 to 1.5 teaspoons honey
  • 1 to 1.5 teaspoons olive oil

Mix ingredients. Apply to clean, damp skin. Leave on for 15 to 20 minutes then rinse thoroughly.

There are many more DIY recipes online that include other ingredients from your kitchen such as oatmeal, egg yolk, yogurt, and cinnamon but all you really need for an effective and inexpensive beauty treatment is olive oil and honey. You can use any of these masks weekly as needed. I used the Exfoliating Mask first and followed it with the Moisturizing Mask a week later. That was a couple of weeks ago and my skin is still thanking me!

Ansanm… together

Tim DeTellis is President at New Missions, a ministry started by his parents in 1983 when they set up five tents on the Leogane plain in Haiti and started holding church services. Tim was 11 years old at the time. From that humble beginning, New Missions has grown to include 35 churches and schools as well as medical clinics in both Haiti and the Dominican Republic. In addition, a Bible school and a professional trade school prepare graduates of the New Missions schools to support their families and become leaders in their communities. As a lover of words, I was touched by something that Tim recently posted on Facebook.

“Ansanm means together in Haitian Creole. Togetherness makes life better because you have community to share life with. When I lived in Haiti I saw the strength of togetherness as villagers would gather at the shoreline to help pull in the fishing nets. It took many hands and the strength of togetherness to survive.” 

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photo: Tim DeTellis

We’re not meant to live life alone. Married or single, we were made for community. We’re meant to do life together… ansanm.

The Bible says, “How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!” Psalm 133:1 and Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor.” Ecclesiastes 4:9

While there are times that togetherness can try our patience, maybe even drive us a little bit crazy, there are definite advantages to being part of a group whether it be immediate family, physical neighbourhood, church, workplace, or even an online community.

  • it’s safer
  • it’s mutually supportive
  • it provides comfort in times of trouble or loss
  • we can share knowledge and learn from one another
  • we’re inspired by others
  • we receive advice and encouragement from others
  • we cheer one another on and celebrate together
  • we can share resources
  • it provides accountability
  • it’s fun

Not only do we need other people, but they need us. Someone needs you! Who are you doing life with?

Fashion trends for spring 2020

LogoIt’s still winter here on the Canadian prairie and will be for a couple more months, but when February rolls around I always begin to think about spring. Today, let’s take a look at 11 fashion trends for the season that lies ahead. I must be getting old as I’ve seen many of them come and go before. In fact, this season looks very much like a 1970s rerun!

1.  Crochet  

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Definitely not your Grandma’s doilies, but crochet is being seen in dresses, suits, tops, and evening wear. Runway looks are usually a little over the top for most of us, but I have fond memories of a crocheted vest in my high school years and I could certainly see myself wearing something like this.

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2.  Hot Pants  For those of you who weren’t around in the 70s and may not yet be familiar with the term, hot pants are teeny, tiny, ultra short shorts worn not as beach wear, but for much dressier occasions. Back in the day, I thought I was quite something in my black velveteen hot pants, but looking back I suspect that they weren’t particularly flattering with my toothpick legs. This is one trend I definitely won’t be revisiting!

3.  Neon Colours  You’ll never see me in head to toe fluorescents, but it would be easy to add a touch of this trend to your spring wardrobe by opting for a neon accessory. Perhaps a pair of sneakers, a purse, a scarf, or even a simple bracelet.

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4.  Bras  We’re not talking under garments or exercise wear here, but bras worn under blazers or alone with high waisted pants and skirts. Again, not something I’ll be wearing!

5. Suits With Shorts  If I was still teaching instead of happily retired, I could definitely see myself investing in one of these menswear inspired suits with Bermuda shorts. It’s a nice take on business casual and if the trend doesn’t last, the pieces could still be worn separately.

6.  Vests  Here’s another masculine inspired trend. Vests are being worn as part of three piece suits, mismatched with a blazer, or alone. I’m kicking myself for getting rid of the ones I wore back in the 80s or 90s. If I still had them, I’d definitely wear them again.

7.  Psychedelic Prints  Think 1960s wallpaper!

8.  Leather  Once reserved for fall and winter, leather is having a moment this spring. Brightly coloured and buttery soft, leather is appearing as skirts, pants, jackets, and coats. I’ll definitely be getting out my leather jackets as soon as the weather warms up a bit.

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9.  Polka Dots  Big dots, little dots, colourful dots, dots on dresses, dots on pants, dots on shoes… polka dots are everywhere! This is a trend that’s been around for awhile and shows no signs of fading. It’s one that I haven’t fully embraced yet, but I actually like both these looks. It’s also a trend that’s easy to introduce in smaller amounts with polka dotted accessories.

10.  See-through Sheer  Chiffon and tulle create airy looks that no woman in her right mind is going to wear as shown on the runway, but I’m sure we’ll see this trend translated into looks that will be very wearable. I’m thinking of sheer sleeves and overlays.

11.  Trench Coats  Nothing says spring like a practical, dependable trench coat. This is another trend that isn’t going anywhere. This year we’re seeing classic beige as well as some lovely feminine colours.

Clearly mine is still in style and I look forward to wearing it again!

Will you be wearing any of these trends this spring? If so, which ones? Do tell!

It’s all about pockets

LogoHave you ever wondered why women carry purses and men don’t? It’s all about pockets… and history.

Pockets as we know them didn’t come into being until the 17th century. Prior to that time, both men and women wore bags tied to their waists or suspended from belts, a bit like modern day fanny packs. As the world became more urban and criminals more sophisticated, people began to hide these “pockets” under layers of clothing to keep their contents safe from pickpockets.

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Woman’s “pockets” – mid 1700s – Victoria and Albert Museum, London

In the late 17th century, pockets began to be permanently sewn into men’s coats, waistcoats, and trousers. Women, however, continued to wear bags hidden beneath their dresses. These were often large and beautifully decorated, but terribly inconvenient. The average 17th century woman wore several layers beneath her billowing skirts. Her pockets would be tied around her waist, between her under-petticoat and her petticoat. In order to access their contents, she essentially had to get undressed! She had ample space to carry a wide variety of personal items in her pockets, but she couldn’t get at them in public!

As styles changed and slimmer, body hugging dresses came into fashion, there was no longer space to hide pouchy bags under a woman’s clothing. Instead, they carried tiny decorative handbags known as reticules that could scarcely hold a handkerchief and a coin.

Later came the suffragettes and other feminist radicals who believed that women should have equal political and financial standing with men. With them came pockets for women! “Plenty of Pockets in Suffragette Suit” read a 1910 New York Times headline. The suit, the piece explained, had seven or eight easy to access pockets.

Fast forward to today. Leggings have no pockets at all and then there are those silly fake pockets in some of my dressier pants. What good is a pocket that isn’t really a pocket at all? Women’s jeans do have pockets, of course, but my husband can easily carry his wallet, keys, some loose change, a comb, some kleenex, and a pocket knife (you can take the boy off the farm, but…) in his jeans pocket while anything larger than a credit card in mine leaves an unsightly and uncomfortable bulge. What’s the difference, you ask? About 4 inches. The front pockets on his jeans are about 7 inches (18 cm) deep while mine are less than half of that! There are women who rail against what they call pocket inequality, but am I willing to give up snug fitting jeans for the convenience of being able to schlep a lot of stuff around in my pockets? Not really. I’ll happily stick to carrying a purse!

What about you? Do you think pocket equality is something women should be fighting for?

 

Never forget to laugh!

Ideas for blog posts come from all sorts of places. Sometimes a word or a phrase catches my attention and suddenly, I feel a blog post coming on. Recently, my good friend, Richard M, responded to a comment from another of his friends on Facebook with an excellent bit of advice. “NEVER forget to laugh!” he wrote. That immediately sounded like a title to me!

We’ve all heard it said that laughter is the best medicine, but did you know that it’s actually good for your health? I have absolutely no medical background and I know better than to depend on Dr. Google for sound medical advice, but even trustworthy sites like the Mayo Clinic agree that laughter has many positive physical and mental benefits.

Physical benefits of laughter

  • Lowers stress by reducing the release of stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline.
  • Boosts the immune system which is negatively affected by stress hormones.
  • Promotes heart health
  • Lowers blood pressure
  • Increases oxygen intake
  • Relieves pain by releasing endorphins which act as natural pain killers.
  • Boosts energy
  • Relaxes muscles
  • Burns calories. Though it won’t replace regular exercise, 15 minutes of laughter burns 10 to 40 calories!

Mental benefits of laughter

  • Builds rapport and strengthens relationships between people
  • Eases symptoms of depression as endorphins also act as natural antidepressants.
  • Reduces anxiety and other negative emotions
  • Improves mood
  • Promotes relaxation

Clearly Richard M is right. We should never forget to laugh. Laughter adds joy and zest to life, but we live in a world that seems to be in constant turmoil. Last month it was the fires in Australia and a plane shot down; now the news is dominated by the coronavirus. Our own personal lives are often a struggle. How, in the midst of all that, do we remember to laugh?

Here are a few suggestions

  • Spend time with people who make you laugh
  • Don’t take yourself too seriously
  • Look for the humour in everyday situations
  • Watch funny movies or TV comedies
  • Make time in your life for fun activities
  • Play with a pet
  • Hang out with a little kid and find your inner child

If you really can’t find any reason to laugh, you might even want to check out laughter yoga or laughter therapy. While the idea of sitting in a group or one on one with a therapist forcing myself to laugh definitely doesn’t appeal to me, I could probably use more laughter in my life. We probably all could.

I will add one caveat, however. Never laugh at someone else’s expense. Not everything that passes as humour is funny. Make sure you know the difference.

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“The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.”   Mark Twain

Thrifting again

LogoCleaning out the storage room as well as trying to make more space on our bookshelves has resulted in me taking two loads to the local thrift store recently. Of course, I can’t just drop things off without taking a look around! As a result, for a total of just $7, I added three items to my wardrobe last week. Today, let’s take a look at why I chose each one.

Since finding my little packet of colour swatches, I’ve been looking at my closet with a critical eye and realizing that I need to work on returning to the colours that suit me best. That means no more black worn anywhere near my face unless I can add something, such as a scarf, in a colour that doesn’t wash me out. While I can wear a light dove grey, I’ve really overloaded the closet with greys of every shade and I need to steer away from that colour for awhile. Colour was definitely my main focus as I looked through the racks of second-hand clothing.

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Navy is a universal colour and for me, a much more flattering background for this blouse’s large floral design than black would be. Even the peachy and rust tones in the roses are part of my Spring palette.

The top ticked lots of other boxes as well. In spite of the fact that it’s a small and I usually wear medium, the fit is absolutely perfect. Even the sleeves are long enough which is often a problem for me. That’s one of my tips for second-hand shopping. Don’t limit your search to the size you usually wear. If something catches your eye and looks like a possibility, try it on. I love the shirttail hem that hangs longer at the back. Though I’m wearing it with jeans, it will also provide plenty of coverage with leggings. Lastly, this will be a great piece for travel. The lightweight polyester crepe won’t take up much space in a suitcase, is hand washable, dries very quickly, and doesn’t wrinkle.

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As I looked over my closet, I noticed a distinct lack of green. The greens shown in my little packet of swatches are a pale pastel, a brighter lime green, and a shade that I would probably call emerald. Muddier tones like moss and khaki green are more often included in a Fall palette, but some colour analysts also recommend them for people with my Spring complexion. Since Springs and Falls both have warm undertones to our skin, we can more easily get away with wearing colours from one another’s palettes.

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Cozy sweaters are an essential part of my winter wardrobe. This soft acrylic knit is lightweight and comfortable and provides just the right level of warmth at this time of year. The V neck is flattering and the attached mock cami makes getting dressed super simple. Though you can’t see it in the photo, the back of the neck is high adding to the cozy warm feeling on a chilly winter morning. Again, the fit is perfect; body skimming but not tight enough to show off any bulgy bits. Closer examination reveals that, though predominantly green, the knit is actually a mixture of many warm colours.

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I was at the counter ready to pay for my other purchases when this eternity scarf called my name from a nearby display.

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My photographer wasn’t home when I was finishing up this post, but you can easily see how I can use a scarf like this one to add colour close to my face when I wear a black sweater or top. The turquoise background is one of my Spring colours as are the shades in the repeating pattern which, on closer inspection, turned out to be an owl.

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Earlier this week, while doing some research on the most eco-friendly fabrics available, I read that wearing recycled clothing is the most sustainable way to dress, so if you’re concerned about the environment, why not join me and go thrift store shopping!

Kintsugi… broken made beautiful

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“We have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.”   2 Corinthians 4:7

When I read this verse in my morning devotions today, my mind went in several different directions. It immediately brought to mind a couple of verses from the Old Testament book of Isaiah.

“You, Lord, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand.”   Isaiah 64:8

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Shall what is formed say to the one who formed it, ‘You did not make me’? Can the pot say to the potter, ‘You know nothing’”?   Isaiah 29:16

We are all vessels shaped by God’s hands for His purpose, not our own.

Next, my mind went to the value of a clay pot. Many are plain on the outside and made for ordinary everyday purposes. They might not look like they have much value, but from earliest times people the world over have survived in the harshest of circumstances because they had simple clay pots to carry life giving water. We ought to be like those jars carrying life to those around us.

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Finally, I was reminded of the centuries old Japanese art of kintsugi. or “golden joinery.” Life is hard and sometimes our jars of clay are chipped, cracked, or broken, but God is not only the potter; he is also the master of kintsugi!

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Kintsugi is a method of repairing broken pottery using lacquer mixed with gold, silver or platinum. Rather than trying to hide the brokenness, it becomes part of the beauty of the piece. The process often enhances the value of the item as each mended piece is completely unique.

In a similar manner, when we bring our brokenness to God, He doesn’t reject or discard us. Instead, where we see only ugliness, he sees potential and the possibility of creating something new and beautiful. He takes our broken pieces and carefully puts them back together so that even though the cracks and scars might still be visible, they become part of our beauty. Through His loving grace and mercy, he forgives our failures and heals our hurts. When His gold fills our cracks, we are made stronger and more beautiful and His power and glory are seen in us. We simply need to put our broken lives into the hands of the master of kintsugi and trust Him to put us back together!

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Fashion or function?

I love a stylish pair of sneakers. You’ve seen some of my favourites here before.

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I also love the fact that sneakers are no longer only for wearing to the gym or for running. In fact, a pair like these from Circus by Sam Edelman wouldn’t even be suitable for those pursuits. I have, however, worn them with a dress.

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Then there’s this pair that I bought specifically for walking in Europe last spring.

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Here I’m wearing them overlooking a beautiful stretch of sandy beach in Belgium.

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My husband gave me these metallic blue ones for Christmas just over a year ago. They look especially good with jeans.

But sometimes what a shoe looks like isn’t the most important factor. One of my goals for the new year was to get back into the habit of walking on the treadmill at least three times a week (on the days that I don’t lift weights) and for that I needed a new pair of comfortable, supportive shoes. At the sporting goods store I was confronted with an entire wall of running shoes and trainers and I had no idea where to begin! Of course, my eye was drawn to the cutest and most colourful ones, but I had to remind myself that that wasn’t why I was there. Thankfully, a very knowledgeable sales clerk steered me in the right direction. If I was only going to use the shoes on the treadmill and not for other gym activities, she recommended running shoes as opposed to trainers. That narrowed the search to half the wall! Looking at my feet, she immediately realized that they’re narrow and suggested two brands that I should consider. These are the ones that I settled on.

I’ve only put about 8.5 kilometres (5.3 miles) on them so far, but I think they were a good choice. They’re lightweight but sturdy, and gel technology in the heel and the forefoot provides plenty of cushioning. The fact that I also like what they look like is simply a bonus! I’ve added them to my list of clothing purchases for 2020, but I really think of them as an investment in my health as opposed to a fashion item. Sometimes function takes precedence over fashion!

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