Graduation Day!

Yesterday was a very exciting day for us, but the story began many years ago when we decided to sponsor a child through New Missions. For over 30 years, New Missions has been establishing churches, medical clinics, and Christian schools in Haiti and the Dominican Republic. In addition, a Bible school and a professional trade school prepare graduates of New Missions schools to support their families and become leaders in their communities.

Marie Khetsia was a 10-year-old child in 3rd grade when we began sponsoring her. She had already lost her mother and a few years later her father also died. Khetsia and her brothers were taken in by her aunt, a woman I have come to admire greatly. Every day her aunt goes to the local market to sell her wares and provide for the needs of a household of eleven people.

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About four years ago, our relationship took on a whole new dimension when I received a Facebook friend request from her! Never in my wildest dreams did I ever expect that to happen! At first, communicating was a challenge. Our letters had always been translated for us, but now we were on our own! Her English, learned at school, was weak and my Haitian Creole non-existent. We chatted frequently though and I’m amazed at how much her English has improved. She calls us Mom and Dad and her messages almost always begin with a question about how our family is doing.

We were so proud of Khetsia when she graduated from high school, but we knew that she didn’t want her education to end there. When we approached New Missions and learned that we would be able to provide a scholarship for her to continue her education, she entered a three year laboratory technician program.

Yesterday was graduation day! This is a monumental accomplishment in a country where the adult literacy rate is only about 61%. As Facebook messages flew back and forth between us, I could sense Khetsia’s excitement all the way from Haiti! I hope she knew how excited we were too.

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Prior to graduating, Khetsia completed a practicum at a hospital that was close enough to her village to allow her to commute each day, but at the beginning of February she begins an internship much further from home. Leaving home will be a new challenge, but one we believe she’s ready for.

Four years ago, we decided that it was time to begin sponsoring another child. Rodolson, who lives with his family in a different Haitian village, is now 11 years old and in 5th grade. We look forward to receiving his letters just as we did Khetsia’s. If you are not already sponsoring a child or children, I urge you to consider New Missions. For just $33 a month, child sponsorship through New Missions provides a child in Haiti or the Dominican Republic with quality education, a daily hot lunch which for some is their primary meal of the day, and medical care. New Missions also provides a number of community development initiatives including clean water, vocational training and local employment, all vital in this poorest part of the western hemisphere.

Nature’s lace

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I’m not a big fan of winter, but without it we’d never see one of nature’s most amazing phenomenons. This post is especially for those of you who live where hoarfrost never forms.

Unlike regular frost which is essentially frozen dew coating surfaces like rooftops and grass with a thin layer of white, hoarfrost looks like feathers growing on a variety of surfaces. Conditions have to be just right for it to form. One or more days in a row of fog with air temperatures below the freezing point is a perfect scenario. We had such a day yesterday and woke up to a beautiful display of nature’s lace this morning. A quick walk around the yard before the sun rose over the rooftops yielded some very interesting photos.

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Hoarfrost forms when water vapour in the air comes in contact with solid surfaces that are below the freezing point and instantly crystallizes. The more moisture in the air, the more ice crystals form. Interlocking crystal patterns become more and more intricate as they build upon one another forming amazing feathery patterns on tree branches, leaves, and other surfaces. When sunlight hits them, the sight is spectacular!

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After my second walk around the yard taking pictures this morning, hubby suggested that we go for a drive. I’m glad he did! Hoarfrost doesn’t usually last very long. The slightest breeze will send the crystals cascading to the ground and once the sun has been on them for very long they also begin to fall.

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Mundane things like fences and power lines are transformed and look at the backstop on the school ground, a solid curtain of white!

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It’s beautiful mornings like this one that add joy even to winter and we’ve been fortunate to have two of them this month! 

Boxing Day

Our very quiet Christmas is over. Thanks to modern technology, we were able to see and chat with all our kids and grandkids, so it wasn’t as lonely as it might otherwise have been. It was also a good day to reflect on our many blessings and on the reason for the season… the babe in the manger who became the man on the cross; the One who died that we might have everlasting life.

Today is a totally secular add-on holiday celebrated in the UK, Canada, and other Commonwealth countries. Boxing Day originated as a day to give gifts to the poor. The reason for the name seems to have been lost in the mists of time. Some say that wealthy employees would give boxes containing small gifts, money, and Christmas leftovers to their servants who were allowed time off on December 26 to visit their families. Others theorize that churches put out boxes to gather money for the poor and the proceeds were distributed the day after Christmas. In any case, the original meaning has long been lost and Boxing Day has become primarily a day for shopping after Christmas sales, much like Black Friday in the US.

In past years, Boxing Day has been a good day to pick up electronics, toys, fitness equipment, seasonal clothing, gift sets, and all things Christmas at seriously reduced prices. It’s also been a day for pushing, shoving, and standing in long line ups in overcrowded stores. For many shoppers, Boxing Day and Boxing Week sales this year will look a little different. With Covid shutdowns or restrictions in place, much of the shopping will be done online.

Either way, I’m with Santa… I think Boxing Day is a good day to relax after the busyness of Christmas Day! It’s also a good day for eating leftovers of which there are many in our house. In spite of the fact that there were only the two of us, I cooked our traditional Christmas dinner including a turkey! After dinner tonight I’ll be packing up meal size portions and putting them in the freezer to be enjoyed some other time.

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Casual elegance for Christmas 2020

LogoAs a detail oriented person and one who makes lists for almost everything,  a couple of years ago I started making a list of all the Christmas events that we expected to attend and planning in advance exactly what I was going to wear to each one. It made getting ready so easy and took a wee bit of stress out of a very busy time of year.

Then came 2020, an oddly quiet Christmas season! The page is blank. There are no Christmas parties, concerts, or programs to attend. Nothing! On December 8, the Alberta government declared a State of Public Health Emergency. All indoor and outdoor social gatherings, public and private, are prohibited until at least January 12.

In spite of the fact that hubby and I will be home alone for Christmas, I decided to pull out a few dressy pieces and add a bit of sparkle to the season. It’s time for a bit of casual elegance even if it’s only the two of us at the kitchen table or dancing alone in the living room!

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I’ve worn this sweater several times lately. It was purchased on a Christmas shopping trip three years ago. The shimmering gold sections add a festive touch of elegance. For a casual at-home look, I’m wearing it with my comfy old tan cords. It also looks good with my grey skinny jeans.

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This lightweight blazer with a silvery pinstripe has been in my closet for too many years to count and has been part of many different Christmas outfits over the years, but for a 2020 look I’ve paired it with jeans and a plain white t-shirt from Uniqlo. Perhaps I’ll switch the t-shirt for my green sequinned top for Christmas Eve.

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With Christmas and New Years Day both falling on Fridays this season, Fashion Friday will be taking a two week break. This feature will be back on January 8th with my annual fashion shopping review. In the meantime, I do plan on writing some other non-fashion posts, so please stay tuned!

An “aha” moment

LogoThis week I had an epiphany, a true “aha” moment.

Every time I’ve looked at my face in the mirror lately, especially without makeup, I’ve been unhappy with what I saw. My skin looks like parchment, the colour is uneven, and then there are those wrinkles, especially around my mouth! Thankfully, my glasses make the worry lines at the inner ends of my eyebrows less noticeable!

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I’ve never been one to worry about trying to look younger than I am and I’m not about to go the way of Dolly Parton who’s had so much plastic surgery that even she admits to looking artificial, but I really didn’t like what I was seeing.

Then I read Alyson Walsh’s blog post about 1980s model, Jeny Howorth, modelling again at age 56, and I looked at these photos of her.

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Photo: Liberty

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Photo: Sunday Times Style magazine

I looked more closely at her face and that’s when I had my “aha” moment!

There were the same wrinkles that I see on my own face, but when I looked at her I saw beauty and character!

Why are we women so hard on ourselves? Why do we dislike in ourselves what we barely notice in other women? Why do we fail to see in ourselves things that we appreciate in others?

I do take care of my skin. I use a cleanser at bedtime every evening and I moisturize both morning and night. I’m 68 years old and I’ve earned every scar and every wrinkle! From now on, when I look in the mirror I’m going to stop looking at flaws and remind myself that mine is simply a face with life written on it. I also need to remember that a smile goes a long way toward lighting up a face and minimizing lines around the mouth!

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So much anger!

We’re living in a very angry world, or so it seems to me. Everywhere we look, whether in person or on social media, people seem to be protesting or venting their anger. First it was the shutdowns, then masks, and now the prospect of a vaccine that isn’t even available yet.

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What is really behind all this anger? It’s clearly a response to what’s going on in the world around us, but why so much anger? Why are so many people lashing out at one another and at those in positions of authority? I think it’s much more than being asked to wear a little piece of fabric over their mouth and nose or the thought of having to have an injection.

There are many different emotions that might result in anger, but anxiety, sadness, fear, frustration, disappointment, and worry are some of the most common triggers and who amongst us hasn’t experienced some of those feelings in recent months? Add to that the fact that we feel like we’ve lost control of our lives. Things that we’ve always taken for granted, like spending time with family, have been taken away. For many, the things that they’ve trusted in, things that have given them a sense of security, have also been swept away. Some have lost jobs, others have had to close businesses. Some are still working, but feeling isolated at home. In addition to all of this, with the incredible amount of false information and fear mongering being spread by irresponsible “news” sources and keyboard warriors, it should be no surprise that undiscerning people are being sucked into the swirling maelstrom of fear and anger that surrounds us. The virus is everywhere. There isn’t even anywhere we can go to escape!

Unfortunately, anger is one of the most divisive and destructive forces on the planet. It’s a poison that spreads with astonishing speed; faster perhaps than Covid itself. It turns crowds into mobs, inflicts deep wounds, and crushes the human spirit. Plus, it does absolutely nothing to alleviate the crisis that we all find ourselves in.

Anger itself isn’t the problem; it’s what you do with it. First of all, let’s look at what NOT to do.

Don’t be a spreader! Don’t spread the virus, don’t spread misinformation, and don’t spread anger.

Don’t spread the virus. Whether or not you fully agree with the measures that have been recommended or mandated in your area, suck it up and cooperate. Wear the mask, stay 6 feet (2 metres) from other people, and whenever possible, stay home. We’re all in this together. The sooner we really start working together to limit its spread, the sooner we’ll have any hope of reclaiming some of the things that we’ve lost. 

Don’t spread false information. The internet is awash with misinformation, much of it deliberately intended to mislead and to stir up fear and anger. Don’t add to the noise! Check your facts before passing something on. Chances are that your neighbour down the street or your friend from high school doesn’t know as much about epidemiology as the experts do. The lack of respect and support for doctors, scientists, and other health professionals during this pandemic is nothing short of astonishing. There is plenty of evidence to show that masks do make a difference and no, they aren’t harmful to your health. There are very, very few people who have legitimate reasons for not being able to wear one and those people should be staying home because they clearly have other issues that put them at high risk. Yes, the vaccines have been fast tracked, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re dangerous. They’ve been through the same rigorous testing as any other vaccines, but because of the urgency of the present situation, they weren’t allowed to bog down in bureaucratic red tape the way things usually do.  

Don’t spread your anger. Denying that you’re angry or keeping it bottled up inside isn’t healthy, but taking it out on an unsuspecting cashier who’s simply attempting to do her job in trying circumstances doesn’t make the situation better. Neither does waving a protest sign or ranting on social media. 

So what CAN we do with our anger? What SHOULD we do? 

  • Think before you speak, post or repost.
  • Find constructive ways to express your concerns clearly and directly to the right people without trying to hurt or control anyone. This might include asking questions in an attempt to seek out the truth and understand the reasons behind measures that are being recommended or mandated.
  • Take a break. That might mean taking a self-imposed time out from social media or getting outside for some fresh air and exercise.  
  • Practice relaxation. Listen to music, write in a journal, do a few yoga poses or some deep breathing exercises… whatever works for you.
  • Pray. Pray for wisdom, understanding, and grace. Pray for those in positions of authority who are daily faced with making incredibly difficult decisions. 
  • Do something positive for someone else. Instead of writing that Facebook rant, why not write a note of encouragement to someone? Instead of attending a protest rally, look for an opportunity to volunteer in your community. 
  • Know when to seek help. If your anger feels out of control, reach out to a mental health professional. 

I’m as eager as the next person to see this pandemic come to an end, but I’m equally anxious to see us pull together and rise above the overwhelming flood of anger that threatens to crush us all. 

Why accessorize?

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Accessories are the finishing touches that can take an outfit from drab to dramatic. They also add versatility to your wardrobe enabling you to create many different looks with the same basic outfit. Almost any outfit will benefit from a few carefully chosen accessories, but think beyond jewelry to watches, scarves, belts, shoes, handbags, gloves, and hats. These days even masks are accessories that can complement an outfit.

Accessories are an opportunity to express your personal style, taste, and preferences. They can add a pop of colour to an otherwise neutral outfit. Accessories can also draw attention to your finer points and away from those you might not want to accentuate. For example, a short necklace and statement earrings will draw the viewer’s eye to your face and away from your bust while a long necklace will make you look taller and leaner than you really are. In addition, some accessories have sentimental significance and add a feel good aspect to getting dressed. This could be something you’ve received as a gift or something you picked up while traveling. In my case, I also have a few pieces of jewelry that belonged to my mother. Rather than storing them away for safekeeping, I like to wear them occasionally.

Choosing which accessories to wear can be intimidating, so let’s look at a few tips from the style experts.

  1. Think of your outfit as a blank canvas. What does it need to enhance it? For example, is the neckline very plain and simple? Perhaps it needs a necklace or a scarf to fill it in.
  2. Create balance by giving centre stage to one dominant piece and adding more subtle accessories as supporting characters. For example, if you’re wearing a statement necklace, choose earrings that won’t compete for attention.
  3. Keep the proportion of your accessories appropriate to your body. If you are petite, you can still wear fashion jewelry, but smaller scale pieces will enhance your outfit rather than overwhelm or distract.
  4. Wear what suits your personality and makes you feel comfortable. Several months ago, a reader shared a quote from an O. Douglas novel that really resonated with me. “When you’re sure your clothes are right you can forget all about them. When you’re wrongly dressed you’re miserably aware of it all the time.” The same is true of accessories. If something makes you feel self-conscious, don’t wear it.
  5. Keep your accessories appropriate to the occasion. For example, you might wear the same little black dress to the office, to a funeral, and to a New Years Eve party (though maybe not this year!) but each circumstance would call for different accessories. The glitzy pieces that you might choose for a special evening event would be totally out of place in either of the other two situations.
  6. For a modern look, coordinate your necklace and earrings rather than matching them. The matchy-match look will immediately make you look dated. If you have a matching set, you don’t have to stop wearing them. Simply break them up. Wear the earrings with a scarf or a different necklace that has a similar “flavour” or feel. Do the same with the necklace.
  7. My last suggestion would be to store your accessories in such a way that they’re organized and easy to see. Unfortunately, I haven’t mastered that yet and I’m often found trying to untangle necklaces from one another! If and when I figure out a method that works well, I’ll share it on the blog. How do you organize and store your accessories?

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Where do you find comfort?

If there was ever a time in most of our lives when we craved comfort, this is probably it. The combination of the upcoming holiday season + a worldwide pandemic is bound to be stressful. For many of us, the shorter, darker days of winter add to our feelings of disquiet. It’s a universal human trait to seek comfort when life becomes difficult, but where do we find that comfort? What do we turn to?

You’ve probably heard people refer to their “Quarantine 15”. In a poll of more than 1,000 WebMD readers, nearly half of the women and almost one-quarter of the men said that they had gained weight since March. This trend is no surprise. Food is one of the most common sources of comfort that people turn to in times of stress. There’s even a physiological reason for this. Chronic or ongoing stress causes the body to produce higher levels of the stress hormone, cortisol, which in turn triggers cravings for salty, sweet, or fried foods; foods that produce a burst of energy and pleasure.

Thankfully, this hasn’t been an issue for me. In fact, in times of distress I tend to lose my appetite. One of my main go tos for comfort is a cup of hot tea which is known to lower stress hormones. Since I drink my tea black, it has the added benefit of being calorie free.

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Soaking in a hot bath is another favourite source of comfort for me. There’s something about being surrounded by liquid warmth that soothes away anxiety and restores a sense of peace. Perhaps it’s reminiscent of returning to the womb! 

What are some other ways that you can comfort yourself, especially if you’re trying to avoid stress eating? Here are a few suggestions, but I’d love to hear your ideas in the comment section. 

  • Exercise. This one might be challenging if gyms and recreational facilities are closed in your area, but it goes hand in hand with the next suggestion. 
  • Spend time outdoors. 
  • Listen to music.
  • Do something creative… paint, sketch, knit, crochet, sew, embroider… the options are almost endless.
  • Keep a gratitude journal.
  • Practice mindfulness. Focus on whatever you’re doing at the moment. Notice the sights, sounds, and scents that surround you. 
  • Escape into fiction. Watch a movie or read a book. 
  • Work on a jigsaw, crossword, or sudoku puzzle.
  • Savour the routines in your life. If life seems chaotic, work on establishing some routines and focus on the comfort that you receive from that first cup of coffee in the morning, a regular devotional or prayer time, a few minutes of quiet reading or contemplation after work.  

We are living in tumultuous times and there seems to be no end in sight. We can’t see the big picture and have no idea how all this is going to work out for us individually or globally, but there is One who does know. Ultimately, true comfort is to be found in faith in God. Scripture is full of words of comfort. 

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How to wear a sweater dress

LogoSweater dresses are a big hit this winter, perhaps because they’re so incredibly comfortable. If there was ever a year when we craved comfort, this has to be the one! I was fortunate to find this one on sale while doing some Christmas shopping recently. I bought it in midnight blue. 

Tall boots and sweater dresses are a very trendy look. They’re often shown with bare legs, but that doesn’t work in our climate, so I’m wearing mine with leggings. Since the boots are dark brown, I chose navy blue leggings rather than adding a third colour.  

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For a slightly edgier look, I switched the tall boots for a pair of black ankle boots and added a pair of cozy knit socks in almost the same shade as the dress.

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As far as footwear is concerned, almost anything goes with a sweater dress. In the remaining photos, I’m wearing a pair of flats, but the possibilities range from stilettos to sneakers. Come spring, I might try wearing the dress with bare legs and one of these pairs that both reside in my closet.

Some knits are loose or chunky and hide your figure, so cinching them in with a belt can be flattering. The heavier the knit, the wider you can go with the belt. Mine is a finer knit, so it looks best with a narrow belt. I’m not sure that it’s my best look though as it emphasizes the fact that I don’t have a very girlish waistline!

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Today’s photos aren’t as clear as I would have liked, so it might be a bit difficult to see that my dress has a split neck. In the next photo, I’ve buttoned it up to form a turtleneck. I haven’t worn turtlenecks much since my extensive neck surgery six and a half years ago because I haven’t found them comfortable, but this one was loose enough and soft enough not to bother me.

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As always, accessories complete a look. The finer the knit, the easier it is to dress up. The V created by a long necklace is flattering and elongates your look. Scarves are another way to enhance an outfit. This worked well enough with my turtleneck, but might look even better with a crew neck or V neck. 

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With Covid numbers escalating rapidly in our province and everyone being urged to stay at home, I probably won’t be shopping again for awhile, but I definitely wouldn’t mind adding another sweater dress to my wardrobe. They’re so versatile!

Who is the enemy?

One of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned about dealing with conflict in a relationship is the idea of standing shoulder to shoulder and attacking the problem together instead of face to face and attacking one another. If we all applied this principle to the fight against Covid-19, I think we’d have a much better chance of successfully containing the spread and minimizing the long term effects of this dreadful pandemic.

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The first step in fighting this battle together is identifying who or what is the enemy and perhaps even more important, who is NOT the enemy. The enemy is not the government, the public health authorities, or Bill Gates. The enemy is not 5G and it certainly isn’t your Facebook friend who thinks that Covid-19 is a hoax!

The enemy is a virus; a submicroscopic infectious agent that invades living cells and uses their chemical machinery to stay alive and to replicate itself. It doesn’t care whether or not we believe it’s real. It doesn’t care what our political views are, whether we’re young, old, or in-between, or if we’re good at math. It just needs an available host.

We can exhaust ourselves arguing about whether or not we should be wearing face masks and using hand sanitizer. We can wave protest signs and refuse to follow recommendations and requirements. We can spread rumours and accuse one another of all sorts of heinous things, but the virus doesn’t care! As long as we’re standing face to face and fighting with one another, it will simply continue its insidious attack. It will kill more of our elderly and vulnerable. Some of its victims will get off easy, but others will suffer long term physical and mental harm.

OR we can stop attacking one another and stand shoulder to shoulder against a common enemy. We can admit that we’re all in this together and that there are no quick fixes or easy answers. We can temporarily put aside our personal preferences and stop rebelling against every measure that is put in place to try to protect us.

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