Author: edebock

No one fights cancer alone

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My cancer is on the move again and so am I. It’s been 5 years since I last participated in the annual CNETS (Canadian Neuroendocrine Tumour Society) Hoofing It fundraiser and I’m late to the party this year, but I’ve decided to get involved again.

It’s been 12 years since I was diagnosed with stage 4 neuroendocrine cancer (NETs). Once the shock of learning that I had a cancer that I’d never heard of and that I’d be living with it for the rest of my life wore off, it became important to me to do what I could to help raise awareness of this little known disease and to support fundraising efforts for research, better treatments, and patient support. If it wasn’t for the research that organizations like CNETS fund, I probably wouldn’t be here today, so this is definitely something that’s very close to my heart!

I don’t think I’ve mentioned it on the blog before, but several months ago I became co-lead of the CNETS Alberta Patient Support Group that meets online once a month. Every month I hear from patients and caregivers whose lives have been turned upside down by this disease. Some are newly diagnosed and looking for answers. Others have been battling this for longer than I have and some are ready to give up hope.

After 16 months of stability following the radioembolization treatment that I had in March of last year, my cancer is growing again. Another tumour on my liver has started to increase in size and I’m waiting to find out how we’re going to treat it. At this point, my other tumours continue to remain stable and the cancer hasn’t spread to any new locations, but this is definitely beginning to feel a bit like a game of Whack-a-Mole! We haven’t exhausted all the possible treatment options yet, but this new development has reminded me how important it is that research into new treatments continues to move forward.

In past Hoofing It fundraisers, participants kept track of how many kilometres they walked, hiked, biked, or paddled, but not all patients are physically capable of doing those things. This year points are being assigned for a wider variety of physical activities. I’m not concerned about earning points though. My goal is simply to walk or hike at least 5 days a week until the end of September & to raise a minimum of $1200.

The walking part is easy. I was already doing that before we went to Europe, but since arriving home last month, I’ve been a bit lazy. Hopefully participating in this endeavour will provide the motivation I need to keep moving.

The $1200 is where you come in! As my new t-shirt says, no one fights cancer alone. I’m hoping that I can persuade you to visit my fundraising page here and make a donation. No amount is too small! Every cent received by CNETS during this campaign will go directly to neuroendocrine cancer research. We need to know what causes this disease, we need more and better treatments, and we need to find a cure!

Where was God?

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Sitting down to write a blog post seems almost frivolous in light of the horrific events that have unfolded in Texas and New Mexico over the past week and a bit. We’ve seen whole buildings washed downstream like bits of flotsam. We can’t look at the news or scroll through social media (something I admit to doing way too much of) without seeing the faces of adults and children who were swept away by a raging torrent. We read agonizing reports from those who sift through the debris searching first for survivors and now for bodies to bring some sense of closure to grieving families.

How can I, who loved going to summer camp year after year when I was growing up, wrap my head around Camp Mystic? As an adult, I’ve slept in dusty old camp cabins with groups of little girls under my care. Some of those same cabins were later swept away by a flood, but thankfully no one was in them at the time. As a parent, I’ve packed up my own children and sent them off to camp trusting that they’d come home with happy stories of their time away.

I can easily imagine the whispers and giggles of little girls settling into their bunks for the night, but then came the nightmare; the rushing waters that weren’t just a bad dream. How can we even begin to process that?

Where was God in this? Couldn’t He have stopped the flood? Couldn’t He have saved every one of those lives? Why did He let this happen? Those are hard questions. Questions that might shake a person’s faith. Questions that don’t have easy answers.

I’m not here to give pat answers, to try to explain the unexplainable. I will simply tell you what I know and that is that God is still present and He is still good. This tragedy is not a sign of His anger or His judgement. He was there in the chaos and He is there for those who were left behind to grieve. Yes, He could have stopped it from happening, but for reasons that are far beyond my understanding, He chose not to.

This is not a time for speculation as to causes or for blame. It is a time for grieving, for lament, for prayer, and for reflection. It is also a time when we are reminded of the brevity and the fragility of life. Perhaps it should be a time for reevaluation. A time to ask, what am I doing with the time I’ve been given? Will my life make a difference? Am I ready for eternity?

How to say no without feeling guilty

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Whether you are working and raising a family or older and possibly even retired, do you ever find yourself overwhelmed because you’ve said yes to too many things? Do you spend so much time doing for others that you don’t have time or energy for yourself, your marriage, or your family?

Establishing boundaries that protect your time, prioritize what’s important to you, and maintain healthy relationships is essential for your own well-being. Declining an invitation or saying no to a request can be surprisingly difficult, especially if you’re afraid of disappointing someone or worry that they’ll hold it against you, but sometimes it’s essential and it does get easier with practice. Learning how to say no without feeling guilty is one of the most important and most freeing lessons that I’ve learned in life. I only wish that I had learned it sooner!

One of the important things to learn is that you don’t owe anyone an explanation. You can simply say no without giving a reason. Here are some ways to do that politely, but firmly.

  1. “I’m sorry, but I won’t be able to do that.”
  2. “Sadly, I’m going to have to say no to that.”
  3. “I’m flattered to be asked, but I’ll have to say no.”

If you do want to give a reason for saying no, keep it simple.

  1. “I’m sorry, but I’m busy with other commitments.”
  2. “Thank you for thinking of me, but my calendar is full”
  3. “Thank you, but I have other plans.”
  4. “I’m really not the right person for that.”
  5. “I don’t have the necessary skills to do that.”
  6. “That’s not something I’m comfortable with.”

The following responses would be appropriate if the request is something that you might be interested in at some point in the future, but be careful that by trying to be polite you’re not to opening a door that you’d rather keep closed.

  1. “I won’t be able to help with that right now, but maybe next time.”
  2. “Unfortunately, I’m not able to go this time, but I really appreciate the invitation.”
  3. “I’ll have to say no, but please keep me in mind for the future.”
  4. “I’ll have to pass this time, but please let me know if there’s another opportunity.”

Instead of an outright no, offering an alternative might be appropriate in some situations.

  1. “I won’t be able to do that, but … might be able to help you.”
  2. “I’m not able to help this month, but I would be available next month.”
  3. “I don’t have time to bake anything, but I could bring pickles.”
  4. “I won’t be able to help set up, but I could stay afterward and help with clean up.”

One of the best strategies that I’ve adopted is not giving an immediate response to most requests. There are rare occasions when I’ll say yes or no on the spot, but I’ll usually give one of the following responses that give me time to consider the request and be sure of my answer.

  1. “I’ll have to check my calendar and get back to you.”
  2. “I’ll need to think about that. I’ll let you know by…”
  3. “I’d like to pray about that before I give you a definite answer.” I only use this one if I actually intend to pray about it!

Lastly, if you are in a relationship that is characterized by manipulative or controlling behaviour, a relationship where you are afraid to say no, you need to get help.

18 years of retirement!

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With the school year coming to an end this week, hubby and I have been retired for 18 years. 18 years! How is that even possible? That’s the same length of time that I taught at Lougheed School, a small prairie school that closed a couple of years later due to declining enrolment. Perhaps it says something about our chosen career that 18 years of teaching seemed like a very long time while the past 18 have flown by!

When I reflect on all that we’ve experienced in the past 18 years, I realize how full and how rewarding they have been. Retirement has included fulfilling long held dreams like teaching English in Japan and later, China. One might argue that that wasn’t really retirement. After all, we were employed and we earned a paycheque, but it wasn’t really about the work or the money. Those were simply what allowed us to be there. It was all about adventure; about living shoulder to shoulder with the people of another land and learning about their culture. It was about traveling to other locations in Asia during our holiday breaks. We also spent one summer on the Pacific island of Saipan serving as short term missionaries.

Living with cancer for the past 12 years has curtailed our ability to spend extended periods of time outside the country and the pandemic kept us home for a couple of years, but tourist travel has also been a big part of our retirement years. We’ve visited Mexico six times, ziplined over the rainforest in Costa Rica, toured Israel, and visited several European countries as well as nine Canadian provinces, one territory, and numerous US states.

Speaking of retirement, my father always said that there were no end of things that one could do as long as they didn’t need to be paid to do them and we have certainly found that to be true. Volunteering in various capacities in our church, our community, online, and most recently in a far and distant land, has helped give meaning to our retirement years.

Retirement has brought some unexpected surprises. Learning to operate a tractor and a combine definitely wasn’t part of this city bred girl’s retirement plan, but several years of helping a friend at seeding time and harvest gave me more joy than I could ever have imagined.

Since we retired, our family has grown to include eight grandchildren who have made our lives so much richer. In fact, that’s why this post is a day later than I’d originally planned. We visited three of them earlier this week and now another three are visiting us. As much as I love to write, going on adventures and playing games with the grandkids and late night cuddles and chats with one who has trouble sleeping are far more important than anything I could ever post on here.

To say that our retirement years have been rich would be an understatement. I’m incredibly thankful that, in spite of our health challenges, we have been able to experience so much. As time flies by I sense an urgency to continue seeing and doing as much as we can while we’re still able, but I don’t see us slowing down anytime soon, so here’s to a few more years of purposeful and productive retirement!

Why traveling together is good for your marriage

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I inherited my wanderlust from my parents who visited 66 countries together, mostly during their retirement years. When I was a child, we took long holidays as a family. We drove the west coast as far south as San Diego and traveled north all the way to Alaska. When I became a teacher, my plan was to spend my summers traveling, but hubby had different ideas. Growing up, his summers were spent working on the family farm. He’d only ever been on one short holiday to visit relatives. He wanted to spend his summers at home playing ball, golfing, and going to the beach.

Marriage meant compromise, but I knew that I wouldn’t be happy if I couldn’t travel. Before we tied the knot, I told him that I would be spending part of each summer traveling. It was something that I simply had to do. He was welcome to join me, but if he’d rather that I went alone and he spent that time pursuing his own interests, I was okay with that. Thankfully, he chose to join me and we have enjoyed so much of the world together! We’ve also learned that traveling together is good for a marriage.

Travel teaches you teamwork and communication skills.

While I do most of our travel planning, I always consult with hubby about major decisions like which flights to take or where we should stay, but there are also small day to day choices to make. Should we walk or take the bus? Where should we go for lunch? It’s often these little things that require clear communication and test our ability to compromise.

Travel teaches you how to work together to overcome obstacles.

When you’re travelling together, problems are shared. When we failed to get off the train at the right stop in Germany last week, we put our heads together and figured out how to get to our destination (with the help of a very kind gentleman). Having had a similar experience in Japan many years ago, I’m sure that either one of us could have dealt with this minor mishap on our own, but it’s so much better when you have someone to share the momentary panic with!

Traveling as a couple teaches you to be more patient with one another and with yourself.

When you’re together 24/7 in an unfamiliar environment, especially one where English isn’t the first language of the people around you, there are bound to be moments of frustration. Whether it’s figuring out directions, handling delays, or trying to figure out how to buy tickets for the train, we’ve learned that there’s always a solution to every problem. Sometimes finding that solution just requires a little patience.

Shared adventure adds spark to a tired relationship.

When a couple gets married, going on a honeymoon allows them time to be fully present with one another and to delight in each other’s company. In time, however, the distractions and busyness of daily life take over. Work, family, household chores, and individual interests often leave little time for one another. Traveling together offers a couple a chance to reconnect and to enjoy uninterrupted time together. The destination is less important than the simple act of spending time together and getting away from the noise of daily life. Even an occasional weekend getaway together can help reinvigorate your relationship.  

Finally, travel gives you lasting memories to share.

Some of our most cherished memories have been made while traveling together. There are big moments like our first glimpse of the terra cotta warriors in Xian, China or seeing the golden Dome of the Rock in Jerusalem come into sight for the first time, but there are others that were also amazing moments for us. Memories like staying in a very basic $12 a night guesthouse in Siem Reap and taking an early morning tuktuk ride out to Angkor Wat to watch the sun rise over the enormous temple complex. Memories of traveling the length of Vietnam on overnight buses and arriving in Saigon late on New Years Eve without a place to stay! We even love to reminisce about the time that we accepted a ride from a total stranger in the middle of rural China! Not necessarily recommended, but it was an amazing experience! You can read about it here.

With all the traveling that we’ve done together, you’d think that I’d have more photos of the two of us, but I love this one taken in Heidelberg last week, so I’ll share it again.

Last day in Germany

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Today was our last day in Germany. As much as I’ve enjoyed the last week, I’m tired with a capital T and I’m ready to go home. Even though it was just over three weeks, it seems like forever ago that we set out on this big adventure.

We walked a lot again today, but at a very leisurely pace. It was 31ºC (88ºF) this afternoon and we had plenty of time to see Mainzer Alstadt, the old town centre of Mainz. There are many historic churches throughout the city, but three stand out and are worth a mention here. Because of the narrow, crowded streets, it isn’t always easy to get good photos of the exteriors, but I’ll share the interiors of the two that we were in today.

St. Stephan’s is located high on a hill overlooking the old town. We arrived just as the doors were being opened and were delighted to find a musical performance happening inside. The acoustics, as is true in so many of these old stone churches, were amazing.

St.Stephan’s is known for it’s brilliant blue stain glass windows created by Jewish artist Marc Chagall (1887 – 1985). They cast a mystical light throughout the interior of the church and reminded me of flowing water.

Only the three long panels at the front of the church contain figures like these ones.

Even though my blog takes it’s name from one of my ancestors, not St. Augustine, the church that bears his name was something I had to see. St. Augustine Church is tucked into a narrow pedestrian street.

The inside is absolutely spectacular. I have trouble wrapping my head around so much money being spent on a place of worship in a world where people go hungry, but at the same time, I can’t help but appreciate the beauty.

By far the most imposing structure in the old section of Mainz is the enormous St. Martin’s Cathedral. Photos simply don’t capture how massive the 1000 year old structure is.

Friday is market day in the main square next to the cathedral and if I lived in Mainz, this is where I’d be doing my weekly grocery shop. Fruit, vegetables, cheese, meat, baked goods, eggs, honey, wine, and even flowers can all be found in the giant outdoor market. It reminded me of shopping in Mexico and in China when we lived there.

After our stroll around the old town and through the market, we returned to the nearby river and walked along the promenade again.

Embedded in the largest wine-growing region in Germany, Mainz is known as the country’s wine capital, so we ended our self-guided tour with a glass of wine by the Rhine!

Now our suitcases are packed and we’re ready to leave. We’ll catch a train to the Frankfurt airport early tomorrow morning and fly out at noon. The blog will probably be silent for a few days while I recover from jet lag and get back into routine, but we have more travel plans for later this summer , so don’t go away!

We made it to Mainz!

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We had a bit of misadventure on the way to our final destination for this trip this morning. We were supposed to change trains in Ludwigshafen, but somehow missed our stop. We were the only passengers to get off at the next stop, a small deserted station with no one on duty to provide assistance. Thankfully, a kind gentleman who spoke perfect English (a rare thing in this part of Germany) happened to be passing by and stopped to ask if we needed help. Since we knew that we’d be too late getting back to Ludwigshafen to make our connection to Mainz, he suggested that we go back two more stops to Mannheim, a much bigger centre where we’d have a better chance of catching a different train to Mainz. That worked perfectly and we were only about an hour later arriving than originally planned. In the words of Shakespeare, “all’s well that ends well!”

Our hotel here in Mainz is directly across from the train station. After checking in, we walked about 15 minutes to the riverfront promenade. On the way, we passed Christuskirche (Christ Church), a prominent Protestant landmark. Built between 1897 and 1903, it was destroyed during World War II, and rebuilt between 1952 and 1954.

After walking the riverfront promenade and dipping our feet in the Rhine River, we headed for the Gutenberg Museum.

We haven’t spent a lot of time in museums on this trip, but one that is devoted to the history of books, printing, and writing captured my interest and I was particularly interested in seeing the Gutenberg Bibles. The Gutenberg Bible was the first European book published on a printing press using moveable metal type. Only 49 of the approximately 180 that were printed right here in Mainz in the mid 1400s have survived and the museum owns two of them. Well, technically, one and a half. The huge Bibles were printed in two volumes, Old Testament and New Testament. Previously owned by the British Baronet Shuckburgh, the complete two-volume Bible was added to the museum’s collection in 1978. The second Bible, which was previously owned by the Solms-Laubach family, is incomplete, with only the second volume surviving.

The Bibles were only printed in black ink as two or more colours would have been too expensive and time-consuming. Spaces for coloured ornamentation were left empty and the books handed over to an illumination workshop. As a result, each surviving edition is different in its ornamentation.

Heidelberg Castle and the Philosopher’s Walk

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Every year, the ruins of Heidelberg Castle attract approximately one million visitors from around the world making it by far the most visited site in the area. This morning, we caught a bus in front of our hotel and then rode the funicular up the north side of Königstuhl hill to the imposing structure that overlooks the city’s Old Town. An hour long English tour with a delightful and extremely knowledgeable guide was an excellent way to begin exploring the site. He managed to fit hundreds of years of history into a very short time!

The earliest castle structure dated back to the 13th century, but in the 1600s when it became home to Prince-Elector Friedrich V and his wife, Elizabeth Stuart, daughter of King James I of England, it underwent major expansion and became one of the grandest palaces of the Renaissance period. In the late 17th century, it was repeatedly attacked and severely damaged by the French. Later, the local populace began to rebuild it, but in 1794, two devastating lightning strikes caused further damage and the once majestic residence was almost completely burned out. Citizens of Heidelberg used stones from the ruins to build their homes until Count Charles de Graimberg began an effort in 1800 to conserve what remained. Had he not done that, there might not be much left for visitors to enjoy today!  

In addition to all that he added to the castle, Friedrich V commissioned a great garden to be built on the hillside above the castle. Gunpowder was used to carve out terraces to accommodate ornamental flower beds, labyrinths, pergolas, and water features. While the gardens were never completed, the area provides visitors today with amazing views of the castle and the town below. 

A walk on the once fortified wall in front of the castle also offers spectacular views of the Old Town. The prominent building in the top left quadrant of the second photo is the Church of the Holy Spirit. Constructed between 1398 and 1441, it’s still in use today over 600 years later!

After exploring the castle and its grounds, we took the funicular back down the hill and walked through town to the Old Bridge. Hubby wasn’t too keen about climbing the steep hillside on the other side of the river to the Philosopher’s Walk, given that name during the 18th century because of the many Heidelberg professors and philosophers who enjoyed the path for its solitude, natural beauty, and great views. Perhaps I should have listened to him, but it was on my list of things to do in Heidelberg and I didn’t want to miss it. Although I’d been warned, the climb was longer and steeper than I had imagined! Once we reached the path, we only walked a fairly short segment of it, but the views of the river and the town below were worth it. 

Exploring Old Heidelberg

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My first impression of Heidelberg was that it’s cleaner and quieter than Frankfurt. It’s also much smaller. There’s less English on signs, maps, and menus which makes me wish I’d managed to keep up my high school German! It’s also much more historically authentic because, unlike Frankfurt, it was almost completely spared during World War II. Since it wasn’t an industrial centre or a transport hub, it wasn’t a target for Allied bombing.

We arrived by train shortly before noon yesterday, dropped our suitcases at our hotel, and headed for the Altstadt (Old Town) where we enjoyed wandering the narrow streets.

We saw several ancient churches including St. Peter’s, the oldest church in the city. Parts of the tower date back to the 12th century.

The Alstadt is also home to Heidelberg University, the oldest university in Germany. The building on the right in the next photo is the University Museum.

One building of particular interest is the former student prison, used to detain unruly students from 1778 to 1914! Part of the stone interior is now a shop selling university t-shirts, hats, and other memorabilia.

The imposing Rathaus, or City Hall, with the fountain of Hercules in front, overlooks Market Square and has appeared as it does today since 1701.

A short walk from the Market Square took us to the Old Bridge across the Neckar River.

The bridge offers a great view of Heidelberg Castle on the hillside above town. We’ll be exploring that today!

Walking  back along the river toward our hotel, we discovered a bit of serendipity. Looking over the balustrade, we spotted a short stretch of white sand complete with beach chairs and a kiosk selling beverages. Our tired feet took us down the stairs to investigate further and we ended up taking a wonderful and unexpected break there!

I can’t begin to imagine how many miles we’ve put on these feet over the past few days, but they were very happy to take a break! We’ve always said that walking is the best way to see a city and it’s moments like this one that we’d miss if we always depended on transit to get around.

We are going to take a bus to the castle this morning though as it would involve retracing a lot of the steps that we took yesterday and our legs could use the rest!

Frankfurt Am Main

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Although we commonly refer to it as Frankfurt, the city’s full name is Frankfurt Am Main which means “Frankfurt on the Main” (pronounced mine). The Main River, the longest tributary of the Rhine, figured prominently in our day today.

We love the way that the city has preserved green spaces along both sides of the river and we’ve spent some time walking by the water each day since our arrival.

This morning, we walked about a kilometre from our hotel to Hobeinsteg, a suspension bridge built in 1990 that is one of two footbridges that span the river.

After crossing, we enjoyed a leisurely stroll along the south side of the river eventually crossing back over on Eiserner Steg, the other much older pedestrian bridge that is famous for the thousands of locks of love that adorn its iron rails.

We had hoped to spend some time in Kleinmarkthalle, a huge indoor market featuring more than 60 stalls selling fruit, vegetables, meat, fish, cheese, baked goods, and international delicacies, but when we arrived, we discovered that it was closed. That’s when we realized that today is a holiday in Germany! It wasn’t until we returned to the hotel and I checked online that we learned that it’s Whit Monday or Pentecost Monday which is celebrated the day after Pentecost.

Since we couldn’t visit the market, we took a look at our tourist information to find out what else of interest might be in the area and discovered that Hauptwache was less than half a kilometre away. Built in 1730 as Frankfurt’s main guardhouse or police station, the baroque-style building is now a popular café where we enjoyed lunch at an outdoor table in the sun.

Walking just a little further, we spotted something that absolutely had to be checked out. I almost expected to see Rapunzel at one of the tower windows!

Upon investingating, we discovered that the 47 metre (154 feet) high Eschenheimer Turm, erected in the early 1400s, was the northern tower of the wall that surrounded the then fortified town of Frankfurt Am Main.

Returning to the river, we embarked on a 100 minute cruise with the Primus Line. After all the walking we’ve been doing, it was very nice to sit and watch the city glide by.