Author: edebock

Book of the month – October 2025

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When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress

Gabor Maté, MD

In this international bestseller, renowned mental health expert and speaker, Dr. Gabor Maté, provides insight into the critical role that stress and emotions play in the development of many common diseases.

Although written for a general audience, When the Body Says No definitely wouldn’t be everybody’s cup of tea. It’s like reading a textbook, but my daughter and I both read it recently and when I discovered that another friend was also reading it, I decided that it might appeal to more of you and that it would be worth reviewing here.

Dr. Maté has experience as a family practitioner and a palliative care physician and has also worked with the addicted men and women of Vancouver’s Downtown Eastside. He weaves together scientific research, numerous case histories, and his own insights and experience to explain the relationship between psychological stress and the onset of chronic illnesses including arthritis, cancer, diabetes, multiple sclerosis, Alzheimer’s disease, and heart disease. While I don’t agree with everything he says and he definitely needs to update the section on prostate cancer (the book was published in 2003 ), a lot of it makes very good sense. 

What I liked best was the fact that Dr. Maté validated what I have believed for years; that the stress I endured prior to and especially during the early decades of our marriage and the anger that I suppressed during those years contributed to my present health conditions. In fact, the author would probably say that they caused my cancers. As he says, all of us probably have within our bodies the occasional rogue cell that could multiply and become cancer. In most cases, the body has the resources to destroy those cells before they spread, but chronic stress and repressed anger reduce the body’s ability to do that and magnify the risk of developing the disease.  

In the final chapter of the book, Dr. Maté addresses what he calls the seven A’s of healing: acceptance, awareness, anger, autonomy, attachment, assertion, and affirmation. He believes that pursuing these will help us grow into emotional competence and empower us to be our own health advocates.

Note:  This book was published in the US under the title When the Body Says No: Exploring the Stress-Disease Connection.

 

10 fashion mistakes and what to do about them

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As I wrote in this post three years ago, I don’t follow fashion rules. Instead, I believe in wearing what makes you feel comfortable and confident. I do believe, however, that many of us make fashion mistakes that keep us from feeling great in what we wear. Today, let’s take a look at 10 of those mistakes and what to do about them.

Not knowing your personal style

It’s important to dress in a way that reflects your personality and says what you want to say about yourself. As I’ve written before, one way to identify your personal style is to choose 3 to 5 adjectives to guide your fashion choices. My style adjectives are classy, casual, comfortable, confident, and authentic. When I look in the mirror, I’m happiest when my outfit ticks all five boxes.

Not wearing the right colours for your skin tone

Knowing whether your skin has cool or warm undertones can help you choose colours that are best for you. A personal colour analysis can help, of course, but an easy way to figure this out is to look at the veins on the inside of your wrist. Do they look blue or green? If they appear more blue, you are cool-toned; if they’re more green, you’re warm-toned. If you are cool-toned, bright blues, deep purples, emerald greens, and frosty shades of lavender, ice blue, and pink will look good on you. If you’re warm-toned, think fiery reds, peach, coral, oranges and rusty tones, creams, camel, and earth tones. While sticking to a specific colour palette might seem restrictive, knowing which colours make you come alive and which, especially when they’re worn close to your face, make you look tired or washed out, can definitely help you look your best.

Buying things you don’t love

Shopping with friends can be a lot of fun, but their taste might be different than yours. Consider their advice, but resist buying something that they like unless you know that it’s actually right for you. Similarly, don’t let the fashion industry dictate what you wear and don’t buy something simply because it’s on sale. Instead, wear what makes your heart sing!

Having a crowded, disorganized closet

If you can’t see what’s in your closet or if it’s full of clothes you don’t actually wear, set aside some time to take everything out, try things on, and decide what to keep and what to donate. Ask yourself: Do I love this? Does it fit my personal style? Is it the right colour for me? What can I wear it with? Do I have too many of these?

Wearing the wrong undergarments

Undergarments are the foundation that an outfit is built on. Prioritize comfort and fit. Consider going for a professional bra fitting to ensure that you’re wearing the right size. In addition to enhancing how your clothes look, a proper fit provides essential support that can reduce back, shoulder, and neck pain.

Buying quantity over quality

In addition to being terrible for the environment, fast fashion is usually characterized by shoddy workmanship and low quality fabrics that will cheapen your look. Buying fewer, better quality pieces will give you a more polished appearance and if you consider cost per wear, will also be the wiser choice financially.

Wearing clothes that don’t fit well

Oversized clothes look frumpy and clothing that’s too tight looks uncomfortable and shows off bits and bulges that are better left unseen. If you shop online, use a measuring tape and pay close attention to sizing charts. When shopping in person, try everything on and if possible, look in a three way mirror. Make sure shoulders seams align properly and buttons don’t pull. Horizontal lines in the crotch area indicate that pants are too small. When you get the fit right, your clothes will skim over your body and you’ll feel comfortable.

Sacrificing comfort for style

It isn’t necessary to choose between comfort and style, but comfort is of paramount importance in choosing what to wear. This is especially true of footwear. It’s almost impossible to look good when your feet are killing you!

Trying to follow every fashion trend

Not every trend will suit your personal style or body type. Instead, invest in quality basics that stand the test of time and add occasional trends that fit your aesthetic.

Wearing too many or not enough accessories

Accessories are the finishing touches that can take an outfit from drab to dramatic. Almost any outfit will benefit from a few carefully chosen accessories, but too many will look tacky and overwhelm your look. If you like bold jewelry, choose one statement piece and let it take centre stage while keeping other jewelry understated.

Can you think of any other fashion mistakes?

Navigating family life during a teacher strike

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I was working on a fashion post for today, but then life got in the way. You may or may not be aware of the fact that teachers in this province have been on strike since October 6th. After almost three weeks out of his normal routine, our 11-year-old neurodiverse grandson was bored out of his mind. Mom and Dad were working and he was driving his teenage siblings crazy, so Gram and Grandpa decided to come to the rescue. Yesterday we drove three hours to their place, stayed the night, and then brought him home with us today.

Grandpa had a dentist appointment in Camrose on the way home, so we stopped there for lunch, a bit of shopping and a walk around beautiful Mirror Lake.

We have no idea how long our young guest will be with us. There could be movement on the teacher strike as early as Monday or it could drag on for awhile longer. In the meantime, between playing substitute parent to a very busy boy and trying to figure out how to feed him (he has celiac disease and food avoidance issues), I hope to find time to finish that fashion post for next week!

A life transformed

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Back in August when I wrote this post about several 50 year milestones in my life in 2025, I mentioned that In October it would be 50 years since I made the life-changing decision to follow Christ. A couple of readers mentioned that they would be interested in hearing more about how I reached that decision. I had already been thinking about sharing that story on the blog, so I decided I would do it today, the 50th anniversary of the day that my life was transformed.

As far back as I can remember, my family went to church every Sunday morning. I attended Sunday School and youth group and for several years, church camp was the highlight of my summers. In my early teens, I attended confirmation classes to learn more about the church and the Christian faith. The purpose of these classes was to prepare us for church membership, but when the classes ended and the minister asked me if I was ready to join the church, I said no. I felt that something was missing, but I didn’t know what it was. I knew that Jesus loved me and that He had died for me, but I felt that there must be more to it than that. When I discovered that all the other students in the class were going to join, however, I didn’t want to be the only one who was left out, so I changed my mind. After all, I was a good kid, a quiet kid who didn’t like to stand out from the crowd.

The summer before my final year of high school, my father took a job in the Northwest Territories and we moved from Vancouver to Yellowknife; from the third largest city in Canada to a small, isolated  community in the middle of nowhere. I had to leave my home, my friends, my school, my church, and everything else that mattered to a teenage girl. I wouldn’t get to graduate with my class. I was angry and I made a very conscious decision to rebel. I decided that I was going to find out how the other half lived. I quit going to church and started drinking and partying. I abandoned the morals that I had been taught and less than two years after leaving Vancouver, I entered into a teenage marriage that never should have happened.

We had only been married for a year and a half when my husband, a very charismatic narcissist, told me that he had fallen in love with someone else. He didn’t want our marriage to end though. Instead, he wanted to invite her to move in with us! I absolutely refused to allow that to happen and tried for another year to make our relationship work, but midway through my third year of university, it was over and we went our separate ways. I was broken. My dreams were shattered and I felt like unwanted, unloved garbage. That led to more unhealthy relationships.

In spite of all that was going on in my personal life, I managed to graduate from university with my teaching degree and I accepted a job in the very small town where we still live today. I realized that as a teacher in such a small community, my life would be on display for everyone to see. It was the mid 1970s and I was sure that if I continued to live the way I had been, parents wouldn’t want me teaching their kids.

Once again, I made a conscious decision to turn my life around. I thought I could do it on my own, but God had a much better plan. Richard was also a new teacher at the school that year. One evening early in the fall, he shared with me what it meant to be a Christian in a way that I had never heard before. He told me that if I acknowledged my sins, asked for God’s forgiveness, and surrendered my life to Christ, I could have a personal relationship with Him and my life would be transformed. I quickly realized that this was the missing piece that I hadn’t heard about growing up. I didn’t know that I had to make an actual decision to follow Christ or that I could have a personal relationship with Him.

At the same time, I also realized that making that decision would mean giving up control of my own life. Considering what a mess I’d been making of it up to that point, you would think that this would be an easy or obvious decision, but I wrestled with it. Eventually though, I couldn’t deny that God was calling me and I finally surrendered my stubborn will to His. When that happened my life changed completely. There were no flashes of lightning or tongues of fire, just an incredible peace that I had not known before. I felt like a brand new person, free of any guilt or shame over my past. I no longer had any desire to live the way I had been.

I quickly learned that God didn’t want to be a distant deity who cared about me, but who wasn’t personally involved in my life. Like a Japanese kintsugi artist, He began to fill the broken places in my life with gold and turn me into a vessel that He could use for His good purposes.

I wish that I could tell you that life was always easy after that, but of course, it wasn’t. In John 16:33, Jesus tells us, “In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” Over the past 50 years, I have suffered great loss and betrayal. I have spent the last 12 of those years fighting cancer, but I have never been alone in any of these dark times. One of my favourite Bible verses is Isaiah 41:10 which says, “Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” I can testify to the truth of that!

Whatever you take away from this post, please note that this is not about church or even about religion, it’s about an intimate, personal relationship with the Creator of the universe; a relationship that is available to everyone regardless of who you are and what you’ve done. If you have any questions or would like to chat about this, please feel free to comment below or send me an email at debock2@gmail.com.

Image: ChatGPT

Elderly? Not yet!

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I was a bit taken aback when a fellow blogger who’s a few months younger than I am recently referred to herself as elderly. I turned 73 earlier this week. Maybe I’m in denial, but I’ve never thought of myself as elderly! I still don’t. 

I recently read a trashy novel entitled The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel about a group of doddering old people living in a seniors home. I was  bothered by the fact that most of the “elderly” characters were younger than I am now! Did the author really think that that was an accurate representation of people in their 60s and 70s today? 

I don’t mind being called a senior. I’m happy to accept the discounts that go along with that and I certainly don’t mind the fact that the government has been paying me a monthly pension since I turned 65, but that doesn’t make me elderly.

This article explains the difference between senior and elderly in a way that sheds light on why I feel the way I do. “While “senior” is used to describe an age group, “elderly” refers to a matter of capability.” Senior denotes a person’s actual age, generally 65 or older, while elderly indicates diminishing ability due to aging. I may not be quite as spry as I once was, but I’m not there yet! In fact, I plan to go hiking today. 

It’s funny how our concept of age changes as we get older. When I was a child and my grandmother was younger than I am now, I certainly thought that she was OLD! When I started my teaching career, several colleagues who were nearing retirement seemed very old to me. Now I’m significantly older than they were then!

My grandmother when she was younger than I am now. 

Aging is a natural process and one we ought to embrace. One would hope that with age, we’ve gained experience and wisdom. It’s just that word elderly that I’m not ready to embrace yet!

Lessons from my fall wardrobe transition

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As much as I hate to see summer come to an end, I have to quit denying reality and accept the fact that fall is here! The days are getting shorter, the furnace is coming on in the morning, coloured leaves are falling, and the farmers around us are finishing harvest. I actually love autumn, but it’s a bittersweet season because it means that our long, cold winter is just around the corner.

Another sign that fall is here is the fact that I recently found myself reaching for the warmer items in my closet. As a result, I finally made the switch from my summer wardrobe to my fall/winter one this week. As I moved my summer clothes into storage and brought out warmer ones, I tried to do a better job of purging than I’ve done in recent years. So, what went into the donate pile and what, if any, lessons can be learned?

  • Items that I bought because someone else said they looked good on me, but that I didn’t wear very often because they never really felt like me. Lesson: Don’t dress to please others. I need to consider my 5 style adjectives (classy, casual, comfortable, confident, and authentic) when I’m deciding whether or not to buy something.
  • Thrifted items that were too good to pass up, but that I’ve seldom worn.  Lesson: A bargain is only a bargain if you’re actually going to wear it.
  • Garments that no longer fit the way they should. Lesson: Dress for the body that I have today, not the one I used to have or wish I still had. My aging body is changing; there’s more around the middle than there used to be and that’s okay.
  • Items that I have too many of.  Lesson: A woman who hardly ever wears leggings doesn’t need 7 pairs!
  • Pieces that I’ve hung onto for sentimental reasons.  Lesson: I don’t need a closet full of nostalgia for my kids to clean out someday.

Now that I’ve finished sorting clothes, I need to do the same with footwear. Once that’s done, it will be time to take a close look at my wardrobe and decide whether or not there are any gaps that need to be filled before the really cold weather arrives. In the meantime, I’m hoping that our beautiful fall weather lasts for awhile longer!

Book of the month – September 2025

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During our teaching careers, hubby and I had to learn numerous acronyms describing ND (neurodivergent) children: ADHD (Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder), OCD (Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder), ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder), ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder) and so on, but the book that I’m reviewing this month is an extreme example of what hubby calls PPS (Poor Parenting Syndrome)!

Wavewalker: A Memoir of Breaking Free

Suzanne Heywood

At seven years old, Suzanne Heywood set sail from England with her parents and younger brother on what was supposed to be a three-year trip around the world retracing one of Captain Cook’s voyages. What followed was a decade of isolation on a 70-foot sailboat crossing some of the world’s most dangerous oceans and surviving horrendous storms, shipwrecks, and reefs. What sounded like the romantic adventure of a lifetime became a child’s worst nightmare “trapped inside someone else’s dream”.

Deprived of safety, friendship, and education, Suzanne longed to return to the stability of England and the opportunity to attend school, but her parents saw this only as selfishness on her part and refused to entertain the idea. Determined to educate herself, she worked diligently on correspondence courses dropping lessons into the mail whenever and wherever the family went ashore. Ultimately her desire for independence and self-determination became so intolerable to her parents, particularly her mother, that at age 16, they dropped her off at an isolated cabin on the north island of New Zealand, leaving her responsible for her younger brother while they continued their travels around the South Pacific!   

It would be hard to read this book without becoming increasingly angry at the parents who, according to the epilogue, told their daughter later that she had a “privileged” upbringing! It is, however, a story of resilience and determination. At 17, finally escaping the constraints of her bizarre childhood, Suzanne was accepted into college at Oxford where she went on to earn her PhD.

While Suzanne’s childhood was one of neglect rather than physical abuse, there are strong parallels between her story and Tara Westover’s powerful memoir, Educated. 

What’s for lunch?

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I started making bag lunches for my brother and I when I was in junior high. For three of my four university years, I lived off campus and carried a bag lunch almost every day. Then, throughout our teaching career, I made bag lunches for my husband, our children, and I. That’s over 40 years and thousands of sandwiches!

When we retired, I was excited that I’d never have to make bag lunches again, but then came the dilemma that I still live with 18 years later. What should I make for lunch today? In retrospect, making sandwiches every day was easier than having to decide what to feed us for lunch every single day for the rest of our lives!

When my parents were in their later years, they ate the same simple lunch almost every day. It consisted of Laughing Cow cheese and fresh buns from the bakery down the street from their apartment. How boring, I thought, but now I understand! While I don’t think hubby would go for that, he’d probably be happy with mac and cheese or eggs and toast every day. Me, not so much!

I decided to ask ChatGPT for ideas. If you’re not familiar with ChatGPT, it’s a free and easy to use artificial intelligence (AI) chatbot, a tool that can do everything from recommending a book for you to read to helping you plan a trip. In a matter of seconds, it gave me several possibilities. Some include ingredients that I won’t find in my small town grocery store, but others are very doable. I had to laugh though when I saw that the final item on the list was peanut butter and banana sandwiches, something that often appeared in those bag lunches!

The photo was also generated by ChatGPT.

Now it’s your turn. I’d love to hear some simple, nutritious lunch ideas! What are your favourite things to make for lunch?

Beaver watching at Miquelon Lake Provincial Park

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Earlier this week, we spent three days camping at Miquelon Lake Provincial Park. We hiked a little over 9 km (5.6 miles) one day and about half of that the following day, but by far the most fun we had was an hour spent watching a family of beavers hard at work. We came upon them quite by accident while enjoying an evening stroll alongside the Grebe Pond and stayed until my camera battery died! Of the many photos that I took, this one is my favourite.

The North American beaver, officially Canada’s national animal, is this continent’s largest rodent. The saying “busy as a beaver” is very apt. As we watched, the industrious critters constantly crossed the path in front of us on a well-worn trail from the water’s edge to the hillside above us. There we could hear them using their long orange incisors to busily cut branches from the trees that they felled before dragging them down to the shoreline.

Look at the size of the load that this one was hauling!

We’ve encountered a beaver in the water several times when we’ve been kayaking. If we get too close for comfort, it slaps its tail on the water with a thunderous splash and dives beneath the surface. At first, these ones were clearly surprised to see us watching them from just a few feet away, but they didn’t seem too bothered by our quiet presence. The young ones were the most cautious, first sitting still in the edge of the brush and peeking out before quickly scooting across in front of us.

With its big, webbed hind feet and its rudder-like tail, it’s no wonder that the beaver is such a good swimmer. Not only did they drag the branches down to the water’s edge, but then they swam across the pond with them to add them to their lodges on the other side.

We had thought that this would be our last camping adventure of the year, but we had such a good time that we’re thinking of trying to squeeze in one more. As I mentioned in my last post, I’m never quite ready to let go of summer!

How can it be fall already?

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Do you remember when you were a kid and summer seemed to go on forever? Me too, but now it seems to fly by in a flash. I have a love/hate relationship with fall. I love the crisp autumn air and the changing colours, but fall means winter is just around the corner and I’m never ready for that!

I try to hold onto summer for as long as I can, but the signs are all around me. Days are getting shorter and leaves are beginning to change colour. Teachers and students are back in school and soon our regular fall/winter activities will be in full swing again. Still, I have a hard time accepting the changing season. Reality definitely hit this morning though. When I first looked out it was -1ºC (30.2ºF) and there was frost on the roofs across the street! Frost in the first week of September!

For me, summer seemed to go by faster than ever this year. Perhaps that’s because with all the traveling we did to far flung places like Armenia, Germany, and Alaska, we didn’t spend as much time doing the things we usually do during the summer months. We did manage to fit in a fair amount of golf and we hope to do more of that in the few weeks before the course closes, but we’ve only spent 11 nights in our trailer, less than half our usual 25 or more. We are planning to get out for one more short trip, but after that it will be time for hubby to winterize the trailer. We’ve only had the kayak on the water four times, so I sure hope we can do that again too.

As a retired teacher, the beginning of September always feels like the start of a new year to me. As such, it’s a good time to set some goals or make some “new years” resolutions. Sharing them with you will make me more accountable and help me actually accomplish them, so thank you for that!

When I think about this summer’s golf and kayaking season, one thing that stood out to me was the fact that over the past few years, I’ve lost strength in my shoulders and upper arms. No surprise, as I used to lift weights all winter. Doing that is more than I can handle now, but I need to do something, so I’ve decided to add some work with dumbbells to the morning exercises that are already an established part of my year round routine. This website has some good information and exercises for seniors, so I’m going to do a set of the 5 upper body weight training exercises every morning Monday to Friday.

It’s been ages since I last published a Fashion Friday post, so that’s also something that I plan to resume doing on a semi regular basis. I haven’t shopped for clothes in quite awhile, but I have been paying attention to what’s on trend for fall and here are a few things that I’ve been noticing…

  • chocolate brown, lots of chocolate brown
  • off-white and neutral tones
  • blazers with jeans
  • bulky, oversized sweaters
  • capes
  • dark wash jeans in almost any style, but not torn or distressed
  • suede boots, shoes and handbags
  • loafers and mary janes
  • statement belts
  • statement necklaces
  • scarves, both silk and knit

While lots of these are very wearable and make me want to rush out and start shopping, my first step will be my semi annual closet changeover (but not until after that last camping trip!) At that point, I’ll take a close look at what I already have, then figure out what, if anything, I actually need. Then I might look for a few pieces that fit with my existing wardrobe and that I’m likely to wear for more than one season, pieces that fit my style adjectives… classy, comfortable, casual, confident, and authentic.

What about you? Are you happy or sad that summer is over? Do you have any goals or plans for the new season? Will you be wearing any of this season’s trends?