Author: edebock

More than your appearance

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Logo by SamI’ve written about today’s topic before, but the beginning of a new year seems to be a good time to revisit it. As women, we are constantly bombarded by air brushed images promising us thinner bodies, younger looking skin, flawless complexions, lusher lashes, smoother lips, and glossy nails. How easy it is to forget that these are simply advertisements aimed at selling products. For many, they become the goal, the standard of beauty, and they go to great lengths to try to attain it. But do these things truly make us beautiful? What about clothes? Does beauty come from wearing the right brands and the latest trends? I think not!

A nasty, mean-spirited woman dressed in designer clothes and made up impeccably, is still mean and nasty. Unless something happens to transform her from the inside out, that ill-tempered spirit will soon become evident and we will see through her attractive appearance.

The Bible tells us  “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit.” 1 Peter 3:3-4a

Does this mean that a woman shouldn’t concern herself with style, dress in fine clothes, wear elaborate jewelry or use make-up. Absolutely not! It simply says that her true beauty shouldn’t depend on these things. It ought to come from within.

Stephanie Lahart, inspirational author of Overcoming Life’s Obstacles, puts it this way:  “Her outer beauty is just a bonus, but it is her inner beauty that’s most captivating. She’s loving, caring, kindhearted, empathetic, and genuine. She’s comfortable in her own skin, therefore, she’s able to compliment, celebrate, and build up others around her. She’s a quality woman with a strong sense of self! She doesn’t need the spotlight, because she is the light wherever she goes. Smart, confident, ambitious, and fearless… Beautifully created from the inside out.”

Being beautiful on the inside is about how you treat other people, but it’s also about how you nurture yourself. What do you tell yourself when you look in the mirror? Instead of berating yourself for your physical flaws (we all have them!) try acknowledging something positive about yourself, something that you’re proud of, something that makes you feel good. Appreciate your uniqueness. Don’t try to hide your authentic self or be someone you’re not. As much as possible, surround yourself with positive people who encourage you to be the best that you can be. Choose role models, not for their outward appearance, but for who they are on the inside. And finally, practice gratitude.

In 2024, let’s have fun with fashion, but let’s focus on being more than just our appearance!

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Dressed to the nines

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LogoWe’ve just come through a season where I heard the phrase “dressed to the nines” used several times to refer to people who dressed very elegantly to attend holiday parties. As a lover of words, I began to wonder where that idiom came from and why we say “dressed to the nines” instead of to “the eights” or “the tens”? As often happens, curiosity sent me looking for answers!

There are several theories about the origin of the phrase. For example, one popular one says that it came from the nine yards of fabric that a tailor needed to make a suit. Apparently, however, a very nice three piece suit can actually be made from only four or five yards. The real origin of the saying is unknown, but it’s believed to have originated in the late 19th century. It’s most likely simply an extension of an earlier phrase, “to the nines”, which meant “perfectly” or “to the highest standard”. That phrase had been around since the 1700s, but its early use wasn’t specific to clothing.

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There are actually several English idioms that include the number nine. A stitch in time saves nine, we go the whole nine yards, or perhaps we’re on cloud nine. There must be significance to the number, but that’s another rabbit trail that I won’t go down today! Regardless of its origin or the meaning of the number nine, “dressed to the nines” is commonly used to describe someone who is dressed to perfection and looks their absolute best.

New Year’s Eve is often a time to dress to the nines, but that certainly wasn’t me this year. While the final hours of the year often find us either on the dance floor or babysitting so that our adult children can enjoy the night out, this year was different. We enjoyed a quiet party for two at home. Since El Niño has gifted us with an unusually mild winter, we spent the early hours of the evening bundled up by our backyard firepit watching the last light of the year fade into darkness.

Later, we went indoors to watch a couple of movies, sip some wine and nibble on party food. I crawled into bed just as the clock struck twelve!

What about you? Did you “dress to the nines” and go out to celebrate the arrival of the New Year?

Book of the month – December 2023

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Homecoming

Kate Morton

61683285I first discovered Australian novelist, Kate Morton, when I found her first three novels in a garage sale several years ago. Since then, I’ve read every book she’s written. When I learned that she’d published a new novel in April of 2023, I immediately put my name on a waiting list with our regional library system. Obviously, Morton’s books are popular because the list was already long and I had to wait many months before Homecoming finally arrived.

I knew when I picked up the book, all 544 pages of it, I would have a hard time putting it down. Thankfully, it came at a time when most of my Christmas preparations were complete and I could sink into the story without too many distractions.

On Christmas Eve 1959, a terrible tragedy rocks the small town of Tambilla in South Australia’s Adelaide Hills. A local man makes a terrible discovery; a mother and three of her children lying dead on a picnic blanket looking as if they are asleep. The youngest child, a baby, has disappeared without a trace.

Almost 60 years later, having lived and worked in London for nearly two decades, journalist Jess Turner-Bridges returns to Australia when her beloved and very elderly grandmother suffers a fall and is seriously ill in hospital. It’s only then that she hears for the first time about the Turner family tragedy of 1959 and begins to try to unravel the mysteries surrounding the deaths and the baby’s disappearance.

Homecoming is an epic novel that spans generations. It’s a gripping story of deeply buried family secrets, sins, and sorrows. It touches on themes of family, motherhood, home, loneliness, loss, identity and belonging. It’s a book you won’t want to put down!

One word for 2024

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At the beginning of each year since 2017, I’ve chosen one word to inspire or guide me throughout the new year as well as a scripture verse to go along with it. My word for 2023 was contentment and the Bible verse, Philippians 4:12b. “I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.” I wanted to be able to say with the apostle Paul that I had learned to be content regardless of my circumstances. 

Everything went pretty well for about eight months. In late March, hubby came through his prostate surgery well. We had a good summer season. We camped, hiked, kayaked and played lots of golf. Everything seemed to be going well and contentment came easily. Then things started to unravel. I worried about a close family member who was going through a very difficult time. Hubby and I encountered more issues with our health and life seemed to become a long series of trips to the city for medical appointments. I no longer came to the end of a day with a feeling of quiet happiness and satisfaction. Instead, I was stressed! Tense! I berated myself for having had the audacity to choose a word like contentment! How could I possibly be content in my present circumstances? Thankfully, time, prayer, wise counsel, and an excellent massage therapist helped get me back on track. Now that the year has ended, I think I can say that I’ve come closer to being able to be content in any and every situation. I’m definitely still a work in progress though! 

It was during this dark time that I settled on my one word for 2024. 

Hope! 

The New Oxford American Dictionary defines hope as “a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen”. That meaning is definitely part of the reason that I chose hope as my word for the new year. I hope that 2024 is a good year for all of us. I hope that my family is happy and healthy. I hope that the embolization that I’ll be having to tackle the tumour on my liver is successful and that my cancer doesn’t grow or spread any further. I hope that hubby and I can travel more in the coming year (and not just to medical appointments!) Yes, I hope for many things, but there is a hope that is so much greater than any of these. 

This year, while my word came to me easily, choosing a scripture verse to go with it was more difficult because there were so many possibilities. I finally settled on two of them, Romans 15:13 and Hebrews 6:19a.

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”

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“We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.” 

The Biblical word hope is so much more than just wishful thinking. From the Hebrew word tikvah, it’s an expectation and a strong expression of faith. It’s a certainty that we can hold fast to. It’s confidence that God is who He says He is and can do what He says He will do. My hope, my certainty, is that some glorious day when the trials of this life are over, I will see Him face-to-face. He guaranteed it! This hope gives me strength to face whatever happens between now and then. It isn’t dependent on my circumstances. As I learn to depend more and more on this tikvah hope, the contentment that I yearned for in 2023 should become more and more real in my life!

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What do you hope for in 2024?

Have you chosen a word for the new year? 

 

2023 fashion shopping review

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Logo by SamAt the beginning of 2018, following the example of one of my favourite bloggers, Sue Burpee of High Heels in the Wilderness, I started keeping a list of all my fashion purchases including clothing, accessories, and footwear. I was interested in finding out more about my spending habits and I wanted to be more intentional about wardrobe development. In addition, I wanted to become a more ethical shopper. I’ve continued this practice every year since and at the end of each year I publish a fashion shopping review analyzing my purchases and setting some goals for the next year.

What surprises me most when I look at this year’s list is how short it is. I only bought 17 items! That’s less than half as many as most other years. Of those, 12 were thrifted and only 5 purchased new. I spent a total of $395.50 (CAD), again less than half what I’ve spent most other years. Research shows that some women spend that much every month!

So, what did I get for less than $400?

  • 2 pairs of pants
  • 7 tops
  • 1 vintage jacket
  • 1 vest
  • 1 scarf
  • 1 swimsuit (which hasn’t actually been worn yet, though I hope to remedy that soon)
  • 1 swimsuit cover up (also not worn yet)
  • 1 pair of earrings
  • 1 necklace
  • 1 pair of sandals

The last item on that list was by far the most expensive. At $175 my Ecco walking sandals were worth every cent. I love thrift store shopping, but good quality footwear is something that I’m willing to spend a significant amount of money on. I consider it an investment in healthy feet.

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Trying to shop ethically is complicated and how successful I’ve been is always very difficult to assess. One of my fashion shopping goals in recent years has been to avoid buying items, especially new ones, that were made in China. I loved living and teaching there, but these days Canada-China relations are chilly at best. Conditions for many factory workers in that country are abhorrent and human rights are being increasingly eroded. It’s a personal choice, but I prefer not to support China if I can avoid it. One of the items that I bought new in 2023 and several of the second-hand ones were made in China and others were made in Vietnam and Cambodia. It’s virtually impossible to find out whether they were made in sweatshops where workers are exploited and forced to work in unsafe conditions or manufactured in socially and environmentally responsible factories. Unfortunately, since the vast majority of fashion manufacturing takes place overseas, those of us who live in North America have little choice but to buy clothing made in these countries.

Until recently, thrift store shopping was lauded as being ethical and sustainable, but now that’s a topic that’s up for debate. I still feel that it’s often a better option than buying new, but I plan on writing a post about this early in the new year, so I won’t go into it here.

Having done this exercise for the past six years has definitely made a difference to how I shop. I’ve become much more intentional, making fewer impulse buys and limiting them to things that I love and pieces that go well with what I already own. My goal for the coming year will simply be to continue in this vein. Some new blue jeans will probably be on my shopping list as a couple of pairs of old favourites are starting to show their age. I’d like to try a pair of wide-legged ones while they’re in style. I also need some new capri pants for summer as most of mine are quite worn. The worst ones didn’t make the cut when I did my seasonal closet switch in the fall.

And now, in addition to the sandals shown above, here are a few of my favourite fashion purchases from the past year. They’ve all appeared on the blog before.

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When winter rolled around again, I was very happy to start wearing the dark brown button fly cords from cabi again. Purchased in a season end sale last January, they’re a little dressier than my jeans.

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The neutral plaid shirt, originally from Gap, was an excellent second-hand purchase that only cost me $2! 

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As comfortable as pjs, these striped linen blend pants were a great addition to my summer wardrobe. They were also thrifted.  

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Finally, I was very fortunate to find this sleeveless top from cabi’s Fall 2018 Collection in our local thrift store in September. I don’t know where it had been hiding for the past five years, but it looked as if it had never been worn!

And now, with with just two days left in 2023, I want to take a moment to wish you and yours a very Happy New Year!

Wearing navy and rust

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Navy is often considered a neutral colour because, like black and grey, it’s a good base colour that plays well with just about every other colour. Perhaps that’s why I like dark wash jeans so much. They go with almost everything. That’s not as true of my rust coloured corduroy skinnies. I often pair them with cream, but when I tried them with navy, I knew I’d found another combo that worked. 

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Except for the slippers, I’m dressed in head to toe cabi here. Though you probably can’t see them very well in the photos, even my earrings are from cabi. The pants are from the fall 2020 season and the lightweight striped pullover is from fall 2017. It has been a workhorse in my wardrobe for the past six years and it’s beginning to show it’s age. It’s cost per wear would be so low that it definitely doesn’t owe me a thing and I’m keeping my eye out for something similar to replace it with when it’s no longer wearable. 

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For some reason, this colour combination reminds me of my mother. She was an artist who loved colour. When she decided to redecorate our living room with a blue carpet and an orange couch back in the early 1960s, I remember being somewhat skeptical. That’s when she sat me down and taught me about the colour wheel and complementary colours. Colours that are opposite one another on the wheel go well together, she told me. I guess Mom knew what she was talking about! 

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Perhaps it’s Christmas and not just colours that has me reminiscing about family, so let me take this opportunity to wish you and yours a very Merry Christmas! Whether you’ve been naughty or nice, I hope Santa is good to you!  

What I wore for a Christmas event

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I really didn’t want to buy anything new for the few Christmas events that we’d be attending this season, but I did take a look at what was in the stores. It quickly became obvious that I didn’t need to buy anything. Everything I saw was either black, red, or sparkly and I already had similar items in my closet from Christmases past. Here’s what I wore for a banquet that we attended last Sunday evening.

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I started with a pair of wide-legged black pants that have been in my wardrobe since the last time wide legs were in style! A sleeveless top, also several years old, added a bit of sparkle and a hint of red. After trying on several possible toppers, I settled on a cozy sweater jacket that I purchased at one of our local thrift stores a few winters ago. I tend to feel chilly much of the time, but I knew that even if the venue was a bit cool, I’d be warm enough dressed this way.

I accessorized the outfit with a pair of sparkly earrings and a necklace that also has a bit of sparkle. The little vintage evening bag is big enough to hold everything I need for an evening out and is one of my favourite second-hand finds. While I could have taken a pair of dressy shoes to change into, I decided that I’d just wear my red ankle boots and leave them on.

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Although a few women were dressed more formally or fancier than I was, others were dressed more casually. Neither overdressed nor underdressed, I felt very much at ease in my ‘middle of the road’ outfit.  It fit my five style adjectives… classy, comfortable, casual, confident, and authentic.

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Posture and appearance

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“Stand up straight!” “Stop slouching!” 

Did you hear your mother’s voice or perhaps your grandma’s when you read that? It’s timeless advice that’s worth heeding. Good posture has many health benefits. Incorrect alignment of the spine puts extra stress on the legs and can lead to achy knees and feet. Poor posture can have a negative impact on circulation and digestion and may lead to increased headaches. Good posture is also essential to balance which becomes increasingly important as we age.

So, what does good posture look like?

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Image: Stanford University

Notice that in the image on the left, the model’s ears are directly above her shoulders. One of the leading causes of poor posture today is constantly looking down at phones and laptops. Did you know that your head weighs approximately 5 kg (11 pounds)? Every time you look down for an extended period of time its weight adds stress to muscles, joints, and nerves, especially in the neck and upper back.

But what does all this have to do with our appearance? Have you ever been to a fashion show or watched one online? Models, without exception, have great posture; shoulders back, chin level and hips neutral. There’s a reason for that. Clothing always looks better on a body with good posture.

I love to people watch and I can’t help noticing that people with good posture walk with more ease and grace. They look taller, more slender, more confident, happier, and healthier. So, as you put on your Christmas finery and head out the door to whatever special occasions this season holds, remember to listen to that inner voice that’s telling you to “Stand up straight!”

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Sixteen years of blogging!

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I published my very first blog post sixteen years ago today! It was also the shortest post I’ve ever written; a brief message announcing that hubby and I had just accepted positions teaching conversational English in Japan. The blog was meant to share that year-long adventure with friends, family and anyone else who might be interested. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that it would still be alive and well sixteen years later!

The title, Following Augustine, no longer fits the blog as well as it did in those early days, but since it’s what I’ve been known as in the blogosphere for more than a decade and a half, I hesitate to consider changing it. You can read about why I originally chose the title here.

Though I probably already had neuroendocrine cancer (NETS) when the blog was born, I didn’t know about it until several years later. When I finally received a correct diagnosis, blogging became a helpful way to process what was happening and to share the journey with friends and family. I also use the blog to raise awareness of NETS. I’m sure that this will continue to happen as I’ve recently become a member of a newly formed Advocacy Advisory Board that will report to the board of directors of the Canadian Neuroendocrine Tumour Society (CNETS).

When I started the blog, writing about fashion was the farthest thing from my mind. Several years ago, however, I starting following several fashion blogs and began to develop a greater interest in the topic. It was then that I decided to add the weekly Fashion Friday feature. At times, I find it a challenge to come up with a new fashion related topic every week, but it’s been a great way to connect with other women and to ensure that I post something at least once a week. Fashion Friday has a fairly small, but loyal following of interested readers, so I as long as I can continue to think of engaging content, I plan to keep the feature going.

As an avid reader, it was my passion for books that prompted me to add the latest feature to the blog, a monthly book review that first appeared at the beginning of February this year.

I refer to Following Augustine as a lifestyle, travel, and fashion blog, but in recent years, there hasn’t been as much travel content as I would have liked. First, the pandemic and then a number of other health issues, both mine and hubby’s, have limited our ability to spend as much time away from home as we would like, but our brand new ten year passports arrived in yesterday’s mail and we hope to be able to put them to good use in the future. If that happens, the blog will once again chronicle our wanderings.

Following Augustine will probably continue to undergo changes from time to time, but at this point, I don’t see it coming to an end anytime soon. Over the past sixteen years, I’ve published over 1400 posts and I expect that I’ll continue adding to that number until I’m no longer able!

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A day to remember!

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On December 1, 1923 my mother’s baby sister, Norma Pearl Raby, was born. On Friday, we had the privilege of celebrating her 100th birthday! What an amazing milestone!

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Auntie Norma and I have always been close. In fact, she often told people that I was the daughter she never had! For several years I’d been telling her that I planned to be at her 100th birthday party and I was only half joking as I knew that she’d had an aunt who lived to almost 103.

Auntie Norma has lived in Jasper, Alberta since 1953 and is now the town’s oldest living resident. Always active in the community, she lived in her own home until the age of 97 when she moved into the Alpine Summit Seniors Lodge. On Friday, the lodge staff went above and beyond as they prepared for her very special day. They set up and decorated a table in the common area for our family celebration and served us a lovely lunch. The table decor included photos from throughout Norma’s life and the pièce de résistance of the meal was the amazing cake baked and decorated by a member of the lodge’s kitchen staff!

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For most of her life, Auntie Norma was robust and physically active. In fact, we went hiking with her when she was 87 years old! Over the past year, however, she has become very frail. Now virtually blind and confined to bed or wheelchair, her once sharp memory has started to fail. She has good days and bad, but Friday was a very good day! Although she sometimes goes for days without eating, she had absolutely no problem polishing off two pieces of that delicious chocolate cake!

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She was alert and attentive as numerous residents of the lodge and visitors from the community came by after lunch to wish her a happy birthday. Her body may be failing but her sweet spirit and her sense of humour are definitely intact! It was such a privilege for Richard and I to share her special day with my cousins (or perhaps I should say my brother’s from another mother), Norma’s two sons and their partners.

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Now back home, my heart is full as I look back on such a wonderful day and consider how fortunate I am to have had this special lady in my life for such a long time!