Author: edebock

Random stuff about me

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When I packed for Costa Rica, one of the things that went into our suitcase was a very special leather bound journal; a retirement gift from the students of Lougheed School. It’s travelled to many interesting places over the past four and a half years but it still had enough pages left to record the highlights of this trip. I planned to refer to it when we got home and I resumed blogging but unfortunately, though we got home in the wee hours of this morning, the suitcase containing the journal did not! In fact, I watched from my window seat as the baggage handlers at the Houston airport failed to put it onto the plane yesterday afternoon and was powerless to do anything about it! I have no idea why they wouldn’t load it but the return trip was a comedy of errors from beginning to end and included an unscheduled overnight stay in Houston. That’s a story for another day, however. In the meantime, suffice it to say that we had an absolutely awesome time which, try as they might, Continental Airlines was not able to spoil!

For today, however, my brain is too tired to handle anything beyond following the example of my blogging buddy, Donloree, and answering some random questions about myself. Perhaps some of you who have only met me through the blogosphere will learn a little more about me today…

  • What’s the most interesting or moving book you’ve ever read?
In my opinion, Half the Sky: Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women Worldwide by Nicholas D. Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn should be required reading for every citizen of the developed world. Kristof and WuDunn are upfront and clear; their aim is to recruit their readers to get involved in helping provide the economic resources that will transform the lives of women in many parts of the world who face unspeakable violence, exploitation and oppression. This book had a tremendous impact on me and prompted me to become a lender through the Kiva organization.
  • Which do you prefer: the book or the movie?
Always, the book!
  • If you could move to anywhere tomorrow, where would it be?
I honestly have no idea! There is so much world out there; so many places I’d like to see and experience. Somewhere warm where I could hear the sound of the surf as I drifted off to sleep every night would definitely work well for me though!
  • What’s the one thing in life that you can’t leave the house without?

My glasses. I’ve been wearing them since I was two and I’m pretty useless without them.

  • What’s the furthest place you’ve flown to?
The tiny tropical island of Saipan.
  • If you could be anyone for a day, who would it be?
Wow! That’s a tough one. It would be wonderful to be able to see the world through someone else’s eyes for a day but in reality, I just want to be the best ME that I can be.
  • What is one word that best describes you?  (only one)
Adventurous.
  • What’s been your greatest accomplishment to date?
Raising fantastic children! I am so proud of each one of them.
  • What’s your favourite type of food?
At the moment, I’m missing Costa Rican food. Who would have thought I could love rice and beans three meals a day? Of course, there were many other flavourful dishes to go with them. In reality, however, I’d have to say chocolate. After all, it is an essential food group, isn’t it?
  • What’s one nickname you have?
My daughter has called me Marmee ever since she played the role of Beth in Little Women in high school drama.
  • What’s the best thing you did in 2011?

Spent the summer working as a short term missionary alongside my husband providing summer ministry coverage for Living Hope Church of the Nazarene on Saipan.

So, now that you know a little more about me, what about you?

It’s your turn!

And yes, I’ll be back very soon to share more about our Costa Rican adventure. Hopefully, the suitcase will find it’s way home and I’ll have the journal to help me out!

Packing again!

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On what is perhaps the coldest day of winter so far I’m taking out my summer clothes! Why, you ask? Because I’m packing again!

Back in October, when Richard and I celebrated our 35th wedding anniversary, we decided to celebrate by taking a mid winter vacation to someplace warm. I searched the internet for possibilities. I considered a cruise. In fact, I almost booked a seven day western Caribbean excursion but it just didn’t feel right. I thought about an all-inclusive resort vacation and considered all sorts of sunny destinations. That didn’t feel right either. I thought about renting a condo on a beach somewhere. That was appealing but then along came just the right thing… a Costa Rican adventure!

I was looking for something that wouldn’t take as much planning on my part as some of our Asian adventures required and something where we’d feel a little more pampered. On the other hand, we simply couldn’t see ourselves sitting in a luxury resort sipping cool drinks by the pool for an entire week. Not that that doesn’t have appeal but we can do that when we’re too old for more adventurous pursuits.

So what will we be doing? We’ll fly out on Thursday morning and begin with three days at a beach resort on the Pacific coast. Then we’ll move inland to Arenal Volcano National Park where we’re looking forward to doing some hiking and get this… the lady who has worked hard at overcoming her fear of heights is going to experience the rain forest from above on a zip line canopy tour! They may have to push me off the first platform but I can hardly wait!

Our package includes almost everything including a rental car to get from place to place. All we’ll be responsible for is finding lunch and supper each day which means we’ll be free to sample a variety of eating places and local cuisines.

In addition to commemorating our 35 years together, this vacation is also going to be a much needed digital detox for both us. As much as I love the internet, it’s easy to let it to consume more of our time than it ought to so the laptop is staying home this time and we won’t be searching out internet cafes. I’ll definitely be blogging about our adventures but not until we get home. We’ll only be gone for a week though so stay tuned!

It’s Awesomeday today!

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Monday’s child is fair of face,
Tuesday’s child is full of grace,
Wednesday’s child is full of woe,
Thursday’s child has far to go,
Friday’s child is loving and giving,
Saturday’s child must work for a living,
But the child that’s born on the Sabbath day,
Is fair and wise and good and gay.

Ever wondered why Wednesday’s child has it so rough compared to everyone else? Wednesday, or hump day as it’s often called, is that day in the middle of the week when we’re farther from a weekend than on any other day, the day when we finally make it to the top of the proverbial hill and begin to descend toward the end of the work week. It’s no longer boring old woeful Wednesday though. Now it’s Awesomeday!

Awesomeday, is a movement that I predict will sweep across the pages of Facebook. It was born last spring when Sarah Engledow Brown’s friend, Kimberly, made a statement that caught Sarah’s fancy. “Today is such a good day, I want to call it Awesomeday!”

I’m sure Kimberly had no idea what a far reaching effect that simple statement would have. “I decided to make all of my Facebook posts that day things that are awesome” says Sarah, a mom, music librarian and fitness coach who lives in Murfreesboro, Tennessee. In fact, the two friends decided to do that every Wednesday. Sarah soon created an Awesomeday Facebook page and the concept has been growing ever since.

Awesomeday first came to my attention when my former student, fellow thespian and friend, Natalee, began posting “Things that are awesome” updates on her Facebook page every Wednesday. One of the most creative people I know, Natalee is a busy young mother and a talented photographer who has been working very hard to establish her professional business. I know how hectic her life can be and how easy it would be for her to become negative when frustration builds so her positive, sunny updates throughout the day every Wednesday were a delight to me. Soon I saw others joining her and so today, I too, joined the Awesomeday movement! What amazed me most has been how great I’ve felt as I’ve gone through my pretty average day looking for things that are awesome. Truly, we are surrounded by awesomeness all the time but too often we fail to take note of it or to share it and brighten someone else’s day.

My status updates so far today have read:

Things that are awesome #1: 11 push ups this morning!

Things that are awesome #2: Alberta sunshine pouring in the window even when it’s -15C outside!

Things that are awesome #3: Becoming Facebook friends with the Awesomeday originator!

Things that are awesome #4: A husband who does housework!

I actually thought that the Awesomeday idea had originated with Natalee until I messaged her to ask for permission to blog about it and discovered that she was simply an ambassador for something much bigger, something that I’d like to pass on to you.

So what’s been awesome about your day? Why not join the Awesomeday movement and make thinking positive a part of your Wednesday every week!

What am I doing in the basement?

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According to a recent article in The Globe and Mail, one in eleven people over the age of 65 suffers from Alzheimer’s disease. The likelihood of developing the disease doubles about every five years after age 65 says the Alzheimer’s Association website. After age 85, the risk reaches nearly 50 percent. A family history of Alzheimer’s increases one’s risk of developing the disease even further.

I don’t make New Year’s resolutions but given the fact that I’ve been watching this disease gradually rob my mother of her memory and her mind, I’ve definitely been giving a lot of thought to what I can do to lead a brain-healthy lifestyle and to reduce my risk of suffering the same fate.

The Secret Life of the Grown-Up Brain by Barbara Strauch was a reassuring read. Impeccably researched and easy to read, the book explores the latest findings that demonstrate that the middle-aged brain like mine is actually more flexible and more capable than previously thought. Apparently standing in the basement wondering what I came down to get or failing to remember a name that I know I should know are not signs that I’m losing it after all!

Though there isn’t enough scientific evidence to prove that a healthy lifestyle can prevent Alzheimer’s, studies have shown that regular exercise, a healthy diet, managing stress, getting quality sleep, staying socially active and engaging in mentally stimulating activities may help prevent or delay symptoms. So how am I doing? The beginning of a new year seems like a good time for a bit of self examination and perhaps some goal setting.

I’d definitely give myself high marks for exercise and diet. I was working hard at maintaining physical fitness and healthy eating long before I began to think about what effect they might have on my brain. Fortunately what’s good for my heart and the rest of my body is also good for my brain. The Christmas season sabotaged my efforts in both these areas but now that I’m back home and into routine again, I’ll soon be back on track and yes, Santa did come… I met my goal of being able to do ten push ups by Christmas morning! Hopefully I’ll soon be doing even more.

Stress management and quality sleep go hand in hand for me. As long as I’m not feeling anxious about anything, I usually sleep well and when I’m well rested I handle stress better. I assume that that’s probably true for most people. Retirement has, of course, been a wonderful stress reducer! I still have crazy school dreams once in a blue moon but not like I used to. For reasons that neither my doctor nor I have been able to figure out, I’ll lay awake for hours if I eat anything sweet after about 8:30 p.m. so I’ve learned not to do that. I also sleep better in the winter time when we have longer hours of darkness. That’s one definite goal for this year; darker blinds for the bedroom before spring arrives. I plan to buy ones to match the newly painted feature wall.

Being away as much as Richard and I are, staying socially active and connected is something we need to consciously work on when we’re at home. While we wander the world, everyone else’s life goes on and if we want to be included we need to keep our connections strong. For that reason, entertaining more is another one of my goals for the coming year. I see the effects of failing to stay socially active in my mother’s life. After Dad retired, they settled into a high rise apartment in Vancouver where Mom didn’t make the effort to get out and develop new relationships. Once a very social person, she gradually became more and more reclusive. Now that she’s truly housebound, she has no friends to come and visit.

I don’t know how much failing to stay mentally active had to do with Mom’s eventual decline but I’m determined not to let that happen to me. I’m a firm believer in the importance of lifelong learning. I’m an avid reader and also a member of Lumosity, a website that offers of a series of engaging brain games and exercises each designed to improve a particular area of cognition; speed, memory, attention, flexibility or problem solving. In addition to playing individual games, participants can enrol in guided brain fitness courses that are designed to improve each of the five areas. Brain training has become as much a part of my daily life as eating and sleeping. Since Christmas, I’ve also been working on logic puzzles. Thank you to the Santa who put a whole book of them in my stocking!

So am I worrying about the possibility of succumbing to Alzheimer’s disease? Not really. When I stand in the basement trying to remember why I’m there, I’ll simply remind myself that that’s normal forgetfulness and that I’m doing everything I can to prevent something much worse.



Alzheimer’s is robbing me of my mother

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I originally started this blog to chronicle our travels when we moved to Japan to teach English for a year. For the past several years, our family has also been on a journey of a very different kind as we’ve watched my mother gradually spiral downward and disappear into the depths of Alzheimer’s disease but I haven’t felt at liberty to blog about it until now. Until recently, my father, who is a very private person and also Mom’s primary caregiver, has been one of my most faithful readers. Out of respect for him, I didn’t share our journey publicly but now that his very old computer has died and he’s discontinued his internet service, I feel free to write about it.

I still remember the summer visit several years ago when I first had an inkling that something was wrong. I mentioned one of Mom’s grandchildren and she had no idea who I was talking about. Her question, “Who’s Jessica?” was for me one of those life changing moments when my entire world seemed to shift on its axis. I lay awake at night wondering what the future would hold and experiencing for the first time a deep sense of anxiety that has become more and more familiar to me.

Over the ensuing years, the mother that I grew up with has disappeared and parent has gradually become child. It has been a fairly slow decline. Many times, Mom would seem to slip very noticeably and then plateau for a time giving us a chance to get used to the changes before more drastic ones surfaced. Unfortunately, Dad seemed to be in denial for the longest time making it impossible for us to discuss the situation with him or to be of much help. It’s only in the last year that Mom’s condition has been clearly identified as Alzheimer’s disease and that we’ve been able to talk about it openly. The situation is made worse by the fact that my sister, my younger brother and I live in Alberta while Mom and Dad are here in Vancouver. Only our older brother, mentally handicapped and himself living in care, and our oldest son Matthew are here at the coast. We really can’t saddle Matthew, in his second year of a law career, renovating a house and parenting two very young children with the responsibility of watching out for his elderly grandparents. He and Robin visit as often as they can and do their best to keep us informed of any changes or problems that they notice.

The blessing in all of this, if there is such a thing, is the fact that Mom’s decline didn’t begin until she was over 80. Dad retired at 59 and they spent the next two decades following their dreams and travelling the world. They visited over 60 countries spending more than a year in Europe and 9 months in Australia. (I come by my gypsy blood honestly!) They took their last big trip 8 years ago when they flew to the Dominican Republic to celebrate their 55th wedding anniversary.

For the past few years, it’s been a chore to get Mom to leave their apartment. Now, at 89 years old, she is incontinent, legally blind and confined to a wheelchair. Though these infirmities are fairly recent developments, in Mom’s mind she’s suffered from them for most of her life and she’s constantly coming up with fanciful explanations that are in no way grounded in reality. Last night she told us that people are trying to poison her with peanut butter which has always been a favourite of hers! Sometimes all we can do is laugh. It’s either that or cry. She’s clearly in the sixth of the seven clinical stages of Alzheimer’s and needs constant care and supervision.

After 63 years of marriage, Dad refuses to allow them to be separated and insists on caring for her himself. He’s clearly wearing out and we don’t know how much longer he’ll be able to keep this up but he’s of sound mind and has the right to live life the way he chooses. There are those who suggest that we, as a family, should try to force him to put Mom into care but we are firm believers in the fifth commandment and we know of no other way to honour our parents than to allow them to live out their final years the way they want to while being as supportive as we can given our own circumstances.

This, of course, means more frequent visits. This is our third trip to Vancouver this year and each of my siblings has also been here. When we’re here, we thoroughly clean the apartment, a job that Dad has a hard time keeping up with these days, and try to provide opportunities for him to get out and have a break. This week, he even went on a forest adventure with great grandson, Sam!

Having Matt, Robin, Sam and little Nate here in Vancouver is indeed a blessing at this time in our lives. Visits to Vancouver would be much more difficult if we didn’t have them to stay with some of the time and, of course, grandchildren provide such wonderful stress relief!

Mom with her youngest great grandchild, Nate, in March 2011

Focus, Confidence, Hi-Ya!

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Wikipedia defines writer’s block as a condition in which an author loses the ability to produce new work. The writer may be greatly distracted and feel he or she may have something that needs to be done beforehand, it goes on to explain.

That would be exactly why I haven’t blogged much lately! Not only have I been busy with all the usual Christmas preparations… shopping, wrapping, baking, and decorating… but I took on a bit too much at the church finding myself responsible for three events in a ten day period! Individually, none of them was too much to handle but three coming in such a short period of time at an already busy time of year created a lot of stress. When I flipped the calendar page over to December, I suddenly found myself waking up at odd hours and lying in bed worrying about details that still needed to be taken care of. More than once, I was at the kitchen table writing lists at 3:30 in the morning! As is so often the case, things looked much better in the light of day. Others stepped in to help and everything went without a hitch. Now I’m free to relax and enjoy the Christmas season.

One of the best things about Christmas is time with family. That started this week with a pre Christmas trip to Calgary to visit our daughter, Melaina, her husband, Aaron, and our grandchildren, Drew and Jami-Lee. On our way home today, we stopped in Red Deer for lunch with Richard’s sister, Sue, and some of her family. As her five-year-old grandson, Kale, told us about his tae kwon do lessons and pantomimed breaking a board, he repeated the mantra Focus, Confidence, Hi-Ya!

I couldn’t help thinking that that’s how I should approach life’s challenges! I’d add one crucial element, however. So, in the coming year, instead of lying awake and worrying when life gets stressful I plan to face my challenges with

Focus, Prayer, Confidence and a mighty Hi-Ya!

Thanks, Kale!

Bethlehem Walk

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We went to Bethlehem today without ever leaving Alberta! West Edmonton Christian Assembly, just off Anthony Henday Drive on the western outskirts of the city, is hosting its second annual Bethlehem Walk and it was well worth the four hours of driving to get there and back. 81 000 square feet of indoor space have been converted into the streets and shops of ancient Bethlehem. More than 450 volunteers dressed in period costumes add authenticity to the scene.

We started with the shepherds in the fields outside Bethlehem where angels high above our heads sang out the good news of the Messiah’s birth. Inside the gates, the streets of Bethlehem were crowded just as they were on that first Christmas some 2000 years ago. Wandering from shop to shop, we enjoyed the sights, sounds, tastes and smells of the busy town. We sampled dates, honey, buns and tea; smelled frankincense, soap and spices; watched the potter kneading clay and saw wheat being ground into flour and olives being pressed for oil.

   

I lingered longest in the stable behind the Bethlehem Inn. There, amidst the pens of goats, sheep, donkeys and oxen… yes, live goats, sheep, donkeys and oxen… we found Mary, Joseph and the wee baby Jesus. When we arrived, he was sound asleep in the manger. I was especially moved by the little golden haired girl who stood in wonder and repeatedly asked, “Is he real?” Yes, sweetheart, He is real! I thought as I remembered the line from my favourite Christmas song…

Mighty God and fragile baby, here a lowly manger holds.
And it’s still the greatest story ever told.

This, I thought, is what Christmas is really all about and I stayed until the baby woke.

Moving on, we passed the blacksmith making nails and, finally, the cross maker chiselling and forming crosses to be used by the oppressive Roman authorities to execute criminals on; not by choice, he hastened to tell us, but because the Romans had conscripted him to do so. Locating the blacksmith and the cross maker immediately following the stable was clearly the result of careful planning and was very effective. After all, what is Christmas without Easter? the manger without the cross?

 

All I want for Christmas

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Six months ago I couldn’t do a push up; not even one. In fact, in spite of all my years of weight lifting, I’d never been able to do one; not even a so-called ladies or knee push up which, in my opinion, isn’t really a push up at all. When the tendonitis healed and my frozen shoulders thawed, I decided it was time to learn. I found a great little instructional video on YouTube and got to work.

Beginning with wall push ups, I worked intermittently over the summer months, gradually moving down from doing push ups against the wall to the kitchen counter to the bathroom counter to the three step landing in our entrance. By fall, I was using the coffee table. That’s when I decided what I wanted for Christmas… ten perfect push ups… real ones, on the floor! Today I struggled through seven fearing that I was going to collapse face first on the floor at any moment. It wasn’t pretty!

Can I eke out three more before Christmas? I’m really not sure but I’m going to give it my best shot.

From drab to dramatic

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It’s amazing the difference a change of colour can make. After visiting Matt and Robin last month while they were in the midst of renovating their new house then stopping at Melaina’s on the way home and seeing how a coat of paint had taken her small bathroom from drab to dramatic, I came home all fired up to do a bit of redecorating of my own.

I began by tackling the feature wall in our bedroom. Down came the 1980’s wallpaper and on went several coats of paint. Choosing the colour took awhile and involved consultations with several friends. I wanted a colour somewhere between brown and burgundy but who knew that there would be so many shades to choose from. We looked at colours with fanciful names like Avent Garde and Arabian Nights but settled on Burnt Brick. It isn’t easy to imagine what a finished project will look like based on a 2 inch colour chip but I’m delighted with the outcome.

Before

After

Did you notice that we also raised the headboard on the bed?

So, if a new colour makes that much difference, is there something here that I should change? So far, I’ve chosen not to cover my ‘silver highlights’ but what do you think?

   

A changing view!

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Exactly one week after posting my latest rant about the unfinished house across the street a crew pulled in and started working on the exterior! I feel sorry for the men working out in the cold but finally, after sitting untouched for three years, the house going to be finished! I feel as if I’ve been given a gift. We’ll finally see something more attractive than that ugly monstrosity every time we look out our front windows. I’ve always loved the style of the house and I think the grey siding is giving it a very classic look.

I don’t think my rant had anything to do with the sudden change even though I did send a link to the new town administrator. Unlike her predecessor, she replied almost immediately telling me that the property owner had been given until December 20 to finish the exterior or the town would hire someone to do it and charge the work to him.

Rumours abound in small towns and one never knows for sure what to believe but we’ve been told that work on the house came to a standstill because the property owner was dealing with legal and financial issues that started when one of the subcontractors failed to complete his portion of the job correctly and then had a lien put on the house when he wasn’t paid in full. Apparently those issues have finally been resolved and work can now continue.

As a future neighbour, I tried to be patient and only complained to the town a couple of times. Like the rest of our neighbours, we would probably have been much more sympathetic if either the property owner or the town had communicated with us and given us some idea what was going on and when we might expect the situation to be resolved. I was startled recently when an acquaintance told us that that was none of our business! I’m trying to be generous and assume that that’s because he’s never lived in town and doesn’t understand why there are things like unsightly premises bylaws.

What do you think? What should a good neighbour reasonably expect to put up with?