Age isn’t something to be ashamed of

April 28, 2023April 26, 2023 / edebock / 4 Comments

Facebook obviously knows that I’m an older woman and it seems to think that my greatest desire in life ought to be to look younger. I’m constantly bombarded by articles and advertisements telling me how to hide my age. Articles like “the 10 things a woman over 50 should never wear” or “12 fashion mistakes that make you look old”. The latest one featured hairstyles that older women should never wear. I was astonished to see these photos included in that article.

Astonished, perhaps, because this is pretty much how I’m wearing my hair these days, but also because I think both women look quite stunning. Apparently, however, short haircuts like this draw attention to the face; that poor old wrinkled face! So what are we supposed to do when we reach a certain age? Hide our faces behind long shaggy hair? Wear a burka? I think not!

As long as I can remember, advertising aimed at women has screamed one message loud and clear… youth equals beauty! We have been hoodwinked into believing that we lose value as we age. As a result, many women go to great lengths to try to fight off the natural effects of passing years.

Several years ago, American professor and humorist, Gina Barreca, wrote this in an article for Psychology Today.

I refuse to spend money on so-called “anti-aging” products. I want to age. The opposite of aging isn’t staying young; that is not an option. The opposite of aging is death. And for that, you don’t need neck cream!

Amen! I love that.

I also love the fact that, thanks to the pandemic and not being able to visit their hairdressers for an extended period of time, many women let their hair go grey and discovered that they actually liked it. I have no problem with a woman colouring her hair if that’s what she wants to do, but I do have a problem with her feeling that she has to in an attempt to hide her age. Age isn’t something to be ashamed of!

In the same article, Barreca points out that the people who peddle high-priced products that promise to make us “look barely post-adolescent” aren’t looking at our faces; they’re looking at their bottom line. They really don’t care if we look young, old, or in-between; they just want to make a dollar. If you don’t think that’s true, look at the statistics. The global cosmetics industry is valued at $571.1 billion USD. Approximately $49.2 billion is generated by cosmetics sales in the United States each year and the average American spends between $244 and $313 on cosmetics every month! That’s absolutely astonishing!

I agree with 64-year-old actress, Jamie Lee Curtis, who once said, “I am pro-aging. I want to age with intelligence, and grace, and dignity, and verve, and energy.” Apparently, she’s also in favour of very short haircuts on older women.

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Golden years?

April 23, 2023April 22, 2023 / edebock / 13 Comments

Have you ever wondered why they call our retirement years, the years from 65 to 80 and beyond, the golden years? The phrase was actually coined in 1959 as part of an advertising campaign for Sun City, Arizona, the world’s first large-scale retirement community for active seniors. The goal, of course, was to portray retirement as a life of leisure; a time to travel, play golf, and pursue hobbies, but is it true?

For Christmas, I gave hubby a sweatshirt with one of his favourite sayings on the front. Retired: The ability to do what I want when I want. Lately whenever he wears it, he hastens to point out that it isn’t entirely true. These days, our lives seem to revolve around countless trips to the city for tests, scans, specialist appointments, and most recently, his prostate surgery. Maybe these should actually be called our rusty years because parts are continually breaking down and our bodies aren’t running as smoothly as they once did!

We certainly aren’t alone in this. At our recent senior bowling windup I looked around the table at our team and realized that all five of us either have or have had cancer. Many of our peers have had hip or knee replacements. Another has recently had a stroke and still others are waiting for biopsy results and/or surgery. No, retirement isn’t all traveling and playing!

I’m not really complaining… well, maybe just a little! I love the fact that we no longer have to rush off to work every day and that the government pays us for simply waking up every morning. I also realize that I’m fortunate to be alive. When I glance at the obituaries these days, many of the deceased are younger than me!

Some people claim that our true golden years are between 40 and 60 when we’re still physically and mentally fit and have probably reached some level of financial security. That led me to wonder, when were my golden years? When were yours? The first decade of my life, living in a waterfront house on the coast of British Columbia with the beach as my playground and the sound of the surf as my lullaby at night, was definitely golden. I look back on the years when my children were at home as golden. I loved that time of my life. There was a dark interval during the fourteen months that our oldest daughter fought her losing battle with leukemia, but even during that time, there were golden moments. When we were in our fifties, the year that we spent teaching English in Japan was golden.

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2 Corinthians 4:16b says, “Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.” In spite of the limitations of physical aging, I have no intention of passively resigning myself to coasting along and waiting for my name to show up in the obituaries! It was Abraham Lincoln who said, “In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.” So what can we do to make these years count, whether they are golden or rusty?

We may not be able to travel as often or for as long as we once could, but I’ll cherish the relationships that we have with people both near and far and when I can’t be together with them in person, I’ll remind myself how fortunate we are to have the internet, something that we didn’t have in our younger years. When I can’t explore far away places, I’ll seek out and appreciate ones that are closer to home. I’ll continue to offer the best of myself through volunteer work. I’ll read and learn and stay as physically active as I can for as long as I can. Always, I’ll remember to be thankful!

And finally, a message for those of you who are younger, don’t waste what might be the best years of your life yearning for the golden years. After all, they might turn out to be a little bit rusty!

Another second-hand find

April 21, 2023April 19, 2023 / edebock / 2 Comments

When our daughter and her three children were here for a visit last week, we did what we usually do when she’s here. We checked out the two local thrift stores. I don’t know who enjoys these outings more, Mom, Gram, or the almost 13-year-old granddaughter! She was very happy to find a colourful sweatshirt and a great pair of shoes.

I came home with three tops including the one that I’m showing you today.

The comfortable cotton shirt from Gap is perfect for this shoulder season when winter finally seems to be on the way out, but days are still quite cool. I love the warm neutral colours and the slightly oversized fit. Though you probably can’t see it in the photos, tiny threads of metallic gold run through the darkest bands elevating the casual look without being overly fancy.

Though the shirt would go just as well with jeans or leggings, I’m wearing it with a pair of dark olive chinos that have been in my spring/summer wardrobe for the past three years. I haven’t actually done my seasonal closet switch yet, but I did pull this pair out of storage as they’re a good transitional piece for this in-between time of year.

So why does our family enjoy second-hand shopping so much? For me, in addition to the fact that it’s a bit like going on a treasure hunt, there are three very distinct advantages.

Location. I live in a very small rural community. With the exception of the two thrift stores, the closest place to shop for clothing is an hour away. The thrift stores are local and support our small communities. Both are run by volunteers and the proceeds go to local churches and organizations.
Price. Similar shirts to the one that I’m featuring today sell on the Gap website for about $85, but I paid $2! I can afford to pay full price and buy new, but why would I when I can find quality clothes for so much less?
Sustainability. The environmental impact of the clothing industry is monumental. Fashion is responsible for approximately 10% of human-caused greenhouse gas emissions and 20% of global wastewater. It uses more energy than the aviation and shipping sectors combined. Shopping second-hand helps protect the environment and reduces the need to use natural resources to make new clothes. Again, what’s not to like about that?

Vogue’s oldest cover model

April 14, 2023April 6, 2023 / edebock / 2 Comments

Vogue is arguably the most famous fashion magazine in the world. First published in 1892 as a weekly newspaper, it slowly evolved into the monthly publication that it is today. While print magazines might not be as popular as they once were, the US edition of Vogue had 11.1 million readers in the spring of 2021! There are also 26 other editions of the magazine internationally. Sometimes referred to as the bible of fashion, Vogue is an iconic trendsetter within the realms of fashion, lifestyle, and beauty, and increasingly deals with political, social and cultural topics as well. When Vogue says something is beautiful, most people would probably agree.

Whang Od 106 Philippines

This month, Vogue Philippines says that 106-year-old Apo Whang-Od is beautiful and I couldn’t agree more! As Margareta Magnusson says in her small book, The Swedish Art of Aging Exuberantly, “a patina of warmth and a well-lived life shines visible in her face”.

Whang-Od is the Philippines’ oldest mambabatok or traditional Kalinga tattoo artist and has been performing the ancient art of hand-tapped tattoos since she was a teenager. Every year thousands of tourists flood to Buscalan, a remote mountain village about a 15 hour drive north of Manila, seeking her signature designs. Each symbol carries a special meaning. Some represent things of nature while others signify strength, beauty, bravery or fertility.

Whang Od uses an ancient technique; her only tools a bamboo stick, a thorn from a pomelo tree, water and coal. With intense concentration, she paints a design on the skin using the homemade coal-water ink then tap by tap, she uses the thorn and the stick to push the ink deep into the skin

According to tradition, a mambabatok is only allowed to pass their skill down through their own bloodline, so Whang-Od, who learned the art from her father, has been training her grandnieces in the ancient art. At 106, however, she has no plans to retire. She says that she will continue tattooing for as long as her eyesight allows!

“We believe that the concept of beauty needs to evolve, and include diverse and inclusive faces and forms. What we hope to speak about is the beauty of humanity,” said Vogue editor-in-chief, Bea Valdes. I think they also captured the beauty of age! Prior to this, the oldest Vogue cover model was Dame Judi Dench who appeared on the front of the British edition in 2020 at the age of 85.

When I saw the cover picture of Whang-Oh, I couldn’t help thinking of this photo, one of my favourites from our time in China. She may not be a cover model for Vogue, but she’s appeared on the blog more than once before and I wouldn’t be surprised if she did again! I don’t know her name and I have no idea how old she was, but I thought she was beautiful and I still do.

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Always try it on

April 7, 2023April 3, 2023 / edebock / 2 Comments

At this time of year, as we wait for spring to finally arrive here on the prairie, I grow very weary of my winter wardrobe. As a result, I recently picked up a couple of new-to-me tunics at our local thrift stores to add a bit of variety to my end of season closet. I shared one of them with you last week and today I’m featuring the other one.

Two of the tips for successful thrift store shopping that I shared with you in this post are “try everything on” and “don’t limit your search to the size you usually wear.” Following my own advice definitely paid off this time. When I checked the label, I was surprised to see that the tunic was an extra large. It didn’t look that big, so knowing that size isn’t consistent from one brand to another, I decided to try it on anyway. I usually wear a medium, sometimes a large, but never XL. Never, until now, that is!

As I headed for the dressing room, I was skeptical about whether or not I’d be bringing this garment home with me, but I knew that at this time of year, I’d want to wear it over something with sleeves. I was pleased to find that, while it fit fairly loosely, it didn’t look too oversized.

Here I’m wearing the tunic over a lightweight sweater, my dark brown button front skinnies from cabi’s Fall 2022 collection, and my tall brown boots, all pieces that have appeared on the blog before. The pants are the only item that I purchased brand new!

I recently read several comments on a British fashion blog from readers who absolutely hate the colour brown and would never wear it. They all agreed that their loathing of the colour originated in childhood when they had to wear drab brown school uniforms. Thankfully, I didn’t have that experience. In fact, my memory of brown is quite different. Although she often wore brighter colours, brown was my mother’s favourite colour. She would have loved today’s outfit! Isn’t it interesting how early associations affect our fashion choices later in life?

I’m not sure if this tunic will stay in my wardrobe long term or not, but I’m glad I tried it on and brought it home. For a whopping $2.50, it’s added something new to my late winter/early spring wardrobe and the three large buttons on the cowl collar and the pockets are worth more than that!

Book of the month – March 2023

April 1, 2023March 31, 2023 / edebock / 4 Comments

When the Moon is Low

Nadia Hashimi

Nadia Hashimi’s second adult novel is the gripping story of a mother and her children fleeing Afghanistan after the brutal murder of her husband by the Taliban. Their one hope is to find refuge with her sister’s family in London, England. It’s also the story of Fereiba’s teenage son, Saleem, who becomes separated from the family as they make their perilous journey into Iran, Turkey and across Europe.

Released in 2015, this international bestseller is a riveting story of hardship, desperation, and harrowing escapes. It’s also coming-of-age story as Saleem learns to navigate the dark world of human trafficking and squalid refugee camps on his own while desperately trying to reunite with his family. I found it completely engrossing and hard to put down!

Like her first novel, The Pearl That Broke Its Shell, and her more recent ones, A House Without Windows and Sparks Like Stars, When the Moon is Low is a work of fiction based on reality. Hashimi was born in New York to Afghani parents who emigrated in the early 1970s before the Soviet invasion and the rise of the Taliban, but she draws on the experiences of family members and others who shared the details of their sometimes heartbreaking journeys with her.

In addition to her four adult novels, Hashimi has written two novels for young readers, The Sky at Our Feet and One Half from the East, that also deal with life in modern-day Afghanistan and those who have had to flee.

All of Hashimi’s novels give the reader a glimpse into the lives of Afghan girls and women, but When the Moon is Low also opens our eyes to the perilous journeys of the ever increasing number of refugees from a variety of backgrounds who have flooded Europe in recent years and their harrowing attempts to find asylum. It is a story of both the kindness of strangers and the harsh realities of persecution.

Nadia Hashimi is a pediatrician, the mother of four children, and a former Democratic congressional candidate for the United States House of Representatives. How she finds time in such a busy life to write, I have no idea, but I’m very glad that she does!