This has been the view out our front windows for the past seven months. For close to 30 years, we looked out at a vacant lot. In the summer, the town kept it mowed and it was a great place for kids to play. Several winters, when our children were young, Richard ran a garden hose across the street and flooded the lower end of the lot to provide a skating rink for the neighbourhood. We celebrated one of Matthew’s February birthdays with a skating party and bonfire on the vacant lot. Our old tent trailer spent many winters parked in one of its corners.

We didn’t really expect anyone to buy the long, narrow corner lot but shortly before we left for Japan, we learned that it had sold. While we were gone, we heard from friends and neighbours that a monster house was being built across from ours. We came back expecting to see a finished house but this is what greeted us. It hasn’t changed one iota since. We understand that it’s at the centre of a lawsuit between the owner and one of the contractors who insisted on being paid for work he didn’t do. Apparently, nothing more can be done until the suit is settled.

For awhile, during the summer, the lot became an eyesore with building supplies strewn around and gigantic weeds everywhere. I thought about complaining to the town office but before I did, the owners showed up and cleaned up a bit. That’s the only time I’ve seen them there.

Though the house is much too big for the lot and dwarfs everything around it, I like the design and was anxious to see what it would look like finished. Now, with so much time gone by, I wonder if it will ever be completed or if it will gradually deteriorate and eventually have to be torn down.

Recently, one of our neighbours referred to it as the haunted house. I hadn’t thought of it until then but it definitely has that look, especially at night with the moon rising over it. Tomorrow evening as I open the door to little ghosts and goblins, I’ll have to watch for spooks in the shadows of the haunted house!

We’re home from our trip to Vancouver and planning to stay for awhile so we’re debating whether or not to put our names back on the substitute teacher list. We know that our skills are in demand and the pay would supplement our pensions rather nicely but we’re really not sure we want to.

After retiring in June of 2007, we both did quite a bit of subbing until we left for Japan in February 2008. In Japan, we taught full time for 12 months with our longest break being only two weeks. It was an amazing experience but, by the time it was over, we were definitely ready for a break from the classroom. We decided that we wouldn’t put our names back on the sub list until at least the end of this October. There’s a shortage of qualified substitute teachers in this area, however, and we hadn’t been back in town for 24 hours when the phone rang the first time and we were asked if one of us could come in the following day! We declined but the phone continued to ring quite regularly throughout the remainder of the school year. We thought it might begin again in September but, since our names still didn’t appear on the list, I guess the message finally sank in.

Neither of us would mind subbing occasionally if we always knew in advance and could plan accordingly. There are many times when teachers have medical appointments or workshops to attend and are able to book their subs in advance but there are also those early morning phone calls! We remember the times when we woke up sick during the night and simply couldn’t go to school in the morning and sympathize with the poor teachers who find themselves in that boat but we’ve developed the delightful habit of sleeping in until 8 o’clock most mornings and dread the thought of the phone waking us an hour or more before that! With flu season upon us, we know that that could happen frequently.

It might not be too bad if we were certain that the phone would only ring once but, unlike most larger jurisdictions, there’s no central dispatch for subs in our area. Each teacher is responsible for calling their own sub so a person can end up fielding many calls for the same day. We also know that ours is a number that many teachers would call first because they have a two for one chance of getting someone.

For many years, in spite of the fact that I enjoyed my teaching career, I had what I called my “school dreams” in the days leading up to each new school year.  These were dreams in which everything went wrong.  All a teacher’s worst nightmares would visit me as the end of August approached! One of the nice things about retirement has been the absence of these dreams; until the past week, that is! Since we started discussing whether or not to begin subbing again, I’ve had several “school dreams” and in each one, I’ve been a substitute teacher! I spent one night dealing with a mixed class of grade 1 and grade 9 students and another night with a class of unruly high school English students who were supposed to be writing stories.  Instead, some of them laid on the floor, hid behind the shelves, or wandered in and out of the classroom while others gathered around tables and played cards! Last night even Richard had a “school dream”!  He dreamt that two of the most difficult students that he ever dealt with were in the same grade 5 class. In real life, these two young men are close to a generation apart in age but dreams are like that. They don’t always make a lot of sense but I wonder if these ones are telling us something?

The unfortunate part of substitute teaching is that it can sometimes be as trying as the scenarios in my dreams. I subbed for three years earlier in my career and during that time, I worked hard to establish a reputation amongst the students. I knew I’d succeeded when I walked through the halls of the high school and heard comments like “Oh no, it’s her!  We’re going to have to work today.” It wasn’t easy building that rep though and I’m not sure if I want to try to do it all over again.

On the other hand, we still love kids and winter is going to be long so maybe…  All I can say for sure at this point is that we have definitely decided not to do anything for another week or so, so that if we do walk into a classroom again, it won’t be until the post Halloween sugar highs have run their course!

Written Sunday, October 12:

We missed Thanksgiving while living in Japan last year. We’re making up for it with two celebrations this year. Yesterday, I prepared the traditional turkey dinner at my parents’ home here in Vancouver. We were joined around the heavily laden table by my older brother, Donald; our son, Matt; his wife, Robin and our littlest grandson, Sam, who at just fifteen days old, weighed less than the turkey! It was his first introduction to his greatgrandparents. Today, we’ll be joining Robin’s family for a second Thanksgiving dinner at her parents’ home.

As we approached this Thankgiving season, I began to ask myself what I am truly thankful for this year.  Here, in no particular order, is a list of things that came to mind:

–   the free gift of salvation that makes everything else in life worthwhile

–   family, particularly the addition of grandchildren to my life

–  dreams come true, especially the opportunity to spend a year living in         Japan

–   the amazing country that we call home and the opportunity to enjoy so        much of it this year

–   retirement, the freedom to do what we want to do when we want to do it

–   good health

–   wonderful friends

–   financial security

–   contentment

What more could anyone ask for? I am truly blessed.

We don’t have internet access at my parents’ home in Vancouver but I’m writing anyway and will post whenever I’m able.  The following was written on Saturday, October 10.

I’ve been afraid of heights for as long as I can remember but today I challenged that fear and won! Overcoming this phobia has actually been a long and gradual process. When my children were young I was determined not to pass my fear on to them so I forced myself to do things and go places that I might otherwise have avoided. I remember riding the glass elevator up the outside of the CN Tower in Toronto with them in 1991. I stood as far back as I could and still, by the time we reached the top, the brochure that I was carrying literally bore the imprint of my white knuckled fingers, I was clutching it so tightly.

I’ve also been determined to live life to the fullest and not to allow fear to keep me from seeing and experiencing all that it has to offer. Consequently, over time the fear has gradually diminished. Climbing Mount Fuji last year was a definite turning point. Since we climbed at night and couldn’t see beyond the area that was illuminated by our flashlights, my fear didn’t really kick in until after sunrise the following morning when we began our descent. At first, I was almost paralysed but once you’ve reached a mountaintop, staying there isn’t an option! I had no choice but to force myself to begin the downward climb. The trail was wide and, in my head, I knew that it was perfectly safe but that didn’t make it any easier. As I forced myself to continue putting one foot in front of the other, however, I gradually relaxed and began to enjoy the views laid out below us. By the time we reached the bottom, I knew that I had conquered a giant.

This fall, on a particularly windy day during harvest, it was necessary for either Louis or I to climb to the top of one granary to check whether or not it was full and then another to open the hatch. The only ladder that we had at our disposal was quite flimsy and in the wind, we didn’t consider it safe enough so he lifted me to the top of the granaries in the bucket of his front end loader!  To reach the hatch on the second one, I had to climb out of the bucket onto the top of the granary. There was a time when I couldn’t have forced myself to do that but it was actually fun. That’s when I knew it was time to challenge my long held fear of suspension bridges!

For several years, while growing up, I lived within walking distance of Lynn Valley Canyon in North Vancouver. As a terrified teen, I crossed the suspension bridge that dangles some 50 metres above the canyon a few times but I always had nightmares afterward. Returning as a adult some years later, I was unable to step foot on it. Even though the children were with us, I simply couldn’t force myself. They crossed with their father and grandfather while I stood by and watched.

Before we came to Vancouver this time, feeling confident that my fear was finally under control, I determined that we would visit the park again and that I would cross that bridge. I thought to go one day next week when the park wouldn’t likely be crowded and I might even be able to cross alone without the vibration caused by many people crossing at once. This morning, however, we woke to beautiful sunshine and even though it’s a long weekend and I knew that the park would be busy, I decided that today was the day.

We went directly to the bridge and I crossed, not once, not twice, but five times! The first time, I stepped out confidently but crossed with some hesitation and didn’t look down. The second time, I stopped midway and enjoyed the view and by the fifth time, I crossed without even touching the handrails! What a victory!

Will fear of heights ever threaten me again? I don’t know, but if it does I know that I will remember that I’ve crossed the bridge and hopefully that will give me the courage to step out in confidence.

Last Friday was our 33rd wedding anniversary. We drove to Calgary that day and spent the weekend with our daughter, son-in-law and 17 month old grandson, Andrew. While we were there, the first snow of the season fell. In my opinion, it came much too early!

Monday was my birthday. We left Calgary that morning and drove to Cranbrook, BC via Banff and Radium. The drive through the mountains was spectacular with fresh snow and sunshine on the peaks and fall colours all around us. What a gift!

After spending the night with friends, we continued our journey to Vancouver the following day to meet our newest grandson, Sam. What an exciting moment that was! Because we were living in Japan when Andrew was born, we didn’t meet him until he was over 10 months old. Needless to say, we’re cherishing the opportunity see and hold newborn Sam who is sound asleep in his bassinet behind me. I can hear his tiny breaths and little grunts as I write.

In addition to enjoying our time with the grandchildren, it’s been a pleasure to watch our children become parents. Melaina has proven herself to be a wonderful mom and to see Matt, a competent world traveler and soon to be full fledged lawyer, tenderly holding his wee son in his big hands and to hear him extolling the virtues of a new baby stroller or comparing diaper brands is truly delightful! As grandparents, we couldn’t be prouder.